jonathan123

Hi. Mambobanes. The answer is let them come but see them for what they are. Thoughts in a tired mind. Trying to not have them and fighting them off is useless. Try not to react to them. If you allow them to frighten you it will make things worse. You can look for distractions, but eventually you come back to having to face the thoughts. They are only thoughts and thoughts never did harm. There is no death certificate that says 'he died of thoughts'. They can make you feel bad, oh yes. Allow them to come, but look at them without comment. They only have the energy you give them.

Hi Lauretta. You reaction to anger is because you are sensitised. Your nerves and emotions are wide open to any form of emotional disturbance. I remember on one occasion hearing two men having a verbal fight in a restaurant. I was very sensitised then and it took me days to recover. Anger is a very powerful emotion and opens up all sorts of problems both physical and emotional, none of which are mentally healthy. There may not be any real threat but to your unconscious mind there is. Something in the past of which you are no longer aware may be triggered by anger in others. How to handle it? Accepting how you feel for the moment can help, and when you can get counselling it may be that the cause can be found. For some obscure reason anger is a threat to you and spells danger. Your unconscious is at wok here and repressed emotions rise to the surface when you feel anger in others. I don't know enough about you to make suggestions other than acceptance of how you feel, which may not help a lot at the moment. The cause needs to be found. It may be childhood event or something closer to your present life. But it is almost always a repressed childhood trauma. You say you come from a quiet relaxed family, but that does not rule out a traumatic event you have repressed. I could maybe help more if you message me. There may be events it's difficult to discuss on an open forum. Best wishes.

Hi. Nepal99. It seems as if your life has become so chaotic you have lost a lot of your self esteem. You have a Masters degree and you are an intelligent guy. Can you use that intelligence to get you over the problem? Now not for one moment am I saying it's easy. It's not, neither am I minimising your pain. Things have pilled up on you to the extent of making you feel you can't cope. The experience with the dying lady was exaggerated by your anxiety. When 'sensitised' and you are, anything that seems sad or grotesque will be accentuated out of all proportion. Things you would have shrugged of before stick in the mind. Your mind is tired and anything can seem far worse than it is. Memories you thought you had forgotten, like your uncle, come to the fore and again stick in the mind. The more you try to stop them the worse they get. Now you do need help and if it's possible where you are some counselling may be good. You don't have to take medication if you don't want to. Have a doctor you can visit where you are? They can often help a lot. But if you feel you can overcome this on your own then maybe you can. First of all accept your feelings and emotions for what they are. The result of anxiety and fear. What's happening to you is perfectly normal IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES you create for it. You 'swim in an ocean of dread' Now can you see that by thinking that way you add fear to fear. You are reacting to fear and you are desperately trying to fight your way out. Stop fighting, give into the struggle. Not give up, that's different. Let it all come, but accept it, all of it. Try not to control emotions, you won't win that one. By giving up control you gain control. A paradox but true. Can you see that? Control implies effort and effort needs energy which you may not have a lot of. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Give yourself and others compassion.

Hi. Wingnut. You have got yourself into the old cycle of 'Fear/anxiety/symptoms/fear. It's a cycle you may well know about. Exhaustion is one of its many symptoms. We expend so much energy in 'What Iffs' and 'OMG's' that at times we are so tired we can hardly move. Our motivation goes too. The 'get up and go' got up and went!! You 'tried to sleep'. The more you try the more awake you become. It's a viscous circle. Yes, you can cry and go fishing, but it goes deeper that mere distractions. You may have seen your GP, if not you should. You may need SHORT TERM medication to help you through this difficult phase. If you don't want medication then, as Holls says, counselling could help. If you can get it. I don't know the postion of getting counselling in the States. Another and much tried way is to get Dr. Weeke's book 'Essential help for your Nerves' available on Amazon. She was an authority on anxiety. She advocates ACCEPTANCE. This means no fighting 'IT'. No struggling with 'IT'. It's a battle you can never win. The more you fight 'IT' the more adrenaline you produce and the more symptoms there will be. You have turned your mind into a battleground. You can't ignore it, that's silly, but you can accept it. It's not easy when it frightens you every day. When you wake up in dread of another day. When you awake in the mornings your metabolic rate, the rate you use energy, is low. It is with all of us. It sets the template for the day. If you awake and think 'how awful, another day' then that's how the day will be. I am NOT minimising your condition. God knows, been there. TRY, I say try because it's not easy, try and accept that all the symptoms are those of anxiety, full stop. They are the result of continued fear. There is nothing abnormal or 'odd' about you. Anxiety breeds on fear. It must, and the only fuel it has is fear. Don't feed it. Very best wishes. Take it easy. Be kind to yourself.

Thank Marc. I am sure that has helped everyone with ALS fears. That was about all they needed. We posted recently about words and the damage they can do to susceptible people. Suggestion is a source of real concern in Health anxiety. If we can't say something positive best not say anything.

Hi Holls. I do agree. I have no wish to cause offence, but I suggest that while it's OK to air our own problems, because that's what the site is about, but any advice given should be carefully worded. If we come back with a negative response that will only make the person worse because we are all so open to suggestion. Words have power, and I have said this many times. Words are symbols of ideas, and negative ideas abound in health anxiety. Our vulnerability is often overlooked in this awful problem. I know that Ms. Moon did not post that in any way to upset anyone, we need to appreciate that. There have been many such posts over the years and it still emphasises the importance of choosing words carefully. Best wishes.

It's so very often difficult to convince an anxiety sufferer that anxiety can mimic any known disease. Once it's in the mind it can come out in all sorts of ways. Health anxiety is based on fear, as is all anxiety. Do I have this or that? If I describe the symptoms of Mongolian swamp fever, (don't look it up, no such thing), then you may well find you have it. Suggestion is powerful. The witch doctor says you will die at midnight. If you have faith in him it may well happen. The mind is also powerful. If in anxiety it picks up some suggestion it can outpicture on the body. Even if you have been told you are medically OK. We just can't believe it's 'only anxiety'. It's very difficult because the aches and pains are there. We feel them and just can't believe it's 'all in the mind', but it is. I am assuming that you have been checked out medically. That should be the first port of call. Your GP. This is why ACCEPTANCE is so important. It cuts of the flow of adrenaline. It takes time and patience but is possible.

Hi. PM. You are undoubtable suffering the results of pent up stress. What has happened to you over the last few months has been traumatic, is it any wonder you feel as you do. You seem to have been checked out and so you can rule out physical problems. Believe your doctors. It's often difficult to realise what anxiety can do. Aches and pains, especially abdominal ones, can so often be the result of stress. The gut is very susceptible to emotional upset and especially fear. It's why so often if in a stressful situation we may have to dash to the toilet. So many have this problem in anxiety. I do hope you are not consulting Dr. Google. A big mistake. You are wide open to suggestion. First of all you must accept this is an anxiety issue. Your referral to a neurologist shows that. Secondly can you stop fighting and struggling with feelings and emotions? Can you accept that for the time being you will feel this way. There is no magic wand, but acceptance is a good way out. Take it easy and try, as best you can, to accept how you feel. It's panful God knows, and sticking with it without trying to run away from it does help eventually. It's a bad time for you as it is for us all. Stress is in the air, no use denying it. Take care. Be kind to yourself.

Sorry, I thought you were talking about THE virus. It's on our minds so much that it immediately sprang to mind. You are right of course about mouse droppings and hantavirus. Best wishes.

Hi. Mel. One thing is absolutely certain, you wont get the virus from mouse droppings. If you wash your hands after there is no problem. We can become obsessed with hygiene. Remember Howard Hughes? A multi billionaire who wore gloves all the time and washed his hands every hour. Everything had to be disinfected before he touched it. Poor guy. Obsession can become well, an obsession. COD is not funny. The only way is to see how we behave and watch for signs that a habit is becoming an obsession.

Hi. There. Oh yes, unseen dangers, things that go bump in the night. It's not in the least funny or silly and can affect adults as well as children. It's another form of anxiety. Your nerves are on edge and your mind conjures up all sorts of horrors. I would suggest that the sooner you get back to your old habitat the better. In the mean time, and you say you are religious, put your trust in God. Nothing will harm you. Another idea, and this may sound silly too, but imagine yourself in a Golden Bubble of light. When you go to bed get into your bubble. You have total protection from any outside force. Bad vibes from a house are so often bad vibes in the mind. Most houses are entirely neutral. There is nothing silly or immature about it. If there is then we all are silly. Can you accept how you feel without concentrating on it? Things change, almost overnight, and you may find the future not so scary. Since man began to walk the Earth he has been afraid of the dark. In those days hairy Mammoths and Sabre Toothed Tigers could leap out on him. Unfortunately we have inherited those fears. When in an anxiety state everything is exaggerated. The slightest sound can be seen as an approaching horror. It's all Mr. Anxiety's little tricks and all smoke and mirrors. Take it easy.

Hi Zazz. You are going though a difficult and hard time. But you know that. How do you fight something that uses your own tactics and turns them into anxiety fuel? Exactly!! That's just what you are doing. There is an expression, 'when in a hole stop digging' and it's true. You are digging away like crazy. What I am going to say may sound just as crazy, but give up the struggle. STOP FIGHTING 'IT'. You can never win that battle. You have turned your mind into a battleground with opposing forces fighting each other. Fear of what might happen and the desire to get well. Giving up is not 'giving in', no way!! But flighting and struggling with 'IT' must stop. There is a book available on Amazon that became my Bible. Many on here will remember it and have it. It's 'Essential help for your Nerves', by. Dr. Claire Weekes, who is sadly no longer with us. I have written articles on this and if you look under 'Articles' on the site they may still be there. She talks of 'Facing' our problem head on. No running away in distractions. The main part of her teaching is ACCEPTANCE. Now this is far from easy. When you are being battered and got at by 'IT', accepting what is happening may sound strange. But by accepting and not fighting you calms down the constant flow of adrenaline (the fear hormone). It may come as surprise to you, but your body is behaving perfectly normally IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. You create fear and your body goes into the 'fight/flight mode as it did with our ancient ancestors. They had something to fear. YOU are not being chased by a big hairy Mammoth!!! We have only ourselves to fear. Fear breeds fear. You have said it all in the quote. You stop it by allowing it to come. Crazy? No!!! Give 'IT' permission to come with all it's apparent horrors. Talk to 'IT'. Ask what it want's of you, what lesson it's trying to teach you about your life. It always is but we have to see it. It's not a monster trying to get you, but a demon of your own making by adding fear to fear. Demons thrive on fear. As for self worth, well, that always takes a knock in anxiety. But why do you feel that way? Never be afraid to post on here or feel you are annoying people. YOU ARE NOT! We all often feel that way. As a human being among millions of other humans you are unique. There is no one like you in the whole world. Your thoughts are your own and unique to you. Being sensitive is NOT ridiculous. You see what you are doing? Knocking yourself down, denigrating yourself in your own mind until you come to believe your own lies. And they are lies. Big ones. You have friends and relatives around you, but they will respond better if you show some sign of making a real effort. Get the book and read carefully. Dr. Weekes was considered an authority on anxiety and panic. Take care. Be kind to yourself. Stop knocking yourself down, and, above all TRY and accept what's happening. Blessings. John.

Hi. Kay. You have bravely undertaken a difficult task. Both you and Gilly need support. Most of the old gang seem to have disappeared. It may not be realised by many how important a site such as this is. It's now virtually world wide. Anxiety is on the increase and that's a fact. Our lives are subjected to more stress than ever before, and I often wonder if we were ever made to cope with such pressures. Anxiety is the inevitable outcome of prolonged stress. When I came on here, what is it 6 years ago, the site was a lot more vibrant than it has become of late. Now no one is to blame for that. It happens because so often old arrangements tend to outgrow their usefulness. Change is important because it can renew enthusiasm. You and Gilly are to be thanked for what you are doing. I for one really appreciate it. Take care.

Hi. TE. Thanks for the clip, but it does raise a multitude of questions. 'Who am I' has been asked throughout the centuries. Plato said 'Man. know thyself'. Do we? Know ourselves? Carl Jung talked about the Persona. The masks we wear when we are in different situations. I talk to the mail man in one way, but put on, metaphorically, another mask or face for someone else. So we are many faceted people, fragmented. Like a fragmented hard drive on a computer. All over the place. 'Pull yourself together' may seem hard when said by ignorant people, but there is some truth in it. The word 'whole' has it's root in 'holy' and 'holistic'. Jung talked of the process of 'individuation', pulling all the fragments together to become a whole person. There is so much that could be said about the words on your clip. It's so often true that no one does take the time to find out. We seem to exist in a bubble of our own. It's not until adversity strikes that we begin to communicate with each other, as on this site. That's sad! It so often takes time for a person to open up and talk to someone about their problems. In counselling I found it's often weeks before the real problems emerge. I don't know who the young lady in the clip is. But she does need help. Kind regards.

Oh Yes!!! It's the old journalist's phrase that comes to mind. 'Good news is not news' !! We rarely hear of the thousands of good results from the medics who perform some often miraculous operations, but when something goes wrong it's all over the front page. We are a funny old lot and no mistake.