Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'ptsd'.
Found 23 results
-
Hi I am new here. I have ptsd and anxiety, and depression. Also get some depersonalization. I have a few major serious illnesses - the most serious of which are a heart problem caused by pneumonia and c****r. I also have sciatica in my neck with 4 herniated discs. And spinal stenosis in my lower back in 4 vertibra. Problems slow me down some, but I never allow them to stop me. I am here to learn and grow - and to receive help and to help others. In my spare time - i go to the gym 4 times a week and play between 2 and 6 hours of piano a day. DO you have any serious illnesses to mention/discuss and how you feel about them and deal with them? hugs
-
My first post is on New Year's Day. I want to introduce myself because people might have a panic attack seeing a new moderator in their midst. I will probably edit it after a while since it is long has a lot of information, My name is John, username Ironman, and I am a carryover from anxiety-space.com. I have been a moderator on that site since almost the beginning, and was a moderator on another forum for over six years. A résumé in three sentences lol. My history with anxiety: My first real panic attack was January 28, 1989. I was in the eighth grade (13 1/2) and I was dealing with a mother who has mental illness and had just been hospitalized for 11 days during the previous Christmas. Her illness behaved much like an alcoholic only it was 24/7 with her behavior. That, in turn, had me put pressure on myself to succeed. In the beginning, I could count on two nights a month where I would not sleep well. It would shift into hypochondriasis and catastrophization (big words lol). I got through high school and college with periodic episodes. I ended up having acquaintances, but they never really go to know me. I wouldn't let them because I was teased about my mother. That mindset stuck. By 1999, I had finished college and attempted to start my own life - but depression set in. At that point, I decided to seek help. I started seeing a doctor who couldn't quite pinpoint what my issue was, just that I had anxiety. In 2000, I joined a church with the expectation that I could make friends who were decent. Little did I know that the more I tried to make friends, the worse I got. In 2002, the anxiety started getting worse after a weekend trip to Gatlinburg. The worry about what was going on flared up and got worse throughout 2003. On New Year's Eve 2003, I remember being the only person at the altar praying (this was one of those charismatic churches) and God told me that I would not be at the church at the end of 2004. In the midst of the anxiety, that was unsettling. This is where things get really weird and I have to use my hindsight and what I have learned. In January 2004, I know that I had anxiety that was bad enough that I was derealizing/depersonalizing ("zoning out"), and the choir was sitting behind the preacher/evangelist. At the end of one service the preacher's wife screamed "you are going through what you are because you didn't try out for the choir!" The choir knew I was interested in trying out - but when I did in 2000, we were handed a several-page document on rules, ending with a contract that we would support the leadership (preacher's daughter and son-in-law) 100 percent. I found that kind of odd and walked out before I auditioned (I play woodwind instruments). Taking things personally is a big thing with anxiety sufferers and that made it worse. To make a long story short, they tried to kick me out of the church twice, incorrectly using Scripture. Since the church was not part of a denomination, they could do what they wanted. The first time was Easter Sunday 2004, after I was so racked with anxiety that I felt unworthy to take Communion - BIG mistake in that church. The preacher's wife screamed out "if you're causing divisions, we'll kick you out!" I went to the altar and prayed for something unrelated like my anxiety - and the choir was cheering and pointing to me.....before shunning me altogether. I started withdrawing from people I thought were my friends - I was in with a group that were brown-nosers to the pastors. They had a TV show on a cable channel and thought they were something else. The anxiety exploded to the point I was rocking in a fetal position begging for the nerves to stop. In my mind, "looking at people" was my crime (derealization was something I didn't know anything about at the time) so I won't look at the preacher or the choir. That must have offended the ego of the pastor's wife because she tried to kick me out again in June 2004. It's a three step process to kick somebody out and June 6, 2004 was actually step two. I pulled a friend who I could trust, had him pray with me at the altar, and I left the church for good. I have to add that August 2002 to June 2004 was also a trying period in my life (I call it my Job trial). Job, in the Bible, was a man who lost everything and people around him told him to give up his faith and he wouldn't do it. In my case, I had become unemployed, lost my dog, my grandmother, faced having a root canal with no insurance, had boils like Job, lost my friends, and then my church, and almost what was left of my sanity.....in two years. Twelve days after I left the church, I landed a job (software engineer). But, the anxiety didn't go away! I got a new doctor in June 2004 and finally got diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. That's another storyline in my soap opera lol. I have been at my current church since October 2006 - a HEALTHIER ONE. I would be able to help here with the issue of spiritual abuse. I am still working on social interaction, though - it's a process, but I have come a LONG way. ...oh and before I close, that "bad church" sent me a packet to rejoin in March 2005 - I keep it as a reminder of the pain I went through. The pastor's wife and that church have been through unbelievable stuff that only God can dish out! One example - June 14, 2010: God released me from the Church when the 62-foot tall fiberglass statue of Jesus ("Big Butter Touchdown Jesus" as people called it) was struck by lightning and disintegrated. Anyway, I wanted to provide a bit of background. Those at AnxietySpace know me, but AnxietyCentral would see me as an invader lol. I hope 2021 can bring some peace and knowledge that 2020 was actually an interesting experience. People were going through what we have for years!
-
I have PTSD following an event in college. That's about as much fact as I know. What I've gathered from panic attacks, triggers, and my husband's deduction work, what I believe happened was a sexual assault of some type outside a campus bar, with my dorm mate failing to have my back when she took me out for my birthday two months into my first semester. I suppressed it like a mf for three years, until I met my husband and discovered - in a most inconvenient way - that perhaps I wasn't a virgin after all, and it spiraled from there. But I don't remember the event, still, seven years later. I don't know if I'm grateful or not because while I don't have to deal with the memories, I still have all the symptoms and reactions. Body memory? My father, a cop, thinks someone drugged me, and my husband agrees. Could that be why I don't remember, along with my brain's protectiveness? Or am I being ridiculous, because it never happened, I have no tangible proof. I'm just a lump on the bed, surrounded by cats, and it may not even be real. Sometimes I want to remember, to validate my emotions and the pain I'm causing my family, but what's the point? Perhaps I'm just like this for selfish reasons, and if it's true it's too late to seek legal justice anyhow. Has anyone else ever faced this? Do you have any advice? Is it all moot because I have no say in selective amnesia anyhow?
-
Hi Everyone, I am a person that has suffered with anxiety for many years now. I have always been an anxious/worried person, even as a child, but I didn't begin experiencing full-blown panic attacks until I was involved in a serious car accident. I guess it could be called PTSD, but the panic attacks continued for several years after the accident and still occasionally happen today. I am wondering if anyone has experienced a similar evolution in their mental-health and would be open to sharing their story. I am trying to learn more about my panic disorder/generalized anxiety by understanding my predisposition to these disorders, as a naturally anxious person. If anyone is willing to share, I have some more specific questions to provide guidance: 1. When did you begin experiencing anxiety/panic disorder? How old were you and were there any specific circumstances that impacted you? 2. Did you experience any events/circumstances that were particularly traumatic that you believe might have contributed to/triggered your anxiety/panic/PTSD? 3. Would you describe yourself as a naturally anxious person? Do you recall being more worried about things (sickness/health, irrational fears, bad things happening) prior to the onset of your anxiety/panic disorder? 4. Did either of your parents or close relatives experience similar anxiety problems/mental-health disorders? Do you think you were impacted by them at all? I apologize if any of these questions are too personal, of course this is just a forum and I expect that anyone that doesn't want to answer/isn't comfortable won't. I feel that learning as much as I can about my mental-health and the nature of my "problems" is very helpful in understanding why I am this way and how I can help myself and others. I hope that maybe this can help some of you as well. I appreciate any responses/contribution, and I hope that maybe we can spark an insightful conversation here. Thank you! Ally
-
I can't do this anymore. I've lost everything. The depression and anxiety rule my life. My daughter is failing school, and it's because I can't go out and talk to people. I live so ashamed of who I am. What has happened to me. I don't trust anyone. I don't get close to anyone. The only one I'm hurting is my children. There's so much more. I'll write more another day. Like how I was held hostage to be murdered before the swat team broke in. I lost the job of my dreams because of a lying bitch. At the same time my husband left me for some whore with 9 kids from 7 dads. How I ran over a man on the freeway that committed s****de by walking into my lane. These is barely a little of what is wrong with me. There's more to come.
-
- mdd
- extreme anxiety
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
Hi Everyone, I am a person that has suffered with anxiety for many years now. I have always been an anxious/worried person, even as a child, but I didn't begin experiencing full-blown panic attacks until I was involved in a serious car accident. I guess it could be called PTSD, but the panic attacks continued for several years after the accident and still occasionally happen today. I am wondering if anyone has experienced a similar evolution in their mental-health and would be open to sharing their story. I am trying to learn more about my panic disorder/generalized anxiety by understanding my predisposition to these disorders, as a naturally anxious person. If anyone is willing to share, I have some more specific questions to provide guidance: 1. When did you begin experiencing anxiety/panic disorder? How old were you and were there any specific circumstances that impacted you? 2. Did you experience any events/circumstances that were particularly traumatic that you believe might have contributed to/triggered your anxiety/panic/PTSD? 3. Would you describe yourself as a naturally anxious person? Do you recall being more worried about things (sickness/health, irrational fears, bad things happening) prior to the onset of your anxiety/panic disorder? 4. Did either of your parents or close relatives experience similar anxiety problems/mental-health disorders? Do you think you were impacted by them at all? I apologize if any of these questions are too personal, of course this is just a forum and I expect that anyone that doesn't want to answer/isn't comfortable won't. I feel that learning as much as I can about my mental-health and the nature of my "problems" is very helpful in understanding why I am this way and how I can help myself and others. I hope that maybe this can help some of you as well. I appreciate any responses/contribution, and I hope that maybe we can spark an insightful conversation here. Thank you! Ally
-
Hi Everyone, I am a person that has suffered with anxiety for many years now. I have always been an anxious/worried person, even as a child, but I didn't begin experiencing full-blown panic attacks until I was involved in a serious car accident. I guess it could be called PTSD, but the panic attacks continued for several years after the accident and still occasionally happen today. I am wondering if anyone has experienced a similar evolution in their mental-health and would be open to sharing their story. I am trying to learn more about my panic disorder/generalized anxiety by understanding my predisposition to these disorders, as a naturally anxious person. If anyone is willing to share, I have some more specific questions to provide guidance: 1. When did you begin experiencing anxiety/panic disorder? How old were you and were there any specific circumstances that impacted you? 2. Did you experience any events/circumstances that were particularly traumatic that you believe might have contributed to/triggered your anxiety/panic/PTSD? 3. Would you describe yourself as a naturally anxious person? Do you recall being more worried about things (sickness/health, irrational fears, bad things happening) prior to the onset of your anxiety/panic disorder? 4. Did either of your parents or close relatives experience similar anxiety problems/mental-health disorders? Do you think you were impacted by them at all? I apologize if any of these questions are too personal, of course this is just a forum and I expect that anyone that doesn't want to answer/isn't comfortable won't. I feel that learning as much as I can about my mental-health and the nature of my "problems" is very helpful in understanding why I am this way and how I can help myself and others. I hope that maybe this can help some of you as well. I appreciate any responses/contribution, and I hope that maybe we can spark an insightful conversation here. Thank you! Ally
- 1 reply
-
- anxiety
- panic disorder
-
(and 4 more)
Tagged with:
-
Hello, I will try and keep this short. My life hasn't been hell, I've had some great times in my life and some terrible ones. Starting after my deployment in Iraq i slowly started easing into life with increased anxiety and illogical fear. I constantly woke up and looked out my windows, I always thought I heard something, I always had to check to make sure I was safe and I always caught myself when I was falling asleep and would wake up as if I was on watch. I was diagnosed with ptsd while still on active duty. I tried like hell to let the doctor I was fine and just needed something to help me sleep. I refused to be stamped with ptsd. once I returned home I began self medicating with alcohol, when I was drunk I wasn't anxious and typically had a good time. I fell into a relationship rather quickly. I kept up the drinking which was easy because my gf was an alcoholic just like both of her parents who I never once saw sober. one night I had a party at my house with about 30 people over and I stepped outside and heard a loud smash which ended up being one of my best friends being hit by a car. I gave him cpr until the medics came but it was too late. I was so numb I couldn't even force myself to cry at his funeral. about a year after that I learned of my girlfriend cheating on me which apparently had been happening for some time. I moved in with a friend to get away from the house that I alone was paying for. My ex got with a known junkie, which to me was super weird because she didn't participate in drugs to my knowledge and she knew this guy. The guy was rich and came from a very well off family, so I suppose she thought she hit the jack pot and figured it was someone she could party with and not have to hear about it later, even though he was addicted to heroin and whatever pills he could get his hands on. My ex and her addict boyfriend had a child and I was happy for her, I legit wanted her to be happy. Fast forward about a year and my ex overdosed. Pain pills and most likely heroin. I couldn't go to her funeral in fear of my rage against her boyfriend and all the family that watched her spiral downward. after this I cracked I suppose. I had such strong anxiety that I couldn't sleep or eat or enjoy ANYTHING. The only thing I could think of that kept me pushing forward was that I wasn't dead. The sun was still rising and no matter what I was breathing at the moment. Everything else was just nothing but a waste of time. I couldn't even stay at my house, I crashed in my brother couch night after night because I didn't want to be alone, I couldn't sleep without someone "on watch" my brother dog helped by being by my side while I slept. I would find myself waking up constantly in the middle of the night with the dog staring at me with its ears up as if to let me know, "it's ok I'm alert" I now work in corrections in a jail, and I don't have to explain the daily stress that is involved with that. my ex's junkie boyfriend is actually in the jail I work at and will most likely go to prison or a long term facility because he has constantly received a slap on the wrist for his possession charges and drug abuse charges. Last I hear the poor child they had is in custody of his parents which beaks my heart but in the long run is good I suppose. dealing with the criminal element on a daily basis almost makes me feel like one. I am constantly reviewing my choices and actions to make sure I'm not doing anything wrong. My life has become a constant dread that I fully understand s****de. This isn't living. This is hell. my name is jamie and I'd appreciate any help of just talking to keep me pushing forward.
-
36, soon to be 37 yr old woman from Ohio. Debilitating agoraphobia and panic disorder. Many legitimate health issues and tons of obsessions. Look forward to posting and replying here.
- 1 reply
-
- panicagoraphobia
- depression
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
Hello everyone! I've struggled with addictions since I was around 14, and they're related to PTSD from childhood and later years of abuse. Hopefully I'll learn more about how to deal with it and recover more fully, although I have made a lot of progress in the last several years by using certain complimentary therapies. For instance I use a lot of herbs after taking 2 Herbalism courses, and I'm now learning about Homeopathy and having good results. And essential oils calm me down. I've also used EFT (tapping) but I have a problem with keeping it up for some reason, even though it's quick and easy; I suppose I just forget to do it. All the best Georgia
-
I have severe anxiety, panic disorder and PTSD. I've had a lot of death in the past few years and I feel as though every day I am worrying about not being here, worried something bad is going to happen and constantly stressed about every single choice I make. It's really draining. I can barely remember what it's like to feel happiness as every time I do have a moment of pure joy, I get anxious that I'm focusing on it too much and that too will be taken away. I have been avoiding prescription medications as the idea of not feeling anything at all worries me. I'm not sure if maybe feeling like I do now is better as at least I'm feeling something. No real question here but if someone can relate or has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Thank you for reading.
-
Hello there, Our names are Ashley, Molly, James, Esther, and Claire. My name, being the host, is Stephanie. I'm searching for others that share the same struggles with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Over the span of my lifetime, I've encountered so many times of heartbreak and strife, and it led me to splinter into many other personalities. Think of it as someone dissecting six very different people, cutting their brains into shapes, and molding them all into one skull. Gruesome, of course. Accurate? Definitely. These people are part of me. Esther needs reading glasses, and Ashley's eyesight is sharp as a tack. James loves women and automatically knows how to be intimate with them, while Claire is completely straight. She loves our fiancé, Ryan. But she has secrets. Last, there is one that wants us to die. They imagine us lying in a white tile bathroom, watching blood stream from our wrists. He doesn't have a name, and it's terrifying. Because he's right next to be in the passenger seat. s****de is absolutely NOT what we are going to do because our goal is to live together peacefully. We want a full life. We want to be discovered. But we also know when things are tough to persevere and keep on keepin' on. We're on the road to coexistence. We all want to know what happened to our Stephanie. But like our therapists say, "One day at a time." If you would like to know more about us or if you want to simply say hello, please do! We would love to chat. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this small bio of our life. Have a good one! A.M.J.E.C., and Stephanie
-
- dissociative identity disorder
- ptsd
-
(and 4 more)
Tagged with:
-
I'm only sixteen. I know I have severe problems that need to be addressed... I was diagnosed with ptsd in December and re-diagnosed in February. But there's more than that. I feel paranoia. I feel sad a lot. I'm not on medication anymore but I don't know what to do. My mom won't get me help, how do I go about getting help when I'm under eighteen?
- 4 replies
-
- ptsd
- depression
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
Separation Anxiety due to PTSD
fairytaletear posted a topic in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Hi, I am a 25 year old woman with anxiety. Usually it comes and goes but my boyfriend is on holidays and he forgot to call after a night out and I had a complete breakdown, shaking, vomitting, calling him every 5 minutes until he finally woke up the next morning and replied. Since then, I have an anxious feeling in my stomach and have had diarrhea and vomiting. This was 5 days ago. He has been keeping in contact but I keep having crying panic attacks when we talk even though I know its nonsensical. I have anxiety breakdowns every so often, usually over my younger brother going out drinking. The last time, I went to the doctor to get medication but because I am highly functioning(I go to work, do exercise, eat properly and appear ok to my peers) she thinks medication is not necessary. She referred me to a CBT specialist who said she could not help me now and that before she could I needed to return to another counselor who I went to during a traumatic event. In university, my college boyfriend went out drinking and was found dead in the river 12 days later. He was supposed to come back to my house and I tried to call him all that night but I knew something had gone wrong.. My boyfriend gets back next Tuesday but I feel like I cannot cope until then. I have called two counsellors but cannot get an appointment until the 20th of July.. How can I cope now? -
About 2 weeks ago I had weird sensations like heaviness and numbness and overthink them thinking it was a stroke causing lots of panic attacks for a day straight. Unfortunately during that time I had lots of panic while trying to sleep so now sleeping brings on panic attacks. Was Doing well at my mothers for visitation for a week and a half but now I'm Back over at my fathers where the anxiety all started with the weed experience. No wonder why my anxiety is so much worse here. I feel like I have lots of PTSD here from that trauma but I have to keep reminding myself I'm ok. Right now sense a few weeks ago when my bad anxiety started up again with panic attacks I am now in bed having some more. Trying my best to overcome the fears that are causing them. One being the fear of not waking up or death while sleeping. Another is the fear that something is wrong with me medically. Like a stroke or I'm still high even though I smoked 5 months ago. Which I know is not possible. The anxiety is mainly because of the fact I'm tired right now and feel distant like my world is zoomed out from me. Kind of like I'm trapped in my own mind and thoughts and sounds are bouncing around. I'm pretty That's the derealization for me. I hate the way it feels but I must remind myself I'm ok. I don't know why that's what I keep overthinking but it is And it's causing lots of panic attacks and anxiety. So for me it seems like the more tired I get the more panic attacks I get as well. It's like I keep poking and prying every little detail to find the bad things and then dwell on them overthinking and causing panic attacks. Small things like the weird way I see stuff when I first wake up or how when I'm tired and starting to relax how my body feels heavy and numb or a little dizzy I start to overthink these things and panic. Also like how as I fall asleep sense I'm hypersensitive I some times stay awake through the sub couscous processes and hear staticky or weird noises which has also caused more panic. So I am trying to do what I can to find a way to put these lies in their place and force the truth that I'm fine. Anyone on here have similar experiences?
- 4 replies
-
- PTSD anxiety panic attacks
- anxiety
-
(and 4 more)
Tagged with:
-
The convoy the ides the gun fir and the friends not around it ties my stomac in knots it all runs threw my head it should of been me there waiting on eod for 22 hours sitting on a blown up gun truck I see the news on TV about stupid stuff and not a thing about my brothers in arms that died just thinking if I was on that convoy the media wouldn't cover my story when I went on to a better place only the local paper Or seeing a Facebook post share if you suport the troop and knowing that it Menes nothing in the end when all they old have to do is share a hug with a mother that lost her son or a soldier that lost his best friend that's the suport that counts I wish I could hear a sond and not have the flashbacks start but the truth hurts and it always will
-
I was in the Army for 3 yeras, a firefighter for 5, and now a federal officer for 11 years, NO ONE ever told me about PTSD. Yes I sgned up for these jobs and I accept that I chose this path but again no one ever told me about PTSD. I started at 18 and now I am 36 and I feeel horrible. I don't want to accept PTSD because I feel like I will be looked at like I am trying to get out of work. I have beeen diagnosed with a severe case of PTSD that needs intensive treatment this is according to a leading doctor in my country in this feild. Yet i sit at home on DI and see a counselour once a week for an hour...WTF is that intensive? I find it hard to leave the house during the daytime. I dont sleep for days and then will black out for a day. It feels like I am having a heart attack constantly, I have fought this going on 5 years. I was suppossed to go to a treatment centre, but there is approxiametely 8,500-9,000$ out standing bill that wouldn't be covered so here I sit. I guess according to the dick running Canada (Stephen Harper) because of lack of funding and support and the Federal organization I am employed by were the ones to hire Doctor Noel A Karin through a company called ACE. I foughtoff my union and employer to stay at work, but after having an independant assessment I was put off work. And on top of it I was being given 200 miligrams of LORAZAPAM a month. I feel slow upstairs, can't remember a lot, and because of the amount of meds I blacked out and within 5-6 months I wrote off 2 pickup trucks and was told by the attending officer that he couldn't beleive I was alive. My wife left me and most of my friends distanced themselves from me. Because of my PTSD I have to have supervised visits at a centre, like really! Use PTSD against me in family court and there have never beeen any reason for this! I would like to just blow my F#$KIN brains out, I have had enough. I no longer believe in GOD cause it is said GOD only gives you as much as you can handle. LMFAO I cant handle this. I am just venting because I am so frustrated.
-
I keep having trouble with FLASHBACKS. Everyday I have them. I am so tired of reliving my trauma. Almost everthing triggers one or more of my traumas. A hug from my father, a smell, a noise, and even trying to go to sleep triggers it. I am so isolated from people, cause people trigger it the most. I feel so alone, I can't stand it anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions or techniques I can try?
-
Hi, my name is Jessi. I am new here and I have never done anything like this before. I am 26 years old and I am struggling with Agoraphobia, Anxiety, PTSD, Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, and a few other things. I have been thru so much, that I just lost all trust in people. It is so hard for me to be around them. I have been like this for almost 5 years now. I haven't had a job in 5 years. I barely leave my house. When I do I have extreme Anxiety. I can't be around crowds of people. It is really hard for me to even wake up everyday. I am a very shy and quite person, I don't open up to people very much. I'm not on any meds or have not seen a therapist in a long time. I know I need to but it is really difficult for me. I am hoping by joining this site, that I can open up a little easier, and eventually return to therapy. I have no friends that I can talk to and my family just doesn't get it. I am just broken and I have no hope for anything.
- 3 replies
-
- Agoraphobia
- Anxiety
-
(and 5 more)
Tagged with:
-
Is it just me, or does anyone else kinda feel trapped, because of their ptsd. Like do you ever feel trapped in your own body.
-
Hello everyone. My name is Brittany and I was officially diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD in 2009. I have been on Citalopram since then, and just recently decided to make the huge decision to come off my meds and try to take life on by myself. I would not recommend that to anyone who has not first spoken to their doctor/therapist and really put a lot of thought into it. Meds are serious business and you need to make sure you come off them right. (I'm sure many of you know this already ) I have been going through a lot lately including my fiance' breaking up with me. I'm sure you can imagine how tough that can be on someone like me. I've been crying a lot and I'm just so glad to have this site now as a place to come and talk. I have so many emotions built up inside me and it's taken me a very long time to be open and honest like I am today. If you're reading this, feel free to message me anytime. I would love to chat with you. I actually hope to one day be a Psychologist! Anyway, if you want to know more about me, just ask
- 9 replies
-
- anxiety
- depression
- (and 7 more)