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jonathan123 last won the day on April 8

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About jonathan123

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    ......AC's very own Yoda.....

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  1. And in answer to the thread, everything!!! I had every disease known to man, and some unknown ones of my own making until I learned to accept that it's how I am. I still get anxious from time to time, but accept that this will be so and let it pass. It always does. I have known many people with chronic health anxiety live to a good age.
  2. Hi. GAD, (General Anxiety Disorder) is what it says. General! It covers a multitude of complaints. But health anxiety seems to be very prominent. Our basic fear is fear of death. That some awful disease will come about and that's it! But life is a series of problems. Good times and bad. You could worry yourself sick (literally) over nothing then get hit by a bus. If we don't take life as it comes then we are in for a very bumpy ride. If you have been checked out and found to be OK then accept what they say. Contrary to opinion they do know what they are talking about. Five years at medical school, three years as interns and often many years of practise gives them the right to be right. Why don't we always believe them? Because fear has become a habit. A little child could lead us when we are in an anxiety phase. We believe all the negative stuff as on Dr. Google, but can't believe the positive stuff. We need to accept life as it comes. Good and bad. light and dark. We live in a world of opposites. Everything has it's opposite. Two sides of the same coin. So remember, when we feel down and anxious the opposite is always there. We never lose it but it is kept subdued by fear. Our minds are like a very bright light in an attic, but covered by layers of fear and anxiety. We need to remove those coverings and let the light shine as is our natural state.
  3. Hi Atman. The cause of my anxiety many years ago was palpitations. They came on suddenly and for no apparent reason. I knew nothing about anxiety then and had never had it. It sent me into an anxiety spiral. I went to the docs and was given an ECG but nothing showed. The doctor said it was 'nerves'. Did I believe him? Oh no, because I had convinced myself there was something seriously wrong. I panicked which made the palps ten times worse. I knew noting about the 'fight/flight' syndrome then. After 30 odd years I still get them, but I just accept them as being part of my reaction to any form of even mild stress. They go when the anxiety quietens down. It's the unexpected that throws us. You may even be at party and enjoying yourself when they come on. It can be frightening or just disturbing. The secret is to go on with what you are doing and accept them for the moment. Have a checkup if you have not done so if only for reassurance. Palpitations can be one of the most frightening of all anxiety symptoms, but they are harmless.
  4. Hi Mountains. I suggest you see an optician or your doctor, but what you have is pure and simple anxiety symptoms. The eyes can be badly affected by anxiety. Dark spots, blurry vision, zig zag lines, flashes in the corner of the eyes and many more. You are being bluffed into thinking something is wrong with you physically. Bluff is one of Mr. Anxiety's little tricks. It stirs you up into believing lies about yourself. This will all go once you settle down. It's the fear of the fear of what it might be that keeps it going. The more you fear and concentrate on it the worse it will be. Accept it for the moment and give yourself time.
  5. I had my vaccine jab a few weeks ago. I don't know about the USA but here GP's are giving the vaccine. Lugrad is right. There is no way that anyone would give you a vaccine you didn't want. It would be professional misconduct of the worse kind.
  6. Hi Rainbow. Good to hear from you again. I remember you from the early days on this site. It's so very good to get a post like yours. You sum up what recovery really means. Of course there is no 'cure' for anxiety. Some of us are wired that way. But it can be managed so that it does not unduly affect our lives, and that's what you have done. The vast majority of anxious people are sensitive, and this world is not a place for sensitive people! But to live in some sort of peace we must learn to manage our anxiety. "I was always looking for a quick fix or seeking reassurance from others. Well let me tell you it doesn't work" You are so right. Reassurance may give very temporary relief, but when it comes down to it YOU are the only person who can really help yourself. By acceptance and patience, (very difficult), no one who has been there would say it's easy, not by any means. It takes perseverance and a lot of acceptance, but it can be done. YES!! Don't be afraid of 'IT'. The more you allow the fear of the fear to come the worse it will be. Sit down with it, ask it what it is trying to show you about your life. For any affect (anxiety) there must be a cause. That is the law of physics. It applies just as well with anxiety. Losing your job must have been traumatic, but good has come out of it. None of us know what life holds for us, but as a medieval monk once said, "The dark cloud that breaks with blessings on your head". Thank you for your post, and I hope all goes well for you.
  7. Hi Betsy. I have just come upon your interesting post that poses so many questions. They are all questions most of us ask ourselves at times, and so often no answer is forthcoming. Unless you have been there there is no way anyone can understand. No way!!!! People who do not suffer as we do have no concept of what it's like, and are best ignored when they come out with stupid uncaring remarks. "Anxiety strings barbed wire across doorways and coats people in broken glass". How well put! Can you see why so many don't understand. Only those who suffer will understand. I had many years of this kind of torture, and my wife and a good counsellor helped me through it. Some of the remarks made to me at that time beggar belief. It sometimes took days to get over them and I seriously began to think I was to blame and I should be able to 'snap out of it'. That I was a coward and lacking in courage. I now know that anxiety sufferers are some of the most courageous people around. They fight and battle against their problems for years and seem to get nowhere. Dr. Weekes, as you know, was against fighting and struggling with 'IT'. "It’s that anxiety gives you anxiety". YES, that's it!! We get caught in that awful viscous circle of fear/ symptoms/anxiety/fear. Breaking the train is difficult because it can become a habit. Why bathrooms? Because they are places we can lock the door and let our emotions free. We can't do it in public, at least only with those who understand, and they are few. We can become ashamed of how we feel, as if in some way we are weak or lacking self control. This is an illusion that goes with anxiety. We should certainly not feel ashamed or as if we lack self control. Emotions can take over, and controlling them is nigh impossible. But we come back to Dr. Weekes and acceptance. It took me a long time to realise the value of accepting and going with the flow. Bending with the wind! Also, it made me into a more caring and compassionate person. It so often does that and can be a valuable teaching experience. Very best wishes.
  8. To anyone who has replied to my posts and not got an answer it's because I am not getting your replies. I have informed Admin. It says you have replied but nothing comes up. I don't think it's my computer although I will check it out. Sorry about that.
  9. Hi. MARC. This is a very difficult subject, and has caused problems over the years. While someone may recommend a book, I agree with you that recommending websites' is advertising, although the person putting it on may have no connection with the site. If payment is required then it certainly is out. There are many websites that advertise anxiety treatment and there should be no need to put them on here. A declaration that they have no connection with the site they recommend might be useful. Best wishes.
  10. Hi. Luaren. If I may be permitted, here's a big virtual hug from me. I am so sorry you went through such deep trauma. Things happen in life over which we have no control, which makes it all the more frustrating and makes us angry. Why me? What did I do to deserve such treatment? Have you had any counselling? As a retired counsellor I can't overestimate the value of good one to one counselling to ease the burden of bad memories. Find someone you trust, and if you can afford it, get some help. Or even a friend or family member. You may not be surprised to learn that the majority of women patients I had had been abused in some way, and mostly within the family. They never complained for fear of causing trouble and upsetting the family. They were so often told to keep quiet for that reason. All this can lead to a fear of men in general. Even a hatred of men. Any relationships with men can be so upsetting that the person becomes anti social for fear of being hurt again. Memories can strike like a blow, and when they do it can take days for a person with anxiety to recover. Having someone you trust and can talk to about such intimate matters can help a lot. 'Going it alone' is not an option, and it's why sites such as this are so helpful. I very much doubt that there are few women who have not had some adverse experience with men. Sexual abuse is far more common within families than we may realise. As children we have no idea what is happening and may even consider it as 'normal' behaviour, thus growing up with a distorted view of love and sex. Take care and be kind to yourself. You are in no way to blame for what has happened to you. Blaming themselves for such incidents is very common and so untrue.
  11. Hi MAK-KAMO. Absolutely right. It is NOT an illness, and that is why so many find it difficult to understand and help. The times I have heard 'pull yourself together'! That's just what the sufferer want's to do but can't. If it were an illness and visible then we would get a lot more help and understanding, but because it's not understanding is rare. Even some doctors fail to recognise the effects of anxiety. People will go on endlessly about a physical illness, but clam up when it comes to mental issues. Most doctors get very little training in anxiety, and most will just pack you off with a pill when you need some care and understanding. You can have everything and feel nothing'. How very true. The emotions and senses become numb. Howard Hughes, the American billionaire, had very bad OCD, and all his money could not rid him of it. When some people with no understanding look at us they see a healthy looking person with, apparently, no life problems. Unless they have been there they will never know the agony of anxiety. If counselling is available then take it. One to one talking can be so effective. If you have trust in the counsellor then being able to talk to someone who is objective can help a lot.
  12. Hi. cutecat. What so many women fail to recognise is that sex for a woman is an emotional experience. For a man not so. In the atmosphere of a loving relationship both partners will experience it in different ways. The guy got what he wanted and has left you emotionally drained. Sorry to be so blunt, but that is the truth of it. I think you fell in love with him, but not him with you. Now it is embarrassing for both of you at work. You can't 'unlove' someone, but you can give it time to fade. The dream triggered an unconscious desire that had been there all the time, but the dream caused it to emerge. You sound a very sensitive person, and this can be a hard world for sensitive people. If I may say so it does seem as if he is trying to make amends, but your rejection of him will make him give up. Can you not bring yourself to have a serious conversation with him? Your rejection of him is causing a breakdown of communication. We can never know what is in another's mind, and it's so easy to jump to conclusions. Rejection, or the feeling of, can make us angry. We tend to try and hurt the other person, which is counter productive because we end up hurting ourselves. Do try and talk to him, it's the only way to resolve the situation. You need to know how he feels about you and what has happened.
  13. In answer to your question Scott, yes it is 24/7 it's still with us. If you could switch it off now and then for a bit of peace you would. Medication is fine, in the short term, but getting to the cause is important too. Is it possible to get any counselling? For any effect there has to be a cause. That's the immutable law of physics. Look at your life style. The way you live and how you respond to people. This is not something that just happens. You need guidance and help. It can be a childhood problem and so often is. Please don't fight or struggle with 'IT'. That's a war you can never win.
  14. Hi Scott. As everyone says, these are all anxiety symptoms. It may be good to know why. FEAR!!! Fear is always at the root of anxiety. No fear no anxiety. When we enter into fear of any sort our body reacts accordingly and in the only way it knows. The mind says 'danger' and the brain, which is just another organ, responds automatically. It puts you in the fight/flight mode. The adrenaline glands which produce the fear hormone, are turned on. Now this is not a conscious act. It's automatic. You begin to breathe fast and your chest feels heavy. This is so that when you want to run away from danger you take in as much oxygen as you can. You may want to dash to the toilet to lose weight so you can run faster. The heart palpitates because it needs to pump blood faster, and all the other symptoms of anxiety/fear follow. Now to our ancient ancestors who were confronted with big hairy Mammoths, this was the only thing to do. Run, and as fast as possible. We have inherited that experience and it's good we have because it keeps us away from dangerous situations. But when it begins to frighten us that's when it becomes real anxiety. It's so difficult for us to realise that what happens is perfectly normal behaviour in the presence of fear. We set up the old viscous circle, fear/ symptoms/ fear!! A dog chasing it's tail. Acceptance of all the symptoms is the only real answer. Elimination of the fear of fear. Go easy on yourself. By all means seek medical advice, but you have already done that.
  15. Hi. Nick. There is a problem in anxiety called Globus Hysteretic. It gives the impression that the throat is constricted when it's not. It's another of Mr. Anxiety's little tricks. The more you worry about it the worse it gets. You won't choke or not be able to swallow because nature sees to that. This complaint can be very upsetting, but it's all smoke and mirrors. The vast majority of anxiety symptoms are illusions. Now that may seem a sweeping statement, but it's true. They seem so real because we make them so by constant worry and stress. The sympathetic nervous system controls our normal functions. Try to stop breathing! You can't, because the nervous system won't allow it. Try to stop your heart beating!!! Left alone, all these functions operate smoothly, but when subject to stress they can play up. The breathing gets faster, the heart beats faster and may palpitate. All harmless symptoms but ones that make us freak out. Just accept, for the time being the symptoms as nasty as they may seem. Try not to add fear to fear. A very common mistake anxiety sufferers make. 'Oh my God, what's that??' Immediately the body responds by going into the fear cycle. It senses danger and responds accordingly. Knowledge can be a powerful tool in anxiety. Take it easy and look after yourself.