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  1. It all started sept 23 when out of the blue my brain seemed to slow right down. Since then, i feel like I'm thinking through a fog. When i lay down, bang, heart palpitations like crazy. I can't sleep and all i can do is cry. I feel stupid and like I'm going crazy. I can't take it anymore! I'm on anxiety pills and sleep pills but i just want to be myself again!! I don't know what to do!
  2. I am in a mental tug of war. My doctor put me on Abilify 10mg. She claims it is the cleanest drug that is in the anti-psychotic category, she told me that my anxiety and depression are atypical because they are resistent to treatment, hard to treat. She told me that the Abilify would be for my depression and clonidine 0.1mg for my panic attacks at night. I am wondering if these are even remotly safe? I have read reviews about the Abilify... I think it is dangerous to even touch it with a 10 foot stick. Some people were projectile vomiting on it, others going into psychotic episodes, others having permanent and uncontrolable twitching of the face, legs, fingers, etc. I am just so scared that going on it will ruin my life, I have GERD and IBS so it just does not seem stomach safe. I am scared to take the clonidine also because I have a slow heartrate from my low thyroid. Really the only pill she gave me that I will happily take is my thyroid pill. I really do not know what to do. I told me therapist and he laughed, I am seriously thinking these two stupid pills that they want me on can kill me. Should I tell my doctor to forget about it and give me a differant prescription? Or just take these pills that I do not find safe at all?
  3. This is coming from a US citizen but I guess it goes out to people in general. The news is just eating me from the inside out. All of it is negativity and bad news and talking about some really awful things. Especially when we’re talking about politics. For example: making it ok to dump waste into the environment, taking money away from people with disabilities and pre existing conditions, general hatred and bigotry, it’s just really overwhelming. I’ve found myself avoiding the news entirely recently because I just can’t handle the stress. Has anyone figured out a way to deal with news related anxiety?
  4. For a while now ive noticed when i close my right armpit its a little sore, not bad at all but noticeable...with some feeling around i definitely foynd and enlarged im thinking the worst. It wouldnt be as bad if i already didnt feel a pea sized one on the back of my neck. Is it normal for these places to get these WITHOUT IT being the big C? Im trying not to panic. seriously
  5. Hello! I am new here and I need help so bad. I am sick with worry and I just can’t stop. I was having symptoms that caused me to go to the ER on Christmas Eve and the said I have a UTI and sent me home. 2 days later went to my gynecologist and she said I don’t have UTI and that she thinks I have a pelvic infection and have me an antibiotic. I asked her to do an ultrasound because I knew my symptoms were the same as ovarian “c” but she said since the ER did a CT scan it would have shown in there. Welll, she was wrong! I ended up at another ER the next day and they did an ultrasound and said I have 2 small cysts on my ovaries. He told me to accept that diagnosis and quite looking for more. But I am sick and worried that it’s ovarian “c” due to the exact smptoms and usually my cysts feel better by now and it’s been going on for 2 weeks. I have googled so much I literally just cry. I have a 10 year old daughter and I am just so scared. Im going to try to get into a different gyno since mine blew me off, and have her look at the ultrasound. I know ovarian “c” is so hard to diagnose and that’s what’s freaking me out. My symptoms are back pain, pelvic pain, peeing frequently, not eating, extreme fatigue and leg pain Anyone else that can help me?!? Please! Im sorry so long. Thank you so much if you read this far! ❤️
  6. Dixon444


    I think I'm having als.. around christmas I noticed my body twitches almost everywhere but later on I convinced myself it is not ALS, it's not a persistent twitching... my pinky went numb for once... but now I don't think those are ALS indicators... just because they're not constant and they aren't getting worse but better instead anyways.. after I convinced myself it is not ALS I thought something like that - "HMMM.. What about Bulbar onset als??" then I focused on my tongue... now my speech seems slurred but no one noticed it besides me... they all say I'm talking just fine... some say I'm actually talking too fast (this I can agree with) but then I read more about bulbar ALS, now I never experienced twitches in my tongue.. just the slurring thing and the feeling as if something's stuck in my throat(occasionaly)... Not actually sure what slurring is supposed to mean but here I'll explain my experience with it... Occasionaly I'd say a word containing S like Sword and (almost never) I'd pronounce it Shword(started when I thought about the bulbar als..) and the R sound, sometimes I miss it completely but again very rarely and after the thought of bulbar als... I usually take naps when I can and I remember taking a short nap for about 10 minutes when I woke up the slurring and the feeling as if something was in my tongue + the feeling of my tongue being heavy went away then it came back once I remembered.. (This makes me think it is not als but then again I became worried.. it still feels like this and my tongue is very tired I thought about it all day long... maybe when you think about an involuntary muscle actions and try to cntrol them you actually do them bad by "blocking" them, so to speak).What do you all think .. Is this somethiing I should worry about??? It make me worry a lot .... even tho I'm pretty sure its not als
  7. Jremtx


    So if anyone has seen my past post I’m a 2 month ALS anxiety struggler. People that have commented on my older post, thank y’all for calming my anxiety. I have a job opportunity that’s gonna require me to move away from my hometown for awhile and I’m not going to be here for the holidays. I’m really nervous due to the fact I might get another panic attack or my anxiety with the fear of als is going to bring me down. I tell myself I should go because I feel it’s going to prove to myself that nothing is wrong with me. But apart me is scared that if I go something is gonna happen and I’m going to wake up with an symptom. If anyone can please give me advise, help me calm down I would really appreciate it.
  8. It seems as though my anxiety has now jumped from ALS or MS to being HIV positive. I went through a lot of the threads where others have had this worry and it has provided me some comfort that I am not the only one who has felt this way before. I'm trying really hard to not have a full blown panic attack right now. Basically, at the beginning of May, I was with one guy. I did not have sex with him (nor have I had sex before), but instead other ~things~ were done. I will not get into details because there could be young people reading these threads. Here are the good things: From May until right now I haven't gotten sick (not even a cold), I haven't had dramatic weight loss, and I do not run a fever, I haven't had skin rashes, my body hasn't ached all over, and while I do love my naps...I don't recall ever feeling lethargic even after a full day of activity. The bad things: the swollen lump fear has now come back to haunt me, and now instead of attaching this thought to lymphoma, I'm attaching it to HIV. My doctor also told me my tonsils felt enlarged 2 weeks ago. I had a bad UTI and yeast infection about 2 weeks after my time with him, but that was taken care of and I don't believe I've had one since (I blamed it on the scented pads I used for monthly cycle...never again!!!!). I also see that oral thrush is a thing, and now I'm questioning if my tongue looks white or not. I've also had this semi dry cough, that has improved, but is still lingering (I'm not sick though). Now I know a simple solution is to get tested, but I don't even want to because of how fearful I am. I'm not sure if I trust drugstore kits either. I also am not sure how to get tested without my family knowing. What I also know is that so much time has passed (nearly 8 months), and I think that can count for something. But I also know in some cases HIV can remained undetected for years. The guy I was with doesn't seem like the type to be in a situation where he would be exposed to this virus and certainly he is all about his health (he lifts weights and is on some kind of muscle journey lol). And yes I know that looks don't determine someone's HIV status. I feel very stupid writing this post but maybe someone will verbally slap some sense into me and tell me I'm fine
  9. While I'm still battling my own health anxiety demons, these are some things that I've done that have helped me calm down during a full blown attack. It may not be much but maybe this can be a reminder to those who need it. 1) Walk. Take a very long walk. Listen to some calming music and just walk. (Obviously mind your surroundings) 2) Meditate. There are some good meditation videos on youtube, even 10 minute ones, that talk you through your thoughts and tell you to let them go. 3) With your eyes closed, lie on your back with your knees bent and breathe deeply. Or sit in a comfortable position. While doing this, pick out a few sounds you can hear and just listen. This will help ground you to reality. 4) Read a happy book. I find it helpful when I immerse myself into someone else's happy story so I can forget about my fears for a while. This can be done with movies or TV shows. 5) Write it down. I've never kept a journal before, but I just started. I write exactly what I'm thinking and exactly how I feel about it. At the end of every journal, I write "I AM OKAY" in large font. Writing down your thoughts can help you put it into words if you feel like your mind is all jumbled up. Even if you think you sound awkward, you let the feelings out and that's what matters. It's also a great way to check your habits. 6) Take a shower, pamper yourself, and drink some chamomile tea. Buy a lavender scent diffuser or candle for your room. 7) The obvious one: GET OFF THE INTERNET. This one is something I'm still trying to master, because it's extremely hard. Google seems like a lifeline when it comes to health anxiety. You think googling is going to relieve your mind but it's not, it just makes it worse. Everything can be a fatal disease thanks to Google. I used to actually get mad when I saw websites telling you to put the phone down because I convinced myself that putting your phone down doesn't make the problem go away. When I first was able to put my phone down, I learned that the problem doesn't go away BUT I don't create new ones. Creating new ones pumps your mind even more. Eventually the problem you currently have will seem smaller than before when you don't Google things. Just give it time. I hope this will help even just ONE person, whoever it may be. These may seem so obvious but sometimes people need to be reminded to do the simple things. I was one of those people just a few days ago.
  10. I'm a 20 year old college student, and I think I can safely diagnose myself with health related anxiety. I was always one to worry about my physical health, and I'd always go to the doctor to put myself at ease. I handled it well before, but recently a friend my age died of cancer and it set off the ticking time bomb within me. First, I had an infected cyst under my arm. I convinced myself I had undiagnosed lymphoma. I went to 3 doctors, and they all told me that it was a minor infection. For some reason, I didn't believe them. I didn't believe them even though I was put on antibiotics and the infection and lump went away under my arm. On top of not believing them, I constantly check the internet and check my temperature for that short relieved assurance that I'm fine. Second, I have a minor cough that's accompanied by a tickle in my throat. I then convinced myself I had lung cancer or some sort of fatal disease in my heart or lungs. Went to the doctor and they told me I had a bunch of mucus in the back of my throat and it was a post nasal drip. Third, I started having back pain. Once again, searching the internet made me believe I had lung cancer or failing kidneys. In the back of my mind I knew it was from bad posture, but my body told me it was cancer. Now this week, I'm studying the nervous system and we covered several motor disorders. These include ALS, Parkinson's, Huntington's, and others. Now I've developed weakness in my legs and arms (they feel like jelly), and my hands are shaking a tiny bit. I have been constantly in a state of anxiety since the beginning of November, and this is most likely from anxiety, but I am CONVINCED I have ALS. I can hold a pen just fine, I'm not tripping over my feet, I was able to lift a 25 pound kettlebell in each individual hand, and I walked up and down 6 flight of stairs 3 times yesterday. My legs feel better, and my hands feel better, but are still shaky. Yet here I am. Because I am in such a state of anxiousness all day every day, I haven't been able to eat or study. I am crying nearly every other day. These are the thoughts that run through my mind as soon as I wake up in the morning up until I go to bed. I have avoided hearing or reading the words cancer, death, disease, etc. Every time I hear it, I go into panic mode and I nearly vomit. I'm even bothering my parents because I'm constantly calling them to ask for reassurance that I'm not fatally ill. I'm seeing someone about this when I come home from school, but I am desperate for medication that can help me be in a calmer state so I can deal with my anxiety better. I don't know how this works. Has anyone ever started feeling symptoms when they hear about a new disease? How have you guys coped with this? My goal in life is to work as a physical therapist in a hospital with patients with spinal cord injuries, amputated limbs, and other disabling problems. I can't do that if I can barely deal with my own health.
  11. A few months ago I was in a pretty serious relationship. The girl and I did everything together and I felt we had something special. Yeah there were times we argued like crazy and she made me feel like I wasn't good enough or just a bad person and this sparked my attacks daily or at least every time we would have a small argument. I would tell her what she was doing to me mentally and she talked to me like I was crazy. Her promises she made me and things she told made me believe she cared for me so I stayed. Some things had happened causing us to put a hold on the relationship...or so I thought. After we stopped talking for about a moth I found out through a third party she was with someone else and not just anyone her ex she always talked shit about. I tried so hard not to let it get to me but it hurts so bad. The last few days I've been at work she's walked in with her family and each time she has I have an extreme attack and I get afraid and I wish I could stop, love myself, and move on already and not let her hold me back.....
  12. Hello, I’m so glad that I found this group! Yesterday I was on the verge of committing myself because Im still trying to get a diagnosis. I’ve had approximately 6 therapist in the last 10 years and I’m convinced that nobody really wants to help unless you demand it. It’s not enough that they are getting paid, they also have to be nudged along to do their job thoroughly. I saw my therapist on Tuesday and opened up to her about some of my thoughts. She said that she would email me exercises for my current struggle with anxiety (rumination), I waited until Thursday before I emailed her to let her know that I never received the email. She responded back that school closed early and she had to get her children and she would send it the next morning, Here we are almost Sunday and still no email. My next appointment is Tuesday..... I plan on letting her have a piece of my mind when i get there. Im feeling a little better today. I was able to find my old psychiatrist from 10 years ago. I stopped going to her because she moved over an hour away but she’s now back at her old office from what I can see online. I left a message. Hopefully I hear something soon. Im ready to go back on meds.... Background Long story short, I remember being a small child and thinking I caused a car accident because I fell alseep while my mom was driving. See, my mom drove the car but I helped by pushing the imaginary petals in the back seat (I did this every time we went for a drive) I was riddled with guilt thinking that i had cause the accident. I thought about it obsessively. I cried.... but didn’t tell my mom because I was scared that she would be mad. That’s my first memory of rumination..... the first of many. As I get older its increasingly harder to distract myself as I did when I was a kid. Im a semi newly divorce mom (2 years this coming March) and Im lonely because I can’t date...... I mean who would want to deal with this ocd baggage. Im a nice looking woman, Exotic looking from what Ive been told but Im petrified to get close to anyone for fear of them finding out my deepest secret. Im 40 but look much younger thanks to my parents who seem to have made a deal with the devil to look much younger too. My dad is 69 and he has only a few grey hairs and not one visible wrinkle. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia before I was born..... Vietnam war vet..... what a gene cocktail. To my knowledge he’s never taken meds but was medically discharged from the army with that diagnosis. We dont talk about it because he claims he faked it to get out of the army but everyone knows that’s not the truth. We just grin and bare it. Some of my ruminations and oddities … My health is always the Pink Elephant in the OCD room, however I’m not ready to be specific about that just yet.... My children.... I fear them being sexually abused... it’s hard to not think about it when they are out of my presence. This is where I stop..... My food just came.... Im down to one small meal a day (usually in the evening so I can sleep comfortably). I skipped a couple of days of eating since last Tuesday. This is my body’s response to my anxiety. I need too loose weight anyway so Im not too worried yet. I haven’t felt this bad in almost 10 years. Im mad at myself for returning back to this………… for not being strong.... It was easier to distract myself before but now my kids are teenagers and Im now single and alone.
  13. This happened after I just woke up, I leaned up and was on my phone for about 10 mins or so and then I had something that felt like a heart palpation but it was more like a reallt big increase in heart speed for like 8 to 10 seconds and then it went away, which chest pain around my heart area began to surface? I know I got anxiety that's for sure but why did this happen to me? Why now.
  14. Does anyone else get rapid eye movements they cant control with issues speaking and a side of confusion? It always makes me think I have something much worse than anxiety ?
  15. I made an account on this site because I don’t really have anyone else to talk to. I’ve been struggling with Anxiety since I was about 14 but what I’m experiencing now at 20 is a world of its own. I feel like I’m going to burst out of my head or that my brain is just going to come out of my skull, it’s not a physical thing like a headache or something, just a fear I have and this weird feeling of it going to happen. I am absolutely terrified of death and terrified of losing my memory or not knowing who I am. Lately I’m just on autopilot doing things I’d usually do like go to work, talk to my friends but in my head there’s a constant battle. I feel like I may have depersonalisation, because I lose sense of my reality frequently, I don’t know what we as humans are, what we’re made of, how we see, the way we exist. It gets so bad that I’m afaraid of sleeping because I think i’ll Die in my sleep. Does anyone else feel this way? Is there a way I could explain this to my doctor without sounding completey crazy.
  16. Pulmonary Hypertension is diagnosed with an mpap of 25 and up (as measured by RHC.) My estimated MPAP on my echocardiogram was 25. Since the rest of my heart is normal the cardiologist says I don't have pulmonary hypertension. I tried asking her to explain why I'm normal and she just said this is a single estimate at one point in time and that they must look at the whole heart and symptoms in order to diagnose. But she also said the estimate was pretty accurate. To note I feel fine, I went in because of shortness of breath on planes, occasionally while sleeping and a few times from laughing. I can walk far with no problems,I am female and a young adult. Online I read about echocardiogram pulmonary pressure accuracy which has many contradicting studies. Some say echo is too unreliable and may over and under estimate pulmonary artery pressures. Sometimes the articles will say that echo can overestimate RVSP by as much as 10+- mmhg. I read that the RAP which is used to get the final pressures, can be over estimated causing inaccuracy. However most websites with the over and underestimation quote one or two of the same studies so I question their legitimacy. Other websites with different studies quoted say it's like 80-90% accurate. Basically I've seen ranges of like 50 to 90%+ accuracy and I don't know who to believe. My cardiologist did say I'm normal... But I'm so bothered by her saying my estimate is likely accurate. How is that normal??? Here is my echo report in summary: MPAP was estimated to be 25 mmhg.My left,right heart were normal size and thickness. Vena cava was normal Respiratory variation at >50% with RAP 5-10 mmhg. All my valve flow patterns were normal. Trace regurgitation of the Tricuspid valve and trace to mild in the Pulmonary valve. Noted no evidence of diastolic dysfunction. I don't know what to believe and it's scaring me. I wake up everyday feeling panic. It's like a habit at this point. Then I Google 3 hours trying to convince myself it will be ok. I feel mentally ill and sad. I tried and can't get a second opinion. What should I do? Do I need to just accept what my cardiologist said and live my life? I was afraid of flying and having kids because of this and both are part of my life goals.
  17. Hi! I'm a college student who has been dealing with ADHD, anxiety, and depression for many years. In the last couple years, I began to exhibit symptoms of excessive daytime sleepiness, in a way that is very characteristic of narcolepsy without cataplexy. However, getting any answers in finding a diagnosis of what is causing my sleep issues has been difficult, and it may be a year or more before I am able to even try again to get answers. I'm currently feeling quite a bit alone in my struggles with sleep issues, and this is exacerbated by my anxiety. Hoping to find some common ground among others here!
  18. I have never been in a relationship before and I am getting into one now. I’ve been talking a guy for a good time now and we went on our first date. Through all of that I was fine. I wasn’t getting any panic attacks but now, the guy wants to go on a second date and as we’re planning I’m starting to get a panic attack. I wanna tell him that I can’t do this but I really do want to. It’s just not fun when you can’t agree to something you want to do because of something you don’t understand. I have no idea how to get through this situation. Should I tell him I can’t do the date cause it overwhelms me too much??
  19. I've been building great stress from putting off this important introduction of myself with the lingering fear that my existence along with any activity it could incite will ultimately be ignored and scoffed upon-- all weekend I've craved badly to simply put together a detailed greeting for myself here as well as for anxietysocialnet, and so here we are Sunday evening 7pm and I'm now pushing myself out there.. My name is Ashley, I'm in my late twenties currently residing in NYS. I live with ADHD, Anxiety, Major Depressive, Panic, PTSD, Social Anxiety/Agoraphobia, Body Dismorphic: Bulimia/Anorexia Nervosa, Self Harm: Dermatillomania/(Recovering cutter). Currently, now I'm exploring the diagnosis of Acute Stress Disorder as a whole new self born nexus inside me that has been fueled by existing traumatic stresses and events that have gone without emotional self feedback resulting sadly in much more than depersonalization.. Anyway, there's a bit into my mental health diagnostic list, it's been quite fascinating. As for enduring all that has gotten me there is a deeper complexity. If I were reading this it would help me to know that I grew up engulfed in violence and emotional abuse within my family life and I haven't been able to get away from it fully. I'm still being abused and I feel weaker than I felt 15 years ago. I have suffered the trauma of **** and years of unrelated domestic abuse from a former partner, not of which I wish to go into right now though.. However, I cannot seem to let myself trust anyone at all anymore, not anyone new.. If a conversation keeps going with a new potential friend, they message me for a few days and I feel more and more uncomfortable that I wind up feeling fearful of my phone as a whole and it's really a terrible feeling. I want to enjoy new people. I really need people in my life, but of course I question why would someone try so hard with someone whose this damaged? That they'd absolutely be better off and without complication if they found someone off a social media site or something rather than a fellow broken nerdy girl you happen to see at a computer repair store.. I do over analyze motive but I never want to be hurt again by someone I've willingly let into my life. I have never been this alone as I am now. I don't know if I "pushed" or "scared" friends away in the past as I have so many embarrassing gaps in my memory that I cannot seem to unlock, but I can remember manic episodes and a few people just walking away when all I needed was a reminder that my panicking would pass.. The kind of people who walk away instead of fight to keep something worth while even if it might be a risk aren't meant to be. They aren't wired to understand in capacity how to unconditionally care for whatever kind of challenge I am. So I keep anything and anyone as far as possible. Most of the people I grew up with very close to have overdosed or committed s****de. The thoughts that run through my mind about starting over with new is overly perplexing. My home life is inconsistent as I had agreed to live with my mother to avoid being homeless after my mental states were worsening. I didn't know I was signing on to take care of her mothers estate as well as be a literal punching bag when she runs out of pills, or money, and drinks too much cough syrup but how stupid of me to forget what it was like to live with her. I can handle the responsibility of that which she cannot in regards to her own moms affairs, but her hate for me runs so deep for trying to keep this house above water and not give her access to money that isn't hers that she's formed a resentment I've never seen in her before. The alcohol and over medication has made this blindsided jealousy of hers quite malicious. A 230 lb child, brooding at the kitchen table for hours knowing you'll eventually really want to make some coffee. She'll bait you with insults of personal inadequacies and try to incite a hurtful dialogue in which she hopes will lead to violence. I feel so numb I can't play the game any longer and it's really effecting my existing fears and anxieties that involve home. I listen to the painful moaning of my messed up mother throughout every day into the night and I'm almost positive she's ready to die. The mumbling of the insane about the failures of the past echoes in the hallway. I'm noticing a new void that's never been present and I'm not certain if I want to be acquainted with it.. Every moment I'm awake I'm shaky and ready to jump. My medicines don't seem to be working too effectively anymore. When I think I'm going to cry I don't and then I shed a few tears at a random moment. My breathing is erratic and my exercises aren't calming down the discomfort in my chest. I think of packing my backpack and going to the closest park for the night and just sleeping there but I'm still working on taking out the garbage every week and walk to the corner store without breaking into panic.. I used to escape easily in my video games but I'm losing interest in them as if they were awful work that had deadlines with zero enjoyment only bringing upon stress and upsetting me and those I'm working with, I can still try but I'm not certain how to get myself back to where I'm not jumping out of my skin every second like this.. I'm starting to find a small escape in the backyard every evening, spending most of the hours pouring myself into my writing which is actually taking me a noticeably longer time than normal on each piece, usually trailing with my mind spinning, and then I suppose I'm glad to find myself outside amongst the wind.. So thanks for reading a bit of my personal madness, it took effort to let myself put this out here but I'm really at a point where I'm unsure of what to do with absolutely no support and screaming for some form of caring direction.. I'm working on communication and I will return messages.. Thank you to this group for the support as well as the invite to be here Ashley
  20. Hello. I need help with my anxiety. I don't want to take any medications anymore. I don't know how many times I've been to the doctors and hospitals for the last 15 years and it's getting worse. I've already thrown out all medications except 1 that I will use once or twice a week but I don't want to anymore. It's becoming almost impossible for me to stop having anxiety and panic attacks. I get so sick that I can't even leave my room or allot of times I don't want to even leave my own bed. Going out to go grocery shopping or other simple tasks as this are a nightmare to me. And then I become so paranoid & fear kicks in, then my anxiety becomes very high spiked within 2-3 seconds and takes hours or days to yet and stop workout medication. I'm throwing away the rest of the medication. I want to do this on my own. Please help me? I wasn't raised to be like this. There is allot I have to deal with that are major changes from my past, present and future that are hugely effecting me. I'm freaking out about all of it to where my entire body, internal senses and everything else just freeze, cramp up, I can't breathe, I can't think to breathe because I'm freaking out bad at not knowing what's going to happen next in that moment or the future. Does anyone have an good advice that I can try. I've never asked for help like this before. Thank you so much. ?Behealthy ❤️
  21. Hi, Everyone! Just discovered this place. Looking forward to chatting and supporting other members. I have had mental illness for most of my life and am on disability because of it. Between emotional and physical pain (not to mention "horrormones"), I have quite the challenge of navigating through life. I have figured out a lot, however, through the help of my psychiatrist, my therapist, and my medications. I feel I take too many medications, however and would like to talk about that, as well as other issues. I am an artist working in all kinds of media, and when I am working I am in my happy place. Art and crafting has literally saved my life. Looking forward to meeting you!
  22. Sorry, this post may be lacking in structure, but I have so much to get off my chest!! Dx I'm a 21 year old female. Over the past winter I had gotten over a mild case of pneumonia that lasted for about a month and a half, and ever since I'd gotten over it I felt fine aside from the fact that I've had a preoccupation with my breathing (which I was just told I also have sensorimotor OCD, as I also have ruminations with other things that will take too long to explain) and now I have absolutely no idea if my mind is simply catastrophizing the situation and making it much worse than it actually is or if I'm actually getting sick again. This isn't really new for me, but I sometimes can't help thinking that my predictions must be true. I am beginning to despise AND fear living inside of my mind because regardless of how I am able to get over one thing, a new thought introduces itself and creates room for more ruminations, therefore causing a panic attack to occur. I just wish I knew if my symptoms were psychosomatic and not actually real. I've been so focused on breathing that I think I am overdoing it and causing my back to go sore, and each time I feel one small difference in the way I breathe my heart starts to pound and I panic. That just makes me think, gee, if I have problems breathing then it must be serious... I always worry that an illness will attack my lungs and prevent me from living my life the way I want to (I would love to travel, sight see and pursue music). I absolutely hate it and just need a little bit of support in the mean time....thanks in advance :3
  23. I have recently been going crazy thinking i have melanoma. i have some moles but they are all little except for one on my face but i eventually stopped stressing over that one because i realized its normal. i just saw another one, well i think it’s a mole and i’m freaking out now. i have an appointment with my derm but it’s in a week and it’s hard waiting that long. googling pictures of normal moles is so hard and when i google ones of cancer they are so advanced. i’m freaking out not knowing if what i found is normal or not. i’m also new to this site so sorry if this is to long.
  24. I can't stay home during the day without having servere anxiety. I'm a SAHM of a four year old. I know it's not fair to him that I'm constantly finding ways to justiy not spending the day at home but I just can't seem to do it. Currently I bring my husband to work in the morning around 6:30am. If I went right home I'd be back around 8:00am. Instead of going home I'll go to my mothers, shopping, driving. I'll Google things to do just far enough away that I won't have time to go home until my husband gets out of work. I have no problem being home at night/once it gets dark. Being alone doesn't seem to be the problem. I don't want to regardless of whether he's home during the day or I'm alone. I'm also fine being home alone at night. I've put blackout curtains on all of my windows so when I do have to be there during the day it's more tolerable. Even the thought of being there all day makes me anxious and my heart start to race. I'm currently pregnant and I know I'll have to start staying home more. I'm having a hard time thinking about that as well. Any suggestions on why I'm feeling this way and how to manage it?
  25. I have had diagnosed mitral valve prolapse(MVP) for nearly a decade. It is mild and not ever going to be dangerous. However, it along with anxiety does cause my palpitations to be worse and I also get bouts of SVT, which is when my heart feels like its beating really fast and shallow. The SVT doesn't occur very often, but when it does, it REALLY scares me. It lasts anywhere from 2-15 seconds. I've done countless 24 hour monitors, a 30 day monitor, treadmill tests, ECHOs, and it never has shown up, of course. But, It definitely happens. My cardiologist has said maybe a beta blocker might help, or ablation if it gets frequent and worse. I'm very worried about taking a BB because my blood pressure stays pretty low 105/65 or sometimes even lower. I don't feel like I need to lower my blood pressure anymore or I will be passing out! And beta blockers lower blood pressure. I definitely don't want to do any sort of ablation surgery when it's not that bad, and the doctor doesn't think I need that right now, either. But, she has mentioned it. What do you guys think? I've really mulled over the beta blocker. It has some concerning side effects I'm not sure I want to deal with. I'm not sure what's worse, the occasional SVT or the BB side effects. And I'm not even sure the BB will "CURE" the SVT.