davide.h

How do those work?

It isn't just when I write.

But why? Do I need an MRI?

My fingers sometimes twitch if I'm typing causing me to misspell.

I did and he felt around my abdomen so I guess I'm fine but I don't like the discomfort these meds are causing..but I need them. Dunno what to do.

Have you had constipation? If that's not too delicate to ask.

Been trying to drink more. I'm also not sleeping that well.

Like occasional muscle spasms. Scared that it's ALS. There's no history of it in my family as far as I know.

Does anyone else experience this?

I am so tired though. I work so hard and have not gotten anything. I can have my job or my home taken away just like that. Makes me feel so worthless.

It's hard not to compare yourself to others. That's always true but during the last year with everything virtual, all I see is what people share. I hear about their game nights on zoom or learning to make sourdough or whatever or posting pics with their kids and I just think, what a happy life, and here I am so unfulfilled. Why can't I have that too? 😥

I feel some people still don't take me seriously since I'm autistic. 😟

That will be my age in less than a month. I've never liked getting older but I've aged so much in just one year. My 30th feels so recent still. I hate that my life is flying by and I am still trying to get settled. I don't even have the career I want yet. It's also bad cause nobody ever takes me seriously. This has been a source of stress and depression for awhile and it is constantly dismissed. Is the good part of my life over? Do I have anything left to look forward to? What does it even mean to have a good life? How can you enjoy now when you're always being told to look ahead. I can't look at calendars because they remind me of passing time which makes scheduling things hard. It's an unusual phobia. I've never met anyone else with it.

Not the vaccine, I meant from the pandemic itself. It was a stressful time for everyone and I imagine some getting worried that it might come back or have nightmares about it or something. I've said before I get a slight twinge of anxiety seeing a picture of a crowd of unmasked people even if that picture was taken before the pandemic! Maybe that's weird. I just feel that even after this thing is over the mental scars will take years to heal.

Related, but I remember saying to someone last year that I imagined myself having Covid "flashbacks" in the years to come. Similar to PTSD and wondered if others with bad anxiety might feel the same. I almost feel they are happening already.