jonathan123

I joined this site 12 years ago and left when it went through a bad patch. It now seems to have regained some of its activity. It was a vibrant and busy site back then, and I do see that there are still many posts. There is still a great need for those with anxiety to find a 'home' where they can talk to others in the same situation, even more so in today's atmosphere. Many years ago when I had GAD there were no PC's or anything other than books. To be able to communicate with others who were going through anxiety would nave been great, but like so many I thought at first I was alone. I wish everyone on the site all the best. Contrary to what many think it is possible to recover from anxiety given the will.

I joined this site some 11 years ago and I know it has gone through a lot of ups and downs since then. When Gilly and friends founded the site it became one of the best, and I hope that will now continue. Does anyone know how Gilly is? It is a fact that anxiety is on the increase, and at a fast rate. Is it any surprise with the world as it is? Sites like this are badly needed. When I had GAD there were no such sites and not many had a computer. (Dinosaurs were around then!!😉). The books by Dr. Claire Weekes helped me so much, and her books and recordings are still available. I hope to be able to contribute to the site again.

Dejavu in anxiety is nothing more than an unconscious memory coming 'out of the blue'. Our minds store memory from the moment we are born so that anything can 'trigger' a sudden realisation of a past event without us being able to know why. We have no direct control over our unconscious and it will often show us a message in dreams. The thing to realise is that it is a perfectly normal human feeling which I would suggest we have all had at some time. As in all HA incidents we blow the event up out of all proportion to it's actual value. Anxiety symptoms are no more than normal symptoms that everyone has greatly exaggerated. It is the intensity of this exaggeration that frightens us and adds more fear. Accepting it all as 'normal' in the circumstances can help. We create a 'battleground' for our fears. 'fighting' IT or 'struggling' with IT helps not one bit. Calm acceptance does. Difficult, oh yes, but it can be done given the will.

It looks as if all the old friends have gone. That's sad! I remember when I first came on site and how thriving it was. There are lots of new people now and I wish you all well. It was ten years ago that I began. So much has happened since then and life moves on. There is no doubt that anxiety is on the increase, and is it any wonder? Take care folks.

Yes indeed. The mind is very powerful. The human mind has created wonders and goes on doing so. But there is always an opposite. It can create negativity and bad thoughts. That of course is our problem. But trying to make ourselves become optimistic while in anxiety is often nigh impossible. So why do we do? Accept! Accept that this is how we will be for a while and give up any thoughts of resistance like fighting 'IT'. That's a battle we can never win. Fighting, struggling or battling are words that should be eliminated from our thinking. Any form of so called action is going to involve resistance. Buddhists talk of action in no action. By doing nothing we calm things down. Now not for one moment am I suggesting it's easy, or am I minimizing the suffering involved. Dr. Claire Weekes' books and recordings have been such a help over the years, and I still listen to them now. Her last book, 'Essential help for your Nerves' was a best seller at one time. It's available on Amazon and I understand her recording are on YouTube.

To all my old friends on this site. I have come back after a long absence. I see the site is still thriving and looks good. Very best wishes to all.

It's strange how so many find some sort of security in a dysfunctional household. The book 'I'm OK. your'e OK' gives many examples of this. Any relationship should be on an equal basis. Adult to adult. But some men will find peace in a dominant wife. If he is happy being dominated then who is to say it's wrong? My old counsellor once said to me that relationships are one of the most difficult things for humans to relate to. And I believe he was right.

I shall be alone this Christmas. My wife died three years ago so this time of year has little meaning for me. But being alone is good, for me anyway. I shall hardly watch any TV. I shall continue with my hobby of model ship building. My ex neighbours are bringing me a Christmas meal. They won't stay because of covid. I appreciate that act of kindness very much. But I am warm, well fed and have a good home, for which I thank God. So many don't have this, and our prayers go out to them. May I wish everyone on here a better New Year. The old one is nearly gone, and the new one could be full of hope. So many still suffer the misery of anxiety, but hope is always there. Maybe difficult to find at times, but it never goes away entirely. Blessings to all.

Ye Gods!!!! As if we have not got enough on our plates without all that nonsense. Superstition is always a desire for security, for the need to feel safe in some belief. In many respects that also applies to religion. To believe that something out there can control our lives in a strange way is to give up our right as individuals. Only WE can make decisions about ourselves based on fact not superstition. The belief in astrology, Taro, numerology etc can only detract from our immediate problem, Anxiety! There are no intangible forces out there making us feel bad, it's all within us. Real tangible events can cause anxiety, but we have to decide what to do about them in the realm of reality not superstition. Belief in such things can only muddy the already muddied waters.

Yup, I am afraid that is the case. But it has to be in the mind first for it to become a reality even if an imaginary one. See your doctor, even though you may not want to go. It will give you some degree of reassurance. Anxiety can mimic any known disease and even some unknown ones!! Look up the 100 symptoms of anxiety and you will see what I mean. Once again that word comes up, 'Struggling'. Fighting, struggling trying to get rid of 'IT' are all counter productive. They exacerbate the anxiety. The secret still lies in absolute acceptance. Do not judge yourself. It's not your fault you feel as you do. Not easy? Of course it's not, but what is in anxiety?

Yes indeed. Welcome. It's so good you are in therapy and it's interesting to note that it's art and talk. Carl Jung, that great psychologist of the last century, used art a lot in his work. I have suggested this to many sufferers. Art is a means of expressing one's feelings and emotions and getting them out and on to paper or canvas. Winston Churchill said during the last war that without his painting he could not have carried on. It can be any form of art, not just painting. Best Wishes.

Absolutely right. A good insight. It's amazing what gems of insights come from anxious people. But we have to remember that some of the most famous classical authors suffered from anxiety and depression. Even Winston Churchill had his 'Black dog' that came and sat at his feet at times. But the word love, so misunderstood, comes up in your post. That, to me is what it's all about. In loving one another we must also love ourselves. 'Love thy neighbour as thyself' It's the 'as thyself' that's important. If you can't do that how can you love another? That is not narcissistic love but a sense of self worth, self esteem. Thanks for that!!

Hi. Cog13. Ironman talks of focus. Imagine yourself as a telescope. You focus on the object you want see to the exclusion of all else around you. But focussing in this way blocks any possible help. You have a mindset of pain and imagination. Leave the telescope and look around you at reality. ALL the symptoms you have can be caused by anxiety, Oh yes, I know, supposing IF!! Doubt and Despair are anxiety's companions. We can't ignore them but we can accept them as part of anxiety. By accepting and not fighting we begin to calm ourselves. There are many blogs and messages under 'blogs' on this site. If you have not done so read them. It may give you an insight as to how others have coped.

Hi. WW. Although as man I have no concept of what it's like to have periods, thank God. I can maybe say something from my experience with patients. The menstrual cycle can be very upset by anxiety. It seems that some women stop having periods while for some it becomes erratic and heavy, . At 35 you should be nowhere near the menopause. Once your anxiety dies down things will return to normal. Being constantly stressed can affect every part of our body. Try not to make a big thing of it. It's normal in the circumstances. In some women it can be a very emotional time. If emotions run riot then it just adds to the anxiety. Once again we come back to ACCEPTANCE.