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jonathan123 last won the day on March 17

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About jonathan123

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    ......AC's very own Yoda.....

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  1. It looks as if all the old friends have gone. That's sad! I remember when I first came on site and how thriving it was. There are lots of new people now and I wish you all well. It was ten years ago that I began. So much has happened since then and life moves on. There is no doubt that anxiety is on the increase, and is it any wonder? Take care folks.
  2. Yes indeed. The mind is very powerful. The human mind has created wonders and goes on doing so. But there is always an opposite. It can create negativity and bad thoughts. That of course is our problem. But trying to make ourselves become optimistic while in anxiety is often nigh impossible. So why do we do? Accept! Accept that this is how we will be for a while and give up any thoughts of resistance like fighting 'IT'. That's a battle we can never win. Fighting, struggling or battling are words that should be eliminated from our thinking. Any form of so called action is going to involve resistance. Buddhists talk of action in no action. By doing nothing we calm things down. Now not for one moment am I suggesting it's easy, or am I minimizing the suffering involved. Dr. Claire Weekes' books and recordings have been such a help over the years, and I still listen to them now. Her last book, 'Essential help for your Nerves' was a best seller at one time. It's available on Amazon and I understand her recording are on YouTube.
  3. To all my old friends on this site. I have come back after a long absence. I see the site is still thriving and looks good. Very best wishes to all.
  4. It's strange how so many find some sort of security in a dysfunctional household. The book 'I'm OK. your'e OK' gives many examples of this. Any relationship should be on an equal basis. Adult to adult. But some men will find peace in a dominant wife. If he is happy being dominated then who is to say it's wrong? My old counsellor once said to me that relationships are one of the most difficult things for humans to relate to. And I believe he was right.
  5. I shall be alone this Christmas. My wife died three years ago so this time of year has little meaning for me. But being alone is good, for me anyway. I shall hardly watch any TV. I shall continue with my hobby of model ship building. My ex neighbours are bringing me a Christmas meal. They won't stay because of covid. I appreciate that act of kindness very much. But I am warm, well fed and have a good home, for which I thank God. So many don't have this, and our prayers go out to them. May I wish everyone on here a better New Year. The old one is nearly gone, and the new one could be full of hope. So many still suffer the misery of anxiety, but hope is always there. Maybe difficult to find at times, but it never goes away entirely. Blessings to all.
  6. Ye Gods!!!! As if we have not got enough on our plates without all that nonsense. Superstition is always a desire for security, for the need to feel safe in some belief. In many respects that also applies to religion. To believe that something out there can control our lives in a strange way is to give up our right as individuals. Only WE can make decisions about ourselves based on fact not superstition. The belief in astrology, Taro, numerology etc can only detract from our immediate problem, Anxiety! There are no intangible forces out there making us feel bad, it's all within us. Real tangible events can cause anxiety, but we have to decide what to do about them in the realm of reality not superstition. Belief in such things can only muddy the already muddied waters.
  7. Yup, I am afraid that is the case. But it has to be in the mind first for it to become a reality even if an imaginary one. See your doctor, even though you may not want to go. It will give you some degree of reassurance. Anxiety can mimic any known disease and even some unknown ones!! Look up the 100 symptoms of anxiety and you will see what I mean. Once again that word comes up, 'Struggling'. Fighting, struggling trying to get rid of 'IT' are all counter productive. They exacerbate the anxiety. The secret still lies in absolute acceptance. Do not judge yourself. It's not your fault you feel as you do. Not easy? Of course it's not, but what is in anxiety?
  8. Yes indeed. Welcome. It's so good you are in therapy and it's interesting to note that it's art and talk. Carl Jung, that great psychologist of the last century, used art a lot in his work. I have suggested this to many sufferers. Art is a means of expressing one's feelings and emotions and getting them out and on to paper or canvas. Winston Churchill said during the last war that without his painting he could not have carried on. It can be any form of art, not just painting. Best Wishes.
  9. Absolutely right. A good insight. It's amazing what gems of insights come from anxious people. But we have to remember that some of the most famous classical authors suffered from anxiety and depression. Even Winston Churchill had his 'Black dog' that came and sat at his feet at times. But the word love, so misunderstood, comes up in your post. That, to me is what it's all about. In loving one another we must also love ourselves. 'Love thy neighbour as thyself' It's the 'as thyself' that's important. If you can't do that how can you love another? That is not narcissistic love but a sense of self worth, self esteem. Thanks for that!!
  10. Hi. Cog13. Ironman talks of focus. Imagine yourself as a telescope. You focus on the object you want see to the exclusion of all else around you. But focussing in this way blocks any possible help. You have a mindset of pain and imagination. Leave the telescope and look around you at reality. ALL the symptoms you have can be caused by anxiety, Oh yes, I know, supposing IF!! Doubt and Despair are anxiety's companions. We can't ignore them but we can accept them as part of anxiety. By accepting and not fighting we begin to calm ourselves. There are many blogs and messages under 'blogs' on this site. If you have not done so read them. It may give you an insight as to how others have coped.
  11. Hi. WW. Although as man I have no concept of what it's like to have periods, thank God. I can maybe say something from my experience with patients. The menstrual cycle can be very upset by anxiety. It seems that some women stop having periods while for some it becomes erratic and heavy, . At 35 you should be nowhere near the menopause. Once your anxiety dies down things will return to normal. Being constantly stressed can affect every part of our body. Try not to make a big thing of it. It's normal in the circumstances. In some women it can be a very emotional time. If emotions run riot then it just adds to the anxiety. Once again we come back to ACCEPTANCE.
  12. Hi There. FfF. Welcome to AC. 'Where to start' the million dollar question! First of all I will recommend a book by Dr. Claire Weekes, sadly no longer with us. She was regarded by many as a pioneer in the treatment of panic attacks and anxiety, Available from Amazon. 'Essential help for your Nerves'. It's a compilation of all her books first published in the 1980's. It became my Bible in the early days. She also made many recordings. The first thing to realise that any medication will not 'cure' anxiety, but it can give relief from the symptoms. The second thing is it will take time. Letting time pass and having patience is not easy for the anxious person. I have no 'magic wand', neither has anyone. I have always believed that anxiety has it's roots in the past. Childhood experiences etc. But present problems like bereavement or a job loss and suchlike can trigger it off. There is always HOPE! Keep that firmly fixed in you mind. You are doing the right thing in going for counselling. In my view as an ex counsellor there is no better way out of anxiety. But you have to trust your counsellor, and that is essential. You also need to open up fully. Now this again will take time, one session will only prepare the way for the journey you are on. Anxiety can be life changing. Some emerge from it much better people than before. And it is long journey and can be a bumpy ride. But with perseverance and the will to get better it can work. NEVER give up on yourself however tempting it may be. Everyone on this site knows the pain of anxiety, so you are in good company. Be kind to yourself. No self criticism or doubts. No one brings this on deliberately, although with some people it is prolonged by having false advice. Keep well away from Dr. Google. You will be led up manty dark alleys if you go there. Very Best Wishes.
  13. Yes, April, but you are dwelling on it. If you did not have any effects when you were 12 why would you have them now? When we are in an anxiety state reason and logic fly out of the window! But the facts still remain in spite of that. And the fact is that nothing will harm you unless you believe it will. That is what anxiety is all about. The mind!! Chase these foreboding thoughts out of your mind. They are bluffing and fooling you into a false belief.
  14. Hi. Thrufaith. You are terrified! When a soldier goes into battle he too may be terrified or at the least afraid. The adrenaline begins to flow and he goes forward irrespective of how he feels. When the battle is over he calms down and reverts to normal. We sufferers don't do that. When we are fearful we add fuel to the fire by going on feeling anxious and afraid. The viscous circle begins. Fear/anxiety/symptoms/fear!! You are obviously at a very low ebb. Your emotions have taken control and you are so upset and hardly know what to do. I do know, been there!! Your PCR result was negative and so will your covid one be. If you had it you would have more symptoms than you have now. Try, I say try, because it's not easy, but just try to accept what comes without reacting to it. I have just posted another message about this very thing. Reaction to how you feel comes from a tired mind, which is not helped by all you have to do in your life and profession. It's OK for your husband to say relax, but he is not you and may have no idea of the pain of anxiety. Relaxing is damned nigh impossible, but you can accept what comes without reacting, and accepting it all.