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I'm not an angry person. For most of my life I've been avoiding conflict for the life of me. Even when my brother used to steal and break my dolls I would only cry the most when my mom found out and he got into trouble. In fact, anger is something that's not discussed in our house. It's basically an unwritten rule that we have to smile and act polite or it's just unacceptable. We always have to be happy. I can't count the number of times when my mom has told me I don't get to be mad because I don't have to put up with everything she does or I don't get to be mad because I've had it better than she did. I used to listen. I'm starting to realize that maybe I don't have to. This year has been pretty difficult. I found out a lot of things about my family, I got rear-ended by a drunk driver, and I began to get snippets of memories of sexual abuse from my childhood. I've been trying to be so positive, but lately everything's been changing and it's making me feel like I've once again just stood up before someone's pulled the rug out from under me again. Without alcohol I've had to deal with it, and I've been trying to let myself not be so controlling over what I let myself feel. Sure anger has it's downsides. Sometimes I just want to punch the wall or scream at the world in frustration. It clouds my judgement at times (as any emotion does) and makes it hard to keep up my "nothing to see here" routine. People that I can usually put up with I've had to sever connections with because I just can't do it anymore. I'm less approachable, less of a pushover, but I don't mind. Mostly I'm alright with it because for me the benefits outweigh the detriments. It's a means to an end. If I get angry I can process it all. I get to feel what it did to me, and I get to get rid of all of that negative energy so I can move on. Maybe I won't move on from everything, but at least I can start to heal and take back the power the past has had on me. So if you're reading this, be angry with me. Don't be afraid of it. Anger can be a weapon, but it's also a tool. Depending on how you use it it can sew you up or rip you apart. You can't learn how it works until you experience it for yourself. What is something you're angry about?
After watch Guy Winch at TED about Emotional First Aid I got really pump up and it's look good for me, So I decided to create content about It. Hope you like it. So what it emotional first aid come for ? Imagine you are in park, observing a group of children playing around on the playground. Apparently, the taller of the two are pissed off because the shorter keeps following him around. Then he pushes the other, causing the latter to fall and scrape his knee. Three other kids stop playing. One runs to her home and come back carrying a first aid kid. Everybody is familiar with first aid kid, the little white box with a red cross on its front surface. The kid with first aid kid put a band aid over the fallen kid’s knees, and they’re back to playing. In a glance, it’s all sunshine and rainbow again for those children. But are they really? Everybody worry about the fallen kid’s knee, but it’s been treated and it will be okay. It will heal. But, who worry about the fallen kid’s heart? His feeling is very hurt, and it doesn’t show but from that time the younger kid is afraid to approach older boy. But there is no such first aid kit for the boy’s heart. No band aid to heal his hurt feeling and to recover his trauma. But, you see, just because it doesn’t visible to eyes, doesn’t mean emotional injury doesn’t need band aid. Because human knows the risk of leaving physical wound or illness untreated, they make first aid kid: a box full of easy to reach medication and health tools. Yet despite knowing the risk of untreated injury, people seem wonderfully indifferent toward emotional injury. But how about leaving emotional injury ? So, what do we need to do to make this emotional first aid? According to the book, the treatment will be different according to each type of the emotional injuries: rejection, loneliness, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self esteem. Let's discuss one by one Loneliness Loneliness isn’t a ‘door shut on your face’ type of hurt like rejection. It comes slowly, creeping between your day and night, even when you’re surrounded with people. Loneliness makes you sad, constantly on guard and tends to mistrust other people. Often because of that it drives people away, so you’re going to be even lonelier. how about the first aid for loneliness ? Stop bullying yourself !!! We frown upon bullying when we see one, yet we often bully our own selves. We often blame ourself for everything that goes wrong, even when those things are just coincident. In our head, we often call ourselves ugly, stupid, and other demeaning words. When we succeed, we seldom praise ourselves. In fact, bullying ourselves will just add negative thinking into our head. When we’re too deep in negative thinking, we may regard everything in life with negative lens, including connecting to people. That makes us even lonelier. Borrow other people’s eyes Are you afraid you won’t meet other people’s expectation when you’re interacting with them? Let me ask you something. Are you afraid other people won’t meet your expectation when they’re interacting with you? No, right? You don’t expect something from others when you’re casually interacting with them, except basic manner of course. So, remember that that’s what exactly other people think of you in conversation: they don’t expect anything from you. Knowing this will help you relax in conversation. For rejection, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self esteem, I will continue it If this is post get a good respond ;):throb: Source