@Jupitereyed that’s great, it’s similar to what I was thinking, the years of tension finally being relieved. And best of all you got over that fear and are now enjoying the visits. Did you ever feel neck soreness after and adjustment? That’s what freaks me out. Well it was my second adjustment yesterday, she asked if I had pain after the first adjustment, I said slightly but I forgot to mention a headache a I had after it. But see I don’t know if it is really from the adjustment or I’m tensing up expecting a stroke or dissection to happen that I am sore in the neck and back.
When my husband and I bought our first house it was a stressful process. We had some issues with the sellers and after 2 long months we finally go it but during that entire time I broke out with hives on my wrist and stomach and lower legs. So now when I get super overwhelmed I'll start getting them on my wrist.
I have to step back and write down what's going right in my lifeand do all the other things step by step. Helps cut down on the stress and worry.
Also ask for help.. like your husband's bday party.. maybe recruit a friend to help you plan and give you idea etc..hugs.
First and foremost, I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing as well as you can be given the circumstances.
My estranged father passed away last year after being taken off life support. I won’t get into the specific pathology of what put him into the hospital to begin with, as it was something innocuous that blew up and he ended up having two heart attacks, but just know had he taken better care of himself during his life and heeded the advice he was given by two Urgent Care facilties (he always was stubborn as hell), he would probably still be here.
Anyway, the night before he passed, after I had gotten home from visiting him the hospital (it was the first time I had seen him in 11 years), I woke up after two hours of sleep in a blind panic: I fell asleep on my left arm and it was VERY numb, and Wasihavingaheartattackohmygod?! I recognized that my father’s condition was setting off my HA, but does the HA care about logic? Not usually, no.
His death was the first very close death I had experienced and I handled it fine in some aspects but didn’t handle it so well in others. For instance, on one hand I understood and accepted logically and emotionally that death is a natural part of life and it’s unfortunately often ugly and cruel and indiscriminate. It doesn’t wait for us to reconcile with estanged parents or friends, it doesn’t care if we’ve said “I love you,” recently. It also doesn’t care how good or bad a person is. On another hand, I experienced my worst HA spike since 2012 and became very focused on my heart.
I think at this point.... the notion that sometimes health anxiety can be about anxieties we have about other issues we aren’t acknowledging forcing their way out of our psyches REALLY hit home. Soon I realized part of the reason my father’s death caused me a lot of health anxiety was because it was my first 1st degree connection with mortality. It’s one thing when a great grandparent you didn’t visit very often dies, but when someone you were closer to for some time in your generation or the generation just above or below dies, it makes many of us realize our own mortality for the first time. You can probably see how easily this could translate to upticks in HA.
In fact, I had done some reading and quite a few sources out there are saying we should replace the “Bargaining” grief stage with “Anxiety” when it comes to grieving a death and not someone who is dying. Many, many people experience anxiety when a death happens close to them, especially in close generations.
I’m sorry this post ended up being so long and expositional, but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone and many of us can sympathize to various degree with you. And I figured maybe that realization I had could possibly help you, too.
Please don’t feel guilty for feeling the way you feel. Anxiety in response to death is very common for a variety of reasons. You’re not being selfish: you’re going through a lot right now in trying to process this loss.
Hi! It sounds like you've got a lot going on and you're trying to think about it all at once! I find myself doing the same thing sometimes. When I have a lot going on or about to go on, my brain goes mental trying to fix three problems all at once while trying to plan for some upcoming event and manage my household, work and other commitments. I find writing it out helps. Because my brain will try to focus on so many things all at once, it helps to write down your thoughts because when you write them, you only focus on one at a time. Whether you write it out just to get your feelings to make some sort of sense or you write it out to make some sort of plan to deal with things, it doesn't matter. Just the act of writing helps to calm your mind down and focus on one thing at a time.
Might be worth a try🤔
Hello, sending big hugs your way. I really feel for you. Breakups are so hard and having anxiety on top of that will of course leave you feeling the worst. Give yourself time to get over this. Who knows, maybe with a cooling off period, things might get better.
In the meantime we'll be here if you need a chat.
Hi Gilly. I have been on this site for sometime. I just need someone to talk to about my anxiety and I like your way of helping others. Not accepting that all my symptoms are caused by anxiety. Feel like my doctors have misdiagnosed me. If you could reply to me please. Not feeling well at all. Thank you.
Hello Cutecat.......I believe I talked with you on another anxiety forum awhile back. How are you? I am exactly the same nothing has changed with me. I do have some relief but it never lasts too long. So sick of taking pills that dont work. I never want to go anywhere because I feel so awful!!!!! Hope you respond would love to hear from you.