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  1. Hello people! Being someone who struggled with Anxiety and made considerable progress in recovery, I have decided to try and help other people dealing with the same(or similar) issue. My idea is to motivate people to consistently take action in the right direction. This might be: eating better food, exercising, practicing mindfulness, etc.. I would like to achieve that by hosting a couple of online meetings or simply by text. An important note is that I'm neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. However, i have dealt with Anxiety and I know the struggle.The prime focus during the online meetings will be on what were the things that truly helped me manage and gradually recover from it. With the hopes that these things will also help you. If you are interested, reply in this thread or just send me a DM:))
  2. Hi So I came out about my story a while ago on another forum that I lost because I'm a big idiot. However, I do need advice. I'm 17 years old, and I have a lot of symptoms of anxiety. I had a therapist some time ago but she didn't believe in diagnosis. She gave me the "you likely have GAD/Depression" spew and then my guardian pulled me. I haven't been allowed to get help since. That was 2017 in December and my anxiety has been on the fastest moving slide downwards. My symptoms used to purely be mental, I'd ruminate for hours, I might get shaky and paranoid, I'd have panic attacks every so often. After I was pulled and a confrontation occurred, it's gotten worse. I shake day in and day out depending on how stressed I am, I get dizzy frequently, I disassociate often. Every day my body is constantly tense. It's to the point where if I sit still for too long my whole body hurts, and when I stretch my bones and joints pop (the same way it does when you crack your knuckles). Recently, it's gotten even worse with me getting the head zappy symptom. My school offers free professional counseling at this place nearby, but I need to be 18 to sign my papers. I don't know if I'll even last that long;;; it feels like a forever wait and it's 20 days away. Does anyone have any good coping techniques I can use to wait it out???? I can't stand these pains and symptoms.
  3. So about a month ago I had a severe migraine for a week after drink sake I had to go in on mri on my head which sent me into scare do I have tumor and then after I was clear I went back home for some reason all bummed out and then we went to casino for my 21rst bday with my dad and all of sudden my arm feels heavy and then I go to sleep the next morning I got fascinations out of no where so I just search wtf and comes als and ever since that day a month ago I’ve been feeling it rn my arm feels like it’s buring and my leg both on right side and still getting random twitting everywhere it’s ridculos I’m in crazy pain rn I have no idea and I’ve been 2 3 doctors about it they said stop looking up symptoms but rn my fricking right side just hurts so much
  4. Hello, I’m so glad that I found this group! Yesterday I was on the verge of committing myself because Im still trying to get a diagnosis. I’ve had approximately 6 therapist in the last 10 years and I’m convinced that nobody really wants to help unless you demand it. It’s not enough that they are getting paid, they also have to be nudged along to do their job thoroughly. I saw my therapist on Tuesday and opened up to her about some of my thoughts. She said that she would email me exercises for my current struggle with anxiety (rumination), I waited until Thursday before I emailed her to let her know that I never received the email. She responded back that school closed early and she had to get her children and she would send it the next morning, Here we are almost Sunday and still no email. My next appointment is Tuesday..... I plan on letting her have a piece of my mind when i get there. Im feeling a little better today. I was able to find my old psychiatrist from 10 years ago. I stopped going to her because she moved over an hour away but she’s now back at her old office from what I can see online. I left a message. Hopefully I hear something soon. Im ready to go back on meds.... Background Long story short, I remember being a small child and thinking I caused a car accident because I fell alseep while my mom was driving. See, my mom drove the car but I helped by pushing the imaginary petals in the back seat (I did this every time we went for a drive) I was riddled with guilt thinking that i had cause the accident. I thought about it obsessively. I cried.... but didn’t tell my mom because I was scared that she would be mad. That’s my first memory of rumination..... the first of many. As I get older its increasingly harder to distract myself as I did when I was a kid. Im a semi newly divorce mom (2 years this coming March) and Im lonely because I can’t date...... I mean who would want to deal with this ocd baggage. Im a nice looking woman, Exotic looking from what Ive been told but Im petrified to get close to anyone for fear of them finding out my deepest secret. Im 40 but look much younger thanks to my parents who seem to have made a deal with the devil to look much younger too. My dad is 69 and he has only a few grey hairs and not one visible wrinkle. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia before I was born..... Vietnam war vet..... what a gene cocktail. To my knowledge he’s never taken meds but was medically discharged from the army with that diagnosis. We dont talk about it because he claims he faked it to get out of the army but everyone knows that’s not the truth. We just grin and bare it. Some of my ruminations and oddities … My health is always the Pink Elephant in the OCD room, however I’m not ready to be specific about that just yet.... My children.... I fear them being sexually abused... it’s hard to not think about it when they are out of my presence. This is where I stop..... My food just came.... Im down to one small meal a day (usually in the evening so I can sleep comfortably). I skipped a couple of days of eating since last Tuesday. This is my body’s response to my anxiety. I need too loose weight anyway so Im not too worried yet. I haven’t felt this bad in almost 10 years. Im mad at myself for returning back to this………… for not being strong.... It was easier to distract myself before but now my kids are teenagers and Im now single and alone.
  5. So ive had this thought for a long long time, I know people with schrizophrenia feel detached from reality sometimes, which I always am, they sometimes hear voices or see things that arnt there, which I do (mostly see stuff buts its for like .1 or .2 of a second before I realize it was nothing) also not so much on the hearing, its rare, mostely when I'm focused on trying to hear something, if anyone has read my previous posts, you would know I got some serious serious health anxiety! Ive had a brain scan cause i thought I had a turmor one time about 2 months ago and nothing came back same as blood test, but I read a post someone made on another website about what he felt like and how it matcbes me somewhat, it scared me how he had raging episodes and it scares me what if i do have it and it happens to me! ?
  6. I have bad depersonilization, i was on facebook and i read my name and it felt like it wasn't even mine, kinda like I didnt even recognize it, it scared me really bad and my anxiety spiked up, is this normal to see my name as not mine, ive had minimum sleep these past days as well if that doesnt help, but ive felt really outside myself lately, and then this happens.
  7. I have never been in a relationship before and I am getting into one now. I’ve been talking a guy for a good time now and we went on our first date. Through all of that I was fine. I wasn’t getting any panic attacks but now, the guy wants to go on a second date and as we’re planning I’m starting to get a panic attack. I wanna tell him that I can’t do this but I really do want to. It’s just not fun when you can’t agree to something you want to do because of something you don’t understand. I have no idea how to get through this situation. Should I tell him I can’t do the date cause it overwhelms me too much??
  8. I feel like I'm losing my mind.....For starters allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jim and I'm new here, I'm 47 years old and I live in the panhandle of Florida. On top of this I have a lot of my plate right now. My life is just not going the way I want it to at this point. That is another subject entirely. I'm like an open book so I have no problem discussing myself and what is happening. I have never had anxiety or a panic attack in my life, but that hd changed just a few nights ago. I had a severe panic attack. I felt like I could not even breathe. I was in the emergency Room twice that night an each time they checked me out and told me I was fine. I drove myself he 2nd time and told my wife to stay an get some sleep because she had to work the next day, she knew I had trouble breathing. She wanted to go with me the the emergency room but I knew she could not miss work and it was already 1 A.M. ..... so once again they told me I was fine and sent me home with 2 adivan's AKA lorazapam and a script of 10....I got home and my wife was awake.I took the adivan when I got home, I tried to lay down bit in out bedroom I felt very clausterphobic. I went in to the living room, I could not relax, so I went outside for a minute then back inside to the living room. I did this a few times and my wife ended up having me lay on her lap while she rubbed my back.Evdentually I fell asleep but I had been up for 2 days as well, so I don't know if the adivan or if it was that I was just so exausted. The next day I woke up in my bed, I don't even remember moving in to there...... It has been a few days, now I have anxiety every single day, well it has only been a couple days but now I'm scared of dying. I used to be a caregiver and I took care of patients that were terminally ill. So i watched many people die and the truth is people do not die peacefully. Hospice loads them full of drugs and when you get right down to it, even though they are on pain medication they end up gasping for their last breathe. Now that is all I can think about. Then I think to myself since they can't tell us the amount of pain that they are in, are they really pain free.....I start to think about this and it totally freaks me out. Since I'm 47 years old and a diabetic I worry. I hear how diabetics do not live as long as normal people and I have never really taken care of myself and eat what I should. On top of everything I have neurapathy from diabetes which i'm sure because I have never eaten like I should of been, so I have this total fear that the majority of my life i over. I start to think about how people at the end of their live gasp for their last breathe, Do thdey know what is going on? Are they really free of pain? In fact I googled this just lat week and I read how 90% of people who die are pain-free but what about the other 10%? I'm extremely scared of being in the situation where I'm gasping for my last breathe. Hoe can I enjoy life from here on? Especially when I know what will happen at the end of my life. When I say how scared iam, words do not even express the extent of how scared I really am......I have never really thought about death until now....and now this is all I can think about. I have not taken an adivan since that first night, I hear hows tired it makes you so I don't even know if it is suitable to take during the day. I hurt y back once and they gave me a muscle relaxer and it put me to sleep so I'm thinking an adivan will put me to sleep too.....i just don't know what to do..... I have heard of people who have severe anxiety who commit s****de and I can understand why they would do this, now let me make it perfectly clear, I would never ever do that, but I can understand why someone would do so, all because they can't cope.....Like I said I just don't know what to do.....I'm just so scared. Plus I'm not sure If I mentioned this or not but being a diabetic, diabetics live less amount of years than most plus I have not eaten Like I'm supposed to, so I'm sure that takes even more years off my life.....I have eaten bad and then I just take insulin to keep my blood sugar I would eat, cake or candy, or a big plate of spagetti nd then inject how much ever insulin I needed. ....I'm going to the gtocery store this weekend and I have been looking on the internet for recipes because i'm going to start eating low carb meals with lots of chicken and pork and very much so limit my sweet intake, but at 47 I hope it's not too late, but after 27 years of eating junk....anyway I'm going to start to eat better and get more exercise......I will do my best from here on.....because of my neaurapathy I go thru lot of pain which I'm on pain killers and have been for 3 years solid now and that too takes a toll on your organs.....I'm just scared of dying, more so than words can even describe....I just with there was someone who could save me
  9. Hi everyone i hope you're doing well , can someone please help me i only need a good comparison or a way of thinking to get me move with my life ,a way of thinking that you could have thought of and i did not. i've always been happy my entire life , untill when i had a panick attack about almost 3 years ago , after that i got anxious and little depressed because they were new feelings for me.Happily , i did found my way since many many months ago , i faced and solved my problems , understood how to beat the anxiety trick (total life changment and re-gained my old happy confidednt self) The problem now is that we moved to a new house (me and my family) and it happened to be in the time where i was still traumatized and stuck in anxiety and bad feelings.The first 2 months that i lived in this NEW house , i was still in the worst part of my life. Just like a perfume that reminds someone of a bad breakup with a partner and he wants to get rid of it , same thing for me with this home.Even if had also many good moments , but THAT bad BEGINNING , i just couldnt forget it ,so i never accepted staying in this house. I explained to my parents this but they didnt accept to move from this house , and its been months since i did nothing new in my life , only waiting untill i move from here and then i start living the real life. => i think this way because i'm afraid and dont want to remember that the BEGINING of a NEW major event of my life took place in this house , and if i were to remember it in the future i would feel very bad if it happened in our old house i would totaly accept it and that's because it would have happened in the middle ,not at the BEGINNING of living in the house , just like life , sometimes we fall down in life and we continueall of that makes sense to me , my problem is because it happened at THE BEGINNING .this may seem stupid for you but it is very important and it effects me alot i only need a different way of thinking that would make sense to me . Can someone help me what to do or How to think diferently about this beginning obsession ,anyway to view this thing differently ?
  10. I told someone I met on Reddit about how much I worry about stuff on a regular basis (studies, relationships, how lonely I feel, as well as other stuff such as how I can't sleep sometimes and how I think I will die) and he introduced me to this site. He also said that I should get medical attention. I've told my SO about it and she's been really supportive. But I'm scared of telling it to my family. I recently got bad grades (average: 64% C) some people tell me it's not bad but it's not good for my parents. So I'm scared they'll just say that I'm using anxiety as an excuse for my poor grades. I just don't know what to tell them and how to tell them.
  11. Hello. I've had my own bouts of hypochondria, usually relating to things like cancer (brain, pancreatic, breast) and ALS/vCJD, and I was wondering, is it normal/does anyone else here ever get hypochondria relating to those around you? Recently my hypochondria has come back over my parents, specifically my mom. I've gotten really concerned recently over the thought that she could possibly have cancer (brain cancer) or something along those lines. I don't really have anything to back me up, because she's acting as she usually does and is acting perfectly fine, but I'm still, for some reason, incredibly afraid of this possibility. In my last bout of hypochondria I had something happen like this for a while too, but I'm still feeling really anxious about this today. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this?
  12. Hi all, I'd really appreciate any advice on the following... I've suffered with anxiety (mainly social) on and off for as long as I can remember. I've seeked different Drs help numerous occasions but hadn't ever found a Dr I was comfortable with or who I felt actually understood me - most of them just made me feel stupid, so I just struggled on. February just gone I felt my anxiety getting very bad, so I tried a new Drs surgery and the man was amazing! He gave me paroxetine tablets and a number to call for therapy. I am on a waiting list to see a Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner. I gave it two weeks, still going in to work but I was getting worse. Beginning of March I was signed off for 2 weeks and he increased my dose. I returned to my Dr and was signed off for another 2 weeks... I have 4 days left on this sick note. It will have been a month by next Tuesday. Meanwhile, I contacted my work and suggested I go in for a catch up meeting to discuss 'options'. Just to see what there point of view is, to explain to them where I am, what I'm currently going through, maybe even to talk about setting me up to work from home. And to see what impact my absence is having... We have set a time for tomorrow (Friday). However, I asked if my boyfriend could sit in the meeting (who I live with and who has helped me no end through all of this). My team leader said 'HR feel it would not be appropriate as he is not an employee'. She then went on to say that 'it is just an informal catch up, there are no actions coming from this other than to see how you are doing, it is not a return to work meeting.' Surely if I proposed the meeting in the first place then it should be on my own terms? I would feel more comfortable with my boyfriend there for support and to help me if (or when) my words escape me... And if it's an informal chat then I don't see what the harm is? What's to stop me calling the meeting off and just contacting them after my next Drs appointment with an update? My team leader has been very understanding with all of this, and she is also quite a good friend of mine. I don't know if this makes my situation better or worse to be honest. I don't feel ready to return to work, at least until I have had my first therapy session... Or maybe even if I have been given an appointment date. I am currently feeling like I should request another note to cover a month. I was told today that it will be at least another 4 weeks until I see a therapist. I also want to suggest changing the reason on sick note from 'anxiety' to 'anxiety and depression'. Has anyone else had a similar experience, or can anybody advise on any of the points I've mentioned? Any help would be a huuuuuge help as at the moment I just feel confused and don't see what's for the best. PLEASE HELP
  13. Hi Everyone, I am a person that has suffered with anxiety for many years now. I have always been an anxious/worried person, even as a child, but I didn't begin experiencing full-blown panic attacks until I was involved in a serious car accident. I guess it could be called PTSD, but the panic attacks continued for several years after the accident and still occasionally happen today. I am wondering if anyone has experienced a similar evolution in their mental-health and would be open to sharing their story. I am trying to learn more about my panic disorder/generalized anxiety by understanding my predisposition to these disorders, as a naturally anxious person. If anyone is willing to share, I have some more specific questions to provide guidance: 1. When did you begin experiencing anxiety/panic disorder? How old were you and were there any specific circumstances that impacted you? 2. Did you experience any events/circumstances that were particularly traumatic that you believe might have contributed to/triggered your anxiety/panic/PTSD? 3. Would you describe yourself as a naturally anxious person? Do you recall being more worried about things (sickness/health, irrational fears, bad things happening) prior to the onset of your anxiety/panic disorder? 4. Did either of your parents or close relatives experience similar anxiety problems/mental-health disorders? Do you think you were impacted by them at all? I apologize if any of these questions are too personal, of course this is just a forum and I expect that anyone that doesn't want to answer/isn't comfortable won't. I feel that learning as much as I can about my mental-health and the nature of my "problems" is very helpful in understanding why I am this way and how I can help myself and others. I hope that maybe this can help some of you as well. I appreciate any responses/contribution, and I hope that maybe we can spark an insightful conversation here. Thank you! Ally
  14. So for the past week and a half I've been getting on and off pains and twinges throughout my head, usually in the forehead area and I can't stop thinking that its brain cancer or something bad like that. I'm really scared. I think I have a sinus infection like some other people on the forum said I probably do but I'm still constantly worrying about this. What should I do?
  15. I feel stupid for this, I really do, but at the same time I'm still incredibly worried with everything around me. I think I've fully relapsed back into my original hypochondriac feelings, that I have a brain tumor. I've been incredibly anxious for about a week as some of you know, and now I'm back to feeling that my death is soon and I have an incurable brain tumor. A few days ago I was worried that my Mom has one (I still am) but now I think I have one too. The symptoms that happened last time when I thought so have come back, headaches behind the eyes, weakness, being tired, etc. I need reassurance because I really do feel like I'm going to die in a few months and I don't know what to do. I'm panicking.
  16. Where do I start? I'm a first time user of any type of forum ever. Basic details as follows: male, mid 20's, registered nurse, anxiety since as long as I can remember with the worst being health related anxiety. The short version leading up to today: My wife left me in September which was a shock to me, I spent October in a deep depression, early November had a few episodes of SVT which I was hospitalized for and by mid November when I moved back in with my parents, all hell broke loose. I was having episodes of SVT almost daily and during those times I felt awful (near syncope, throat tight, short of breath, pounding heart of course, and dizziness/lightheadedness). It continued for a little bit but it eventually stopped bothering me once I realized I was triggering it with my anxiety. After that though, the dizziness continued on for a while. Actually the dizziness is still sort of there but not to the extreme it was at at all.So the second week of November I moved back in with my parents and that's when it all began. I felt as though I had a sinus infection of sorts within the first week of being here, but a weird one at that if that's even what it was. I had headaches everyday but not in the usual sinus regions and a constant pressure type feeling in my head. My ears were super full and my hearing was very muffled, it's still not all the way better but it's a far cry from what it was. Increased post nasal drip, etc. and what I can only describe as brain fog which isn't all the way better either but much better than where it started. I was forgetful and my short term memory sucked, that scared me the worst because I just didn't feel like myself but at this point my mental clarity is coming back. I would also get these weird shots of tingling with lightheadeness and the tingling would happen anywhere in my body multiple times a day, a lot of it occurred on the left side of my head and face split right down the middle to the left which only lasted a few seconds and would fade, never true numbness. Those were most of my symptoms with that and some still persist, and now let's move on to present day. Probably the beginning of December I still had some of the aforementioned symptoms like the occasional dizziness and brain fog but now I started to have muscle twitches. At first it was just in my right calf with some in my left. Then it was both. Then it was my calves, thighs, and occasionally above my waist at random spots like my abdomen, some in my back, neck, face, tongue, eye. The twitching has died down a bit since it started which I guess? I'm going to attribute to starting to take magnesium and b12. That or it's a coincidence that it slowed during the time that I took those, idk. My muscles cramp and feel stiff as if I had been doing squats all day long and I hadn't done a thing. I remember having my girlfriend stretch out my foot one night because the arch of my foot got that bad. The cramping is now lesser but the stiffness is still there especially when I walk I can feel it in my calves mostly. When walking down stairs my legs tremble with every step. I have a more noticeable essential tremor in my hands especially my right. Now my right wrist to hand is very tight and my right hand feels very tight and not as limber as my left. My writing is becoming messy and weird things just keep happening in general. I've had a head and neck cta which was negative, brain MRI negative, past lumbar MRI years ago that showed I don't have a disc at L5-S1 with degeneration moving upward, chest ct negative, abdomen ct negative, echo good, ekg fine outside of isolated svt, basic blood work good. I recently saw my GP who thought the muscle stuff was electrolytes that were off but they were fine and laughed at me when I asked if it could be ALS saying "you can't think like that man, even if it was what can you do about it?" And that was it. Really comforting. Anyway, I'm depressed now because I know deep down that I don't have long left on this earth and I won't be able to live a full long life. I know that I'm going to die soon and it will be because I have ALS. All I do all day is drive myself crazy with reading about ALS and reading stories of it. Literally that's all I do I can't get myself to do anything else. Down time at work? Reading about ALS. Not with my girlfriend? Reading about ALS. Day off? You get the point. Looking for some encouraging words to help me through my last days here on earth although I know (or at least pretty much know based on odds) that I won't be dead tomorrow, but I am convinced fully that I only have a couple years left at best. Thanks for your time and understanding.
  17. Good morning! I suffer from anxiety since 18. I've already tried various methods of treatment, various doctors, but without success. Maybe, somebody knows any nonconventional ways of treatment?
  18. Hi everyone - I am overcoming my health anxiety and need some reassurance in order to help me. About a 7 weeks ago I started having mild daily headaches and was terrified I had a brain tumour. I also had terrible health anxiety which was horrible. I had classic anxiety symptoms such as dizziness and drowsiness and derealisation etc. I had my eyes examined and all came back fine! I also saw my school nurse (who is amazing) and she said that I do not have a brain tumour and it's my anxiety that I need to deal with. This made me feel a lot better, however I then went on to worry about things such as ALS, heart attack, leukaemia, lymphoma etc. And my mind was taken off the brain tumour symptoms and the headaches began to go!!!! However I have recently become fearful of them again as I have always had a LOT of floaters and only just started to notice them again and online it says floaters are a sign of brain tumours. But my eye test was 100% fine. I don't have headaches anymore and don't have seizures. I also am not nauseous and have not vomited in years. However what I have had is I have really not been feeling myself for about 3 months (since my anxiety about health started). I have a dazy headed feeling and feel like I am looking at the world more negatively compared to what I used to, I I feel like I focus on things too much out of my eyes to see if I'm looking at them positively. I also feel as though I am 'not always fully there' and have a very foggy head. Almost derealisation. So if you read all of this please give me reassurance that I don't have a brain tumour!!!!! Also how to deal with feeling in a daze and almost a sense of derealisation? Thank you and PLEASE give reassurance?!?!
  19. Hi, so I'm new here and I've read some posts talking about some of the same things that I've been experiencing and seeing as i regularly convince myself that I'm dying I figured it might do me some good to reach out. I'm 21 years old and i noticed recently that I've had some changes in my bowel habits ranging from constipation to passing more gas than usual (though i might just be hyper aware of my gas making it seem like more) but these symptoms seem to come and go as for the past couple of days I've been able to pass stool regularly and i haven't passed a significant amount of gas, but it could return, I don't know. Today i noticed little specks of red and black in my stool and it scared the hell out of me, and before i scare myself to much I'm wondering if they weren't caused by something i had eaten because I've recently eaten black beans, and green chili (which contains tomatoes). of course my fear is that i have colon c****r and of course i consulted Dr. Google (stupid idea, i know) considering my diet and the changes in my bowel habits being infrequent am i right in worrying myself? or am i freaking out about nothing? I apologize if talking about bowel habits comes across as a joke post, It's not intended to be, I am very sincere in my fears about my health.
  20. I've already talked to two people on here who told me not to worry about it, but this pain of the left side of my abdomen has been freaking me out! It started in my lower stomach, I'd feel a sharp pain when I sat down. Now it's moved from my lower stomach to the entire left side of my stomach. It also doesn't help that I have back pain, but I've been having back pain on and off for months now, which believe is due to my job, but I never can be sure. I googled it. Yes, I used doctor google, and I google everything. I'm so scared of what this pain could be, even though in the back of my head I know its probably nothing serious. I don't know where it came from, but it started last week, and I've already had two anxiety attacks because of it. There's too many things that it could be, from kidneys, to ovaries, to bladder, to uterus, to digestive tract...I'm so confused. I'm seeing a urologist on the 31st, but I'm debating on whether or not to go to an ER or an urgent care. Advice!
  21. I shared this with a new friend and they encouraged me to share it with you all. This is what I do sometimes when I'm having a good moment: I write a note to myself in my phone as a reminder that whatever uncomfortable thoughts or feelings I am experiencing will pass. I write it in a style that speaks to my anxiety and panic...sort of answering its doubts. The next day if I'm feeling bad I open it up and read it over and over. It helps me get through my day. Here is the latest one... "Casey- Relief is possible. You are feeling anxiety free at this moment. And you have joy and happiness and peace and calm. You just need to push through the tough times to get to the good times. You can do it! Anxiety and depression are tricky monsters that LIE to you! They say you can't do it and life is not worth living and to be scared. But they're lying! It's 100% worth it. You will be okay! Don't forget it! BELIEVE IT! If you're crying now, know it will pass. You've got this Casey. You're a fighter and you're strong. You can beat it! Don't listen to the monster. You are too smart! It will pass. I promise it will pass!!! DO NOT LISTEN TO IT. IT'S LYING TO YOU! BELIEVE IT WILL PASS CASEY!!!" I may do a video on my phone next time...we will see! Let me know if this is useful for you! sending positive vibes your way
  22. I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this - I apologize if it is in the wrong place. I was hoping I could get a few insights in regards to a little problem of mine. On Saturday I was walking around the Winter Island campground area (in Salem, MA) with some friends, wearing flip-flops. We sat in the dark at a little picnic bench and I was unaware of anything biting me. Then Sunday I noticed an itchy little spot on the inside of my foot. It couldn't have been an insect bite, as there was no puncture wound and no lump and no redness. Later that day, I started noticing pain in the same area (almost like a scrape). I do recall slipping off the sidewalk to make way for a dogwalker and scraping my foot a tiny bit on the pavement, but I would expect to see evidence of skin damage in the area (which I did not) and I also can't see how that would cause itchiness. I've read that people can be bitten by bats and not notice, because of the size of the teeth. I've also read that puncture wounds from bats can disappear within minutes. Is it possible that there could have been a dying bat lying in the grass, and that I stepped on its wing or something and was bitten without noticing? Again, I did not feel anything biting me and I am worried because of the pain/itchiness I have been feeling ever since, which I have heard is the first symptom of rabies. Would it be possible for symptoms to start that early? I first noticed the itchy spot probably about 12 hours after going to the campground. Another reason I am concerned is that today I noticed my temperature was slightly higher than normal (98.5 - 98.8 instead of about 97.5) and I fear that this may also be rabies. I know I can't go to the doctor because 1) symptoms have already started, so if this is rabies that means I am a dead woman walking and 2) she wouldn't give me shots, as I didn't see any bats. Do you think I have anything to worry about? This has been tearing me apart ever since and I can't sleep or function. Thank you.
  23. Hi everyone, You all can call me Elfy...I wasn't so sure about putting my real name out here. I'm 19...a girl... and that's the fundamentals. A little bit about what brought me here, is that throughout my life I was always a worrier. I became entirely stressed by little changes, my sister reorganizing the bathroom so that I cant find my things, crumpled up papers effecting my grades, and other seemingly miniscule things. the older I got the more things worried me. To the point some nights I wouldn't and couldn't sleep. This carried on for years. Last semester in college I had a lot happen to me leading to many a complete breakdown, and panic attack on top of my day to day anxiety that piled on to p of me. Some days it was hard to pull myself out of bed, let alone out of the house. My new boyfriend fairly recently pushed me to talk to my doctor about my anxiety. I have yet to get to a therapist for various reasons, but I thought a good start was to join a chat forum of some sort to bounce questions off of and learn experiences from. I tried another forum but they were less than helpful and I didn't feel quite welcome. I hope that you all can find space in your heart to accept me...and I hope I fit in here.
  24. I don't know if this is a form of OCD or i'm worrying about nothing but, whenever i see a number sequence i always have to add/divide/multiply/subtract them from each other to reach the number zero. I've been doing this for about 2 years. I started doing it to help myself improve on mental arithmetic but i feel like its spiraled out of control. E.g when i look at a digital time, i have to use all the numbers to reach zero. If i can't, it fills me with serious anxiety and i can't relax until i solve the problem. Its getting seriously frustrating because whenever i try to explain to someone, the rules are so complicated (my rules i have given myslef so i can reach the number zero) that they wont understand and i have to give up. For example If i see the time, and it is 17:22 i will separate the numbers to 1 7 2 2, then multiply 1 by 7 then add 2 and 2. This makes 11. Separate them into 1 and 1, after i can minus 1 from 1 to get zero. After i can reach zero my mind can rest. If i see a number with multiple digits E.g 23,510 i completely disregard the value of the digits, and separate them again 2 3 5 1 0. I now remove 0 completely (because it has no value) mulitply 2 by 3 and add 5 then multiply by 1. This equals 11. 1 minus 1 equals 0. People understand this but its my other method that seems confusing If i'm left with a single digit number such as 7 i will separate it into 1 and 6. Then i will take 1 multiply it by 6. Then half it into 3 and 3 then take these away from each other to make zero. This has lead me to hate the number 1. This is because i cant halve it into two separate numbers. This is a problem because I can't even really think about the number without getting anxious. If anyone knows anything or can recomend me a way to try and reduce stress caused by this i would really appreactiate it.