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About cbhaga01

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  1. I have all those same things. Like, to a T. It's 1000% anxiety. When I get nervous or frustrated, it gets significantly worse. And then I become aware of it, which makes it ever worse still, and it's a shitty cycle that doesn't really break until everything else starts to calm down. And I worry about dementia too. I worry that I'm showing the early signs of something sinister. But my wife reassures me that no one else notices that kind of stuff, and EVERYONE has those sorts of issues. We just tend to be hyperaware. Trust me, you're fine.
  2. No clue, honestly. Everything I've read says the scope I had looks for issues with the bladder and urethra, but I can't recall seeing anything regarding the prostate. I'm going to assume they go in through the backdoor for that business 😳
  3. Glad to hear everyone else has had (relatively) pleasant experiences. @Leah1976, did they have a setup where you could see what was going on? My doc just had a scope he himself could see into. I was kinda bummed. I wanted to see my innards.
  4. I was blown away by how quickly it was over. When my doctor said he was pulling out, I asked him if we was sure he was done 🤓
  5. Okay, maybe it isn't that exciting, but at least it sounds fun. Also, warning: if you're squeamish about medical procedures, especially those involving sexual organs, take caution. I'm not looking for advice here. Instead, I'm posting this in hopes that some poor soul who may eventually come here and search for "cystoscopy" might see this and take some comfort in what I'm writing. I try my best not to Google when something doesn't feel right, but I have no qualms looking around on here. So, if you're reading this because you found out you have to get "scoped", let me put your mind at ease: it's not that bad. What is a cystoscopy? Cystoscopy (sis-TOS-kuh-pee) is a procedure that allows your doctor to examine the lining of your bladder and the tube that carries urine out of your body (urethra). A hollow tube (cystoscope) equipped with a lens is inserted into your urethra and slowly advanced into your bladder Why is cystoscopy performed? It is often used to find causes of bleeding or blockage, or any abnormalities of the bladder and its lining. In my case, I developed epididymitis last spring, which resulted in me having to do a few urine tests. All came back totally normal, aside from a tiny amount of blood in my urine (which was only detectable in the test; never visible to the naked eye). Because I'm in my thirties and the results came back positive every time, they urged me to have some testing done in order to rule out anything serious. How is cystoscopy performed? Cystoscopy is most often done as an outpatient procedure. Before the procedure you will empty your bladder. Then you will be placed on an exam table. A liquid or gel local anesthetic may be used on your urethra. The average cystoscopy takes about 5 to 10 minutes. The cystoscope is inserted through the urethra into the bladder. The cystoscope is a thin, lighted tube with lenses. Most often it is bendable, but some models are rigid. Water or saline is infused through the cystoscope into the bladder. As the fluid fills the bladder, the bladder wall is stretched so the urologist can see clearly. So, this is why I'm posting this: the fear of the procedure itself. Going into this, I was terrified. I was ready to go through something akin to medieval torture, despite everything I read online telling me it wasn't really all that bad and similar reassurances by the people at the urology office. Let's call it what it is: they stick a tube down your urethra. That's a one-way street, and the idea of something going in the out door there sounds AWFUL. Why wouldn't it? The prep was easy enough: they made me use the bathroom, then change into a gown (I got to keep my shirt and socks on). They then covered everything down there up, cleaned it, put that weird yellow dye stuff on there, and then numbed me. Numbing consisted of the nurse shooting a syringe of lidocaine down into the urethra. I would almost argue that this was the worst part of the whole thing: I still have full sensation and the lidocaine was cooooooold. But even that wasn't just outright terrible. More like an, "Ouch, that sucks" kinda thing. Then they let the numbing agent do its thing and left me to hang out alone for a few minutes. The urologist then came in and revealed what reminded me WAY too much of the tripods from War of the Worlds. He told me, "This is going to be over way quicker than you realize", and then he started. Going in wasn't all that bad. It wasn't really painful, just uncomfortable, like my body was saying, "Hey, that's not supposed to be in there." When he got to the prostate (which he mentioned beforehand was the worst part), he told me to take a huge breath and let it out; this allowed those muscles to relax so the scope can get into the bladder. There was a slight pinch, but nothing bad whatsoever. And it was in! Now, I will say this: they're not lying when they say you feel like you have to take the worst piss of your life. They're blowing saline solution into your bladder, which causes it to feel like you chugged a two-liter of soda right before walking into a three-hour night class. The nurse said people sometimes require a bedpan once they're finished, because they simply cannot make it to the bathroom. Fortunately, that wasn't the case for me at all. But anyways, the doctor looked around, did his thing, and then pulled it out. I seriously doubt it took more than two minutes. He left, the nurse left, I put my clothes back on, went to the bathroom again, and that was it. No restrictions, no follow-ups, nothing besides popping a single antibiotic (which, if you're worried about those messing with your anxiety, the one they gave me didn't do squat). The "tip" was sore for most of the day (I'm a boy, if you couldn't tell from the moustached avatar), and the first few times I went to the bathroom afterwards stung quite a bit, but by the next morning, I'd forgot anything had even happened. And that's it! If you're reading this and you have a scope coming up, trust me, it ain't that bad. Remember: big breath when they tell you, and try your best to relax. You're going to be fine.
  6. Good! Glad to hear it helps. And yeah, therapy is the best.
  7. It's not MS. The MS scare is a VERY real thing among anxiety sufferers (I had mine back in 2013; I was convinced), as their physical symptoms are incredibly similar. You're gonna be fine, I promise.
  8. Hi Bella! Sorry to hear what you're dealing with. Rest easy, though: every single thing you're feeling is 110% caused by your anxiety. I've dealt with this shit for over a decade now, and if I had a dollar for everyone odd twitch, spasm, ache, pain, and weird sensation that I believed was indicative of some sort of catastrophic illness, I could quit my job and move to a beach house in Key West. The brain is an extremely powerful entity. I mean, it is us. It controls every single aspect of our being. So, when the brain is overloaded with chemicals that scream "OH MY GOD, WHAT", it stands to reason that it's going to react in strange ways. The central nervous system, in particular, is prone to the effects of an overworked brain. That's what causes the annoying things you're feeling. ALS and MS are also disorders of the CNS, which is why the systems of an anxious mind tend to mimic those of these diseases. It is well, WELL documented that those two diseases are a common concern for people with anxiety. Spend some time browsing this forum. You'll see it. Start trying to tell yourself that this is all in your head, because it really is. Once you start believing that, all this will pass.
  9. Hey Rainbow! I hate to hear that you're dealing with that. I never dealt with the paralysis, but the weird buzzing and whatnot were terrible. Fortunately, though, it all went away as soon as I got my anxiety under control. I started seeing my therapist again, got my sleep hygiene in check, and cut out anything that could interfere with sleeping (goodbye, venti iced coffee), and I was right as rain. I still feel that stuff to some extent if I've had a particularly bad day, but as soon as it happens, I start reassuring myself that it's just anxiety and it pretty much goes away. One bit of advice: if you start feeling that crap, get a weighted blanket. If you don't have one, get a bunch of heavy blankets and throw them on top of your normal bedding. That extra weight will ground you, relieving some of that anxiety and help you get to sleep. Don't worry. You'll get past this.
  10. You're having an attack. And our brains can go to some weird places when that happens. This will pass, like it always does. And get some sleep!
  11. People sweat from anxiety. Also, people just sweat, man. It could be your nerves, or it could be your environment (I'm having to get used to wearing sweaters again; ergo, sweating). You're fine ?
  12. Bobnatt nailed it. You're totally having hypogogic hallucinations. Enjoy them! They're actually pretty cool if you embrace them for what they are. There's actually a lot of literature about what happens in that state of sleep; it's when our brain tries to solve problems on a subconscious level.
  13. Oh, the ol' ALS scare. That's a pretty common one among us with health anxiety. I went through mine about 5 years ago, then another, smaller period again in early 2015. I dealt with most of the same things you mentioned: weakness, clumsiness, twitching, odd sensations. Hell, I still have them today. But, I don't have ALS. In fact, my last visit to the doctor resulted in a nearly clean bill of health, aside from a bit too much weight and high cholesterol (genetic; I don't take the blame for that one). Wrapping my head around the possibility that I did not have an extremely rare disease and that this might just be anxiety after all was what got me past it. You need to realize that the human brain is an incredibly powerful thing. Every thought, feeling, and sensation we experience comes from the brain's interpretation. So, doesn't it stand to reason that it can really mess with us in crazy ways when its chemistry is thrown off? That's what happens with chronic anxiety; the brain gets bombarded with bad shit, it gets worn down, and your body starts to respond in kind, particularly with anything that involves with CNS. Every single thing you're feeling is just your anxiety manifesting itself physically thanks to bad signals from your brain. Wanna know the good thing about that? When the anxiety calms down, so does everything else. You have got to start telling yourself that. It's not easy, believe me, but it's the only way to get better. One more thing: NervUs gave you a fantastic piece of advice, which is to be realistic with yourself. My therapist told me the same thing years ago, which helped tremendously. If you do have ALS (which you don't), how would you deal with it? Would you really just crawl into a hole and wait for death? Doubt it. You're gonna keep kickin' ass.
  14. I was in a similar situation a little over a month ago. My sleep was absolute garbage for the better part of a week after having a reaction to Advil PM (I'm thinking it was some form of sleep paralysis). I didn't get good sleep for days. I was a wreck, and I was afraid I was dealing with the same thing: something had short-circuited in my brain and that was my new reality. It was anxiety. 100%. I'm fine now. So, I'm going to tell you what you need to hear and what you need to do. And I apologize for being so blunt, but sometimes we need tough love. You are fine. You don't have some 1 in a 1,000,000,000 disease. You're not experiencing anything that anyone here hasn't experienced before. But, for the love of god, dude, go see a fucking doctor and put your mind at ease.
  15. This might be the one that finally gets me sent to the looney bin. Today, I'm sitting at work, and all of a sudden, I just say to myself, "Man, why is everything so yellow?" And now, everything appears to have a yellow tint. My computer screen, rooms around my building, trees & grass outside. Despite the fact that I work in a building littered with fluorescent bulbs and it's super sunny outside. Someone tell me I'm being weird. Or, if this is just something my anxiety has latched onto, I'll take that as well. Or if someone else has dealt with this, that'd be even more helpful.