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About Tbaldwin7

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  1. This really made me think because I am in a super stressful time in my life, ive been trying to reach my dream goal to no avail my girlfriends family are literally a pain in my ass which is pretty close to being resolved, but my exercise is more of digging a hole or carrying heavy stuff around work im guessing i need real exercise, but it hasnt been the best year and a half for me, this just adds on to everything, ive suspected that I'm super stressed out but im a push forward type of guy and forget the pain, maybe i need to focus on living a better life and to focus on being "healthy" mostly dont let family issues struggle me so much as they are terrible at the moment but like I said will resolve soon, I appreciate it, really opened my eyes a bit!
  2. My depersonilization if this is what it is, is beating me. Its winning so bad. I'm tired and exhausted...I want it to stop and go Ive had depersonilization so long ago and it went away I guess or I forgot about it and then 5 months ago it came back harder and stronger I LITERALLLYYY feel like I'm not in control of my body any more, my thoughts anything its like im gone, I find myself questioning existence as a whole which makes it worst, I'm constantly thinking about existence but the main main issue is feeling like I dont control any aspect of me anymore I wonder when im doing things where "I" have gone, it seems I'm watching through glass qnd someone has the controller and I hate it so bad, ive tried exersize ive tried everything none of it has helped so far, ive did gardening as a hobby etc everything ive tried doesnt work, even talking itself doesnt feel like me, it feels like someone asks me a question and then words come out pf my mouth as a reply I didn't think it or anything it just comes...
  3. Its been a while a long time since I posted on here, for a while I was just fighting this my self. Just going with the flow, but lately maybe a months or two ive felt my depersonilization getting worse and worse, I'm starting to completely feel like I'm losing myself, like I am fading away and someone else is taking over (which was my fear feeling this way) sometimes I talk and sit there and think did I just say something? Or i talk and didn't remember I did at all, my feelings are fading away, sensations on my skin are feeling dull and numb as if I cant really feel much, I question reality and everything as if, I feel so far gone that I will never come back, it feels as if someone else has already got me. My thoughts arnt mine. My actions. Anything.
  4. Ive had this feeling super super extreme, that I'm slowly losing control of my body, and thoughts, it feels as if its getting worse and worse, can depersonilization really get this extreme, i thought it was bad enough already, but this. This is a new level.(my anxiety seems to be super amped at the moment and I cant go back to sleep, which usually doesnt happen when ive been feeling like this) talking is even just as bad, i even sometimes mess up my words alot.
  5. Thanks both! Will defiently set up a routine!
  6. So its obvious I have anxiety and alot of issues by looking at my posts, i also have super bad depersonilization and constantly feel like im losing my body, i get anxiety spikes when I feel like im not in control of it (which happens alot) i feel stressed also, not sure if I am but ive read alot of contradicting articles saying that exercise while stressed or with mental health issues is bad for you and some saying its the best thing, what do y'all think, has anyone had exercise help you ger through troubling times?
  7. Same thing here!!! My body is doing it as well, i went to google to look for answers and found nothing! Glad to find it here! We are both fine!😃
  8. I guess my time is a little off its felt like a long time from that moment! But its for sure hard to comeback from a thought like that! Im for sure going to be getting help so that it doesn't happen again.
  9. Ive been doing pretty fine the past few days now, ive never experienced a intrusive thought so real it was minor at the time, but thats all it is is a intrusive thought and I will accept it as such, ive been smiling and laughing again, and life is getting easier as now, ive researched it alot from when I posted this to now, and I know everyone around me will be safe, my parents know and my girlfriend do as well, I have therapy in a couple of days to talk to her about my next step into trying to battle and end these pure o thoughts! Thank you all for your help!
  10. It happens to me too! Alot more lately! But I will for sure!
  11. Thanks! My gun is now in safe keeping of my mother! And have therapy next Tuesday! It gets easier and hard sometimes but im hoping to recover.
  12. I gave my mom my ammo and stuff so that is out of the picture, but I go to therpy next tuesday boy is she in for a treat 😂
  13. Its most likely I made a topic and couldn't find it, im new to this forum stuff but none taken, i do go to therapy and have it next week, its just having anxiety and now this stuff which is new ive never had intrusive thoughts before, ive tried to help people my whole life and now my brain wants to kill them (which is so so weird) but ill try to find my other post and see what you said as well
  14. Thanks! Ever since my terrible urge and thought...days have been hard. Worrying that I'm going to lose control and hurt someone...and here I thought it couldn't get worse lol