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Found 20 results

  1. I have developed a severe fear of strokes about 6 months ago. It started because one morning about an hour after waking up, my vision felt off. It is really hard to explain, and since time has passed my memory of the event isn't as clear. But it was kind of like I had just walked into a dark room after being in the sun, like I couldn't properly focus my eyes. Since I've always had health anxiety, I started googling and "stroke" came up. I panicked and my SO started to drive me to the ER. By the time I got in the car my vision was fine again but I was still nervous and had stroke on my mind. I sat on my left hand because it seemed to feel weird and I didnt want to think about it. A few minutes later, I pulled my hand out and it felt like it went numb/asleep. Only, I couldnt shake it away so I freaked out and we called an ambulance. My hand felt better in a few minutes but then I felt like my left side of my tongue and mouth were tingling...and then they seemed to go partially numb as well. That again resolved in a few minutes or less. The ambulance came, hospital ran a bunch of tests including an MRI and CT scan and everything was fine. So they diagnosed me with migraine with aura. I have a history of headaches related to stress/anxiety, but never with an aura as far as I know. So after that I became obsessed with the fear that I actually had a TIA and that I was going to have a stroke any moment. Every moment of every day I am worried about it. I constantly think parts of my tongue, mouth, face, hands, etc are going numb and constantly "check" to prove to myself theyre not. Ive had quite a few one eye visual auras since then as well which I had never noticed I had before. But theyre not correlated with migraines. Then lately, I have days where I feel these weird icy/wet/menthol feelings all throughout my body. It just travels around randomly for hours or even a whole day. I've also had this experience with prickling/pins and needles as well. Both come and go and are random. I do not have panic attacks so I know its not correlated with hyperventilating either. I often feel it in my tongue and face which scares me the most I think. But sometimes I wonder if I ever even had numbness the day I went to the ER, or if it was all psychosomatic. Does anyone else deal with this weird feelings? Could it truly just all be in my head and be caused from consistently high levels of stress? I really try to avoid going to the doctor, but I'm on the verge of going for the recent sensations I've been having.
  2. Hi I'm new to all this, I'm 18 and I've had anxiety since I was 6. It started when my parents lost reception on their phone for a couple of hours coming Back from a trip and my grandma couldn't reach em, so she told me they were dead. Traumatized me for 4 hours then they called and it was ok, but it was enough to get the ball rolling. Any ways I just need some rational thinkers or people who've gone through the same thing. I "feel" weakness on my left side but I have no muscle failure , no atrophy etc. Of course I think it's als. But the raitional part of my brain is weak compared to the anxiety. But if any of you have ever had a period of time where you thought you had als could you tell me the symptoms you had? And can anxiety cause real physical symptoms, like if you thing your leg is weak and that's all you think about will it get " weaker"? Anyways ,any response would be really really appreciated. Thank you for your time.
  3. I've been doing pretty well for my last couple of "adventures," didn't even need a blog entry about them. I finished the Panic Attacks Workbook and implemented an exposure therapy plan, although I have to admit that it's still pretty daunting and I keep thinking ahead - instead of, "I can handle a 5-minute car ride around the block," my mind is automatically jumping to, "A 30-minute car ride with no Dramamine would definitely cause me to vomit. I can't do that." Earlier this week, I agreed to go to brunch about 30 minutes away (driving myself there) with my dad, aunt and cousin tomorrow - the fact that I agreed and didn't make up an excuse about why I can't go is a triumph in itself, but the closer the date comes, the more anxious I'm getting. That's pretty much par for the course. The thing that's bothering me this time is that I've been having waves of nausea for the last couple of days. I can pretty much put it down to either too much screen time or PMS symptoms (I'm due for those soon and I always spend a day or two feeling nauseated each month, so it makes sense). I also know that when you get a stomach virus, it doesn't tease you for 3-4 days before it hits - you just get sick. But I keep having anxious thoughts - the most common in a situation like this is, "The symptoms start off mild and get worse, so the longer you're not full-blown sick makes it more and more likely that you'll become full-blown sick while driving or at the restaurant." That's nonsensical "logic" and I know that, but I'm still sitting at about a 50% urge to cancel right now. Another stressing factor is the fact that my husband is off work tomorrow so he wants to come - I love my husband and I don't want him to feel like he's not welcome anywhere, but if I get sick in the middle of the meal and he's still eating, I'll feel trapped so anxiety tells me it's "better" to go alone.
  4. I'm a 20 year old college student, and I think I can safely diagnose myself with health related anxiety. I was always one to worry about my physical health, and I'd always go to the doctor to put myself at ease. I handled it well before, but recently a friend my age died of cancer and it set off the ticking time bomb within me. First, I had an infected cyst under my arm. I convinced myself I had undiagnosed lymphoma. I went to 3 doctors, and they all told me that it was a minor infection. For some reason, I didn't believe them. I didn't believe them even though I was put on antibiotics and the infection and lump went away under my arm. On top of not believing them, I constantly check the internet and check my temperature for that short relieved assurance that I'm fine. Second, I have a minor cough that's accompanied by a tickle in my throat. I then convinced myself I had lung cancer or some sort of fatal disease in my heart or lungs. Went to the doctor and they told me I had a bunch of mucus in the back of my throat and it was a post nasal drip. Third, I started having back pain. Once again, searching the internet made me believe I had lung cancer or failing kidneys. In the back of my mind I knew it was from bad posture, but my body told me it was cancer. Now this week, I'm studying the nervous system and we covered several motor disorders. These include ALS, Parkinson's, Huntington's, and others. Now I've developed weakness in my legs and arms (they feel like jelly), and my hands are shaking a tiny bit. I have been constantly in a state of anxiety since the beginning of November, and this is most likely from anxiety, but I am CONVINCED I have ALS. I can hold a pen just fine, I'm not tripping over my feet, I was able to lift a 25 pound kettlebell in each individual hand, and I walked up and down 6 flight of stairs 3 times yesterday. My legs feel better, and my hands feel better, but are still shaky. Yet here I am. Because I am in such a state of anxiousness all day every day, I haven't been able to eat or study. I am crying nearly every other day. These are the thoughts that run through my mind as soon as I wake up in the morning up until I go to bed. I have avoided hearing or reading the words cancer, death, disease, etc. Every time I hear it, I go into panic mode and I nearly vomit. I'm even bothering my parents because I'm constantly calling them to ask for reassurance that I'm not fatally ill. I'm seeing someone about this when I come home from school, but I am desperate for medication that can help me be in a calmer state so I can deal with my anxiety better. I don't know how this works. Has anyone ever started feeling symptoms when they hear about a new disease? How have you guys coped with this? My goal in life is to work as a physical therapist in a hospital with patients with spinal cord injuries, amputated limbs, and other disabling problems. I can't do that if I can barely deal with my own health.
  5. It helped the other day when I talked through my fear of going to Best Buy, so I'm going to try it again for today's outing. A little background: I have panic disorder and I regularly avoid situations in which I feel trapped. Any type of theater or audience situation - from a movie theater to a classroom to live theater - triggers that sensation for me, and I've been at varying degrees of anticipatory panic for about a week, ever since my mother-in-law bought me a ticket to see the ballet with her and my niece without asking me first. I feel very petty, self-absorbed and ungrateful to be upset that she wanted to include me (especially after I found out the tickets are $40 each), but my brain keeps saying, "This is too big an event for the stage of recovery you're currently in. You are going to panic, this is going to be bad, and you are not going to get through this." Every time I have that thought, a wave of panic washes over me and my bowels begin to cramp at the idea of being in that theater. I start to think of every little step that has to occur in order to get through the ballet and every point at which it would be easy to panic or be trapped, and it begins to feel insurmountable: I have to drive there and I don't know what traffic will be like. I'm not familiar with the parking situation or how easy it will be to get my car back on the road when I'm ready to leave. I don't know where the restrooms are or how many stalls are available. I don't know where our seats are, how close to the aisle and exits I'll be, or how hot the auditorium will be. I don't know the exact run time of the play. These things always begin a little late, so I'll have to wait in the lobby, and then again at my seat. Intermission always takes too long and I'll have to wait again then, plus the bathroom lines will be long. Everyone will leave at the same time, creating traffic jams. Even thinking about all of those things right now is making me feel sick and I probably shouldn't have listed them all out like that, especially so close to the event (I need to leave the house in two hours). So right now, I'm thinking, "This is enough time to bow out and excuse myself from the event. It's still rude to not show up and it's a waste of my mother-in-law's money since I haven't given her enough lead time to find someone to give my ticket to, but maybe she can take one of the younger nieces who will enjoy the ballet more than my nervous ass will. Maybe in a few months, I'll be recovered enough to do something like this." I woke up with a stomach ache and general anxiety this morning. I ate a bowl of cereal because I could tell that I was going to have nausea as a result of low blood sugar problems if I tried to starve myself, and I also know that not eating makes me feel worse, not safer. I also had a cup of coffee because I'm pretty dependent on caffeine, but only one because I didn't want to get shaky, have to go to the bathroom repeatedly, or feel sick on account of the coffee. I've gone to the bathroom twice so far, which is a trigger for the anxious thought, "See? You are sick and if you go to the ballet, you're going to have diarrhea." I'm also feeling warm, but that's an anxiety symptom and it could also have to do with the fact that I'm still wearing my robe, which is too warm to sit around in all day. And I'm experiencing intermittent periods of dizziness, which is absolutely an anxiety symptom and nothing more - I've been tested for vertigo and any other conditions that might make me dizzy and been cleared by a doctor. I'm just not breathing well because I'm anxious. Furthermore, I'm feeling a little hungry again (how could I be sick while I'm hungry?) and all my symptoms magically go away if I distract myself with television, setting up my planner for next week, or briefly telling myself that I can cop out of going to the ballet. If I were really sick, my symptoms wouldn't go away every time I stopped thinking about the ballet. So here's my game plan: I'm going to take a shower and get dressed up because resisting the urge to be a slob always makes me feel more in control. I'm going to use my car time to dictate a couple thousand words of my current novel - and I'm going to be grateful for the distraction from work that the ballet provides because if it weren't for that, I'd be trudging through my rough draft all day. I'm going to bring a pair of headphones in my purse so I can sneakily listen to calming music or an audiobook if I really need to during the play, and I'm also going to bring my fidget cube to use as a distraction. My mantra for the day is, "It's just a temporary panic, and panic isn't dangerous," which I will repeat as necessary to keep myself from fighting the anxiety - I'll call on my meditation knowledge to let it wash over me rather than dam up behind me, and I'll practice staying present in the moment. When it's over, I'm going to reward myself with a trip to Kohl's to buy a purse that my new Chromebook fits into so I can carry it with me always. A few other things I like to remind myself of, which may or may not be in line with Carbonell's methods but which seem to help: If I stayed at home, I definitely wouldn't get sick so there's no reason to expect sickness in this situation, either. The whole event, round trip, will be about three hours, and the ballet will be roughly the length of a movie - I sit through two hours' worth of Netflix every single night and nothing bad ever happens, so this will be more of the same. I'm driving separately so if I genuinely need to leave, I can. If I were to actually get sick, I'd feel the same at home as I would in the theater so it doesn't matter where I vomit. If my symptoms mean I have a cold or flu, again, I'd feel the same at home as I would having a cold or flu at the theater, and I never vomit from those problems so I may as well stay put - people go out when they're sick all the time and it's okay. I still feel strongly in favor of cancelling, but I'm determined to do this because I know the way I feel has nothing to do with real illness and everything to do with anxiety. If I cancel today, it'll only be kicking this problem further down the road and making it harder to deal with later. Half the time when I get this worked up, I don't even end up having a panic attack, and the other half of the time, I do have a panic attack but I survive because there's nothing dangerous about a panic attack. So I'm setting my intention right now. I need to leave the house at 1:30pm and I will return to my house again by 4:30pm. Even if I don't make it to the theater, I will force myself to be away from home during those hours, so I might as well go and hold up my end of a promise I made.
  6. For the last couple of years, I've been screaming my anxiety fears into the Tumblr void and it's not helping anyone - talking to myself just makes me feel more alone and broadcasting my darkest fears only makes them seem bigger. So I thought I'd try writing here instead, and making sure to frame my thoughts in a positive, recovery-centered way. I just started working through the Panic Attack Workbook by David Carbonell because I found his website and was blown away by how much I felt like he was writing about me specifically. I thought, "This is a man who can help me with my exact problems," and I'm optimistic that will be the case. But I'm only up to chapter five so that means I'm in the knows just enough to be dangerous phase of working through recovery. My problem at this exact moment in time is that there's a Chromebook waiting for me to pick it up at Best Buy 15 minutes away, but: It's Black Friday and I know the trip will take at least twice as long as usual because of the lines. I can't stop thinking about an event I'm going to on Sunday that's causing anxiety, and I think if I don't "stay home and rest" now, I'll be too sick and anxious to go. There's a strange aching behind my right ear, my throat's a little scratchy, I'm mildly dizzy, I've got a mild headache behind my eyes, and my stomach is rumbling - clearly a sign that I'm about to be imminently and catastrophically sick and not a result of having skipped lunch and dinner. I've already been to this Best Buy once today in search of the same Chromebook. I left because the lines were long, but that was a function of impatience, not anxiety. I have very good reasons for going and picking it up today and not tomorrow, but the fact that I've already been there once today is making me think irrationally that it's risky to go again because I'm "pushing my luck". Here's what I know when I strip away the anxiety response: I've already 'scouted' the location so I know exactly how it will go - only it'll be better this time because I've pre-paid and it's later in the day. I'm going to have a lot of fun setting up my new Chromebook tonight once I get it home. How I feel today has absolutely no bearing on how I will feel on Sunday, and I have anxiety, not a physical condition, so I am not a "spoonie" as I sometimes think. All of the physical symptoms I have can be easily explained away by a lack of food, a day spent looking at my computer screen, and the anxiety itself. Even if I were to be sick in some manner during my trip, I could be home and "safe" in no more than two hours round trip - and that's being generous. So I'm going to fill my water bottle to stave off the hunger symptoms a little longer, listen to some calming music on the way to the store, and pick up my new toy. Not today, anxiety!
  7. It’s been about a few months since I’ve been on this website. The past few days haven’t been too awful, but I’ve noticed that I’ve had some bad neck aches, I got a massage about a week and a half ago, and it helped but only for a short time. I feel as though the neck pain goes up towards the bottom of my skull. I constantly havw the worry that I have a brain tumor or a brain bleed or something. I’m too scared to go to my doctor and get an MRI, because I’m afraid of what might show up. What do I do? I see my therapist and do CBT once a week, and it does help and I feel extremely safe and comfortable when I am with my therapist. I don’t want to keep living this way where am always in fear that my mind is in danger. Please someone put me at ease and tell me I’m not crazy for thinking this way. I have no other symptoms of a tumor or bleed but what if I’m One Of the few who don’t show them. This thought is always in the back of my mind.
  8. Hi all! I’m totally new to this site, but definitely not new to HA. I’ve been suffering for 11 years. I’m usually pretty good at managing it but occasionally I just get hit with a wave of anxiety that just knocks me down for weeks, sometimes even months at a time. I’m in nursing school and now that my midterms are done I have more time to focus on myself. In the last week alone I have managed to convince myself that I have ovarian cancer, bladder cancer, a kidney infection, a UTI, and now breast cancer. The other symptoms I was having are easy chalked up to a running injury I sustained on my hip a while back and stress, but I’ve always had this lump on my left breast. I exam my breasts weekly because I’m so paranoid but I feel like this thing has changed, I feel like it’s bigger! It’s still soft and moveable, I am about 4 days from starting my period so that could be the case, it’s a bit painful too but that could just be from my constant poking at it. I’m just starting to really second guess myself and I’m convincing myself that I don’t really know my own body. I just feel betrayed and confused. Normally I would go see my doctor but I moved 12 hours from home for school so I have no friends and family around either. I’m just feeling really doomed and upset about this, I’m hoping that someone has had a similar experience that can maybe help calm me down.
  9. Smalm

    Rabies fear

    I slept in a room on October 5th or 6th. I had a window open. I fear a bat could have bit me. I just have really bad anxiety because my right wrist itches and my right palm below my pinky tingles a bit as well as feeling icyhot. I am having the same sensation in my shoulder as well. I don't know why I am having such weird sensations. I am freaking out. I know I do have a problem with my right hand, but fear that this palm and wrist tingling and itching is a rabid bat bite or something. It just started the other day as far as I noticed. I need reassurance. I am freaking out! Can anyone ease my fears?
  10. Smalm

    Rabies fear

    I am freaking out so bad. I was sleeping around an open window on October 5th. I was up doing my laundry and waiting for it to be done because I needed new clothing. I slept very lightly until I heard the buzzer on the washer. I was in the room and sleeping, I fear I got bit by a bat. I was up to my face in bedding. I have an itching on my neck which is very annoying. I fear it might be a bite because they are unseen and sometimes unfelt. It feels itchy and other than that it is sonetimes hot feeling. I have been havibg this weird sensation for a week. It has been about three weeks. I fear I will die of it. I am shaking at night so violently with anxiety. Only other weird sensation is my hand feeling icy hot. I feel like I have gotten a run down feeling. I know they go to hibernate in October, but I fear for my health and safety. What is the probability of a bat getting into the room through the window, biting my neck, and leaving the room without me knowing? My family loves to have the window open and I am always checking for bats downstairs... Because they could easily make home down there with the open window making easy access. ??? I am still so anxious.
  11. So yesterday one of my little cousins was over and he had a severe cold sore outbreak on his lips. I have never had any cold sores, and I believe I do not have oral herpes. He was going around making weird noises with his lips, and he got his SPIT on my lip. I felt a piece fall right on my lip. I don't know what I am suppose to do, or what the chance is I will get it. I have never been so anxious before
  12. Hello. I've had my own bouts of hypochondria, usually relating to things like cancer (brain, pancreatic, breast) and ALS/vCJD, and I was wondering, is it normal/does anyone else here ever get hypochondria relating to those around you? Recently my hypochondria has come back over my parents, specifically my mom. I've gotten really concerned recently over the thought that she could possibly have cancer (brain cancer) or something along those lines. I don't really have anything to back me up, because she's acting as she usually does and is acting perfectly fine, but I'm still, for some reason, incredibly afraid of this possibility. In my last bout of hypochondria I had something happen like this for a while too, but I'm still feeling really anxious about this today. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this?
  13. Hello again, I got my Bloods back and everything is normal except for my white blood cells which are 0.9 under but the Nurse said not to worry about that at all as it just means infection which is probably from the virus I had. And it's not a dramatic drop or raise. So that's that. At the minute I've got back ache, stomach cramps (on and off and nothing to do with Cycle) and neck ache. The worst bit is my middle to lower back. Just aches. I'm worried because I don't know what it is. Women will understand that you get Stomach Cramps and Back Pain with periods but I finished Six days ago so that doesn't explain it. At one point I worried I had endometriosis but the doctor didn't think so. I just don't know why it's all aching. Not sure what I'm asking for here. Just curious and worried. Thanks in advance, Olivia.
  14. Where do I start? I'm a first time user of any type of forum ever. Basic details as follows: male, mid 20's, registered nurse, anxiety since as long as I can remember with the worst being health related anxiety. The short version leading up to today: My wife left me in September which was a shock to me, I spent October in a deep depression, early November had a few episodes of SVT which I was hospitalized for and by mid November when I moved back in with my parents, all hell broke loose. I was having episodes of SVT almost daily and during those times I felt awful (near syncope, throat tight, short of breath, pounding heart of course, and dizziness/lightheadedness). It continued for a little bit but it eventually stopped bothering me once I realized I was triggering it with my anxiety. After that though, the dizziness continued on for a while. Actually the dizziness is still sort of there but not to the extreme it was at at all.So the second week of November I moved back in with my parents and that's when it all began. I felt as though I had a sinus infection of sorts within the first week of being here, but a weird one at that if that's even what it was. I had headaches everyday but not in the usual sinus regions and a constant pressure type feeling in my head. My ears were super full and my hearing was very muffled, it's still not all the way better but it's a far cry from what it was. Increased post nasal drip, etc. and what I can only describe as brain fog which isn't all the way better either but much better than where it started. I was forgetful and my short term memory sucked, that scared me the worst because I just didn't feel like myself but at this point my mental clarity is coming back. I would also get these weird shots of tingling with lightheadeness and the tingling would happen anywhere in my body multiple times a day, a lot of it occurred on the left side of my head and face split right down the middle to the left which only lasted a few seconds and would fade, never true numbness. Those were most of my symptoms with that and some still persist, and now let's move on to present day. Probably the beginning of December I still had some of the aforementioned symptoms like the occasional dizziness and brain fog but now I started to have muscle twitches. At first it was just in my right calf with some in my left. Then it was both. Then it was my calves, thighs, and occasionally above my waist at random spots like my abdomen, some in my back, neck, face, tongue, eye. The twitching has died down a bit since it started which I guess? I'm going to attribute to starting to take magnesium and b12. That or it's a coincidence that it slowed during the time that I took those, idk. My muscles cramp and feel stiff as if I had been doing squats all day long and I hadn't done a thing. I remember having my girlfriend stretch out my foot one night because the arch of my foot got that bad. The cramping is now lesser but the stiffness is still there especially when I walk I can feel it in my calves mostly. When walking down stairs my legs tremble with every step. I have a more noticeable essential tremor in my hands especially my right. Now my right wrist to hand is very tight and my right hand feels very tight and not as limber as my left. My writing is becoming messy and weird things just keep happening in general. I've had a head and neck cta which was negative, brain MRI negative, past lumbar MRI years ago that showed I don't have a disc at L5-S1 with degeneration moving upward, chest ct negative, abdomen ct negative, echo good, ekg fine outside of isolated svt, basic blood work good. I recently saw my GP who thought the muscle stuff was electrolytes that were off but they were fine and laughed at me when I asked if it could be ALS saying "you can't think like that man, even if it was what can you do about it?" And that was it. Really comforting. Anyway, I'm depressed now because I know deep down that I don't have long left on this earth and I won't be able to live a full long life. I know that I'm going to die soon and it will be because I have ALS. All I do all day is drive myself crazy with reading about ALS and reading stories of it. Literally that's all I do I can't get myself to do anything else. Down time at work? Reading about ALS. Not with my girlfriend? Reading about ALS. Day off? You get the point. Looking for some encouraging words to help me through my last days here on earth although I know (or at least pretty much know based on odds) that I won't be dead tomorrow, but I am convinced fully that I only have a couple years left at best. Thanks for your time and understanding.
  15. I feel like I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and also mental illness specific hypochondria. My manifestation of my anxiety was last April. My best friend (now queerplatonic partner) was upset about something and I was trying to help him but my phone was acting up. Then I started to panic. A few minutes later my phone was working and when I sent him messages he wasn't responding right away. Then I panicked even more, thinking that I did something wrong or made him mad. Even after he responded and assured me I didn't do anything wrong or did anything to make him mad. It's been like that ever since then. Things got worse in October of last year. I started To get thoughts that I wanted to leave my QPP, then spiteful thoughts about people I saw at school. And it gets worse from there. When I would help clean the house and would have to carry a spray bottle of something and I'd see my dog I would think that i wanted to spray her in the face with it and it would make me nervous thinking about it. I didn't do it obviously but that's something that never occurred until last year. And then I would get overly sexual thoughts (involving my QPP) and I'd feel incredibly guilty about it. I constantly thought that my QPP didn't love me anymore or loved someone else more to the point of thinking that he was QPPs with someone else behind my back. Thinking about that kept me up all night and caused me so much distress. And now I've been getting thoughts about harming other people. Hurting my parents. Wanting to harm people I didn't like. I might not like someone but I dot want to harm them. I've thought about walking in front of a school bus while walking home sometimes but I never did it. It just scared me. I hate it so much and no matter what I do these thoughts come back and i obsess over them without end It's gotten to the point where I can't enjoy myself. And near the end of August this year, I made myself go into a fit of distress in panic after becoming friends with someone who has DID. For some reason I just would remember the posts they would make and my stomach was hurting when it happened so I thought when they said "our stomach hurts". They're part of a DID system so then I started to freak out thinking I was part of a DID system or had DID. It was horrible. I was sleep deprived and nervous. I kept thinking stuff like "the body is hungry" "we're going out to dinner" afterward when before I befriended them I didn't act that way. I've never expressed symptoms of DID before. I've done my research and DID manifests at childhood due to extreme trauma such as sexual abuse. I have never had childhood trauma and I've never expressed symptoms of DID or even considered myself to having DID until I met that person. And then I remembered how one of my friends thinks they have schizophrenia and remembered them saying "I talked to my parents about the voices" and then I started to think I was schizophrenic and had voices in my head even though I have no symptoms of schizophrenia or even have voices in my head. And yesterday morning I woke up feeling really bad because I was extremely stressed out about everything that was going on (dad leaving, anxiety regarding mental health) and I got some s*****al thoughts. I thought about harming myself or planning a s****de date. I won't do that I promise but. I just felt so bad. Last week or two weeks ago I was in distress too because of what was going on with Bella and still freaking out over my mental health. I would obsess over those thoughts I think and I would get an urge but. I would never act upon that urge. And also at school or when o woke up I thought about my friend who said they might have schizophrenia and when they once said "I talked to my parents about the voices" and then I started to think I had voices in my head whispering all day and it freaked me out even though I've never expressed symptoms of schizophrenia beforehand. I remember looking on the newsstand app and someone made an app as a network for those who have schizophrenia and I remembered reading it and the person said they got thoughts that went "they don't love you" and THEN I started to think that too even though I don't/didn't express symptoms beforehand And that article I read was from months ago. I should also add that I woke up a few days ago nervous after a dream where one of my friends made a post on twitter saying "I have conscious control over 3 emos in my head and I need to talk about it". When I freaked out when I thought I had DID I should also add it caused me so much distress that it made me so nervous I couldn't sleep. I remember being really sleep deprived and having weird dreams when the DID scare happened and it was just. Bad and I think I heard some things that weren't there but I think it was because of sleep deprivation. I should also add that I might've had episodes of depersonalization during the stressful time where i was freaking out over DID. I felt like I wasn't in control of my body and thought I had an alter. I've posted this onto another forum but I still haven't gotten a response and it's causing me great distress. I've been so stressed out this week and I ended up panicking and had an identity crisis last night which I think occurred because of something that I saw which made me nervous. It sucks because before that I was comfortable with my identity. I woke up incredibly anxious today and had a dream or something while sleep deprived thinking that I identified as a "dark toned nazi" and I'm terrified. Why would I think something like that? This isn't what I want. I'm not even dark skinned. I'm not a terrible person. When the DID scare happened I was scared to look at my reflection in the mirror or take pictures of myself on my phone. And after my identity crisis I can't comfort myself by thinking of my QPP and I because it makes me panic. Everything is making me so nervous and fragile. My QPP has never dealt with this and it's so hard for him too. I kept him up late just talking about what I was nervous and it was so bad. He has work today. He was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed. I'm supposed to hang out with friends today but I don't even know if I have the mental capacity to. I'm so terrified right now. I was skyping with my QPP and we were talking about a person and I looked the person up on Wikipedia and it said they had gender identity disorder and seeing that made me nervous. I was sleep deprived and kept doubting memories I had as a kid thinking I had amnesia. I hate all of this so much. So much stress is piling onto me. My QPP said that my mental health comes first. Identity and mental health are important but in this case WOULD mental health come first? I also talked to some people I trusted about all of this and they both have mental illness. One person's mother works with those who are mentally ill and talking to them about it they thought I may have GAD, hypochondria, and/or Pure-O OCD. The other person suggested I may have generalized anxiety disorder. Please give your input about everything ASAP. It's very overwhelming and even though I've gone to friends for advice i still am anxious to hear others input about this. PS: I am 14 years old. PPS: Bella is my dog and at the beginning of September she got hurt and I was really nervous something bad happened to her. She's okay now though.
  16. And near the end of August this year, I made myself go into a fit of distress in panic after becoming friends with someone who has DID. For some reason I just would remember the posts they would make and my stomach was hurting when it happened so I thought when they said "our stomach hurts". They're part of a DID system so then I started to freak out thinking I was part of a DID system or had DID. It was horrible. I was sleep deprived and nervous. I kept thinking stuff like "the body is hungry" "we're going out to dinner" afterward when before I befriended them I didn't act that way. I've never expressed symptoms of DID before. I've done my research and DID manifests at childhood due to extreme trauma such as sexual abuse. I have never had childhood trauma and I've never expressed symptoms of DID or even considered myself to having DID until I met that person. And then I remembered how one of my friends thinks they have schizophrenia and remembered them saying "I talked to my parents about the voices" and then I started to think I was schizophrenic and had voices in my head even though I have no symptoms of schizophrenia or even have voices in my head. And yesterday morning I woke up feeling really bad because I was extremely stressed out about everything that was going on (dad leaving, anxiety regarding mental health) and I got some s*****al thoughts. I thought about harming myself or planning a s****de date. I won't do that I promise but. I just felt so bad. Last week or two weeks ago I was in distress too because of what was going on with Bella (she got hurt at the beginning of September, took her to the vet. Has patellar luxation and arthritis but no broken bones) and still freaking out over my mental health. I would obsess over those thoughts I think and I would get an urge but. I would never act upon that urge. And also at school or when o woke up I thought about my friend who said they might have schizophrenia and when they once said "I talked to my parents about the voices" and then I started to think I had voices in my head whispering all day and it freaked me out even though I've never expressed symptoms of schizophrenia beforehand. I remember looking on the newsstand app and someone made an app as a network for those who have schizophrenia and I remembered reading it and the person said they got thoughts that went "they don't love you" and THEN I started to think that too even though I don't/didn't express symptoms beforehand And that article I read was from months ago. I should also add that I woke up a few days ago nervous after a dream where one of my friends made a post on twitter saying "I have conscious control over 3 emos in my head and I need to talk about it". When I freaked out when I thought I had DID I should also add it caused me so much distress that it made me so nervous I couldn't sleep. I remember being really sleep deprived and having weird dreams when the DID scare happened and it was just. Bad and I think I heard some things that weren't there but I think it was because of sleep deprivation. I should also add that I might've had episodes of depersonalization during the stressful time where i was freaking out over DID. I felt like I wasn't in control of my body and thought I had an alter. I've posted this onto another forum but I still haven't gotten a response and it's causing me great distress. And also for that same person they made a post saying they had delusions of being a god and then I started to think I was being delusional even though that's never happened before. I woke up freaking out this morning because I had a dream that I said I was a "dark toned nazi" im not dark skinned. I'm not a horrible person. Now I'm thinking that's what identify as. I watched someone unbox Pokémon cards and a Pokémon, named Arceus, is the "god" of Pokémon. And then I started to think that I'm god. I tried to calm myself down but then I started to think that before I would get delusions like that but it isn't true. I hate this so much. I've been so stressed out. No forum I've gone on has given me input or advice and it's making me distressed. I should also add last night I was very distressed and I had a picture of a musician I like in a picture frame on my bedside table. There was also a picture of me and then I thought "that's me" but I couldn't tell if it was the picture of the musician or me and then I started to think that I was being delusional again. A week or two ago I saw a Reddit post about people who were "factkin@ with youtubers and then I started to think I was factkin with a YouTuber I like I've been so stressed. I made a post on the GAD forum too so if you want to go look at that also.
  17. Hi everybody! Lately I felt symptoms of hypochondria. And I began to look for some help. I was just reading the part of this forum about hypochondria. And everywhere there are recommendations of reassurance! But we all know that reassuring yourself can only make things worse! Generally, how to stop it? Is the mechanism the same as in case of OCD? I've had OCD for many years and acceptance, not fighting with thoughts and embracing them helped me a lot. I have Ocd no more. Can I use it with hypochondria?
  18. Hello all, I'd like to hear some second thoughts on some of the things I have been experiencing lately.As of around six months ago, I began having severe panic attacks daily, sometimes several times a day. After a particularly terrible day of panic, I started researching online what could have been wrong. Of course, what came up was a plethora of heart-related subjects. Since then, I haven't stopped worrying about my health and the possibility of illness, cardiovascular ones in particular.I haven't had as many panic attacks, but each day I get symptoms on their own such as heart palpitations, chest pain/funny feeling in chest, derealization, shortness of breath or hyperventilation, tightness in my throat, shakiness, dizziness, weird sensations in my tongue, hot flashes, or various other physical symptoms. Yesterday I was laying in bed (not feelings anxious), and suddenly the right side of my body went numb, and seconds later my heart beat increased; it's never been so fast and pounding before. Today, I awoke with a twinning feeling in my chest and a numb mouth. I've never felt numbness due to panic attacks before, so you can imagine how much I panicked when that happened.I have been to my doctor once or twice as well as a pulmanologist (before these last few 'stranger' panic attacks), but none could find anything wrong. I haven't been to a cardiologist due to a lack of money, time, and frankly I'm embarrassed of the possibility of it all being in my head. My doctor said she doesn't believe it's heart related (I'm only eighteen as well). I just can't stop this fear that I'm dying though. It seems all I do is obsess over my physical symptoms and look up possibilities on the Internet (Which is a terrible idea, I know.)Are these physical symptoms a sign of illness, or do they relate to hypochondria? Could these actually be panic attacks? Is it hypersensitivity? I'm just terrified that I'm dying all the time.
  19. I was wondering if bowel movement colors can change from time to time. I am a hypochondriac and any changes frighten me,
  20. Hey guys. I just wanted to ask from people who may know... The physical side of my anxiety symptoms are out of control. I have shooting pains all around my chest area, where my heart's at, in the middle of my chest, on the right side as well as the left, etc... I also get them in my wrists, my neck, and occasionally my rib area and my gut. I'm also a chronic pulse-checker, and last night, I swear I felt my heart stop for a few seconds, on multiple occasions, which ended up keeping me awake all night in fear. I've been to the hospital several times, had several EKGs, several chest x-rays, and several blood tests, yet I'm still completely convinced something is horribly wrong with me that the doctors missed, or there's something wrong that the doctors didn't check for. Are these pains normal? Should I try to get another doctor's opinion? I feel like my heart is gonna just stop beating any second and I'm gonna drop dead. Please help, this fear is ruining my life!