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Showing content with the highest reputation since 12/28/11 in all areas

  1. 13 points
    Hi everyone. I just came across one of those fear articles that we see too often that can trigger those of us with HA. I found this author's email address and sent this email to her today. If she responds I'll share it, but I'm sure none of us will be holding our breath: Hello Alyssa; You might not be aware of this, but you are amongst a growing number of what I call “health scaremongers” online today. One of your photo slide articles was just featured on MSN about cancer symptoms that men often ignore. I could pick it apart one by one but let me just give you one example; brain tumors. Persistent headaches, watch out, could be a brain tumor! The reality of the situation is that, according to renown neurologists from the most prestigious of universities, it is highly, highly unlikely that a headache will be the first symptom one gets when suffering from a BT. Briefly, here is the reason. The brain feels no pain. When a tumor grows large enough to impact the skull/nerves adjacent to the skull, that is when pain will be felt. However, by the time a tumor has grown to the point where it can cause such pain it has undoubtedly caused havoc during its growth, resulting in other symptoms first, such as seizures, vision loss, and a host of other presenting symptoms. Your article equates persistent non-migraine headaches as potentially being a BT. In fact, between migraine and daily tension headache, you account for the vast majority of causes. Then, there are numerous other headache types, such as ice pick, cluster and many others that occur. Articles like yours scare people. They cause vulnerable people to march to their doctors demanding scans, some with damaging radiation involved. I guess that’s your aim; it generates more “clicks” and hence more advertising revenue. But at what human cost? If you’re going to write about health issues, write intelligent well thought out articles that show you researched and were serious about your work and not just out to grab the last buck for your employer. Bob - Canada
  2. 11 points
    In 2014 my father passed away, a couple months shy of his 98th birthday. Other than the final few years, he was alert, happy, always joking and sharing his so called wisdoms. Even in the last years, most of the time he just suffered from normal memory issues. So, what helped him make it well into his 90's? It sure wasn't his genes. His father died at age 46 and his mother at 60. For a good part of his life he was slightly overweight; not obese but say 10-20 pounds above his norm for height. He had an awful 1st marriage; his wife actually lied to the War Department in 1944 saying he was not supporting his kids. It worked and they drafted him. He served in Okinawa just before the end of the war in the Pacific. He did have, for a while, strained relations with his kids from that marriage. Lots of stress. Oh, and he worked in a chemical plant knee deep in God knows what concoction of crap, until he was drafted. So, why was he a happy guy who lived a long healthy life? One word more than anything summed it up: positivity in life and in himself. After returning from overseas, he seemed to adopt a new outlook. Shortly afterwards he got a low level position with the Veterans Administration. 30 years later he retired as a GS 15, the highest grade in government not appointed by the President. He met and married my mom. Theirs was a true love story. His attitude towards health was simple. He went to the doctor for his regular checkups, but otherwise you had to drag him to go to a doctor. He had 2 health events in his life; an enlarged prostate that got to where he couldn't urinate. He had surgery and that was that (his next room over neighbor was Ted Knight of Mary Tyler Moore fame). Then at age 82 he had a heart attack. The doctor told me it was a bad one and he'd likely live another 5-7 years. I have no idea what he told my dad, but he wasnt phased by his heart attack. He thrived in rehab, and in months was back to doing everything as before. He lasted another 15+ years. He was told in his late 80's to have his carotid Artery cleaned out. He refused. It never mattered. So what does this all add up to? Well, for him it seems being positive, being a jokester, being content with his life did the trick for him. It's true he didn't smoke cigarettes or abuse booze, but he did love his cigars. Me? I'm 180 degrees opposite of him when it comes to being content, being positive and happy. That makes me really sad. He had personality quirks, and we didn't always have the best relationship, but his attitude towards life was one thing he did right. That's one way I'm still trying to emulate him, and I'll keep trying to the end. Maybe I'll succeed one day. Thanks for reading this long post. We all want to live a long healthy life. He had the recipe and played it out to perfection. Are any of us willing to try to change our outlook on life like he did?
  3. 7 points
    Why is it in anxiety that so many have it over and over and never seem to resolve why. They try all sorts of remedies and take all sorts of actions and get some respite but back it comes. This is not always the case obviously. Some do recover completely and seem to have few setbacks, but so many don't. In fact the vast majority don't. Anxiety, or a neurosis, because that is the technical term for it, is always the result of inner conflict. It has to be. The outer manifestations, GAD, OCD, PTSD are all the result of an unresolved inner conflict. This may not be conscious, in fact it's usually unconscious, but either way it needs resolution for inner peace. Inner peace is the lack of conflict. When you are at peace with yourself, (what a wonderful thought!), then you are at peace with the world. The inner manifestation is reflected in the outer. You care more; are no longer self centred. This is why talking things out through counselling or therapy is so important. There may be hidden reasons for the anxiety that can be easily resolved by seeing them in a different light, from someone who can be objective; who is not caught up in the emotional turmoil. Prescribed drugs suppress the feelings, but perhaps in doing so we lose the lesson that the pain may be teaching us. 'Hey there, there's something wrong in your life, let's put it right'. The surface pain is what it is. A warning that something is wrong; unresolved. Unless this is dealt with we become in danger of 'getting used to' how we feel. Of accepting that we may always be like this and that medication is the only way to obtain relief. If your anxiety keeps recurring ask yourself if there is a deeper underlying problem that you may have overlooked or felt was not important. Anxiety never stands alone. It has to have support from fear and the source of that fear needs to be investigated. I appreciate the difficulties in getting the sort of help I suggest. But if you are ready for it it is often surprising how it appears. Jon.
  4. 6 points
    Hi all. I went to my second therapy session today. Wow love my therapist. I wish I could take her home with me lol.. how nice would that be. But anyway she had me fill out a few questions/tests today.. one was rating where I'm at with anxiety and an entire page was anxiety symptoms.. ex: do you have chest pains, chest tightness, lump in throat, jelly legs, muscle fatigue/weakness, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, dizziness, light headed I wish that I had seen that sheet back in Feb when I had jelly legs, weak and fatigue muscles.. Bec I thought ALS not anxiety!!!!! Wow y'all.. I know we see it here there is a list on the forum but actually seeing it today as part of a test by a Dr it made me realize anxiety symptoms are really real!!! I hope this post brings some comfort to people that have some of these symptoms and have a hard time seeing it for what they really are.... anxiety ❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️
  5. 6 points
    I ran across this on Pinterest and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It sums up HA so well We drink the poison Our minds pour For us And wonder Why we feel sick -Atticus. So so so true. Can't believe everything our minds tell us.
  6. 5 points
    What about: Mongolian Swamp Fever. Mississippi lurgy. New York Acne. Trumpitis! Brexit phobia. (Found in the UK only. Very nasty.(Can drive you mad if not treated!). Inflammation of the wallet. (I get this badly!). Not making enough money. (moneyitis). Inflammation of the workplace. Miserable sods disorder.( MSD. People that make you miserable) Weatherphobia. Asking too many questions disorder. (ATMQD. Nasty complaint!). Temperitis. (Losing your temper unnecessarily). And so on. I'm sure you could find some more fictitious ones. That's what most of our problems are, fictitious!!!!!!
  7. 5 points
    I Just wanted to give everyone an update on how things are going. Sorry this is long, but if you give this a chance and read it through, I think this will help a lot of people with some things I learned along the way. So after almost 3 months of random symptoms, I'm finally on the mending path from this wicked bout of health anxiety. I had my MRI last Thursday of full Brain and Spine and the results came back exceptionally normal. Here is the list of things I've learned through this process that may help some other people out. 1. Symptoms feel real and it's normal to be afraid, but don't get too invested and pay attention to the likeliness of what your fearing actually happening. Sometimes just by thinking about something we assume that it's more likely to happen because we're thinking about it. This is called Thought-Action-Fusion. It's the same reason why when we imagine what we could do with millions of dollars we go out and buy a lottery ticket, but our chances of winning are no greater than if we never had that thought at all. It takes an incredible amount of stress and mental power to create and amplify symptoms, and an even greater power to stop them. Through the last month, I've had: pins/needles/numbness in my hands and feet, sore lower legs, dizziness, vertigo, trouble concentrating, night sweats, extremely dry mouth, palpitations, hyperventilating and not even realizing it. Sore muscles, feeling like I have pinched nerves, cold feet and hands, sucky memory, twitches, jerks before falling asleep, random tingles, burning skin, insomnia and weight loss. Now I'm just left with a bit of numbness in my hands (worse on the right) and my legs are sore but significantly better. (Tongue gets a little sore when my mouth is dry at night too, but that's pretty normal in winter dryness). I went from a lot of symptoms to very few in a short time by simply not thinking about them anymore. It is actually shocking how powerful the mind can be. 2. Listen to your doctors. They've perfected their crafts through rigorous studies and practical application. They know what to look for, and they wouldn't let anyone go through something terrible if they truly thought anything was wrong. When I was in my spiral, I wouldn't believe a word that anyone told me. I was so convinced that I was dying, I was the most bull-headed human being on the planet, and my anxiety monster wasn't letting anyone tell me any different. Now that I'm on the other side of this Tornado, I just feel like an ass. I let myself get to a place where rational thoughts and actions were simply broken, and going forward through therapy and CBT I'm not letting myself get back to that place. I actually have a follow up appointment with my doctor tomorrow and I plan on apologizing because he was right 2 and half months ago. 3. Seek reassurance, but know when to quit. When you are asking questions about what you're going through, remember that typically people who have been through similar experiences are quite honest. If someone is telling you that your fine, and 20 more people also tell you that you are fine, you are probably fine. There's no bets taking place around who can keep you from seeking proper medical care the longest. People have just been there and don't want you to spiral down as hard as they did when they might not have had the same reassurance resources. 4. Seek professional mental health resources. When your doctors, friends (or group of people in a forum) tell you that your anxiety is getting the best of you, don't wait while your having physical tests to start the help seeking process. Do it in parallel, it's never too early to start seeing someone who can help you with what you're going through on an emotional and mindful level, regardless of the situation. It's a big factor in feeling better. 5. When it comes to health anxiety just pretend that Google doesn't exist. Feeling better? Want to get sucked in to a black hole and repeat the same process you just fought tooth and nail to get out of? Just type in your newest symptom into that oh so familiar search bar and watch as your mental health is thrusted into a blender and set to purify. Unless you're having a heart attack, try out the three week rule. If something is bugging you, give it three weeks, and then go to the doctors. Don't ever Google a symptom ever. PERIOD. Like I said, sorry for the length of this post. But I learned quite a bit in this particular battle with HA (worst it's ever been since I was diagnosed with anxiety over 10 years ago). Hopefully you will use some of the advice above and remember that you are never alone. -Matt
  8. 5 points
    I'm sorry but there is no need to be condescending. This is a place to help ease one another's fears not to make someone who is obviously dealing with something feel like they're crazy or acting in a stupid way. Not to put words in anyone's mouth but by saying "of course I've been reading stories" I don't think she's actively trying to make herself upset. Anyone with health anxiety knows how it can affect your mind/body/actions. Sometimes by googling symptoms we're hoping against all hope that we find something on there that will in fact ease our minds. In fact, it was because I was googling my symptoms that I found this website and I couldn't be happier that I did. If you don't suffer with HA than I know you couldn't possibly know how our minds work but please when leaving comments to people take into consideration what they might already be going through. They don't need to read negative comments towards them when they're only feeling scared.
  9. 5 points
    Most of the time when we post, we are struggling with anxiety. Today I wanted to post when I am not in the midst of it, to describe it and more importantly describe what led up to feeling better. Like sleep, it just happens,. Anxiety just ends on its own. This sounds silly right. How can it just end on its own? Well, the fact is when anxiety ends it always happens just that way, on its own, with no involvement from me. In fact the lack of involvement is the key to it. When we just step back and allow it to end, it just does. The opposite of trying to make something happen is to be stoic, to just let things happen and ignore it for a period of time. It begins with reducing worry. Worry is so bad, when we worry about something, we are engaged in an activity that hurts rather than helps. To stop worrying about how I feel, to stop reacting to it, is what we call acceptance. This involves actions in the present. We engage in the hear and now. Our mind is not lost in the past with regret or obsessed with the future with worry. It is dealing with what is happening right now. It is not regretting or worrying, focusing on the very instant of time we are living pushes out regrets and worry and is calming. For example, let's say I am stuck in my car in a traffic jam. What am I thinking about. Am I just listening to music, focusing on the moment, chilling out, or am I lost in worry. Worried I am trapped. What if something happens, worried about being late. Worried about getting sick in a public space. Worried about losing control,. It's all worry worry worry. This example pertains to many other things, if I feel dizzy, I worry do I have a disease , is going to get worse. what's next, what's next, worry worry worry. If am unconcerned with what is next, I am calmer. When I am calmer I sleep better, and live better. I enjoy the day, the sunshine,the air I breathe, the work I do. Calmness is the absence of worry, it is acceptance of my circumstances, it is not fighting it, not trying to change it. Change is always a proactive exercise . It is not reactive to my circumstances, reactive actions are anxious actions and are the result of worrying. Anxiety ends when I cease to worry. But I do not try to not worry. It has to just happen. Negative thoughts are simply replaced but positive ones. The fear that is worry is a reaction. The lack of this second fear eliminates the first trigger entirely. It simply goes away on its own. Acceptance is the absence of reacting . It is the elimination of worry. The way it works is that the sensization goes away. The nerves calm down, the internal mind impulsive that trigger physical sensations calm down,. The cycle breaks, and life calms down and all is good. This is how anxiety ends. I wanted to write during a good period to describe how this happened to remember it and share it, to show the way. The way is the absence of trying to step off the thread mill and let the calmness happen on its own, because trying and trying is the same as worrying and worrying, it is feeding the very thing that triggered it, it is keeping it alive. when it ends. And yes it does end. It is because I have ceased to try to make it end, and thus allowed,it to end.
  10. 5 points
    I've been here before but I thought I would come back and see how much mayhem I have caused and what attempts you are making to get rid of me. You have a fight on your hands and I don't give up easily. I know I have problems too. I am a liar, a trickster and a fraud but I can't help it. In fact I rather enjoy making people suffer; it gives me a boost. I notice there are some silly articles on here about control, acceptance and such nonsense. Now this worries me a bit because if sufferers stop trying to control me I suffer. It is the fact that as they attempt to get rid of me by fighting and struggling that gives me more power. If they accept me it derives me of my drug, adrenaline, which keeps me going. I get severe withdrawal symptoms if I don't get enough. Another thing that worries me is that a lot of you seem to be doing well and diminishing my power over you. By getting together and swapping tales about me, (which are not true of course), you increase the knowledge of what I am and that is not good for me. I like to work in the dark and the less you know about me the better. Ignorance is my best friend and we work well together. Our arch enemy, Understanding, keeps popping up now and the and we do our best to counter his nonsenses but some of you still listen to him which is a pity from my point of view. My advice to you is to give up trying to get rid of me; go on fighting and struggling and trying to control me. Boy, you should feel the power I get from such action. I have another good friend, Ignorance. He has a son, Lackofunderstanding and we are training him along so that he can cause some real problems in the future. We have a club. The founder members are myself as Chairman, Panic, Fear, Dread, Ignorance and despair. We get along fine together and have regular meetings to see what further chaos we can cause. So my advice is this. Go on struggling and fighting. Don't get any medication and for goodness sake never seek medical help. In fact never seek help at all. It hurts us deeply when that rogue CBT appears on the scene. Nasty piece of work. Does so many people so much good he is a real menace. I am sure you would not want any of my committee members to suffer so keep up the good work and keep fighting. All the best. Anxiety.
  11. 4 points
    Thanks @Iugrad91 Als worries are hard to break. The ALS forum is toxic. I promise. You think it will help but it hurts. You really have to stop going there. If the people on the ALS forum says no and to go away.. listen!!!!!!!!!!! They know what they are talking about. You have zero symptoms. I had a sweet yet firm man on the ALS forum tell me he wished Google wouldn't put twitching as a listed symptom he said it should be paralysis only. You have to get your mind on something else. It's hard but that's how I recovered. My husband actually took WiFi off my phone so I couldn't Google and boy did that help! I read books I enjoyed to keep my mind busy and I walked twice a day and rode bikes to keep my mind clear. Try a week cleanse from Google. Hugs. This worry will ease. But you have to work at it.
  12. 4 points
    Hello everyone, just came back from my pcp appointment and let me tell y’all. Note: IVE BEEN FEELING ALOT BETTER ON MY OWN THINKING RATIONALLY, TRUST ME IVE BEEN THERE WHERE I FELT LIKE I COULDNT USE MY HANDS, LEGS. FELT LIKE I COULDNT WALK OR DRIVE, EVEN TEXT. LOST ALMOST 20 POUNDS DUE TO THIS HA. IVE ONLY GOTTEN 30 HOURS OF SLEEP IN A MONTH, SEEN MULTIPLE DOCTORS. I WAS 140, NOW IM 160 I FEEL LIKE I OVER SLEEP NOW HAHA AND ITS GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY. She was getting mad at me because I wasn’t focusing on the things I need to focus on haha. (I go to a university hospital and If you read my past post I’ve seen a lot of pcp just wasn’t mine cause she was on medical leave but she knows about my information since it was noted” Well to sum it up, she knows that I’ve been going through many ALS fear for some months now and she knows about my fasciculation's in my left calve (my hotspot) and all over. she said, “you don’t have ALS, we don’t look for twitching in ALS, we look for real clinical weakness.” She also said “you’re 25 years old, your muscles are probably telling you... hey I need to move.” I told her I haven’t been exercising or anything at all just labor work. She also explained, if you’re working out and you can barely curl a 5 pound weight come see me. She then asked me if I wanted to see a neurologist and I was kinda caught off guard, I told her “I do but I feel like I’ll be feeding into my anxiety. You don’t think i have ALS right?” She looked at me like I was crazy cause she just explained everything about ALS to me haha she said “NO.” she said “well I’m going to put the referral in and it takes months to see one anyways so if you feel like you don’t need to then don’t.” its funny because the doctor was telling me I should be worried more about diabetes and heart diseases because of my family. My parents also see my pcp so she’s very familiar with my family and she knows that diabetes runs in my family. So now she wants me to eat more healthier and work out more. i actually have an appointment with a neurologist on Monday cause someone canceled, I was kinda happy. so next Monday I have an appointment with a neurologist and I’ll keep y’all updated but just wanted to share my follow up.
  13. 4 points
    Stop liking online period. Let the doctors, who know what to look for, handle that. It will only make you stay in the anxiety spiral which will make your symptoms worse.
  14. 4 points
    You Google, saying "what's the other alternative"? How about seeing your doctor? Let her/him hear all of your ailments and let them decide if any tests are necessary. Then, put your trust in your doctor's acumen, medical experience and knowledge and choose to accept what you are toid, not what a money-driven advertising based computer scheme spurts out as your problems. Dr. Google never met you as he/it doesn't exist. It's a computer program. Your doctor knows you as a person and you need to build a relationship with that doctor and trust them.
  15. 4 points
    So to sum it up, this week I’ve survived...breast cancer, oral cancer, 2 blood clots, and currently am in the middle of a brain aneurysm. I’m one tough cookie.
  16. 4 points
    I wonder if we realise how much we value the body and pay little attention to the Mind? When we are sick it's the Mind that's sick which is projected onto the body. Oh YEAH!! I hear you say! OK, so it's very controversial, but if you have the patience to listen on, well, who knows! All the world and all the institutions in regard to health are related to bodies. In the UK we have the NHS which is all about bodies. In the USA you have people making millions of dollars out of sick bodies. Right? Let me ask you a question. How much time effort and money is poured into the Mind? In the UK we have to fight to get the barest minimum of money from the government for mental health, when so much physical sickness could be avoided should more was put in. On this site you find that the majority of people complain of bodily symptoms. OK, so it happens and that fine, because that's what we are here for; to help each other, compare notes and, where at all possible, to give comfort and reassurance. You guys all do that and bless you for it. But maybe a different approach is needed. The realisation that what we think and believe in becomes our reality. We create 'idols' to worship. Yes, our bodies we do indeed worship or why would we pay them so much attention? If you idolise something you place great reliance on it. Religion in the orthodox sense is such a reliance. People kill in the name of their religion. They believe in it as much as we believe in ill health. Now OK, you may say, so what do I do about that? You begin by realising the problem does not lie in the body but the Mind. So you need to retrain the mind. Therefore, the physical ailments that are associated with the body begin in the Mind. The very realisation of that fact can help. SOME self help books and SOME therapies can help here, but caution is needed because many of the authors have no idea what anxiety is and talk from theory alone. Meditation can help but many find it difficult. An untrained mind will go off in all directions. The Buddhists say it's like a 'mad monkey, swinging from branch to branch, sampling the fruits but abiding nowhere'. The 'monkey' has to be calmed down and taught how to behave. Now what is it that is going to do all this? You? But you are in an anxiety state so how can you? 'The blind leading the blind' comes to mind. But fortunately we all have a Higher Mind, a force way beyond any understanding, but which can be harnessed to bring us good because that is its purpose. When you say, OK, I will sort out my mind, it's what is doing it. Something beyond your normal thought levels. We have all surely felt that something is there to give relief if only we could find it. That 'something is your real self, buried beneath layers of wrong and negative thinking. It's like a blazing light in an attic covered by all the rubbish thrown up there over the years. We need to remove the rubbish and let the light shine because it never went out. The Higher Self; the real YOU is hardly ever given a chance to express itself because we block the way with negativity and our total attachment to our body. The next time you panic or have symptoms sit down take deep breaths and think about it. Give it some thought and try and allow reason to enter, because reason is a message from your Higher Mind. Your primitive mind is telling you that you are ill. Your Higher mind refutes that suggestion and tells you you are not. It's your choice who you believe.
  17. 4 points
    I've got you all beat. About 15 years ago, I got my first cell phone. I was driving home one night and started hearing this brief, odd beeping sound. I'd never heard such an odd sound. It sounded like it was coming from inside my car but I wasn't certain. A search of my car found nothing. i started to panic. After all, I read on Google that people with brain tumors (acoustic neuromas) have reported hearing sounds that aren't really there. I drove the rest of the way home in a panic. I seriously thought of going to the ER asking for a scan. Got home, told my wife. After she stopped laughing, we went to my car. She found my cell phone in between the crease of the seat. The battery was low and the sound was telling me that. she still mentions tat just to needle me every so often
  18. 4 points
    To give you another example, I have grabbed my mug of tea/coffee before in a hurry. Because I did not grab it properly/at a weird angle, I felt compelled to put it down, feeling like it was going to drop. You can be sure that, at the time, it caused me great clammy, light-headed panic However, had no subsequent problems picking up the mug, and if I look at it logically, it had happened many times in the past when I did not grip it properly. When you are in ALS anxiety, everything, all the minute things, are analyzed and interpreted as a possible ALS symptom. The only way to break the cycle is to let it go gently and focus your attention elsewhere. My neurologist told me to stop strength testing and being on the lookout for ALS symptoms. She said ALS patients don't need to go looking for them; they are wacked over the head when they cannot do a basic daily activity that they could do before. Translated to your hypothetical: I would only be worried if you could not pick up the stack of papers , and find yourself repeatedly unable to do so (and that is ASSUMING that it is really a reasonable amount of papers to pick up, and not some type of ridiculous strength exercise devised by an anxiety sufferer ).
  19. 4 points
    Cowboy, cut out the coffee if you can, there is a direct link between caffeine and heart rate as it's a stimulant. You have a belief that your heart will not be able to cope with exercise, anxiety has placed this belief on you. I had the same belief last year, i wouldn't do much for fear of it causing heart issues. During my therapy, i learnt how misconceptions turn into beliefs. You think that exercise is bad for the heart. This is a misconception, the heart NEEDS exercise yet that belief you now have is your safeplace.. "if i don't do anything, it won't beat harder and i will be ok". This is a belief trap and is entirely erroneous. When i came to this conclusion via the help of a therapist, i was told to get up, get outside and go for a walk and test this belief.. lets see how much truth is really in it. I walked and i walked and my heart rate raised......but i'm still here, the belief was nonsense, just a fearful response to possibility. I would suggest getting up one morning Cowboy and go to the gym! Why let a false belief dictate what you do?
  20. 4 points
    Just wanted to hop in and say what an incredible thread this is. Lots of beautiful, honest emotion, communicated in such an intelligent and caring manner. Hugs to all.
  21. 4 points
    CONTROL. What does it mean ‘to be in control’? In everyday terms it’s obviously important. An airline pilot has to be in control of the aircraft; you need to be in control of your car when you drive; a school teacher has to be in control of the class or mayhem would result. When we ask, ‘am I in control of myself’, the so called ‘normal’ person would answer, ‘yes, of course I am’. But are they? When they become stressed or anxious, and that can happen to those who think they are strong, are they still in control? In anxiety our emotions run riot. In a crowd of humans who ‘run riot’ they have to be controlled. The authorities will use all sorts of methods to bring this about. They use persuasion and then, if that doesn’t work, force. We do that, don’t we? We try to persuade ourselves that we are OK. We read we listen, and we try and talk ourselves out of it: we try and persuade ourselves this can’t be happening to ME who was so strong and even happy before. This horrible feeling can’t be me because I can see no reason for it. (There’s always a reason). So we begin the process of fighting back, we struggle with the feelings, trying to control the siltation. But it doesn’t work, does it? We may gain a little respite, a little bit of time; we may even think ‘that’s it, got you’, but back it comes even more severe than when you began the fight. Up and down, will it never level off? It will if you do the opposite to what your instincts demand. The dictionary definition of ‘to fight’ is ‘to enter into combat with’. What happens when we fight something, we are attempting to control it, aren’t we? A nation fights another nation to gain ‘control’. A boxer in the ring does the same. In both cases adrenaline is released. Soldiers need a good flow of adrenaline to go into battle, a boxer needs it too to be aggressive and win. Do we need it in anxiety? Oh NO! The last thing we want is a flow of adrenaline, or to increase the adrenaline already there. So to follow our natural instincts is wrong in anxiety. Right? The adrenaline is there because we have become ‘sensitised’, or open to stress; have taken something into ourselves that normally we would have shrugged off but, because of sensitisation, we have internalised and made it of great importance. Obviously, some things are very important to us emotionally and can’t be ignored, but our reaction in anxiety is out of all proportion to the event, no matter how terrible the event may appear to be. Fear has to be fought, they say. ‘You must not allow this to get the better of you; you must fight this ‘thing’’. But many have been fighting this ‘thing’ for years and yet they still suffer. Why? Because fighting is trying to control and you have a Tiger by the tail. Fighting a Tiger is not wise! Our ancient ancestors knew this and when the adrenaline flowed when confronted with a Sabre Toothed Tiger they ran like hell, and who could blame them! But once out of danger they sat down and cooled off. The rapid heartbeats and ‘skips’ died down; the ‘missed’ heartbeats lessened, the breathing came back to normal; their limbs became less tense and they no longer felt like dashing to the loo, or a nearby bush in their case! Then they went about their business of gathering food. They didn’t do what we do; look over their shoulder all the time fearing ‘IT’ will return. They were not anticipating some terrible event in the future. If another Tiger appeared they dealt with it in the same way, they met it head on, took the appropriate action, calmed down and then carried on. Unfortunately, going against our natural instincts is not easy. In acceptance that is exactly what we are asked to do. But, to me, it needs to goes further than that. Those of you who have been on the site for some time know that I always advocate acceptance as being of great value in anxiety, but I have come to the conclusion that there is a further step we can take. A lot of what I have concluded was triggered by ‘lonesailor’s words in her most helpful articles. The idea of CONTROL. Acceptance is still ‘doing something’: it’s still an idea. ‘I need to accept’ is still a concept. Now in the vast majority of cases this works and, I need to repeat, I am not for one moment saying it’s not a very good practise, but it’s still an idea. It’s a good stepping stone to eventual peace, but I believe there is something beyond that. What I am suggesting is not an idea; it’s what Buddhists call a ‘no thing’. It is devoid of any concept or idea. ‘I must get well’, or ‘I must practises this that and the other to be my old self again’. Give up any idea of doing anything. ‘My God’, I hear you say, ‘but I must do something, surely; if I don’t ‘IT’ will take over’. But ‘IT’ has already taken over, hasn’t it? ‘IT’ is in ‘control’ of you and buffets you around emotionally and physically. It does what it will with you because your fear of ‘IT’ perpetuates its existence. We have to be careful here. ‘Giving up’ is not ‘Giving in’. ‘Giving in’ implies despair, a very expensive emotion in anxiety. It robs you of the will to go on. It’s as if you say that you have succumbed to the feelings and have resigned yourself to having to ‘put up with’ the fear for the rest of your life. Moments of relief but always in the background waiting, like the Sabre Toothed Tiger, to pounce. Always looking over your shoulder, waiting for ‘IT ‘to appear. To completely and totally ‘Give Up’ is a complete abandonment of ANY attempt to get to ‘get rid of it’; to ‘get out of it’; to ‘lose it’; to ‘talk it away’, to ‘tranquilise it away’, to ‘ignore it’. To read books, watch videos, listen to so called ‘Gurus’, listen to endless relaxation tapes, do physical exercises, the lot. It’s to enter a state of ‘Emptiness’. We are full of concepts. Of what we should or should not do. What sort of therapy is best for us; what exercises will help. Our minds are flooded with ideas and we become bewildered and confused. One person suggests something we regard as wonderful and we shout it from the rooftops, only to come back later with the same problem. ‘Gurus’ abound; the world is inundated with books, videos, reliefs and therapies of all sorts, but anxiety is on the increase, (that is an established fact), why? Because we are travelling the wrong Path. Not the Path of Truth but of illusions. We delude ourselves that by doing what the wise people say: the psychiatrists, the therapists, and the authors of the thousand books about anxiety that if we read we will recover. We may well do so superficially, but have we really changed deep down? I realise what I am asking and only a few will understand, but remember, when you are ‘empty’ you can be filled with the right thoughts, you have emptied out the old and are filling it with the new. Not ideas and concepts, but the truth about yourself and others. This is a ‘breakthrough’ as opposed to a ‘breakdown’, a new beginning. It was said by a great Teacher. “You can’t put new wine in old bottles, or sew new cloth on and old garment”. It doesn’t work. The old ‘you’ has to go to be replaced by a new ‘you’. A new ‘you’ who is prepared to listen with an open mind to that which is within, not that which is coming from without. Now to empty the mind of all concepts and ideas does not mean you become a blank. You have to go to work; look after your family, go about your daily business but with a new approach, a new attitude; a receptive rather than a closed mind. None of this is easy; if it were then everyone would do it and the world would change overnight. By giving up control you enter the world of paradox. By giving up control you gain control, but unlike the previous concept of control this one has no fight, no resistance, no gritting teeth and struggling involved: no desperate urging to get relief, no dashing here and there looking, forever looking and not finding. I know only too well how I fought and struggled for two years or more. I was helped, and all the facts I learned, all the experiences I gained, have led me to this one fact. Trying to control anxiety, in the generally accepted use of the word, is impossible. We folk, in the modern world, have to be on the go all the time. To stand still for just one moment seems difficult. Silence is almost unknown. Youngsters have to be in the world of so called ‘music’ all the time. They are almost born with earphones on. Given a peaceful moment do they look around at the beauty of this world? No! Out comes the mobile or the IPod. “To empty the mind of its content: the rubbish we have accumulated; the false ideas and concepts, and begin anew is not easy. It requires a determination and a degree of courage to detach yourself from the herd, to go freely along a Path of YOUR choosing rather than be driven along the path of another’s. ‘OK’, you say, ‘tell me how to do it’. And there we go again. ‘I’ can’t tell you because whatever ‘I’ say is from ‘MY’ mind which still has concepts and ideas and would undoubtedly mislead you. Only you can travel this Path alone. The beauty of the silence will come to you if you allow it in. But if I say to you that ‘you have to be silent’, that’s another concept. Are you beginning to see what I mean? And the inevitable question will be asked. Have you done it? Done what? There is nothing to do but just give up. As the Buddhists say ‘Drop It’. Jon.
  22. 4 points
    Every intrusive thought it ' the worst'. We think this is 'stronger than before' so that makes us think something really IS going on this time, even though it never did before. I also think the more time we get away from intrusive thoughts the more they seem stronger when they come up becuase we haven't had them in so long. Imagine being somewhere it never rains and when it does , it seems like a LOT of rain because it has not rained in a year. That doesn't mean it's more rain than anywhere else on earth but it only ' FEELS" that way to the person who hasn't seen rain in a long while.
  23. 4 points
    Hi Camilla Your therapist was dead wrong in saying stop seeking reassurance or relying on others. I really questions his or her qualifications but that is besides the point. Your hubby is the one you should be able to seek reassurance and support from. I have had my health anxieties in the past and thankfully the hubby would be able to comfort me . When I was younger I suffered greatly with health anxiety. I was not married at the time but I relied a lot on my friends and my family doctor. Never once did she come hard on me. She always took my concerns seriously. Yes you are going through a setback but you will get through this. Have you tried to relax yourself on a regular basis. Maybe once you are calmer you can start to challenge your thoughts by writing them and asking yourself what is the evidence I have c****r? Keep writing them out if you have too and counter them till it gets ingrained in your brain. Go back to your doctor and if he is a good doctor than he will hear you out otherwise find a more sympathetic one. You have kids just like I do all the more reason to say I will get through this. I will be happy and anxiety free for them one day ...BELIEVE in yourself. Lastly you are not a failure !!! I have had many setbacks lost track... I am still in one piece for the most part Take it one day at a time ... You can do this and you can see so many here care. So keep coming back if you have too whatever you feel will help you get through this. I read your post and felt I had to respond. Take care and ((hugs)) amber
  24. 4 points
    Not at all Amber. I know Mark feels as I do, that the suffering has to have some purpose painful as it is. If that purpose is to help someone over a problem then OK. This is a fantastic site. I have experience of many others and this is the tops. So many are badly managed and allow all sorts of nonsense to be posted. It's good to see the Mods on here keep an eye on things. It struck me when going to the other anxiety sites that more harm was being done than good. So many got upset by what others had said. I don't remember one incident like that here. Well, not on the Forum anyway. So folks, give yourselves a pat on the back, and a personal thanks to you all for helping me at times too. Jon.
  25. 4 points
    hi there i agree with JJ and Mark, last year my specialist said i should go on a cholestrol pill since my mother died at the young age of 47 from a massive heart attack, but there were underlying issues that trigged that... " the dumb specialist" said don't you want to see your kids grow up".... that one thought set me off into a tailspin... and i kept obessessing about it. he has been after me to take it for the last 2 years and i refuse to take it because i have been checked out my GP and she said my cholestrol is fine... sometimes I feel these doctors just want to make more money by writing a prescription and than feeding your body with unecessary drugs. maybe more doctors need to be also trained how to be show more compassion to their patients and this doctor knew i was taking anxiety meds !!! just my 2 cents
  26. 4 points
    Hi. Siobhin. One doctor gives you a pill and the other tells you it will make it worse. No wonder you are confused and frustrated! There is no doubt that anxiety can make a migraine worse. I suggest you tackle the anxiety. If you do the migraines will rectify themselves. You know the procedure. Acceptance. Now not only migraine can make you dizzy and sick, so can anxiety. The combination of the two could make you feel bad and that's what's happening. Calm down as much as you can. Getting in a tiz won't help. If you have to rely on others then do so. It won't always be this way. Accept help willingly. Don't feel you are putting people out. A lot of good genuine folk like to help out so let them. Try not to stay in bed too much. It gives you too much time to think and that is a real problem in anxiety. We overthink. We go round in circles. Distraction is helpful but I know you may not feel like 'doing something'. Give it time. You came out before and can do it again. This is a setback so treat it as such. It WILL pass. Jon.
  27. 4 points
    I've had the very same fear before. How I got over it was with a bit of logic. Everyone is afraid of having a heart attack. Everyone. No one wants one and everyone would be scared if they thought they were having one. I balanced the liklihood of me actually having one vs me just having anxiety. Its more likely, like 99.9% likely that it's anxiety. Next I decided it could happen one day or it might not. I don't know and neither does the next guy. Worrying will not stop it happening. I can worry until my teeth fall out but if I'm going to have a heart attack, I just will, whether I worry or not. It's up to fate. I gave myself permission to worry when it is actually happening. When I'm in the back of an ambulance strapped to the machines. When I feel the pain. When it is actually happening and not before. Sometimes anxiety would give me heart palpitations and chest pain. So I'd wonder 'is it time to worry?' I'd then way up the liklihood that it is anxiety related palpitations and pain or an actually heart attack. It's very much more likely it's anxiety. I'd then promise myself if it got worse or didn't end in a set amount of time, I'd get it checked out, but until things got worse, there's still no point worrying or even paying it attention. Try to live in the moment. Accept it is up to fate as it is with every single human alive. Worry when it is actually happening, not before. I hope this helps. It takes practice but it can be done.
  28. 3 points
    Ok, update. Went to my Dr she said it's either a cyst or lipoma. Either way she's not worried and before I even mentioned soft tissue sarcoma , she said and it's not sarcoma like I know your mind is telling you 😆lol. She so gets me..we also talked about anxiety meds Bec I'm tired. I'm tired of the set backs. She prescribed me a benzo free anxiety medication low low dose. I'm going to probably make another thread to see if anyone is familiar with what she gave me. I'm relieved to maybe get some help. I tried but I can't do this on my own. And as much as I love my therapist the talk therapy doesn't go far with me. Thanks everyone for helping me get through this fear.
  29. 3 points
    Absolute sense, what you're feeling is automated introspective scanning coming from the subconscious. Your fearful of the feeling so you're asking for a 'status report' as your mind was away from the fear whilst you were preoccupied. You felt nothing whilst occupied which is as much evidence as you can possibly get that proves that what you have is anxiety.
  30. 3 points
    You can’t be serious. You really, really need to get some help and fast. You would question the sky is blue right now. Your anxiety is consuming you and you are not thinking rationally about anything at the moment.
  31. 3 points
    Felt really good reading that. Thank you, happy holidays.
  32. 3 points
    Louise, Of course I agree with the others if only for your peace of mind. Pediatric melanoma is sooo rare. Stats are your friend here. Your daughter is 7. In those aged 1-4, the incidence is 1.1 per million. That's basically 1 in a million. In those 15-19 it's 10.4/million which is roughly 1 in 100,000. Being 7, the incidence at that age is much closer to the 1-1,000,000 than the 1-100,000. Both those incidence rates are way, way rare. The chance that your daughter is say 1 in 750,000 is incredibly unlikely to say the least. Many of us w/HA of course say well yes, but in MY case it's that "1". That's called magical thinking. Your daughter being the "1" is no more likely than any other 7 year old. Also, my educated guess is that in those unfortunate young ones who are afflicted, they for some reason literally bake in the sun, day after day after day, likely in warm climates. Please bug them for the results just so you can relax. After you receive the negative result, please also realize the affect our HA has on our families. I'm always nervous that my HA will affect my children. I've seen some evidence of that, and my wife has to counteract the damage I've done, simply by them watching and listening to me, even when I'm not aware they are (because I'm in a panic state). Bob
  33. 3 points
    Dom, If you had initial symptoms of ALS 6 months ago, they would have progressed very notoiceably by now. Typically, a burning feeling is caused by either a nerve or anxiety. My guess is anxiety. You mention weakness but what you have is actually "perceived" weakness. This was proven by your neuro exam. If you had ALS you would not be able to pass a neuro exam. Also, pain is not a symptom of ALS; in fact really the sole blessing poor ALS sufferers have, is that they are not bothered by pain. They are bothered by progressive inability to use their muscles. Actual weakness; such as, inability to turn a key in a lock; continual tripping and falling due to actual muscle weakness and wasting in a foot or leg. You don't state your age, but ALS when it strikes typically does so after age 50. Even then, the numbers are like 1 in every 20-30,000 per year. What you do clearly have is anxiety; health anxiety and perhaps other forms. Have you thought of trying therapy/counseling? CBT is said to be the go to treatment given in counseling. Anti-depressants are always a possibility if your doctor and therapist feel it makes sense for you. The stock market is going down. i wish i could invest gobs of money in a stock that pays me if you don't have ALS. It would be like having a license to print money. Bob
  34. 3 points
    I had Stage III colon cancer in Jan 2009 and never had flattened stools (2cm tumor) and no blood. Colon cancer seldom has symptoms. I had a blockage from taking Imodium after some super greasy food. I couldn’t eat or pass gas. My abdomen rumbled so loudly it could be heard across a large room. In April 2012, I had a liver met and 80% of my liver removed. At this point and time, my oncologist says I have a zero % chance of recurrence. I’ll have my final CT/ MRI in Oct. and a blood test every six months for as long as I want. Stage IVa and CURED.
  35. 3 points
    I just wanted to thank everyone for there support through my hard times. It's nice to be apart of group who is understanding. I was ashamed of being scared all the time. Being a man I felt it made me less of one for being scared all the time. I realize know that's no true everyone has a battle in life at some point. My battle came at 34. I had my mri and it was all fine. Some minor things that had no medical significance. Every test has been done. My doctors where on top of it. So I guess I am ok and anxiety took over making things worse. I am now trying to except the answers I got and move on with my life. Health anxiety is horrible and I feel everyone who struggles with it. Thanks for the help all.
  36. 3 points
    You feel better, for a short time, when you post because you get your thoughts and fears out, and you also get reassurance. Typical of HA - that was me for a long time. Nearly everyone who posts regularly here has the same problem. You're finding temporary but measurable relief in posting. Instead of running to the forum, can you try journaling? Write your fears down in a personal notebook, and don't post them on the forum. We are more than happy to help, but avoiding posting for a while, and instead "posting" in a private journal, will likely provide much of the same relief. Write down what you fear, and why. Then write down why you *shouldn't* fear it. Reassure yourself. Then, later on when that same fear returns, to back to the journal and read every entry about that fear. You won't even need to write about it anymore; you'll just find relief in reading your past thoughts.
  37. 3 points
    They just "are" Perfect, totally perfect. That thought comes from your being level and not your intellect. It's the intellect that provides the room for anxiety to flourish. To just 'be' is the calmest and most stable mindset you can possibly have.
  38. 3 points
    Perspective is important, too. Try to keep in mind that it could always be worse, and it is for so many others. That's not to say that what you're feeling is insignificant or unimportant; that's not true. But to hold on, I feel like it's important to keep some positive perspective and tell yourself, even if you must do so repeatedly, that it could be and is much worse for so many people. I won't tell you to "get over it" - it doesn't work that way. I know. I tried many times to "get over it", but it didn't work whatsoever. The key is not to just "let it go", but to accept it, embrace it, learn from it, and allow it not to break you down, but instead to build you up. Looking back, I don't feel like I'd be as appreciative of life itself had I not gone through many years of severe anxiety, and probably some degree of depression.
  39. 3 points
    Hi Missy! Yes, the veil will lift one day! 100 %! I think the big hurdle in anxiety is we are so uncomfortable in the moment and so stressed out from the physical discomforts, it's hard to trust that the future will hold happiness- but it will! The good news is, life will move you through it all. Bearing the discomfort of the moment and accepting it will give us the strength that we can overcome...the sense of accomplishment and a certain liberty. That will bring us the peace we need within and moves us through life and to happiness (again). You will be happy again:)
  40. 3 points
    Doctor has called me 3 times today and his surgical tech has called twice and emailed 3 times. Whew! He's going to reschedule the cystocopy for after I get an MRU. He was very upset that my test was cancelled because the tech where I was to go said I couldn't have the test except in the hospital after 3 days of steroids and a massive dose of Benadryl (which would call for me to be driven to the hospital an hour away). I don't need pre treatment so he's re ordered the MRU and has told me to demand to speak with the tech and tell them he authorized no pre treatment and they can call him if necessary. While I was on the phone, I'd gotten another notice from Lab Corp about a test being released tomorrow at 10:35. It was the cytology and so I told him I'd be Googling and could he tell me if it was okay. He said it was normal so not to worry and stay off Google! URINENEGATIVE FOR MALIGNANT CELLS. Now I have to find a place (3 within 100 miles) that will do my MRU. I left a message at the place where I always get my MRI/ CT scans and asked for Floyd the tech to call me tomorrow. I'm hoping HE can do it. He's super cool! This doctor is AWESOME!
  41. 3 points
    Gilly is so right! I'm coming up on tests to show that I'm 5 years free of cancer after a spread to my liver. Making it to 4 years was a miracle. A total of 8 years is really amazing. Yet, I worry that my next tests will be bad and I'll be a burden on my family. HOWEVER, I am able to keep my fears invisible (except when my BP is taken at the doctor's office) to everyone now with the help of my anxiety med. I don't talk about them with family except to ask for prayer the day of a test. If I didn't have this forum, I'd have only a few online friends who know my anxiety and yet don't know me in real life. Louise, don't ruin this career chance or the chance to give your children happy memories. Squash this fear! Get a better anxiety med short term or long term if needed. You think your kids don't know? I teach 1st and 2nd graders in Sunday School. Yesterday hubby and I had 17. My two most anxious girls immediately came to me with their physical symptoms. One had on a new pair of boots that were bought extra large for next winter. She claimed to have pain on the top of her foot. I showed her the crease in the boot and how it lined up to her invisible bruise. The other had a finger that 'burned' in one spot. It looked totally normal. I told her I saw nothing and the best thing to do was stop rubbing at it and thinking about it. My VERY anxious little girl was not very talkative and looked like something was really bothering her. She doesn't share physical ailments but will refuse the breakfast or drinks we offer (unless it's powdered donuts). Once lesson was over and we started playing 'Mother May I', she was laughing and a different child. Our children sense our fears and if Mom is afraid, there really must be something bad to worry about. We teach our children to have health fears, plus many other fears. For your career, your husband and those little ones, get hold of this and find a medication that helps you. Klonopin was the med (after trying xanax and something like that) that lasted all day with me. No half life melt down between doses. I've never needed an increase in dosage and I've taken it for 5 years now. Please make an appointment with your doctor, ask for a med and explain that you have some new things coming up and that it's caused your health anxiety to get out of control. Choose your favorite doctor that you feel takes you seriously and be brutally honest. They can help you. Diane
  42. 3 points
    Girlie... HUGS! Now what are you doing? Negative thinking.. anticipating something you have no idea the outcome right? You are so scared of the end result.. Anxiety lives in the future. What if? what if?? We cannot answer that. But worrying yourself sick before hand will do you no good right? As I said before.. You set the goal to go and you are .. Give yourself a pat on the back because that is brave and awesome of you. So you go and do u then get stuck in the waiting game? Of course. But you have a choice here.. Sit by the phone wait and panic thinking the WORST. OR stay busy.. put your focus elsewhere and say.. I will face whatever comes to me when it comes. Because thinking the worst will set u up for failure. You will fear yourself into a frenzy thinking this is it , IT WILL be bad. And then when he results come back clear you think OMG why did i do that to myself when I had nothing to worry about in the long run. Fact: we cannot change the outcome But we can control how we react in the process. Positive thinking goes a long way... Try inserting the WHAT IF POSITIVE in where you are placing the negative.. What if : I get a clear result and and healthy and no worry What if: After I get my great results I buy myself a nice ***insert here*** What if: Going to this appointment and making it through gives me such a boost of energy to be able to handle things in the future and set me on a great path You CAN do this... But sitting there over thinking it and worrying about the negative will only make you miserable . You already know this . One step at a time.. one moment at a time. we cant live in the future because it hasnt happened yet.. You have to just live for TODAY. and dont put down the fact that you are brave and courageous and you are going to the appointment that is HUGE. I am proud of you as should you be. Keep it up... Everything will be ok XXX
  43. 3 points
    Hi. gale. No, you don't need a diagnosis you have one. Anxiety! Now I understand you have been to the docs because you are on medication. Everyone who comes to anxiety at first has problems realising what 'IT' can do. 'IT' can mimic any known disease and some unknown ones. It can go on and on if we don't take action. By action I mean make an effort to combat it. Now I suggest that does not involve fighting and struggling with 'IT'. 'IT' loves a good fight and feeds on the fear that fighting causes. 'IT' feeds on fear. Remember that because it's the whole key to recovery. Without fear there can be no anxiety. It's always at the root of the problem. So, how do you stop or turn off fear? You can't. Now that is not a note of despair. It's the realisation that you need to FACE and ACCEPT the way you feel for the moment. Stop adding 'second fear', the Oh my goodness, what's that?' and the constant 'What ifs'.‌ Does it ever go away? Yes, it does but it takes time and that's where the frustration comes in. We anxiety sufferers are an impatient lot. We want to get well yesterday, and that's very understandable. You have to give it as much time as it allows. Trying to rush or force your way out of anxiety is counter productive. It creates more tension. Go with it. Give up the struggle. Have you looked at 'The 100 Symptoms of Anxiety' under GAD on the site? You will find all your symptoms there and more. Now you don't have to have them all. We are individuals, and some get totally different symptoms to others. There is no set pattern in anxiety and that's what makes it so difficult to understand. Keep accepting and try and be as patient as you can. It won't last for ever; promise! Jon.
  44. 3 points
    Hey Kylie!! Way to go girl! Taking that first one is the biggest step! I dont know if it will help you or not, but its worth a try Zoloft was bad for me, but I know a couple of friends who it has helped a lot. One of my best friends has been taking it for about 15 years and she managed to get so much better once it kicked in for her. Try tapering onto the dose slowly if you feel sick (like half a tablet to start and build up the dose), stick it out as long as you can and see if it helps. Even if it ends up not working, at least you know you tried. Take care and i'm here for you!! xoxo
  45. 3 points
    yes i love your idea Gilly ...... we are a cool gang i must admit..... we could play beach volleyball... some of us could just laze around on the beach... some of us could be daring enough to go in the OCEAN... i am afraid of water LOL ... I could finally bring Cubmanben his cookies that he has been waiting for....LOL but you have to share. You all are awesome.. and who knows maybe one day some of us might really meet each other in real life... NOW THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY AWESOME !!! Lots of love out today, kinda having an emotional day but i will be okay because there are good people on this site to pour my heart too. Love Amber
  46. 3 points
    Hi owly. Oh no!! Not preparing for the worst. Not by any means. Acceptance is preparing for eventual relief. There are many on this site who believe management is a better word than cure and I go along with that. We have a nervous temperament. Now there's not a lot you can do about that. BUT, you can learn to manage it so that when symptoms occur they NO LONGER MATTER. It's like a headache. You don't get in a tiz but take a couple of aspirin and it goes. Management, acceptance, is like the aspirin. We begin to understand that the feelings are just that, feelings. I have talked about this sequence before but it's worth repeating. The brain is an organ. The mind, although part of the brain is master of it. When you get a twinge, or you feel you need worry about something, (like your wife), the mind sends a signal to the brain. DANGER!! The brain, being a loyal servant of the mind does its thing. It sends a message to the adrenal glands to secrete the hormone adrenaline which it does. Now this action is a direct descendant from our ancient ancestors who, when faced with a Sabre Toothed Tiger, had to run fast. The fight/flight mechanism comes into play. To fight the Tiger would not be wise, (!!) so they ran. You can't fight or run so the adrenaline has nowhere to go except into your body where it's not dissipated by running away. It's internalised and plays merry hell with you. See the cycle. Worry/fear/adrenaline/fear..............It's said that the front part of the brain, the reasoning part, gets lost and the primitive back part comes into play. We have a lot to thank our ancient cave man ancestors for. Don't we just.. Keep at it owly. The only way is UP!! Jon.
  47. 3 points
    Buddhists have a saying. "The untrained mind is like a mad monkey, swinging from branch to branch, sampling the fruits and abiding nowhere". In anxiety we do swing from branch to branch, don't we? We sample the fruits in all sorts of ways. Various therapies, books, advice, prescribed drugs, (and sometimes un-prescribed ones!): alcohol, exercise, listening to music, rushing here and there but to what end? Relief from symptoms. We hardly ever tackle the problem at its root. The mind. Why? Fear. Fear of the unknown. At least we know our anxiety; it has been our companion for so long that it can often be a safe place. If we venture into the realm of the mind what will happen? It is unknown territory to most of us and to go into a place that is unknown can makes us fearful. CBT and such therapies are used to re-train the mind; to think differently; to reason and challenge the thoughts. But there is always that element that is left out; that indefinable something within us that is crying out to be heard. Most therapies are mechanical. They treat us as if we were machines to be tinkered with and made to work better; so what is lacking in them? Have you ever felt there is a 'you' beyond you? Something that you can't put your finger on but you know that if you could contact it all would be well? It is sometimes referred to as "The ghost in the machine". I am not talking about religious belief but something in mankind that is always there, religious or not, but unrecognised. If a violin or a piano is badly tuned it will always give bad music. Instruments have to be tuned just as the mind has to be re-tuned until it sounds the right notes. Avoidance and escapism is prevalent in Society let alone in anxiety. People escape in soaps, films, videos, entertainment of all sorts because to be quiet and think about life and where we are going is painful, and pain must be avoided at all costs. 'If it's not fun, don't do it' children are taught. But the constant pursuit of pleasure leaves no room for experiencing the opposite so that when faced with a serious life situation we are at a loss as to what to do. Pain is as much part of life as is pleasure. Facing one and ignoring the other can only lead to disaster. Why do people suffer for so long, sometimes many years, with anxiety? Because it is never tackled at its root. The mind. Jon.
  48. 3 points
    I think I am getting the hang of the practice of "acceptance". I want to explain it here in the hopes it will help someone else - or in case I forget again and need to remind myself how to get it back! It has been several weeks since I got worked up with worrying about "what if?" and "how will I?". It's not that the worries and fears are gone - they are all still there - but my attitude towards them has shifted. Last night a few worries popped into my head about the upcoming Christmas season, the things I need to do, traveling, finances etc. but instead of worrying about "how I will handle it all?" or "what if I get anxious?" I simply noted the thoughts and then reminded myself that I only deal with the here and now. No sense running all that stuff through my brain when I am laying in bed at 10pm. I told my husband it's like I have made a compartment in my brain where those fears and thoughts go. If I catch one I send it to that compartment. I might have to go and retrieve something from there at some point but more likely stuff will just sit there and eventually go away of it's own accord. The compartment is there in my head but it's just set off to the side. Oftentimes I am aware of the compartment and I realize there are things in there but they just sit and make a bit of background noise while I get on with the task at hand. I don't pull them out to examine them. Sometimes I feel anxious but I just tell myself that those feelings should just live in the compartment too. So I'm aware of the anxious feeling - and I don't really like the way it feels - but it just has to stay in the compartment out of the way of the real things that occupy my life. But I don't let the anxious feeling worry me because I remember that worries and fears go into that compartment too. I only deal with the here and now and not "what if's". So the anxiety hasn't really gone away. But I have put it in it's own compartment. And the best I can explain is that it doesn't sting as bad from there. I am still aware of it but it's just a discomfort instead of an all-consuming, horrible feeling. It is taking time and practice and some days it happens more easily than others but I know that with more time and practice the act of compartmentalizing will become more and more automatic and I will likely become less and less aware of the dim noise coming from it.
  49. 3 points
    Lol Gilley! These are some great accomplishments and observations Lonesailor ! I need to find some time to spend here to write out some of my thoughts this week. Monday was tough, Tuesday got better, Wednesday was really good and now today (Thursday) is a little hard again though not as bad as Monday. What gives?! The ups and downs are brutal. Like Jon says it is habit. Of course it is. And it takes more than one or two good days to break years old habits I suppose. On Monday Jon also pointed out that a setback is hard when it is experienced in contrast to some recent good days. Then our imaginations set in and we are off on that rollercoaster again. Trying to fight that today. Yesterday was a really good day, no reason tomorrow won't be too. Today is off for some reason - who cares?! (well I do but I'm trying not to, haha) I love the way you explain the bridge, Lonesailor. I have to drive over a bridge to go to work every single day. There is no alternate route. I experience so much of what you outlined. There are sections where you can't really pull over and I get very anxious as I get closer to those portions of my route. Kind of ridiculous really. Nothing bad has ever happened to me while driving and in a true emergency I suppose one would slow down, pull as far off as possible and put their hazard lights on. So it is not even true that I can't pull over if I really, really need to for some reason.
  50. 3 points
    Not sure where to put this so I put it here. I've been very busy lately. My anxiety is almost nill. I have no idea how that happened. I go tomorrow to have the stitches taken out of my finger:) Alil nervous about that...My friend is about to have a baby any day now. So Im excited about that...Just wanted to check in and say hi:) Hope everyone is well.