MotherOfMaya

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Everything posted by MotherOfMaya

  1. I am now in this same situation! On Wednesday/Thursday of last week I started to notice my sense of smell and taste diminishing. I just got over a crazy cold so thought maybe I was just getting a sinus infection and such. Over the next few days my smell continued to go and my sinus headache got worse. Today I went to urgent care to see about an antibiotic. The PA thought I definitely had a sinus infection but of course they tested me for Covid. I was actually shocked when it came back positive. I called my boss to tell her and she told me about someone she knew who died at 42 (I just turned 39). I'm freaking out with anxiety now, taking my pulse-ox every 20 minutes. I believe I am on day 4-5 of this. When should I be in the clear as far as getting severe symptoms if I was going to get them?
  2. Yes, those are palpitations and can be completely related to anxiety and stress. I have had them on and off for many, many years. If they keep happening it's probably worth discussing with your doctor, but if it's a once-in-a-while thing I would not really worry, especially if it co-occurs during a high anxiety cycle.
  3. Ugh, my son has had swollen nodes on the back of his head for a week now and I ran him to urgent care the other day after he had a pretty high fever of 102.7. I always think the worst and I am trying to work on that but it's so not easy when it comes to kids. Where is your son's lymph node and how old is he? Thanks so much for posting...it's nice knowing you're not alone.
  4. Hey all, I am very curious to know how those of you with children deal anxiety over their health when you are in a high anxiety phase. I am trying so hard not to impose my health anxiety onto my children but I am not doing such a good job. I don't want to constantly run to the doctor with my kids as I do not want to be seen as insane by my kid's doctors. Any advice for me? Thanks in advance!
  5. Yes, but not because of "variants" but because no vaccine is 100 percent effective.
  6. Not all people get cancer but all people do die from something, hearts giving out, etc. I have never in my life heard of gallstones causing cancer and I am definitely not going to Google that!
  7. First of all, I hate, hate, HATE, that I am writing on here with yet another worry. I know it is a true sign of anxiety when you jump from disease to disease but right now I am freaking out. ANY advice/comforting words would be appreciated. A solid year ago I woke up one morning and noticed that I had bulging on the outside of my left upper eyelid. I soon realized that there was a moveable lump under there that I could literally push into the eye socket and then it would pop back out. My cousin works for an ophthalmology office and I sent her a picture and she asked a doctor, who said it did not look emergent and it could wait until after the pandemic. It doesn't cause me any other symptoms and so I put it into the back of my mind until this past few weeks when I have been worrying bout everything else and remembered about this. I am on a mission to take care of all of the crap that I have been putting off since having kids so I made an eye appointment and figured I would deal with this finally. Well I soooo stupidly Googled and found terrible things. I really deep down think what is going on is a prolapsed lacrimal gland but all these terrible things about tumors come up, etc. According to the Google, lacrimal gland tumors have an incidence of 1 out of a million in the USA and it could be caused by sooooo many other things but now I am TWEAKING OUT. If I had cancer, even if it were a slow growing one, would I have other symptoms by now? Would it still be mobile? Would it have grown even a little? Thanks so much everyone.....
  8. I also had separation anxiety as a child. I distinctly remember my mother, who was an RN, leaving to do the overnight shift and I would have a meltdown. I cannot quite remember how old I was at the time but it was intense and neither my mom nor dad knew how to help me. By chance, has your son been doing school remotely and now has to return to the school for in-person learning? I think a lot of kids are having difficulty with this transition.
  9. I'm happy to report that my PCP spoke to the radiologist who said a biopsy is NOT warranted. She said watch the size and if it gets bigger another ultrasound could be in order. It's already shrunk since I saw her so I am trying my best to move on until the next freak out! J/K (hopefully).
  10. So true! It's allergy season where I am and my ears have been popping like mad!
  11. Oh man, this worry might be the worst of all health worries, right? So many of us have been there and so many of us are still here kickin' it. I have had this fear more than one time. I had months of body-wide twitching during my first walk down that road and I still have some to this day (9 or so years later). Something that has always helped me is this site and AboutBFS. There are thousands of people just like you who twitch because of anxiety or perhaps a vitamin deficiency or electrolyte deficiency or something that is very much not ALS. It feels so hypocritical to be telling you not to worry when I am experiencing my own, probably exaggerated symptoms, but I love that we are here to support one another. I am reading a book right now which was recommended by my therapist called The Worry Trick: How Your Brain Tricks You into Expecting the Worst and What You Can Do About It by David Carbonell, PhD. I cannot say if it has helped me miraculously as I am still in the beginning of the book but I am hopeful it will help me work on a better relationship with the pervasive worry that I experience on a daily basis. It's worth a try, eh? You're okay, I'm okay, we're all okay!
  12. Yeah, so I actually called yesterday and requested a telehealth visit with her. Essentially she said she wanted it "just to be safe." I questioned her regarding the size and she agreed that it's tiny. They did the ultrasound on both my occipital region and cervical and the ultrasound did say I have a reactive looking node in the cervical region, but said not suspicious. She was harping on the fact that it did not specify "not suspicious" regarding the occipital node. I asked her if it would usually say if it WAS suspicious and she said yes. I also pointed out that both area's nodes used the same terminology, pointing to benign. She said she would call the radiologist and ask so I left it at that. Unless the radiologist comes back with something unexpected, I am going to decline the biopsy. I freaked out all weekend but have since calmed down a bit. Thank you so much to everyone for their contributions. This place is invaluable when you are on the brink of sheer panic!
  13. First of all, I would tell you not to Google, but I am so fricken guilty of that it's not even funny. You know Googling is bad! I am sure you are just thinking about your eating/chewing/swallowing and when you're hyper focused on something you tend to slip up. I was having a scare a while back and kept inhaling food and water and when my anxiety calmed down, and i stopped thinking about it, it stopped happening. When we focus on our bodily functions that we usually don't think about it, it becomes not automatic anymore. I am sure you're okay!
  14. So she responded that she suggests I have the biopsy. I asked to do a telehealth visit so that we can discuss it further and she said yes, it'll be easier if we can see each other face to face. I'm very concerned. I do not know how I am going to make it through the weekend honestly.
  15. Yes, diarrhea can hang on for a longggg time after a bug! Pre/pro-biotics are a must have after a bug or during anti-biotics because your good bacteria gets all jacked up. Kefir is a really good option or a good supplement or pill. Glad you're feeling better!
  16. Hi @Bobnnat Thank you so very much for your reply! It really helped me get through last night. I had my ultrasound this morning and thought it would take days to get the results but I already have them. Here is what it says:There is a 4 x 4 x 3 mm ovoid shaped, hypoechoic lymph node with fatty echogenic hilum at the area of concern in the left occipital region subcutaneous regions as indicated by the patient.My doctor says that there was a small node and that they did not say it was suspicious. Then she asked ME if I wanted a biopsy. Don't you think that should be her decision? I am not sure what to do or where to go at this point. I am seriously freaking out.
  17. Are you on an SSRI Or SNRI? If so, did you skip a dose?
  18. I think I am seriously losing my mind.... Over the last week I have been sinking deeper and deeper into an HA spiral. A month or so ago I was convinced I had ALS.....then I moved on and started feeling better. Two weeks ago I started really worrying about anal cancer as I have had chronic fissures and tags and hemorrhoids for FOREVER and they started bothering me again. Then I was able to sort of talk myself out of that. Then I had a physical and my doctor noticed I had a swollen node in my neck. I tried to tell her I thought it was from a cyst or something I had scratched behind my ear but she referred me for an ultrasound anyway. I asked her what she was worried about and said nothing but then why would she refer me? I'm now freaking out about lymphoma or some other cancer that has spread. Last night I found some bumps at the ends of my muscles on the insides of my elbows in the parts closest to my bodies and it's bigger in my left arm. I am now worrying that this is a lymph node. The worst part is that I KNOW that I'm losing my sh*t but it doesn't stop me from worrying and worrying obsessively and poking and prodding myself to the point of soreness. I have been reading this site and NoMorePanic like it's my job and my therapist recommended a book to me which I started but nothing is sinking in at the moment. Can anyone relate to knowing rationally everything is probably alright but freaking anyway? I have two little kids and I am having some crazy death phobia right now. All I want to do is cry!
  19. I think I am seriously losing my mind.... Over the last week I have been sinking deeper and deeper into an HA spiral. A month or so ago I was convinced I had ALS.....then I moved on and started feeling better. Two weeks ago I started really worrying about anal cancer as I have had chronic fissures and tags and hemorrhoids for FOREVER and they started bothering me again. Then I was able to sort of talk myself out of that. Then I had a physical and my doctor noticed I had a swollen node in my neck. I tried to tell her I thought it was from a cyst or something I had scratched behind my ear but she referred me for an ultrasound anyway. I asked her what she was worried about and said nothing but then why would she refer me? I'm now freaking out about lymphoma or some other cancer that has spread. Last night I found some bumps at the ends of my muscles on the insides of my elbows in the parts closest to my bodies and it's bigger in my left arm. I am now worrying that this is a lymph node. The worst part is that I KNOW that I'm losing my sh*t but it doesn't stop me from worrying and worrying obsessively and poking and prodding myself to the point of soreness. I have been reading this site and NoMorePanic like it's my job and my therapist recommended a book to me which I started but nothing is sinking in at the moment. Can anyone relate to knowing rationally everything is probably alright but freaking anyway? I have two little kids and I am having some crazy death phobia right now. All I want to do is cry!
  20. That's great news! You must be so relieved!
  21. I agree it's probably a ganglion. Fun fact: Theyused to call them Bible cysts because they would whack them with a heavy book to get them to rupture. 😄
  22. Hi everyone.... I am going through a particularly trying time in my life and I cannot help but think that my anxiety surrounding everything is being subconsciously diverted into health anxiety...but I digress... I had to begrudgingly make an appointment for a physical so that I could have my refills for my Effexor that I take for anxiety. The appointment was today. Last night I noticed that I had a tender bump next to my spine below my hairline and I shrugged it off as a swollen lymph node, probably because I scratched myself behind my ear or something.... This morning I woke up and while showering I noticed that my shoulder/neck area was slightly puffier on one side than the other...the same side that I have the swollen lymph node. I went to the doctor and showed her the lymph node and she said she wants to get an ultrasound of it. She assured me she is not worried but she likes to get ultrasounds on lymph nodes that aren't under the jaw unless there is a very obvious reason for it being swollen. She then felt where I thought it was puffy and she did not feel anything. I am soooo terrified I have lymphoma or something! Why would she order a test if she is not concerned. This seems contradictory to me. I feel like I cannot catch a break from this health anxiety and it's driving me absolutely crazy. I was here a few weeks ago thinking I had ALS, then I was worried about ovarian cancer...and now this.... I have been poking at myself all day and logging in repeatedly to check my Patient Portal account to see if my blood work has been posted. Someone please talk me off this ledge! Any advice or comforting thoughts would be so appreciated!
  23. I have also had HA for the better part of my life. I am 38 now and I think my first go-round with health anxiety was when I was about 10 years old. I have had other anxieties as well though, like being afraid of amputees and ufos as a child. The last straw for me was when I was convinced I had diabetes due to ridges in my fingernails....I finally gave in and went on Zoloft, an SSRI and it helped me so very much I was so mad at myself for not doing it earlier. There was a stigma that I carried with me for so long that prevented me from even admitting to my PCP that I had severe anxiety but I was so glad I finally did it. I have been on meds now for close to ten years and it was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I do still have flare-ups of health anxiety that even focuses on my children at times, but it happens when I have a lot of other external stressors going on. I have been in an HA spiral for the last few months but I have a lot of huge, life-changing things going on and I think that it's an unconscious way for my anxiety to have a singular focus. I have been in therapy on and off for years but funny enough, I rarely talk about my HA but I find that it helps me weed through all the other BS in my life and therefore helps the HA. I also try to watch funny, engaging television, get outside with my kids, drink wine on occasion, and talk to my friends. I also have a stupid Paint by Number app on my phone which provides mindless distraction a lot of the time!
  24. I have a chronic anal fissure, I THINK caused by over-wiping over the years and I pretty frequently have blood on the TP or on my BM. I also believe after having babies I have a hemorrhoid that acts up here and there. I had that checked out by a doctor and this was her conclusion. The things we talk about when we have HA amirite?? Anyway, I think red pooh would be a food thing unless it is the outside of the pooh and then I think about the above mentioned situations. If you have blood coming from higher up in your digestive tract it tends to be black-ish by the time it exits your body. You could always ask your doctor for a fecal occult test if you're that worried but to me it sounds like food.
  25. Maybe I am thick but what is the worry with different colored BMs? We eat food and drink liquids throughout the day and they pass through our intestines at different times and then gather at the end waiting to be expelled...so you would think things would vary. This common sense is rich coming from someone who has definitely analyzed BMs before, haha, but the different colors does not worry me at all (our minds are interesting, aren't they?) I have a chronic anal fissure so I do not worry AT ALL about blood on my stool or toilet paper anymore, but I definitely have in the past. If you have had testing by your doctor and have had nothing found you really do need to try and believe them but I know from experience how hard that is! Are there any specific coping skills that you use to get your mind off of these things?