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Found 19 results

  1. Hi all I am new here I have fought with anxiety mainly health anxiety and ocd for decades. I am on SSI because of it as well as outpatient. I have been married for 20 yrs. I am a mom of a 22 yr old and 16 yr old. very busy and active in our church but deep down I have been fighting since the 90's. & needless to say this new current event that's freaking everyone out is waking up every fear that I have. Jumping out of my sleep and all. really would be great to meet people who can relate. oh yea I am 44 from Philadelphia
  2. My name is Kim, I am 32 and live in MA. I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder when I was 12 years old. I also suffer from major depressive disorder, substance abuse disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. I have been in recovery for the last 3 years and have been really trying to work on myself. I keep finding myself isolating and putting up walls in all of my relationships, friendships, and pushing people away or keeping them at arms length because I have serious issues with abandonment. I avoid social situations, and spend a lot of time alone, but when I am around people I am totally fine. Its frustrating to me because I like doing things and being around people once I am, but I still avoid them as much as possible without even realizing it half the time. I also have other issues like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue disorder so I don't know if I hold back because everytime I try not to, people constantly don't understand what it is like to have all these issues and take it personally that I can't get out of bed sometimes. I don't know I'm just really tired and frustrated with not making any serious connections with others and feel like I'm wasting all this time and everything because I am too afraid to get close to anyone. I am hoping to find some new supportive, positive people to be a part of my life.
  3. I've been building great stress from putting off this important introduction of myself with the lingering fear that my existence along with any activity it could incite will ultimately be ignored and scoffed upon-- all weekend I've craved badly to simply put together a detailed greeting for myself here as well as for anxietysocialnet, and so here we are Sunday evening 7pm and I'm now pushing myself out there.. My name is Ashley, I'm in my late twenties currently residing in NYS. I live with ADHD, Anxiety, Major Depressive, Panic, PTSD, Social Anxiety/Agoraphobia, Body Dismorphic: Bulimia/Anorexia Nervosa, Self Harm: Dermatillomania/(Recovering cutter). Currently, now I'm exploring the diagnosis of Acute Stress Disorder as a whole new self born nexus inside me that has been fueled by existing traumatic stresses and events that have gone without emotional self feedback resulting sadly in much more than depersonalization.. Anyway, there's a bit into my mental health diagnostic list, it's been quite fascinating. As for enduring all that has gotten me there is a deeper complexity. If I were reading this it would help me to know that I grew up engulfed in violence and emotional abuse within my family life and I haven't been able to get away from it fully. I'm still being abused and I feel weaker than I felt 15 years ago. I have suffered the trauma of **** and years of unrelated domestic abuse from a former partner, not of which I wish to go into right now though.. However, I cannot seem to let myself trust anyone at all anymore, not anyone new.. If a conversation keeps going with a new potential friend, they message me for a few days and I feel more and more uncomfortable that I wind up feeling fearful of my phone as a whole and it's really a terrible feeling. I want to enjoy new people. I really need people in my life, but of course I question why would someone try so hard with someone whose this damaged? That they'd absolutely be better off and without complication if they found someone off a social media site or something rather than a fellow broken nerdy girl you happen to see at a computer repair store.. I do over analyze motive but I never want to be hurt again by someone I've willingly let into my life. I have never been this alone as I am now. I don't know if I "pushed" or "scared" friends away in the past as I have so many embarrassing gaps in my memory that I cannot seem to unlock, but I can remember manic episodes and a few people just walking away when all I needed was a reminder that my panicking would pass.. The kind of people who walk away instead of fight to keep something worth while even if it might be a risk aren't meant to be. They aren't wired to understand in capacity how to unconditionally care for whatever kind of challenge I am. So I keep anything and anyone as far as possible. Most of the people I grew up with very close to have overdosed or committed s****de. The thoughts that run through my mind about starting over with new is overly perplexing. My home life is inconsistent as I had agreed to live with my mother to avoid being homeless after my mental states were worsening. I didn't know I was signing on to take care of her mothers estate as well as be a literal punching bag when she runs out of pills, or money, and drinks too much cough syrup but how stupid of me to forget what it was like to live with her. I can handle the responsibility of that which she cannot in regards to her own moms affairs, but her hate for me runs so deep for trying to keep this house above water and not give her access to money that isn't hers that she's formed a resentment I've never seen in her before. The alcohol and over medication has made this blindsided jealousy of hers quite malicious. A 230 lb child, brooding at the kitchen table for hours knowing you'll eventually really want to make some coffee. She'll bait you with insults of personal inadequacies and try to incite a hurtful dialogue in which she hopes will lead to violence. I feel so numb I can't play the game any longer and it's really effecting my existing fears and anxieties that involve home. I listen to the painful moaning of my messed up mother throughout every day into the night and I'm almost positive she's ready to die. The mumbling of the insane about the failures of the past echoes in the hallway. I'm noticing a new void that's never been present and I'm not certain if I want to be acquainted with it.. Every moment I'm awake I'm shaky and ready to jump. My medicines don't seem to be working too effectively anymore. When I think I'm going to cry I don't and then I shed a few tears at a random moment. My breathing is erratic and my exercises aren't calming down the discomfort in my chest. I think of packing my backpack and going to the closest park for the night and just sleeping there but I'm still working on taking out the garbage every week and walk to the corner store without breaking into panic.. I used to escape easily in my video games but I'm losing interest in them as if they were awful work that had deadlines with zero enjoyment only bringing upon stress and upsetting me and those I'm working with, I can still try but I'm not certain how to get myself back to where I'm not jumping out of my skin every second like this.. I'm starting to find a small escape in the backyard every evening, spending most of the hours pouring myself into my writing which is actually taking me a noticeably longer time than normal on each piece, usually trailing with my mind spinning, and then I suppose I'm glad to find myself outside amongst the wind.. So thanks for reading a bit of my personal madness, it took effort to let myself put this out here but I'm really at a point where I'm unsure of what to do with absolutely no support and screaming for some form of caring direction.. I'm working on communication and I will return messages.. Thank you to this group for the support as well as the invite to be here Ashley
  4. Hi, I’m new to this site but not to anxiety. It was gone for many months. Then came back full blast this winter. I’m seeing a counselor but sometimes it’s good to check in with folk who are also on this road. Today was a rough day. I will refocus and relabel and go feed the chipmunks. I’m looking forward to interacting on this site and want to say Hi.
  5. Hi. I just wanted to post saying hi. I'm new here. I'm 23, from canada. I have severe social anxiety. I have dealt with it since i was 17 I guess. The hardest thing for me is keeping a job. It's scary thinking of going to a job 8 hours a day 5 days a week and acting like it isnt torture. I would rather stay home and be alone. I honestly don't know what I will do with my life. I have a boyfriend of 2 years and i want a marriage and babies, and I honestly never see that happening. I don't think I will ever be able to give him these things. but anyway.. a little about me: I'm a big video game , horror movie, anime and superhero nerd. Anyway yeah. (:
  6. Hey this is my first time on the site, I am almost 19 and a guy.I am unsure whether I have GAD or not so I am just trying to find out about it a little bit more and see if it matches with what I am feeling. I think that I had panic attacks when I was little, I used to have periods where I would worry a lot, but it disappeared for a while. It came back when I started high school specifically in junior and senior year. Now that I am about to start college I am worried about what might happen. I am very afraid of death and dying. I do not like to drive a lot because I am very afraid that I will crash and that I may get die. I think about how I will die and it stresses me out constantly, I am terrified about when it might happen and I hope that it is not for a long time. I also have a thing with numbers, I like the number 4, but I hate the numbers 5 and 13. When I see them. I try to avoid them at all costs. for example, when I watch a tv episode that is the 13 episode in the season, I skip it. I find that the thing with numbers gets worse when I am stressed out, like in high school or if I am really nervous about something. Sometimes when I am really nervous, I cough and have made myself throw up before. I would appreciate any help or advice. Thanks.
  7. dane

    Hello

    Hi my names Dane.
  8. Hi everyone, My name is Ashley & I will be 26 in July. I'm married and I have a daughter who will be 2 in November. I've had anxiety all my life but it got worse when my mother got sick and passed away unexpectedly when I was 16. That is when my depression started and when my anxiety got a kick start. I've tried therapy and meds. The meds I've tried have always given me horrible side effects and just made my anxiety worse. My anxiety gets so bad that my vision and distorted and I can't breathe. Just looking for people to relate to.
  9. Hello all! I am new here. I am from the US, I'm female, and I am in my young 20's. I have struggled with anxiety, panic attacks, and trouble swallowing on and off since i was a small child. I had terrible health anxiety after I moved away from the home I had grown up in my whole life. Throughout college my anxiety continued causing me major anxiety so much I was convinced I was dying. I went to an urgent care broken out in hives and crying. They gave me an antihistimine for a week, but it was all just anxiety. At the new age of 20, I developed agoraphobia (which i believe is hereditery since both my mom and dad had it and also my grandmothers both have anxiety problems). I didn't know what agoraphobia really was until i experienced it. i felt like i could not breathe. i thought i was having an allergic reaction maybe, anyphylactic shock, i'd never had that but i didn't know what else to think. i got checked out and was put on benzo and later a psychiatrist also added remeron. I absolutely hate these drugs, but I fear I'd have worse anxiety without them. I have been housebound for up to about 6 months. I actually got out of that by being forced to move. I never want to get that bad again. I want to keep making progress, but I have much further to go. I am just now starting to drive again. Holly
  10. Hi, I started up here last night. People in the chat are fun to talk to. Seems like a lot of anxietrons, myself included, I think, have a good sense of humor. Guess without it, we'd have lost our schitt by now, heh.
  11. so i kinda wanted to vent a little, this could just be my experience and i hate to be negative although i think typing this out may help me ! .. so after feeling guilty from family to be getting an education and well doing something with my life, which obviously failed since my anxiety and agoraphobia, so recently i decided i will take my time no more feeling guilty, i need to concentrate on myself for the first time, and make sure i am fit to enjoy life and everything that comes with it. its as if i need to prove im unwell, i know its hard to imagine when you have not suffered from anxiety, i just wish mental health was more known about and accepted, im tired of feeling shame for the way i am and hating myself for it,.the guilt i feel for not being able to just pop to the shop myself is unreal and its too much to hold on to recently, its a vicious circle which ends in feeling like people would be better off without the inconvenience. noone should feel like they are not good enough.. is it just me ?
  12. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site so sorry if I've posted in wrong section. I'm sarah 23 year old , i have 2 children and suffer with severe gad, panic attacks and depression and a little ocd, it all started 3 years ago when I was going through a bad time, I was just laid in bed and started feeling funny , heart racing , couldn't breathe, tingling arms and all the rest that comes with it. Ever since then I've been having panic attacks every day which I hate and its ruining my life, thing have got worse since my dad got I'll with c****r and a stroke I have developed health anxiety and I'm convinced I'm going to die. I'm constantly in an anxious state, I hardly eat and lost lots of weight due to this so feeling crap about myself at the minute. Its nice to no I'm not alone although I don't wish these horrible feelings on anyone. Looking forward to chatting with you all X
  13. Sara95x

    Hey!

    Hey! My name is sara, i have suffered with anxiety, agoraphobia which ultimately led to depression for some years now, i feel as if i am completely stuck more than ever and have joined looking for some support and maybe some ideas on how to overcome this, thanks for reading x
  14. hey everyone, this is my first post and im here because of anxiety. i guess ive had it my whole life in a way but i developed general anxiety about 4 years ago out of nowhere, about 6 months ago it then developed into serious health anxiety and not being able to stop thinking about having a chronic illness and dying. im seeing a therapist but it just feels pointless as i believe im going to die, as soon as someone mentions an illness or any symptoms i instantly have it. anyway was just curious if anyone has experienced these symptoms of anxiety as ive been getting them lately and i feel like they could be part of a bigger issue. feeling dumber and as if i cant talk properly, muscle spasms and involuntary movements, loss of coordination (although my doctor said im having a growth spurt), feel hazy and like im walking tilted, like im losing focus and cannot concentrate on anything, continuous headaches, feeling worse when im in public places, eyesight feels like its deteriorating really quick, i just feel out of it, i feel lazy and as if everything is pointless, sore joints. its getting out of control and its ruining my life. i was really active and hit the gym 5 times a week and played footy but lately ive been doing nothing and all diet has gone out the window, id like to add im 19 male and ive been to 3 doctors who have said they arent worried about me having anything at all and also had blood tests and tumor checkers and everything came back better then normal, just curious if anyone is having this issue aswell because i dont know what to do, its stopping me from doing anything i want and its hell, also like to add i went to the docs today and he said its time i get put on some anti anxiety meds and that he has no worries it could be something neurological.
  15. Hi, I'm new to this website and I am really hoping to meet people with similar anxiety issues. I've been struggling with anxiety for years now and still find it hard to do daily activities. Hopefully this website can really provide some help and support.
  16. Hi everyone, my name is Casey. I am 24 years old from the great state of Ohio (not lol) and now living in Pennsylvania. I am a mother of 3, 1 boy and 2 girls. I also have 2 stepchildren. My fiance and I have been together for over 2 years. I have been dealing with general anxiety disorder and manic depression for about 8 years now. Not exactly sure what triggered it but I had my first child 3 weeks before I turned 16 and my father passed away a month later. Things have never been the same. I have done so much since then, and mostly on impulse. I can never think clearly, and never seem to make the right decisions. I just go with the flow, and that is not always a good thing. On the outside I come off as quiet, shy, on the other hand I've heard stuck up? or mean? I am neither, just choose to keep to myself. Hopefully someone out there understands somewhat about what I'm going through. If you are looking to meet someone who is cool and down to earth, someone to talk to or someone to listen please feel free to message me!
  17. Hi, so glad this resource exists.
  18. Hi, my name is Jessi. I am new here and I have never done anything like this before. I am 26 years old and I am struggling with Agoraphobia, Anxiety, PTSD, Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, and a few other things. I have been thru so much, that I just lost all trust in people. It is so hard for me to be around them. I have been like this for almost 5 years now. I haven't had a job in 5 years. I barely leave my house. When I do I have extreme Anxiety. I can't be around crowds of people. It is really hard for me to even wake up everyday. I am a very shy and quite person, I don't open up to people very much. I'm not on any meds or have not seen a therapist in a long time. I know I need to but it is really difficult for me. I am hoping by joining this site, that I can open up a little easier, and eventually return to therapy. I have no friends that I can talk to and my family just doesn't get it. I am just broken and I have no hope for anything.
  19. Hi my name's Bob and I have GAD, agoraphobia (sp?) and severe depression. I am retired on disability. I'm married have three adult children and six grandchildren. I have two dogs with whom I spend most of my time. I don't like to leave the house without a safety person, such as my wife or one of my kids or my dogs. I dislike groups, and doctors. sometimes I get so jammed up in my head I can't move. i like to read and don't watch much tv.