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Found 2 results

  1. Hi all! I’m totally new to this site, but definitely not new to HA. I’ve been suffering for 11 years. I’m usually pretty good at managing it but occasionally I just get hit with a wave of anxiety that just knocks me down for weeks, sometimes even months at a time. I’m in nursing school and now that my midterms are done I have more time to focus on myself. In the last week alone I have managed to convince myself that I have ovarian cancer, bladder cancer, a kidney infection, a UTI, and now breast cancer. The other symptoms I was having are easy chalked up to a running injury I sustained on my hip a while back and stress, but I’ve always had this lump on my left breast. I exam my breasts weekly because I’m so paranoid but I feel like this thing has changed, I feel like it’s bigger! It’s still soft and moveable, I am about 4 days from starting my period so that could be the case, it’s a bit painful too but that could just be from my constant poking at it. I’m just starting to really second guess myself and I’m convincing myself that I don’t really know my own body. I just feel betrayed and confused. Normally I would go see my doctor but I moved 12 hours from home for school so I have no friends and family around either. I’m just feeling really doomed and upset about this, I’m hoping that someone has had a similar experience that can maybe help calm me down.
  2. So I’ve been back at university for a week now and it’s been very different. I do an acting degree which is possibly the most emotionally/physically diverse course you can think of. I am in my third year so they have turned up the heat. Last week I was in 9 hours everyday and was not even home in the evenings because I had assessment and social engagements. Lord almighty I was busy. Things slipped. I didn’t do my washing up, tidy my room, wash my clothes and I cried at the end of the second day back because I foresaw the next ten weeks as being as stressful as my first two days. I’m now in my second week back and the flow has already changed. Today I had a half day and tomorrow I have off. How amazing. This weekend I tidied my room and did all my washing and even took up crochet, a leisure activity I hope will help in my thinky thinky times I sometimes have that stop me sleeping. Ive done some really positive things despite my stress, including contacting my university council long service because I realise, even though I feel like I’m entering a good space right now, ignoring the bad moments that have happened will only suppress them. Even if I feel good, I need explanation for the bad times. Im also finding new dynamics in my relationships with people. I realise I won’t be able to see my boyfriend heeps this term because I have a full timetable but I’ve made it a positive, I normal have trouble sleeping without him because my brain starts wandering but I want to use these opportunities to train myself out of that. I’ve been spending quality time with my housemates, playing board games and having a drink which makes me feel secure in our home. I’ve been honest and sharing with my parents which makes me feel better about the fragile states I sometimes get in to. I do feel positive now and I’ll enjoy it, for as long as I can. I never plan to fall back into the hole but the next time I do, I hope I read back on this post and remember that good times can be had and I appreciated this moment in my life right now. Best health and happiness to you all, I’llbefineintheend x