Bella P

She has explained diet is important, and for the most part I’ve been doing great at it, I just hit some rough spots thanks to the situations my dad put me in. They’re making me afraid. I, again, also have to be careful with being too restrictive due to past struggles. She knows this as well. She also knows how bad my anxiety is and has tried to help me not be so fearful. I had a horrible specialist at one point who made PCOS out to be a death sentence to the point I began having psychosomatic diabetes symptoms and I panicked over food. I have noticed that she doesn’t like to over treat and is very minimalistic, though, when it comes to medicines. She said she wanted to wait for my blood test results to even touch medication. I get my blood drawn on the third. I’m just a huge mess. We also don’t really have much of a choice for doctors right now either way. Here in this house, in the middle of nowhere, this is the only doctor we can get to. When we were staying with our friend we couldn’t even find a general practitioner yet.

I know, but I have no choice, without it I’m constantly on my period. There are other factors to why my mental state is so bad as well, but I have heard birth control also can play a part. I hate it.

This happens to me sometimes when I get very upset, tension headaches are not fun at all.

Doctors have told me that all I need is BC because it’s, “not that bad.” I have a feeling that will change. I have to be careful with how I do my diet because I’m prone to being overly restrictive. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, I have completely cut out high fructose corn syrup and I have almost completely cut out refined carbs, though. There was a point when I was first diagnosed that I went too far with dietary restrictions out of fear and insecurity and my doctor was actually concerned. I lost too much weight too quickly and my good cholesterol went down. I’m just a mess. I try to be as PCOS friendly as possible without taking it too far. I eat a lot of foods I know are good for PCOS, too. That period of time where I couldn’t eat the best due to poor circumstances is still weighing on my mind, though, and today things have been tense so I didn’t feel like I should say no to what my dad made.

Hair can grow anywhere on the body, although it is less likely for it to be there, that doesn’t make it impossible. Anywhere a pore is, which is everywhere, a hair can pop out of. That is especially true if you are a hairy individual. I myself am one and have some where I really hate having them. I wouldn’t fret much, hair can be pesky little things 🙂

PCOS is what’s causing my turmoil right now. 1: I am on a pill to regulate my period, without it I never stop bleeding, and two days ago I broke through it. Again. It’s happened once before causing me to need my medicine changed. Leading onto my next point... 2: On the third I get my blood drawn to look at my blood sugar, insulin levels, testosterone levels, etc. Its to monitor how I’m doing and also to check and see if anything specific caused me to break through... I’m terrified something is going to be horribly wrong. My logical mind tells me this is unlikely, my past tests were very good and it’s unlikely for things to go so bad so quick, but I can’t chase the fear away. Due to things going on in my life, I went through a period of time where I couldn’t eat the healthiest, I’m scared it ruined me. Other symptoms have been popping up and or worsening, and now breaking through the pill a second time. My dad also decided tonight was a good night to make angel food cake. I ate a piece and now I regret it. What if that pushed everything into the danger zone? I’m in my room crying because I’m scared my tests will show I am prediabetic, diabetic, insulin resistant or worse. 3: I made a post before worrying about weight loss, well I gained a bit back. While this is good because I knew I lost too much, my brain immediately set off alarm sirens because weight gain and PCOS aren’t good a lot of the time. I’m scared of gaining and losing it. I’m just so tired and scared of everything. I can’t eat anything without worrying unless I know for sure it won’t hurt me, and I feel horrible in my own body because PCOS makes me feel disgusting for other reasons. I hate what it does. I could elaborate but we would be here for much too long. I just want to be happy and healthy, that’s all. I’m just so sick of this and I can’t tell my mom these things because she will say I am overreacting and to just, “get over it.” How do I get over a life long condition? Also, maybe I am overreacting, but I can’t stop it no matter how hard I try. I try very hard, too.

Thank you both for responding and being so kind. Luckily, it’s gone now, and there isn’t any more pain. It scared the hell out of me.

Blips of blood on paper are usually from, as you said wiping too hard, and hemorrhoids. The type of blood in stools that would be from cancer is black and tarry. Unmistakable. Colon cancer is highly unlikely at 38, but I understand your fear. Mucus in stool is also benign 9 times out of 10 and usually due to high stress, a virus, IBS or constipation. Another thing I have learned is pains on the left side are almost always indigestion, which unfortunately anxiety can cause. I do not believe you need a colonoscopy, especially not if colon cancer doesn’t run in your family, but if it would ease your mind I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. It would be unnecessary, but if it would ease your mind you could ask if you wish. It is your body and your health care. I assure you, though, you are okay. Anxiety can wreak havoc on your system.

I am on a pill to regulate my period, I have to be or else I don’t stop, and yesterday was the day before I start the sugar pills for my cycle. I’ve also been having some pre-period cramping. Today the lump seems to be not as defined, but it’s still sore, and my mom ended up feeling it when I wouldn’t calm down. She said it could also be a lymph node, and I have been fighting some sort of virus, because of the location. I don’t know. That and your comment does help a bit, though. I’m just so anxious about everything and then this happened.

I have no idea, but that’s a good idea I hadn’t thought of, thank you. I’m definitely going to look into it.

I think I found a slightly painful lump (I give it a pain scale of 5 out of 10, also really only hurts when I move my arm a lot) on the side of my breast sort of near my arm pit, so I told my mom. She pointed out that sometimes your period makes those pop up and they go away after, that made me feel a little better, but I’m still very anxious because PCOS is hell. As is health anxiety in general. I started feeling to try and see if I had the same thing on the other side or not and she snapped at me. “Quit touching it!” I tried explaining what I was doing and she just told me to stop again. I feel like crying. I know breast cancer at my age is rare (I’m 20) and your period can cause temporary lumps as well as breast tenderness but I’m scared. My mom snapping at me helped absolutely nothing 😞

I have to find another therapist. We are too far away from him, and we still will be if we go to my cousin’s house. I hope I can find another really good one. I also need a psychiatrist and to just need to get everything looked at. PCOS sucks. I’ll try to look into calling about disability, and everything with that. I hope this is where everything starts to finally improve. Thank you for being nice and taking the time to talk to me. I really appreciate it.

I did get response when I reposted this to a more active place, but thank you. It got bad again and I wasn’t active online, but we are doing our best to get to a good place. We might be going to live with my cousin in a week or so. It’s still nowhere near perfect, but I’m hoping this is where things start looking up.

I’m sorry for the late reply, things got extremely stressful and busy again. I’m currently in Pennsylvania, but my mom said in a week or so we may go live with my cousin. Also, do you have to be in the same state to get an appeal?

My dad is extremely manipulative and a good liar, too. He’s made us look completely insane in the past when we tried to get help before we just up and left while he was on a work trip.