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Found 59 results

  1. Hello Dear Forum Members! This is my first post here, I hope I’m not violating any rules. I've just published my first book and I think it could help many of you, too. The story is the following: Last year when I spent a long time alone in nature, I opened my heart and I had very strong intuitive and inspirational thoughts about OCD. I quickly wrote these thoughts down. As I got more and more of these thoughts, I decided to formulate them into a little book. I originally intended to write this book just for myself, but then I realized it could be a tremendous help for others, too. So I actually published it a couple of days ago. The title is "OCD as Seen by the Soul". You can find it on Amazon and Apple Books, too. https://books.apple.com/us/book/ocd-as-seen-by-the-soul/id1502272010?ls=1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B085S78S7S I’m really interested in your opinion, so I'd like to hand out 3 free copies. Just take a look at the preview of the book, and you'll see my email address there. Send me an email and tell me that you're coming from www.anxiety-central.com, and I'll send a free copy to three people, who are interested. (I don't know the forum rules, you can contact me in other ways, too.) Please only respond if you are open-minded and you're longing for some soul-level encouragement, a soul-level support. In fact, the whole book is like an enthusiastic pep-talk from the first to the last letter. Thank you so much!
  2. Intrusive thoughts are a true pain in the ass. I keep having them I am a long time ocd/health anxiety sufferer I keep having horrible scary thoughts. Like planning my kids funeral if they get sick. Thats 1 example I will take any ideas or advice
  3. Hi all I am new here I have fought with anxiety mainly health anxiety and ocd for decades. I am on SSI because of it as well as outpatient. & needless to say this new current event that's freaking everyone out is waking up every fear that I have. Jumping out of my sleep and all. really would be great to meet people who can relate.
  4. Ok so here goes alot lol I have had anxiety all my life but in the last ten years or so certain behaviors of mine have increased in frequency and consequence to the point that I really wonder if I'm not an undiagnosed OCD situation. For as long as I can remember I have had an obsession with tapping my fingers either to my thumb or other objects or body parts but ALWAYS in a very particular pattern ( thumb, pointer,, middle, ring, pinky, pinky ring middle pointer thumb, back and forth all day constantly.) It can get so intense and complicated with the patterns that it brings me to the point of panic when say I accidently hit the middle, bottom, then top of my pointer finger then the top, middle, then bottom of another finger to the point where my hand will be moving in these patterns on my pillow as I'm trying to fall asleep completely subconsciously but still causing major anxiety if I don't do it "right" this also extends to the way my tongue touches my teeth and the way my teeth touch each other. I've never told a doctor it therapist about this but the behaviors are absolutely constant and unceasing and cause like I said huge anxiety when I consciously try to stop doing them. It's become a huge part of my life and something people notice especially my constant finger movements. Is this anything normal or something other people have experienced? It just makes me feel so isolated and alone especially when other people notice it. I know it's nothing compared to alot of OCD type ticks or other things but I just wanted to put it out there for the first time and see what others with some knowledge on the subject had to say. Any response would be greatly appreciated. Thanks -Chase
  5. Ok so here goes alot lol I have had anxiety all my life but in the last ten years or so certain behaviors of mine have increased in frequency and consequence to the point that I really wonder if I'm not an undiagnosed OCD situation. For as long as I can remember I have had an obsession with tapping my fingers either to my thumb or other objects or body parts but ALWAYS in a very particular pattern ( thumb, pointer,, middle, ring, pinky, pinky ring middle pointer thumb, back and forth all day constantly.) It can get so intense and complicated with the patterns that it brings me to the point of panic when say I accidently hit the middle, bottom, then top of my pointer finger then the top, middle, then bottom of another finger to the point where my hand will be moving in these patterns on my pillow as I'm trying to fall asleep completely subconsciously but still causing major anxiety if I don't do it "right" this also extends to the way my tongue touches my teeth and the way my teeth touch each other. I've never told a doctor it therapist about this but the behaviors are absolutely constant and unceasing and cause like I said huge anxiety when I consciously try to stop doing them. It's become a huge part of my life and something people notice especially my constant finger movements. Is this anything normal or something other people have experienced? It just makes me feel so isolated and alone especially when other people notice it. I know it's nothing compared to alot of OCD type ticks or other things but I just wanted to put it out there for the first time and see what others with some knowledge on the subject had to say. Any response would be greatly appreciated. Thanks -Chase
  6. Hey guys my name's Alberto and I been having alot of intrusive existential questions and it's been worrying me for the past few weeks at first it was giving me really bad anxiety but that's calmed down now , it all started when I had a panic attack a few months ago and I was feeling anxious and stressed for the next 2 months after that attack cause I was worrying alot about my health and suddenly one day I started feeling unreal and that really freaked me out then I started having those existential thoughts intrude my head I also look up alot of articles and opinions about this stuff cause it's been worrying me but like I said lately all it does is just worry me with a little anxiety I'm worried I might go crazy or get depressed about it or I won't be able to go back to how I was ,some of the thoughts I been having are as followed ( am I real, how I'm I real, what if life is meaningless, what happens after we die etc.)
  7. Hi everyone, I am having a really rough month. Let me start out by saying that I have a really bad health anxiety/OCD condition that I have been on and off dealing with for the last 3 years. I'm currently in veterinary school and my anxiety levels lately have been going through the roof. This last month in particular has been rough as I have not been sleeping well, I have been dealing with my cat that had a horrible illness and had to get multiple procedures, surgeries, biopsies, a feeding tube placed, etc. It was right in the middle of midterms and it was incredibly stressful running around taking him in and out of the hospital. I was incredibly worried for him and freaking out it was rabies. I went to the hospital to get the rabies shots. After a while I was convinced it was ok and I stopped worrying about it. After all the stress of this, I started to develop a finger twitch in my right index finger. it happens all throughout the day both at rest but also when im using my computer or after I perform an action and then rest. It's been causing me a lot of grief over the last week and I saw 2 primary care doctors about it. Both of which refused to refer me to a neurologist and told me it was most likely from stress or anxiety. right and sometimes left arm. IDK if those are just from being more anxious and hyper-vigilant. Other things have started happening like pin and needle feeligs in my left foot and percieved weakness in my I've been worried sick about ALS, PD or MS. 6 months ago I was taking Accutane and around finals time I had parasthesia in my left arm. It freaked me out so I went to the hospital numerous times to get cervical and brain MRIs...they found nothing. I also got tested for Lymes, had general panels done at the hospital and had my thyroid levels checked (all 6 months ago)...nothing wrong. It was dismissed as anxiety or problems from the Accutane, which I discontinued and started feeling better. Im worried the paresthesia in the left arm and the finger twitching in the right index finger are related and indicitave of a neurodegenerative disease. I used to be treated for anxiety and I was taking meds. I went cold turkey and stopped taking them out of laziness about a month and a half ago. Dumb, dumb decision I know, but my anxiety has gotten out of control since then. I started seeing a new therapist and I am getting back on my medication for good. I don't know what to do. Does this sound like a neuro disorder or just anxiety? I know people here arent doctors, but have people experienced this? Just twitching in ONE finger due to anxiety???? I guess there is the pins and needles feeling in my left foot, but I'm just freaking out and I cannot think about anything else. Is it likely to just be anxiety? Should I just trust my primary care doctors and attribute it to stress??? Any comments, advice or help would be much appreciated. Im having a hard time functioning and I'm so close to going to the ER to just ask for more tests. Thanks so much all, Sorry for the rant.
  8. Hello, I’m so glad that I found this group! Yesterday I was on the verge of committing myself because Im still trying to get a diagnosis. I’ve had approximately 6 therapist in the last 10 years and I’m convinced that nobody really wants to help unless you demand it. It’s not enough that they are getting paid, they also have to be nudged along to do their job thoroughly. I saw my therapist on Tuesday and opened up to her about some of my thoughts. She said that she would email me exercises for my current struggle with anxiety (rumination), I waited until Thursday before I emailed her to let her know that I never received the email. She responded back that school closed early and she had to get her children and she would send it the next morning, Here we are almost Sunday and still no email. My next appointment is Tuesday..... I plan on letting her have a piece of my mind when i get there. Im feeling a little better today. I was able to find my old psychiatrist from 10 years ago. I stopped going to her because she moved over an hour away but she’s now back at her old office from what I can see online. I left a message. Hopefully I hear something soon. Im ready to go back on meds.... Background Long story short, I remember being a small child and thinking I caused a car accident because I fell alseep while my mom was driving. See, my mom drove the car but I helped by pushing the imaginary petals in the back seat (I did this every time we went for a drive) I was riddled with guilt thinking that i had cause the accident. I thought about it obsessively. I cried.... but didn’t tell my mom because I was scared that she would be mad. That’s my first memory of rumination..... the first of many. As I get older its increasingly harder to distract myself as I did when I was a kid. Im a semi newly divorce mom (2 years this coming March) and Im lonely because I can’t date...... I mean who would want to deal with this ocd baggage. Im a nice looking woman, Exotic looking from what Ive been told but Im petrified to get close to anyone for fear of them finding out my deepest secret. Im 40 but look much younger thanks to my parents who seem to have made a deal with the devil to look much younger too. My dad is 69 and he has only a few grey hairs and not one visible wrinkle. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia before I was born..... Vietnam war vet..... what a gene cocktail. To my knowledge he’s never taken meds but was medically discharged from the army with that diagnosis. We dont talk about it because he claims he faked it to get out of the army but everyone knows that’s not the truth. We just grin and bare it. Some of my ruminations and oddities … My health is always the Pink Elephant in the OCD room, however I’m not ready to be specific about that just yet.... My children.... I fear them being sexually abused... it’s hard to not think about it when they are out of my presence. This is where I stop..... My food just came.... Im down to one small meal a day (usually in the evening so I can sleep comfortably). I skipped a couple of days of eating since last Tuesday. This is my body’s response to my anxiety. I need too loose weight anyway so Im not too worried yet. I haven’t felt this bad in almost 10 years. Im mad at myself for returning back to this………… for not being strong.... It was easier to distract myself before but now my kids are teenagers and Im now single and alone.
  9. It's obvious how many misconceptions there are with the term "OCD", but I think this article does a good job of shining more light on this issue. Unfortunately, the media/society continues to only show the hand-washing side of having OCD. What can be done to stop people from misusing the term over and over?... https://blog.treatmyocd.com/why-is-ocd-so-misunderstood-24b673568077
  10. Sorry, this post may be lacking in structure, but I have so much to get off my chest!! Dx I'm a 21 year old female. Over the past winter I had gotten over a mild case of pneumonia that lasted for about a month and a half, and ever since I'd gotten over it I felt fine aside from the fact that I've had a preoccupation with my breathing (which I was just told I also have sensorimotor OCD, as I also have ruminations with other things that will take too long to explain) and now I have absolutely no idea if my mind is simply catastrophizing the situation and making it much worse than it actually is or if I'm actually getting sick again. This isn't really new for me, but I sometimes can't help thinking that my predictions must be true. I am beginning to despise AND fear living inside of my mind because regardless of how I am able to get over one thing, a new thought introduces itself and creates room for more ruminations, therefore causing a panic attack to occur. I just wish I knew if my symptoms were psychosomatic and not actually real. I've been so focused on breathing that I think I am overdoing it and causing my back to go sore, and each time I feel one small difference in the way I breathe my heart starts to pound and I panic. That just makes me think, gee, if I have problems breathing then it must be serious... I always worry that an illness will attack my lungs and prevent me from living my life the way I want to (I would love to travel, sight see and pursue music). I absolutely hate it and just need a little bit of support in the mean time....thanks in advance :3
  11. Is there actually a good way to do this? I found this post to be helpful in explaining how to tell a therapist your worst thoughts : https://blog.treatmyocd.com/how-to-tell-a-therapist-be781c19d453 Anyone have good input on this? Interesting topic..
  12. I'm a long time sufferer of OCD, depression and anxiety. I'm a 58 year old woman who lives in the United States. A lot of my support system has evaporated in the last several months. I was a frequent user of the now defunct Anxiety Zone site which helped a lot. I attended a NAMI connections support group for 5 years which disbanded last year. One dear friend has been unreachable due to her mental illness - doesn't return my calls anymore. Another is having a lot of health problems and so she is not very available to get together. I lost my beloved cat last year, he was 18 years old and had end stage pancreatitis. I have 2 new cats which are good cats but they are not so bonded to me like my Rusty was. I myself am having more physical limitations so I can't just be on the go for very long. In short I have too much time on my hands and not enough to do to fill it. I've only been getting out about once a week except for doctor appointments and short errands. I feel very lonely and at loose ends. I hope to make some friends on this site and maybe in time an email penpal or 2. I'm liberal and have a zany sense of humor. Thank you Gilly for this site. There seems to be less and less resources for people with mental illness.
  13. Hi,I'm a volunteer at an animal shelter and a big animal lover. About a month ago, a staff member at the shelter found a frog in there, and she invited me to come with her as she went outside to release the frog. She put the frog near a puddle and went back inside the shelter, but since I have OCD, I felt like I had to stay there a few more moments to make sure the frog was okay. After staring at the frog for a few moments, I started walking back to the shelter, but I kept looking back at the puddle, just to be absolutely sure.At some point when I looked back the frog wasn't there anymore. I went back to puddle to take a closer look, but the frog was nowhere to be seen, so I just went back to the shelter.Even though I can tell with almost 100% certainty that the frog simply jumped into the puddle when I didn't look, I still can't get over the idea that I accidentally stepped on the frog when I went back to puddle to take a closer look. This idea makes no sense because the closest I got to where we put the frog was a few meters away from that spot, and also, if a frog had been crashed under my foot, I would have surely noticed.Unfortunately, I cannot reason with my OCD, and even though I keep telling myself how irrational my worries are, they just don't go away.Any advice on how to deal with this trouble?
  14. Hello, I will try and keep this short. My life hasn't been hell, I've had some great times in my life and some terrible ones. Starting after my deployment in Iraq i slowly started easing into life with increased anxiety and illogical fear. I constantly woke up and looked out my windows, I always thought I heard something, I always had to check to make sure I was safe and I always caught myself when I was falling asleep and would wake up as if I was on watch. I was diagnosed with ptsd while still on active duty. I tried like hell to let the doctor I was fine and just needed something to help me sleep. I refused to be stamped with ptsd. once I returned home I began self medicating with alcohol, when I was drunk I wasn't anxious and typically had a good time. I fell into a relationship rather quickly. I kept up the drinking which was easy because my gf was an alcoholic just like both of her parents who I never once saw sober. one night I had a party at my house with about 30 people over and I stepped outside and heard a loud smash which ended up being one of my best friends being hit by a car. I gave him cpr until the medics came but it was too late. I was so numb I couldn't even force myself to cry at his funeral. about a year after that I learned of my girlfriend cheating on me which apparently had been happening for some time. I moved in with a friend to get away from the house that I alone was paying for. My ex got with a known junkie, which to me was super weird because she didn't participate in drugs to my knowledge and she knew this guy. The guy was rich and came from a very well off family, so I suppose she thought she hit the jack pot and figured it was someone she could party with and not have to hear about it later, even though he was addicted to heroin and whatever pills he could get his hands on. My ex and her addict boyfriend had a child and I was happy for her, I legit wanted her to be happy. Fast forward about a year and my ex overdosed. Pain pills and most likely heroin. I couldn't go to her funeral in fear of my rage against her boyfriend and all the family that watched her spiral downward. after this I cracked I suppose. I had such strong anxiety that I couldn't sleep or eat or enjoy ANYTHING. The only thing I could think of that kept me pushing forward was that I wasn't dead. The sun was still rising and no matter what I was breathing at the moment. Everything else was just nothing but a waste of time. I couldn't even stay at my house, I crashed in my brother couch night after night because I didn't want to be alone, I couldn't sleep without someone "on watch" my brother dog helped by being by my side while I slept. I would find myself waking up constantly in the middle of the night with the dog staring at me with its ears up as if to let me know, "it's ok I'm alert" I now work in corrections in a jail, and I don't have to explain the daily stress that is involved with that. my ex's junkie boyfriend is actually in the jail I work at and will most likely go to prison or a long term facility because he has constantly received a slap on the wrist for his possession charges and drug abuse charges. Last I hear the poor child they had is in custody of his parents which beaks my heart but in the long run is good I suppose. dealing with the criminal element on a daily basis almost makes me feel like one. I am constantly reviewing my choices and actions to make sure I'm not doing anything wrong. My life has become a constant dread that I fully understand s****de. This isn't living. This is hell. my name is jamie and I'd appreciate any help of just talking to keep me pushing forward.
  15. On October of 2016 I had oral sex , and well the first thing I did was to worry about std's once it was over. My anxiety shot to the roof. The oral lasted about 40 seconds and no ejaculation happened , I have not been in peace since then and every time I feel an itch or something on my face or a burning sensation i can't seem to stop checking on it. I have also developed a really bad habit of searching everything up on the internet. Since the encounter I can't stop worrying and I'm afraid to get tested and have it be positive. My neck has been in pain for about 3 weeks and I have a feeling that I have swollen lymph nodes. I have not had an initial cold sore outbreak or anything of that kind. Today I have a small red area on my upper lip line and it's painless but I'm still really worried. Can anyone please give me advice on my situation. Could it be my anxiety causing all this ?
  16. I'm a 28 year old male 6"1 177pds. My conditions are OCD/Contamination&Rumination, GAD, Panic Disorder, Depression, ADD, Social anxiety, Sleep changes I've tried Lexapro & Zoloft before, both at ineffective doses and I just didn't feel like the lexapro worked good enough at 10mg and the zoloft at 150mg made me much more anxious. I worked really hard with a different PCP bugging him and messaging back and forth, I had to get this right. I suggested Paxil 20-30-40 than 60 mg. I'm on 60 mg now for about 4 months and It's finally helping because I've been able to leave my house and go out more and not be so scared and think of my fears constantly. Even when someone does sneeze or is coughing for example or there's something that triggers OCD contamination I cringe for about 5 seconds but I cope and move on. Later on though I noticed I had no motivation for life and felt like a zombie. I researched my butt off and found Wellbutrin XL to be a good add on for this and it can also help with depression and ADD which I also have and which Paxil made worse because it only works on Serotonin and I have other issues as well (ADD/Depression). He prescribed 150mg XL Wellbutrin as a add on and I've been on it for about 5-6 weeks. I feel a bit happier and some more balance but I notice a difference if I don't take it for 2-3 days like I'm more lazy not very happy about life ect, I still have ADD symptoms on 150mg XL wellbutrin like I can't read and comprehend or pay attention to things (boring tasks). I lose focus easily and can be very impulsive at times out of no where. I just asked him if I can take 300 XL Wellbutrin to target the ADD better and he said OK I can do that but if it causes your anxiety to creep up and mess with the OCD let me know after 2 weeks so we can go back down to 150 XL immediately. Anyone know if Wellbutrin XL 300 MG worked well for them as far as ADD/ADHD goes? I mean it is a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor but that works mostly on depression which I do have. But it says It's also a dopamine reuptake inhibitor. Wonder if it works on one more than the other. Stimulants like Adderall I've tried and just didn't like the crash or on edge feeling you know? It works but come on who wants to feel like that. I was on the Adderall for a short time around age 22 and was not taking a ssri so maybe the combination would work, I just don't feel like going through the pain of switching the med wellbutrin to adderall or vvyanse and having to go through the start up side effects or what ever. I'm also on klonopin 90 pills to with drawl from the benzo xanax after being on 1.50mg for a 16 months and that's going well. I stopped shaking as much and all that other good stuff.
  17. I'm a 28 year old male 6"1 177pds. My conditions are OCD/Contamination&Rumination, GAD, Panic Disorder, Depression, ADD, Social anxiety, Sleep changes I've tried Lexapro & Zoloft before, both at ineffective doses and I just didn't feel like the lexapro worked good enough at 10mg and the zoloft at 150mg made me much more anxious. I worked really hard with a different PCP bugging him and messaging back and forth, I had to get this right. I suggested Paxil 20-30-40 than 60 mg. I'm on 60 mg now for about 4 months and It's finally helping because I've been able to leave my house and go out more and not be so scared and think of my fears constantly. Even when someone does sneeze or is coughing for example or there's something that triggers OCD contamination I cringe for about 5 seconds but I cope and move on. Later on though I noticed I had no motivation for life and felt like a zombie. I researched my butt off and found Wellbutrin XL to be a good add on for this and it can also help with depression and ADD which I also have and which Paxil made worse because it only works on Serotonin and I have other issues as well (ADD/Depression). He prescribed 150mg XL Wellbutrin as a add on and I've been on it for about 5-6 weeks. I feel a bit happier and some more balance but I notice a difference if I don't take it for 2-3 days like I'm more lazy not very happy about life ect, I still have ADD symptoms on 150mg XL wellbutrin like I can't read and comprehend or pay attention to things (boring tasks). I lose focus easily and can be very impulsive at times out of no where. I just asked him if I can take 300 XL Wellbutrin to target the ADD better and he said OK I can do that but if it causes your anxiety to creep up and mess with the OCD let me know after 2 weeks so we can go back down to 150 XL immediately. Anyone know if Wellbutrin XL 300 MG worked well for them as far as ADD/ADHD goes? I mean it is a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor but that works mostly on depression which I do have. But it says It's also a dopamine reuptake inhibitor. Wonder if it works on one more than the other. Stimulants like Adderall I've tried and just didn't like the crash or on edge feeling you know? It works but come on who wants to feel like that. I was on the Adderall for a short time around age 22 and was not taking a ssri so maybe the combination would work, I just don't feel like going through the pain of switching the med wellbutrin to adderall or vvyanse and having to go through the start up side effects or what ever. I'm also on klonopin 90 pills to with drawl from the benzo xanax after being on 1.50mg for a 16 months and that's going well. I stopped shaking as much and all that other good stuff.
  18. I'm a diagnosed OCD checker. I check.... Window locks Door locks Stove knobs Oven knobs Outlets for heat Light switches for heat or sound of spark My kids breathing in the middle of the night. And after I check these things once, i have to keep checking them because I feel that me checking them may have CAUSED a problem, for example checking the stove knobs might have actually accidentally turned the gas on. So i check things normally regularly.
  19. In February I had sex for the first time with a guy of unknown status but who said he was clean yet also said he never wore a condom before(I'm a girl) and we used a condom that time. I bled a lot but I figured it was low risk with a condom. Second time we did it a week later but he pressured me too much and there was no condom used that time. He didn't ejaculate in me, he pulled out. But I did bleed. It was like blood had sprayed on the sheet, not like slow bleeding like the first time. I am worried HIV might've gotten into me from that bleeding. That was the only two times I came close to sex. After that we stopped talking and I didn't notice any symptoms really. I'm diagnosed with OCD and GAD so I don't know if it was those or what but I was having night sweats. I googled that and I started to get triggered about HIV. I became obsessed. I thought I might've had swollen lymph nodes and one arm was sore for a while. Near the end of the three month mark I got sick with a fever and rash and the dr diagnosed me with hand foot and mouth Disease. That makes sense since my mom was coming home from her school job where there was a huge outbreak of it at the school. It went away quickly and that's it. Now it's been 6 1/2 months and I am scared to get tested. My friend and cousin said I'm overreacting but I want to get tested. Not at a clinic because there are no free ones nearby nor are they anonymous. I looked into oraquick rapid test but I'm too embarrassed and afraid to purchase it. I don't know what to do. This whole issue has triggered me. I concha toy wash my hands and scrub things. I won't let anyone use my towels or soap or anything that I've touched. It's driving me crazy. If I touch any food I throw it away. I don't know if it was my guilt (I'm Muslim) about sex or what but I just can't do it. I'm too afraid to walk into the store and get the test. Also the guy was Muslim as well , as far as I knew a non drug user and doesn't have sex with men but u never know with some of those nasty girls out there he might've been with. Now I am so afraid because I met an amazing guy recently and things are going well. I don't want him to find out I have HIV but I want to know if I even have it or not. I pretty much gave myself the death sentence because I can hide that I had sex from potential husbands but if I have HIV I can never get married to a Muslim guy.
  20. Hello everyone! I decided to start this topic, because I feel like I suffer from many forms of anxiety, and I just want to vent. I have overcome many obstacles in my life when it comes to this, but it just feels like every time I get over one hurdle, something else gets thrown in my face. For instance, growing up, I could barely go to the supermarket without feeling like I was about to die! I remember feeling like everyone was looking at me, and that I couldn't breathe. It took a while for me to get over the fear of being around people, but I did it, without therapy, but of course, I didn't realize that I had anxiety at that time. Fast forward a couple of years later, just when I think everything is okay, I began to react to things that I never would have before. For example, if I'm in a grocery store, out of nowhere, I'll think "what if someone thinks I'm trying to steal something?" From this small question, I begin to overcompensate and try to prove that I would never steal, even though I would never do such a thing in the first place. I mean, I've looked up my symptoms and it seems that I suffer from social anxiety, gad, and a little bit of ocd. I'm not sure where this has come from, but I'm hoping that I can overcome more of these issues, and learn to get through any future ones without being so stressed out!
  21. Megan1

    GF thinks I'm faking

    So the other night my girlfriend and I got into a fight. It started when after a very aggravating/stressful night. My hormones were fluxuating. I barely made it to therapy on time do to train delays, Therapy delved into unpleasant territory. Train delays coming home held me up for two hours and I ended up walking the last couple stops. And someone was fraudulently making credit card purchases with my account. So when I got home I got in my computer to try to deal with that. I was logged on and looking at my transaction history and she decided to look over my shoulder at everything. I asked her to give my some privacy and she got pissed saying that since we have been together for nine years I shouldn't mind. I said I did and that I never did that to her. Things continued until I was in tears from the stress. This just made her more angry at me. Which pushed me over the edge into full blown anxiety attack. Which just kept her yelling at me to stop crying quit fracking it. I eventually was able to get up and hide in the bathroom trying to calm down. This led to me thinking about numerous crazy doomsday scenarios of what would happen if we broke up. I eventually calmed down enough to shower and talk to her more calmly. She said she thought i was playing up my problems to manipulate her, which I'm absolutely not and was horrified she would think that. Part of the problem is that I hid things mostly from her, though she apparently picked up on my bits of my OCD (list making, etc.) before I had come to terms with it and never mentioned it to me. I also hid other personal problems too, trying to take care of things myself. The other problem is that this last year my symptons, I thought I had under control, have started getting a lot worse, which is why I'm going to therapy. I did my best to explain things and we were calm enough to go to bed. Yesterday was decent too, but I keep coming back to what she said and I don't know how to feel.
  22. Well this was kind of funny. Yesterday, I was asked to compile a bunch of materials for a client. Including a list of client data, so as i was working on this, it triggered my thing for lists and sorting. I started working on the list after lunch and ended up working two hours after i should have gone home, when my boss told me to go home. On the bright side, it can off as, "she is a really hard worker" and it was a pretty list, in-depth and had the data conveniently subdivided. Yep, I'm a dork.
  23. I don't know if this is a form of OCD or i'm worrying about nothing but, whenever i see a number sequence i always have to add/divide/multiply/subtract them from each other to reach the number zero. I've been doing this for about 2 years. I started doing it to help myself improve on mental arithmetic but i feel like its spiraled out of control. E.g when i look at a digital time, i have to use all the numbers to reach zero. If i can't, it fills me with serious anxiety and i can't relax until i solve the problem. Its getting seriously frustrating because whenever i try to explain to someone, the rules are so complicated (my rules i have given myslef so i can reach the number zero) that they wont understand and i have to give up. For example If i see the time, and it is 17:22 i will separate the numbers to 1 7 2 2, then multiply 1 by 7 then add 2 and 2. This makes 11. Separate them into 1 and 1, after i can minus 1 from 1 to get zero. After i can reach zero my mind can rest. If i see a number with multiple digits E.g 23,510 i completely disregard the value of the digits, and separate them again 2 3 5 1 0. I now remove 0 completely (because it has no value) mulitply 2 by 3 and add 5 then multiply by 1. This equals 11. 1 minus 1 equals 0. People understand this but its my other method that seems confusing If i'm left with a single digit number such as 7 i will separate it into 1 and 6. Then i will take 1 multiply it by 6. Then half it into 3 and 3 then take these away from each other to make zero. This has lead me to hate the number 1. This is because i cant halve it into two separate numbers. This is a problem because I can't even really think about the number without getting anxious. If anyone knows anything or can recomend me a way to try and reduce stress caused by this i would really appreactiate it.
  24. There are times that we encounter fearful and obsessive thoughts that can be difficult to manage. For some people, the more they try to get rid of the thoughts, the stronger the thoughts become and the more difficult they become to manage. This is very common for people who deal with OCD. Here are six techniques that a person can use to help manage their fearful and obsessive thoughts. 1. Don't Dwell on The Thought The first thing a person must do is not to dwell or focus on the fear provoking thought when it comes. The more a person tries to reason out the thought or focus on the fear behind the thought, the stronger the thought becomes. The next time you encounter an obsessive thought, get into the practice of not dwelling on it. 2. Visualize a Red Stop Sign A person should visualize a red stop sign in their mind when they encounter a fear provoking thought. When the negative thought comes, a person should think of a red stop sign that serves as a reminder to stop focusing on that thought and to think of something else. A person can then try to think of something positive to replace the negative thought. 3. Take It One Step at a Time Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. 4. It's Only Fear. Remember that the difference between an obsessive thought and a regular thought is that an obsessive thought is based on fear. With this in mind, try to find the source of the fear behind the thought. Once you find the source of the fear, learn to manage it. Ignore the fear behind these obsessive thoughts, regardless how the strong the fear may be. If you ignore the fear behind these thoughts, then the thoughts become easier to manage. 5. Challenge Your Thoughts With Positive Statements A person should keep a small notebook of positive statements that makes them feel good. Whenever they come across a positive and uplifting verse that makes them feel good, write it down in a small notebook. A person can then carry this notebook around in their pocket and whenever they feel anxious, they can read their notebook. 6. Get Help Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future.
  25. Hello everyone, this is a new thing for me. Not my Agoraphobia or OCD but sharing my fears. I am in the AARP age bracket and have suffered mostly in silence with my Agoraphobia and OCD from a very young age. I came from abusive parents at a time in America when beating your child showed good form. Fear is weakness not sickness is what I was told. Suck it up, you will be fine, be a man. I tried even when I had chest pain so severe I would sweat and vomit, but I kept going. When I was in my late teens I learn running and working out flooded my brain with endorphins and I could get by on bravado. It worked well enough to get me a wife and we started a family. All day I would play the tough guy soldier in the Army and at night I would sweat, shake and sob like a frighten child in my wife’s arms. My breakdowns must have been terribly confusion and exhausting to hers, but I am so grateful she stayed as long as she did. The loss of my family led me to beer as a form of confidence. In time drinking became a way of leading a “normal” life. I could hide the shaking and sweating because everyone knew I was “just hung-over”. You see my experience had taught me that it was better to be a drunk than to have mental illness. The judgmental world I lived in believed Agoraphobia and OCD was just weakness or laziness not a sickness, so I never ask for help again. I drank and exercised and as time passed I just drank. Now as an old used up drunk I became so weak that the beer didn’t help and I starting losing jobs and relationships. The depression and pain led me to an attempt on my life, I can report I failed and this introduction is not coming from the afterworldJ. So I am alive, sober, depressed, unemployed and in debt over my head. So I thought what the hell, if I am to learn a better way to deal with and maybe even overcome my Agoraphobia and OCD not to mention the depression and overwhelming exhaustion that accompany them. Maybe I should ask people dealing with the same issues I am for any advice they were willing to give. So I am asking… Regards, Rick