Sorry, this post may be lacking in structure, but I have so much to get off my chest!! Dx
I'm a 21 year old female. Over the past winter I had gotten over a mild case of pneumonia that lasted for about a month and a half, and ever since I'd gotten over it I felt fine aside from the fact that I've had a preoccupation with my breathing (which I was just told I also have sensorimotor OCD, as I also have ruminations with other things that will take too long to explain) and now I have absolutely no idea if my mind is simply catastrophizing the situation and making it much worse than it actually is or if I'm actually getting sick again. This isn't really new for me, but I sometimes can't help thinking that my predictions must be true. I am beginning to despise AND fear living inside of my mind because regardless of how I am able to get over one thing, a new thought introduces itself and creates room for more ruminations, therefore causing a panic attack to occur. I just wish I knew if my symptoms were psychosomatic and not actually real. I've been so focused on breathing that I think I am overdoing it and causing my back to go sore, and each time I feel one small difference in the way I breathe my heart starts to pound and I panic. That just makes me think, gee, if I have problems breathing then it must be serious... I always worry that an illness will attack my lungs and prevent me from living my life the way I want to (I would love to travel, sight see and pursue music).
I absolutely hate it and just need a little bit of support in the mean time....thanks in advance :3