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  1. This is coming from a US citizen but I guess it goes out to people in general. The news is just eating me from the inside out. All of it is negativity and bad news and talking about some really awful things. Especially when we’re talking about politics. For example: making it ok to dump waste into the environment, taking money away from people with disabilities and pre existing conditions, general hatred and bigotry, it’s just really overwhelming. I’ve found myself avoiding the news entirely recently because I just can’t handle the stress. Has anyone figured out a way to deal with news related anxiety?
  2. emzi


    So, last spring I decided to try something new. The junk in my drawers mixed with loads of leftover stuff from my childhood started to get a but too much. I thought about it all the time and then I started to look into minimalism. I thought it would be a hard and anxious process sorting and giving everything away, but it was actually pretty liberating. I guess part of that is a feeling of control, but letting go of all the obligations I felt to my stuff really opened up my life. Now I can have a lot less storage space and it helps me get ready in the morning even better because I don't have to try anything on to see if it fits. Another thing I found out is that there are really no set rules to being minimalist. It's all about what makes you happy. Want to keep your photo collage? Great. Like that watch? Keep it. Don't like that sweater, give it away. Simple. I have a large collection of hair scrunchies because my hair is a very unruly curly fluff most days and I like the choice, so I kept that. I don't have to feel guilty about it at all. In the past 5 months, I haven't felt any regret. It's helped with my anxiety a lot and I can focus on things I actually need to instead of spending all day tidying my room or trying to find something in a drawer full of empty markers. If you're thinking about it, I'd say go for it. If you're on the fence, sort through your stuff and keep the stuff you're iffy about in a bag for a couple weeks. If you don't take anything out of the bag, then you probably don't want it anyway and it can help to get rid of some of the excess in your life. Have you tried minimalism or anything cool that's helped you? Let me know
  3. So I’ve been back at university for a week now and it’s been very different. I do an acting degree which is possibly the most emotionally/physically diverse course you can think of. I am in my third year so they have turned up the heat. Last week I was in 9 hours everyday and was not even home in the evenings because I had assessment and social engagements. Lord almighty I was busy. Things slipped. I didn’t do my washing up, tidy my room, wash my clothes and I cried at the end of the second day back because I foresaw the next ten weeks as being as stressful as my first two days. I’m now in my second week back and the flow has already changed. Today I had a half day and tomorrow I have off. How amazing. This weekend I tidied my room and did all my washing and even took up crochet, a leisure activity I hope will help in my thinky thinky times I sometimes have that stop me sleeping. Ive done some really positive things despite my stress, including contacting my university council long service because I realise, even though I feel like I’m entering a good space right now, ignoring the bad moments that have happened will only suppress them. Even if I feel good, I need explanation for the bad times. Im also finding new dynamics in my relationships with people. I realise I won’t be able to see my boyfriend heeps this term because I have a full timetable but I’ve made it a positive, I normal have trouble sleeping without him because my brain starts wandering but I want to use these opportunities to train myself out of that. I’ve been spending quality time with my housemates, playing board games and having a drink which makes me feel secure in our home. I’ve been honest and sharing with my parents which makes me feel better about the fragile states I sometimes get in to. I do feel positive now and I’ll enjoy it, for as long as I can. I never plan to fall back into the hole but the next time I do, I hope I read back on this post and remember that good times can be had and I appreciated this moment in my life right now. Best health and happiness to you all, I’llbefineintheend x
  4. I did a CT Scan 5 months ago and have developed anxiety and I feel so stressed becauce of radiation. I'm affraid my body will not repair after radiation becauce of stress. Is there someone with anxeity that have done a CT?
  5. Hi Everyone I have been struggling for the last 7 months with constant tingling/twitching/numbness on the left side of my face. I won't go through all the details here but I've had the all clear from Neurologists and am now seeing a Chiropractor as the only possible conclusion at this stage is that its caused by chronic muscle tension in my neck/shoulder/jaw area which is pinching the nerve. (its a daily battle to hold on to this belief and not worry its something worse!). I have been reading a lot about chronic muscle tension and its physical effects. I have a history with stress and anxiety and in the past 8 years have been dealing with fertility treatments and all the emotional baggage that comes with that. I often think Ive coped really well but after reading a lot about muscle tension caused by stress etc... I feel like my coping mechanisms may well have been storing all that emotional pain, stress and worry in my muscles and this facial thing is the tipping point for my body. The logical part of my brain screams yes to all of this- it makes so much sense. But when the tingling has been so constant and long lived, (and worse lately) its hard to focus on that theory and how I can fix it. I just want to start to feel better even it takes a good while to get sorted. If I could just feel some improvement, it would help me so much. I feel like I'm stuck in an infinite loop of: Emotional baggage/stress from life and Infertility in particular ---> chronic muscle tension/surpressed emotion in order to cope ---> Painful neck and shoulder----> CONSTANT tingling in face----> fear over why its tingling----> guilt over how the fear dominates me and makes it hard to do normal stuff (work is hard- I work for myself) ----> continued background IVF stuff ---> worry that my face requires medication to control----> fear and guilt that that medication will put an end to IVF treatment as I cant take it while trying to conceive----> and back round again!! So if muscle tension caused by all this stress is hopefully at the root of this, then I NEED to find a way to get my muscles out of their hypertonic state. This is more than "Take a nice hot bath". How do I deal with this? Practically and emotionally? Life is life, I cant remove infertility as a thing from my life experience. It is what it is and the only hope of having children is to keep going, see this through and even if it doesn't work, I know I can adopt. either way, its a battle that I have to endure. I cant avoid this. So how do I contend with life without sustaining and worsening my muscle tension? Im at a loss. Any ideas guys?
  6. Hi I just signed up for AC after a few months struggling with what I have been told is a 'panic disorder'. (i'm still not convinced i'm not dying, which definitely doesn't help the anxiety.) Recently i've been struggling with this strange discomfort/pain in the left side of my chest and left arm pit. It comes and goes, but is almost present. I can feel this weird pressure/tension in the top of my left breast, the left side of my chest, my arm pit, and sometimes it radiates somewhat down the inside of my left arm or down the left side of my ribcage. Originally, I believed it was related to my heart, but after multiple EKG's, tons of blood tests, an echo, and a chest xray all came back normal, my doctor is convinced that it is related to my anxiety. It feels like a muscle or nerve thing, but my doctor doesn't see the need for those tests. There's no swelling in my chest and I can't pinpoint where the discomfort is coming from, it truly makes me feel like I am losing my mind. This new anxiety started at the beginning of January, after returning from visiting my parents abroad. About 4 hours after landing I felt this hard thud in my chest, I got super dizzy almost collapsed when I stood up, my heart was racing and my legs were shaking uncontrollably. I went to the ER thinking I was having some sort of heart episode, but they did a bunch of blood tests, an ekg, and a chest X-ray which all came back normal. They hooked me up to 2 IV's which brought my heart rate down, they attributed everything to dehydration and sent me home. A few days later I was watching TV when all of a sudden my legs started to shake uncontrollably again, my heart started to race, my chest was incredibly tight, and I honestly thought that I was going to die. I went back to the ER in the morning and they did more tests but couldn't find anything. They told me I most likely experienced a panic attack and to talk to a therapist It's now almost the end of February, and i've experienced around 5 of these panic attacks. It starts with the shaking/seizing of my legs, the pain in my chest is multiplied by 100, my heart races, I can feel extremely hot or freezing cold at the same time, it feels like theres fire in my veins spreading from my neck down my chest and back, and when it happens theres nothing I can do but sit there feeling like i'm dying. It's terrifying. I absolutely hate living this way. I keep hoping its muscular or a nerve, at least those are treatable with medicine and go away. Now, when I start to feel the pain in my chest it automatically sets off my anxiety because i'm thinking about it. Sometimes my neck feels really weird and tight, it feels somewhat spastic. The neck stiffness/spasms and leg seizures made me think it was neurologic. I get nervous that one of these attacks will happen while i'm in class, luckily so far I that hasn't happened. I've been in Zoloft for almost a month and haven't seen much improvement. My doctor dismisses this pain and basically just sends me home to deal with it on my own but it's difficult when you don't know what you're dealing with. I was on klonopin for a month, 1.0-1.5 mg could usually bring me out of that panic state. I haven't spoken to anyone this in depth about how it makes me feel. I'm sharing my story to see if anyone experiences similar symptoms, and with the hope that someone struggling with similar issues takes comfort that they're not alone
  7. Hey everyone. Names Jeff. 33 years old. Use to post my topics on AnxietyZone's forum but they got shut down in December. Looking for a new thread to help me from time to time and hopefully I can help others as well from my experience. Quick history about me. Was under severe stress, anxiety and depression for past couple years due to many hard life events that took place. Didn't manage my stress well with it all. On April 15th, I started developing a few weird symptoms. Over the course of the next 60 days, I developed 25 different neurological symptoms. I swear to you...I had so many physical symptoms. I was in and out of emergency rooms, countless doctor visits and testing including two neuro's, nautropaths and so on. All tests came back fine.. Except for some blood in my urine and slightly high RBC's. This fueled the fire of worry. But later tests showed everything clear and back in normal range. All doctors gave me the all clear. Total "episode" of this period of my life lasted 6 full months. It was the scariest 6 months of my entire life. A pure hell of worry. Doctors finally diagnosed me with BFS syndrome which I knew nothing about. I guess it's a benign condition and does not do any harm. However, the experience has given me one hell of a wake up call and has made me drastically changed my lifestyle. Better nutrition, better sleep, meditation, exercise, less alcohol etc. I've learned to manage stress better now and most symptoms have went completely away. I still get random twitching from time to time throughout my body in different parts. Still get dizzy spells. Weird bowel movements and so on. They really do come about when my stress is higher than usual but now that I know it's nothing serious, I don't let the fear take hold and the symptoms usually only last a few minutes when they do appear. I still struggle with health anxiety and fear one day soon I will get a nasty illness like MS or cancer. Mainly because I know 21 close people to me that have or have had a serious illness. All under 38 years old. Were talking, three people with MS (including my ex girlfriend), one with ALS, four with Stage 4 Cancers, one with Celiac disease, four with HIV, two with Crohns Disease, two with Diabetes, one with emphysema, one with a brain tumor and so on. Talking to my father, mother and other folks now in their late 60's about disease always leaves me uncomfortable. Mainly because they always emphasize how they never knew anyone that had serious illnesses when they were in their 30's like me. They always say "diseases were what old people got....not young kids. Somethings out of whack in today's culture. Young kids should not be getting such serious illnesses." Now maybe they just didn't have as many friends or acquaintances as I do. Haha. That is a possibility. But I have to does seem like I hear about someone knew getting diagnosed with an illness every month or so. Seems to be the norm the past year and a half for me. A few doctors have even said they've noticed a large increase the past five years of young folks getting really sick. Again, I just struggle from time to time and try not to wonder if it will be my time sooner than I expect. But luckily for the time being, doctors have given me the all clear and I feel good for the most part. Excited to be on this forum! Thanks for having me. Jeff Seattle, WA
  8. After watch Guy Winch at TED about Emotional First Aid I got really pump up and it's look good for me, So I decided to create content about It. Hope you like it. So what it emotional first aid come for ? Imagine you are in park, observing a group of children playing around on the playground. Apparently, the taller of the two are pissed off because the shorter keeps following him around. Then he pushes the other, causing the latter to fall and scrape his knee. Three other kids stop playing. One runs to her home and come back carrying a first aid kid. Everybody is familiar with first aid kid, the little white box with a red cross on its front surface. The kid with first aid kid put a band aid over the fallen kid’s knees, and they’re back to playing. In a glance, it’s all sunshine and rainbow again for those children. But are they really? Everybody worry about the fallen kid’s knee, but it’s been treated and it will be okay. It will heal. But, who worry about the fallen kid’s heart? His feeling is very hurt, and it doesn’t show but from that time the younger kid is afraid to approach older boy. But there is no such first aid kit for the boy’s heart. No band aid to heal his hurt feeling and to recover his trauma. But, you see, just because it doesn’t visible to eyes, doesn’t mean emotional injury doesn’t need band aid. Because human knows the risk of leaving physical wound or illness untreated, they make first aid kid: a box full of easy to reach medication and health tools. Yet despite knowing the risk of untreated injury, people seem wonderfully indifferent toward emotional injury. But how about leaving emotional injury ? So, what do we need to do to make this emotional first aid? According to the book, the treatment will be different according to each type of the emotional injuries: rejection, loneliness, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self esteem. Let's discuss one by one Loneliness Loneliness isn’t a ‘door shut on your face’ type of hurt like rejection. It comes slowly, creeping between your day and night, even when you’re surrounded with people. Loneliness makes you sad, constantly on guard and tends to mistrust other people. Often because of that it drives people away, so you’re going to be even lonelier. how about the first aid for loneliness ? Stop bullying yourself !!! We frown upon bullying when we see one, yet we often bully our own selves. We often blame ourself for everything that goes wrong, even when those things are just coincident. In our head, we often call ourselves ugly, stupid, and other demeaning words. When we succeed, we seldom praise ourselves. In fact, bullying ourselves will just add negative thinking into our head. When we’re too deep in negative thinking, we may regard everything in life with negative lens, including connecting to people. That makes us even lonelier. Borrow other people’s eyes Are you afraid you won’t meet other people’s expectation when you’re interacting with them? Let me ask you something. Are you afraid other people won’t meet your expectation when they’re interacting with you? No, right? You don’t expect something from others when you’re casually interacting with them, except basic manner of course. So, remember that that’s what exactly other people think of you in conversation: they don’t expect anything from you. Knowing this will help you relax in conversation. For rejection, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self esteem, I will continue it If this is post get a good respond ;):throb: Source
  9. Hello! How y'all doing today? I found myself back on this forum after a couple years when we shared helpful advice on my anxiety related worries. I've been battling with a huge challenge for a year now. I believe some of you might relate to this – let me tell you. I was doing good in my life – working my ass off at school and work, traveling, being healthy, going to gym, having a girlfriend, etc. In a time frame of two years the pushing and too little sleep burnt me out eventually. Learned my lessons there. I went to the doctor and it was diagnosed as a burnout. Now here I am, trying to get myself back in life so to speak. I've been recovering for almost a year now and been careful about my diet, sleep hygiene and now I've started taking walks in the morning. I do a little yoga and meditation daily and try to write down my thoughts every now and then. The process is taking longer than I could ever imagine. The thing is I feel fed up with surviving on my own and being tired all the time; the constant trying and trying and it feels close to not progressing at all. I'm battling with my final work at the same time to get graduated from school but the work feels so huge and difficult that it eats me inside. I can barely work with it for one to three hours per day. I've been depressed battling with all of this – therefore I feel "stuck" at life. I can't even think about my future because I feel like I'm drowned in my school work and recovery, and I can't find the energy to do more of it every day. Sometimes I skip doing the work because I feel so exhausted just waking up. And I feel this recovering and unfinished work is prolonging my future plans because I can't deal with them both properly. Life is in a stand-by mode at the moment. I just want to feel energized and motivated again and be done with my graduation – to continue my life. I see no light in the end of the tunnel right now. I'm not totally sure which category this issue exactly goes to but I hope some of you can relate in your own way and share some thoughts. We're in this together. Any thoughts?
  10. I was recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety by my Psychiatrist. I was so afraid to begin seeing a Psychiatrist, but I eventually did and have been to 2 sessions so far. He prescribed me 3 medications. Lexapro, Seroquel, and Klonopin. I am to take the Lexapro and Seroquel with a Klonopin at bedtime, and an additional 2 klonopin throughout the day. Has anyone had success with these medications. Some days I feel ok and others I don't.
  11. I am not sure if someone else has ever felt something so rediculous as mine but I'll share anyways. I was diagnosed with GAD and on medications. My GAD tend to come and go, but what I dont understand is the reason. I got married couple of months ago and even though I always wanted to get married and have a loving partner which I do, I have these repetative negative thoughts in my mind that mayby when she comes (she is out of the country waiting immigration) I will have a lot on me, I won't have time, there will be lot of problems since I sometimes dont talk much and she loves to talk, and I might start having panic attacks when looking at her. We chat great over skype and everything and we love each other but its just this negative thought of having her around always will make me crazy or increase my anxiety even though I dont know why I feel like that since she is so sweet and loving. I don't know if these are normal marriage thoughts or my GAD. I just dont want to think or feel like this and just want to feel comfortable with my wife and look to her as my saviour and someone I can goto when I have this. But, I am afraid if I tell her these are my thoughts, she might think I don't love her and will hurt her bad since they are related to her so all of these things just keep running in my mind and make me even more stressed and depressed. Any help is appreciated.
  12. Hi. This is me with an awkward introduction I'm a single mama to an 11-going-on-15 year old with severe ADHD and ODD as well as a history of trauma resulting in some bonus anger and emotional issues. We have been through the ringer and I have been managing too much completely on my own for way too long. We've always had high stress and struggles but I have always thought of myself as resilient - a 'git' er done girl', but 4 years ago I developed GAD and started having panic attacks and depression which make all the rest so much more overwhelming. I'm currently off work briefly as my anxiety and stress have been spinning out of control, I haven't been eating or resting well, and I'm run down and exhausted. I'm looking for somewhere to come for support and to be supportive while I try to work my way back up to some peace.
  13. Hello! I wanted to share something going on with me that is separate from my anxiety/panic/depression. (The story of why I have anxiety/panic/depression does not seem like an important detail to tell. I only want to share the journey of recovery.) For a few years now I've had trouble with my lower back. Nothing too serious (so I thought). If I began to feel pain I would just take it easy for a few days and treat it with rest, ice, and Aleve. BUT about a month or so ago, right after my anxiety/panic returned, I woke up with excruciating pain down my whole left leg. I couldn't feel my toes or outside of my left foot. I could barely walk. I started taking heavy doses of Motrin and using ice, but it was no use. I figured the pain would eventually subside but it wouldn't let up. Finally I went to my doc and they kind of down played it, thinking I was just being sensitive. They sent me for Xrays and put me on a prescription strength Aleve (naproxen). They also put in a request for an MRI. Long story short they rejected my MRI 3 times. I went back my Doc for a different problem and I told him the problem was persisting. I received a referral to the spine specialist. Finally the specialist got me and MRI and I began physical therapy. Well, yesterday I saw the specialist to go over the's not good. I have two herniated discs. One of which is so degenerated that there is practically no disc between the vertebrae. The disc is laying onto of the sciatic nerve completely covering it. If that isn't repaired, I could have permanent damage of the nerve forever. Which means numb foot for the rest of my life. (Oh, did I mention I am a dance teacher for a living so MOVING is my livelihood?) He said he may have to do surgery! I DO NOT WANT SURGERY! I don't want to take any narcotics because it messes with my anxiety. So for now, I will continue PT and they're going to give me cortisol shots! Yuck. And if that doesn't work I will get "minimally invasive" surgery to shave down the disc off the nerve. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm very upset because this is a lifelong problem and I am only 24. I'm scared it will ruin my career. I can't run, lunge, or squat. So my gym activity is very very limited. This is exacerbating my anxiety/panic because it is an additional stressor that affects my overall attitude plus increases my levels of tension in the body. Now I am seeing two types of therapists...a cognitive behavioral therapists and a physical therapist. I am not a healthy girl right now and I am frustrated and scared. I'm putting so much effort into getting better it exhausts me. My social life has suffered a lot but I everyone is telling me that I HAVE to take care of myself right now and put ME first. I have difficulty with that. If anyone is reading this, did you ever experience a significant injury like mine? How did you overcome it? Did it make your anxiety worse? How did you cope? Thanks for the read. Sorry to ramble.
  14. I have severe anxiety, panic disorder and PTSD. I've had a lot of death in the past few years and I feel as though every day I am worrying about not being here, worried something bad is going to happen and constantly stressed about every single choice I make. It's really draining. I can barely remember what it's like to feel happiness as every time I do have a moment of pure joy, I get anxious that I'm focusing on it too much and that too will be taken away. I have been avoiding prescription medications as the idea of not feeling anything at all worries me. I'm not sure if maybe feeling like I do now is better as at least I'm feeling something. No real question here but if someone can relate or has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Thank you for reading.
  15. Hi, I'm Jackson and I just signed up to this site. I'm 21 years old and for the past few months I've been having some pretty frightening physical symptoms of what I hope is anxiety. I have had previous anxiety/social anxiety early in childhood and was okay until my fear of HIV came a long a several months ago. It was probably the most stressful time waiting for those blood tests to come back but they did and all was clear.. However, most recently I've been having an overwhelming fear or ALS that's consuming my day to day life. I have muscle twitching all over, mostly in the legs calve/thighs and I feel drained/fatigued, I get burning sensations that run through my legs as well as electric shock/tickling sensations and tingling. The muscle twitching is more noticeable at night however is happens throughout the day, usually when I'm working/moving around I don't notice it at all. I don't even have the courage to look up muscle twitching now because the fear of such a horrible horrible disease frightens me. I realize that there has to be clinical progressive weakness for an ALS diagnosis which I am reluctant to say I haven't had (knock on wood). Anyways just letting you into whats happening in my life! Anyone else have/had a similar experience with a fear of neurological diseases? Most appreciated
  16. Hi all! I am so frustrated with this illness. I have been doing/trying everything and it just seems as if I take 2 steps forwards and 5 steps back. I just need your support, and hearing from others who are going through this or that can relate will truly help. Today has been so emotional for me, and I am so tired of living like this. Here's my back story: History: I had an amazing childhood! Was a typical kid, played sports, ran track from middle school all the way through college. I've traveled all over, vacationed, had lots of fun, made great friends and lived a pretty normal life. 2013: I still worked out but my food intake was pretty bad lol. I was married in 2011 and had a baby 2012. I had an awesome job and life was good. Around 2013, I noticed when I was driving my grandmother home at night on the freeway, I felt this intense "outer body experience" (unbeknownst to me as panic/anxiety). I was about to pull over but I didn't want to freak her out so I just fought through it, and wrote it off as some sort of gas fumes coming from the cars into my vents. This happened many once or twice more while driving at night on the freeway, but I just ignored it. 2014 My life started to change a bit, my job became extremely demanding, my marriage was crumbling because we were neglecting each other. 2 hour commutes each way, hustling to get to daycare, and scramble to make dinner, all to do it again for 5 days. Weekends were made to get laundry, groceries, and clean up our home as I also work a part time job Saturdays. There was no more time for me, I was always on the go! Feb 2015: This is when disaster strikes. My son was ill for a few days, so as mom, I didn't sleep. My husband and I decided to call out of work as we did not sleep. I decided to go to the gym. I started working out and noticed heart palpitations, but ignored it. Then all of a sudden I had the outer body experience again. I kind of brushed it off but had it in the back of my head. 3 days later, I taught my dance class after work, and 30 minutes later i grabbed my head and had a real intense "out body experience" . I thought I was about to die in front of the class. My heart was pounding, and my thoughts were racing "something bad is happening to me" and I didn't know how to go about things. As I drove home, I began to freak out on the freeway. I didn't know whether I should have pulled over or scream at the top of my lungs, I just felt like I was going bat Shyt crazy and I didn't know why. I thought maybe my workouts are too intense and I need to slow down. It seem to be the most logical answer since thats when these episodes started to occur most frequently. The next day, i was talking about it with my mother then BAM! It started to hit me again. The outer body experience! "oh Shyt mom its happening" I hung up on her so fast and try to calm myself. However the irrational thoughts started pouring in "what's happening to me?" "Do I have a heart issues?" The more I thought, the more my heart pounded, my palms became sweaty. I sat down and thought just calm down...but the more I tried to talk to morsel, it just seem like I was pouring gasoline on a fire! I felt like I had the Panic Demon sitting on my shoulder saying "guys she's not down yet, she's a fighter...lets crank it up a notch". They started to coming in like a Tsunami! My chest started to tighten up, I could breath, and my legs and hands went numb. I collapse in my husbands arms while my 3 year old son was eating dinner. At this point I knew I was dying. I told my husband to call 911 and I can't believe I'm going to die in front of my family. I was rushed to the hospital to only be told I was stressed. Stressed...really??? No way, this is bull shyt. In my mind, I was healthy and I worked out to relieve stress, and this couldn't possibly the cause of this non sense. I followed up with my primary care doctor who told me I had just had a Panic attack and I have anxiety. I heard nothing else after that, as she tried to explain what happened. Everything else sounded like Charlie Brown. I couldn't believe she was prescribing Xanax (which made me feel depressed by the way). After this, my life has never been the same, and a can of worms was now opened. April 2015 I took off work for a bout month and a half. I was devistated and crushed. I just felt like something terrible happened to me and everyone was brushing it off because I was young (32yrs old). When I went back to work, I could no longer sit in traffic, ride the metro, take the bus or cross the street without having a panic attack. I was miserable!!! I had people wondering and asking me why I was out so long, and I was so embarrassed to tell them because Im having panic attacks and I don't know why. I could no longer keep it up. The more I went to work, the worse my symptoms became. So I then made the hardest decision in my life, and that was to resign from my dream job (which was a blessing). As soon as I resigned my symptoms started to subside within DAYS! I WAS happy again! I was able to drive on the freeway and teach my dance class again. Life was great! So I thought. I gave up my dance class as I didn't want to add additional stress. However, it seem like once I stopped working out, my symptoms started to slowly creep back. July 2015 I had another MAJOR panic attack while driving on a dark road with no lights. I thought my life was over! I couldn't see, hear, or comprehend anything. I felt as if I had just taken 4 shots of patron, and mixed it with Jamerson. "This can't be normal! This has to be some type of brain disease!" Currently I eat EXTREMELY CLEAN. Almost raw. I still eat meat and I take magnesium at night. I have problems sleeping, and when I do sleep its not quality sleep. The only thing I drink is water. I do not spoke and I don't drink. I pray every morning and show gratitude before I open my eyes. I mediate and stretch before I do leave my bedroom. I speak positive affirmations daily and try to live in the moment. I try to stay optimistic even on the days I struggle with. I have migraines 2 times a month. My skin is extremely dry and now I starting to have stomach issues. I was told I may have an ulcer, and the GT wants to do and endoscopy. I really do not want to do that as I have never been put to sleep. My left arm is constantly numb. I've seen a cardiologist, neurologist, a wellness Doctors, and I had CT scans, etc. Everything is clear. I am slightly anemic but I have been that way all of my life. Today Was emotional for me. I just broke down. I feel like I walk around wearing a big "S" on my chest and try to stay strong, but today I failed. My son wanted to go to the park, but as we walked my Panic/Anxiety started to flare up. I tried to fight it but I couldn't, I tried to breath the way I do when I mediate, to no avail. I didn't want something to happen to me and he was left by himself, so I turned around. That was hard for me to swallow. He shouldn't have to suffer because of his mother. For that reason my entire system shut down. I just feel like this in no way to live life. I am so tired of taking 3 steps forward to be knocked back down. I love nature, I love walking, working out. I find it hard to just take a walk because my body starts prepping for another Panic attack. I feel like I am trapped in someone's body and I want out. I notice when I don't sleep well or eat enough, my aniexy/panic is heighten. I haven't had quality sleep since January 2015. I get tired of staying up to 2/3 am just to pass out to go to sleep. I have the greatest support system in the world. I just feel like I am a burden on my family at times. I just want to feel normal again. I apologize for the novel and Typos. I didn't re-read this post because I started to get a migraine typing this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I pray I wake up tomorrow with a better start. I just don't know what else to do. If you read this entire post. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Even if you don't respond, please just pray for me Positive vibes sent you all. Peace and blessings to each and every one of you!
  17. Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've been here and in a way that's a good thing because for a while there, my anxiety seemed to be kept at bay. As I am in the health anxiety forum, that is obviously my problem. I am always always scared of some symptom that I feel or worse, a symptom that my son encounters. Let me give you an example, a couple of months ago, back in December, my son had a slight headache two days in a row. While I knew the causes, a part of me could not stop thinking the worst. After those two days, no more headaches so my anxiety gradually faded. To be honest, I think - no I know my health anxiety always rears its ugly head when I'm in a stressful situation. And that indeed I am. It started out last November when the company I worked for - a start up started paying us late. Since then it was a constant battle with them to get paid. In the middle of this period, that's when my son, who is 9, got his headaches. Then Christmas came and we weren't really doing much work wise, so the stress level went down, but it went up again when during the first week of January, my company laid me off. To say that I was stressed is an understatement. Thankfully though, not long after that, I was offered a job. The job that is a dream come true in a sense - because it means moving to Thailand for 6 months for training. But then I would have to leave my son. So that stressed me all over again. The fear I had over this pain I kept having on my left arm since stupidly pulling and pushing a very heavy wooden cabinet started gnawing at me. I kept thing what if it was something awful. Then I finally decide that I won't take the job in Thailand, just recently, but to take another job where I am but then I'm getting stressed again because I keep anticipating all my friends are going to tell me I'm being stupid for not going. And our maid when on vacation so I have a heavier load of chores than normal which includes feeding the dog - our yard dog. Now our dog is quite excitable and jumps all over especially when he sees me and yesterday, after I fed him I saw I had a wound in my hand - no he did not bite me - but I started thinking what if he got saliva on me while he was barking and jumping and it got into the wound. The wound is very small, like pin-sized but still it's an open wound. And mind you, I know that getting rabies at this point from my dog - who just had his annual rabies shot last Jan 13 would be next to impossible. But my mind keeps thinking what if what if? He is not with other animals. He has his own fenced off yard that he runs around on day in and day out - so there are no other animals with him who can bite him. So again impossible. And logically in my head, I know our previous dog, Yoda, was one who loved going off on his own in our neighborhood (permitted here) and he would come home sometimes with bites from dogs he has played with or fought with yet, I never got scared of getting anything from him. And Yoda was my brother's dog so he took charge of him and I don't even know if Yoda had shots but Ewok is mine and I know that he has shots, so why am I more scared of getting something from Ewok but not with Yoda? It's crazy. I'm so anxious that I feel kind of hot right now. I just took my temperature and it's 36.9 - no fever - but I feel like I'm not. I know it's the anxiety talking and logically I'm being stupid but I can't help it. It's always like this with me. I hate it so much. I'm always obsessing over some disease. And I don't want to do that anymore. I probably should just bite the bullet and go to a psychiatrist who can prescribe me meds because I can't do this anymore. I can still function, but the worry and stress over these what if scenarios in my head are probably going to make actually sick and I do not want that. I hope you guys can help me. I know a lot of you deal with the same issues. I do not have medication but maybe there are exercises or things you guys do that you can advise me on to help me out? Thank you so much in advance for your help. xoxo Jo
  18. Hello all, I've been dealing with anxiety issues for the last 8 months. I had a full panel of test ran back in February and was told I was fine. However, I completely stopped working out because thats when everything started. It seems like my heart palpitations come and go. I can be watching a movie, laying down, walking up the stairs or driving (I have terrible driving anxiety). For the last two months my left chest seems to ache or feel like its being squeezed when I get my heart rate up to a certain level, or if I try to work out. I never in my life had palpitations working out. Now I can't go walking or anything! I could talk to someone and the slightest bid of nerves and my heart flutters. I just shampooed my hair in the shower and started getting palpitations. I feel like my body is registering any type of exertion as stress. Is this normal? Could it be more?? I had a 24hour monitored on yesterday and a stress test today. All were fine. While they were hooking me up, my heart was jumping irregular and they were able to catch in on the screen. I was fine on the treadmill. However, once my heart rate started to slow down, my heart was jumping all over the place again. I don't know if it was because I was thinking about my heart jumping around because my heart rate was so high or what. So as of right now, I have the dull achy feeling in my chest on the left side. I don't know if its anxiety or my heart is really stressed to the max. I keep thinking about my cousin who is only 40 and needs a heart transplant all because she was stressed (ex police officer with a lot of family issues). She also had anxiety. She is not a constant thought, but every time I have heart palpitations, I just try and relax to keep them from happening, but I get so flustered. I know that palpitations are normal, and I can deal with that. I used to get them before I started dealing with anxiety. What I can't handle is the amount of time its happening and the cause.. simple things like shampooing my hair or cutting a frozen piece of meat or any little type of exertion. I'm only 32, don't smoke, don't drink, don't drink sodas, eat extremely healthy, no caffiene, etc. Maybe Its hormone related? Has anyone else dealt with heart palpitations and achiness from mild exertion???
  19. I don't know if I'm posting this under the right topic. I just googled and signed up on this forum because I trust no one to share how I'm feeling right now. A year ago I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety disorder and Generalized Anxiety disorder. I took the medication for some time but lost my prescription this month. And I'm in my hometown and I am not taking my medication. My doctor is going to be pissed. I write short stories , poems and shit and post it on facebook and few girls are kinda interested in me because of that. I am too shy or anxious for meet them so I usually try long distance relationships. But I had to break up with a girl I had an online relationship with. I just couldn't take it anymore. We both had anxieties and nobody can understand me as good as she did but there was no way I was going to be with her. I don't even have a passport yet for the god's sake and I am going back to college again and I don't know where my future might lead me. Quitting college and again getting back makes me quite anxious too. Like wtf.. I don't know shit. I hope I will able to pick up on school and not end up depressed like in high school. So, yeah.. I kinda fell in love with one girl who writes too and is from same town I'm from and studies in same city, I study in. But the thing is she had a boyfriend, who she hasn't broken up with yet, officially. She is in a secret relationship with me. She says she loves me, is not going to break my heart and shit and she wants to date me but she will need a couple of years to make it public? Wth? One reason might be because we are from really traditional place and she doesn't want her family to find out or she might be thinking it might not work because of some reason. One thing that scares me is .. Is she going to take her boyfriend back if he comes are cries in front of her? Another thing that scares me is whether I'm being played. But I did put these insecurities in front of her and she's like "get and job in 8 years and marry me". Then again she gets jealous of my girl best friend so .. meh.. idk ... The real issue with me is that I'm a guy who has been faking confidence. I'm out of medication and I can't obtain them this month by any means. Heck, I don't even know the routes of city I live in. And being an anxious guy and having shitty data connection for navigation and a shitty phone overall sucks. She wants to go to a movie with me next month if everything works out fine. She would want to go on more dates. And I don't even know if I'm always going to be scared of her? I know I'm a loser.. I'm pathetic.. I might now deserve her but this is how I am.. too scared to do anything but I went out and tried and it worked and here I am .. still scared :/
  20. Hello, Finally I found a place to write down my problem without being judged from family. All started once I found my first serious job. I finished Computer Science in college, and I found a job in a big firm as a developer last year. In the second month I developed insomnia. One day no sleep, 2 days, 3 days and so one. 2 years later now, and still I m worrying about sleep. Left my previous job and went to another one as an intern with very little money, hoping that this situation will comfort my mind and make me feel as " I don't have so much to do"... Not any different at all. Now, my symptoms are... It takes me 2 hours to fall asleep, then I wake up after 3 hours exactly and it takes me another 3-4 hours to sleep again... after a while I have to go work.... And I was going like this !! And in the weekends I was fine... Today is Saturday and I couldn't sleep for more than 3 hours... Thoughts are racing my mind and I cant take them away...!! What I did till now about this problem: Went to 4 different psychologists, Noone helped me. Went to psychiatrist.--> gave me Zanax its addictive I didnt try it. Tried over a million times to kick away the bad thoughts. NOTHING WORKS FOR ME, I m desperate I think I should kill myself. I dont have life, I cant function normally.. This week I ll quit my job... Anyone feeling like me?? Anyone had severe insomnia? Please give me any suggestion..
  21. Hello! So next week I am starting my final teaching rounds which last for 6 weeks and I am so bloody nervous about it. I am so worried that I won't do well and that something bad will happen. But I know I will be fine, because every other time I have been on placement I have done really well despite being nervous and stressed. I think I need to start trusting myself and recognise my abilities and ability to cope with this. I always make it through and I always do well. The longest round Ive done was 4 weeks so what is 2 weeks more? I know I can do it and I think its mainly the anticipatory anxiety that is bothering me. Once I start and I get into a routine I will be more focused and less worried. I always get worried when I have to start something. I have been to the school for two weeks already so I know the class and I know my supervising teacher and the school is lovely so in essence I have nothing to worry about but obviously I worry anyway lol. I just get concerned about doing well and not stuffing it up. I am also worried about whether I can cope for 6 weeks. I know I can and that it will go really fast if I dont think about it too much so I think that is what I will focus on. I will try not to worry about how many days I have left or whatever, but focus on enjoying the experience and seeing it as a fantastic learning opportunity. I know I am fully capable and I can deal with it, it is always the lead up that makes me stress. I am always afraid of not doing well and of not doing the right thing but I know I will be okay and that everything will be fine because I can do it and Ive done this 5 times before. I just need to trust myself and let go of any concerns, because I am capable and I can cope. Its just hard to believe that sometimes. Anxiety just doesnt let you. But I will do all of the right things relaxing and meditating to keep myself balanced. I will update tomorrow - Georgia xo
  22. Hello to all, I'm new here so hi to all. Ok, i've had GAD/Health Anxiety for 15 years on and off. I had thought i had overcome it as i had a good few years of feeling relatively balanced and 'normal'. Last February however, i developed Tinnitus which started the ball rolling and the collapse back in to health anxiety. I'm currently awaiting both an MRI for the Tinnitus and CBT for my stress. One thing that started before my fall back in to the hole of anxiety was these periods of lightheadedness which would come and go. I had a spell of them a few years ago and had a heart monitor fitted for 24 hours. All came back fine. I find these spells sometimes go when i eat something so i recently was tested for Diabetes... all fine. However, i still sometimes get relief by eating but not always. Sometimes breathing exercises help, sometimes they dont. My question is, could what i'm experiencing really be anxiety driven? It's a horrid symptom which leaves me drained and weak. I've read before (Dr Google.. sorry) that adrenal fatigue can cause similar symptoms. Is this possible? Thanks in advance all Mark
  23. Hello, my name is Caroline. I'm new to both this website, and panic attacks. I haven't really been diagnosed or anything, but my father and mother have had panic attacks before, and my symptoms match up. I was even hospitalized not too long ago. (About a day or so ago. My days feel so mixed up now.) They prescribed me some medication for these panic attacks as well. I had my first one about a week ago, after smoking marijuana. After that terrible day, I have had non stop panic attacks. It felt so weird.. I felt as though I could not control my body. I felt like I lost control. The first thing I said to my mother was I am dying, and that sensation of dying has left me completely terrified of when I actually am dying. I now have an intense fear of death. I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was being choked. I could feel my blood pumping through my body, as my arms and legs began to get numb. There is a strong pain in my chest, mixed with a burning. I start crying, hyperventilating.. but what I loathe even more than the actual panic attack itself, is thinking all day about when I am getting it again.. It doesn't hinder me going outside and enjoying life, as of now. I am afraid that it might get worse later.. It does hinder my sleep though, I always wake up scared. Scared of what exactly? I honestly couldn't tell anyone. I don't have insomnia, but I might get it soon. I don't think I can sleep without my mother rubbing my back, telling me all will be alright. Today is one of those nights where she wasn't rubbing my back, which explains why I am still wide eyed at about 6 am. I always been a very stress filled person, and I suffered depression for quite some time now. I am going to go out on a limb and assume that maybe these all correlate with each other. I could be incorrect though. I may not be having a panic attack at this very moment, but I did just wake up from one of my night terrors again. I only managed to get only an hour of sleep. I don't know if this is normal, if this is something anyone else feels. This inability to sleep. I guess someone could say I am slightly questioning my reality. All feels unreal. It feels like I am in a constant dream, and will wake up laughing at this whole thing. It's felt like this for years now.. It would be nice to associate with someone, anyone, singular or plural, who also deals with this. It would definitely calm my nerves, when no one else is around to help me. I don't have many friends anymore, so making some new ones who will help me with this new condition will surely make me a very happy girl. Bless you all so much, and thank you.
  24. Hi I'm Amber, I have been suffering from Anxiety since I was younger but it is getting alot worse now, I can't talk to my family as I can't trust them and I feel that they wouldn't understand me. it would be like my migraine attacks, they wouldn't believe me and they taught that it was in my head.. Them migraine Attacks really scares me, I am afraid to go anywhere in case I got one.. They have brought me down an awful lot.. When I was younger I was in a really dark time of my life and then I got the help I needed but lately I just don't know what is going on.. I would really like if someone could understand me and listen to me for once and not been judged.. Amber xx
  25. In my school instead of having a midterm in History we do volunteer work and then write a two page paper and do a PowerPoint presentation. I have really bad social anxiety and I am stressing about presenting my PowerPoint in front of everyone. The last time I did a presentation I almost fainted and I was visibly shaking and sweating. What's worse is I have to time what I say because the presentation has to be about 5 minutes long. My teacher said we're not supposed to read off of the slides so we should only put notes to remember what we're going to say. Also my teacher suggested putting pictures that we took while doing the volunteer work and just explain what we we're doing in the picture, which would be really easy if I didn't have social anxiety. I'm not going to remember anything I have to say, let alone time it because I'll be having a panic attack in front of everyone in my class. What's worse is none of my friends are in my History class, so I won't be able to focus on someone I'm comfortable with. I don't talk to anyone in my class, except for one girl who just wants me to pass notes to her friend and then she glares at me after class. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? I have been stressing and freaking out about this for a week now. I desperately need some advice on how to deal with this or better yet get out of doing it.