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Hi All - Just signed up on here today. Never done anything like this before, but figured, what do I have to lose? I've been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks since I was 15, so for 15 years now. At the first sign of anxiety and panic, I was put on Lexapro by my primary and led a wonderful fulfilling life up until March 2013. One day, had a panic attack unlike one I had never experienced, out of the blue and since that day... life has been a daily nightmare. Not to sound dramatic, but there is no better way to describe it. I've had to go on disability from my job, which I loved and will likely not be welcome back but I guess thats the least of my worries. I guess I'm beginning to feel like, this is what life will be like. I've been on so many medications since March 2013, all of which gave me bad side effects and/or would work for a few months and then stop (?). I have not found a way to get control of my anxiety/panic attacks. I see a psychiatrist once a month and a psychotherapist once a week who specializes in EMDR. Just seems like nothing is working. I've been on my current "cocktail" of meds since June and havent seen any improvement. I'm afraid to drive, or leave the house. Afraid to sit still, afraid to move, afraid to be alone... i try to push myself and take a trip to the bank or dunkin donuts (for decaf, caffeine just makes it worse), but that usually leaves me in tears and curled up in a ball. I'm having attacks so frequently that everything has become a trigger, even eating at times. My family, who has been so helpful and supportive, are beginning to get very tired and fed up, in a sense, with all of this, as am I. I guess I just dont understand how this was so under control for so many years, and then so suddenly became a paralyzing disorder and one that i cant seem to crawl away from. Am I over-medicated? Am I not trying hard enough? Am I being too hard on myself? I dont expect to get better over night, or even get 100% better, but some improvement would be nice. Has anyone ever experienced something similar? One big awful attack that has left them in a state of constant anxiety and panic? Have you found any techniques or things that help make it better? I need help Thank you for reading this...

Good Day, I have joined this group in hopes of finding help for my 63 year old wife Diane who is disabled with Major Depressive Disorder for the fourth time in the past 10 years. Ordinarily she has been a healthy, loving, productive woman who loves and is loved by her family and many friends. These bouts ususally last an average of 11 months. She doesn't believe she can survive this latest bout as she is is extreme torment every second of the day. In the past, we have tried every psychotropic, homeopathic, and other types of therapies on the market for her condition and unfortunately have had little or no success. The illness just seems to run its course and then a "switch turns on" and she is able to eat again and her misery slowly goes away. I have been looking at trying Ketamine therapy to give her at least some short term relief. Does anyone have experience and insight they can share about this possible therapy....or any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and hoping for health for all participants. JonDRapp

Jhon is professional health adviser and passionate writer who write article particularly on health niche. Jhon associated with top medicinal institute in New York .

Hey Guys, Hoping you can help... Basically some of you may know already that I am making a book for teens as part of my final project at University. It is a story about a girl who is suffering with depression and through acceptance learns to understand depression and therefore learns steps towards recovery. As part of my research I was hoping to get some peoples perspectives and experiences who suffer with depression or have suffered before. I was wondering if anyone would want to help me out? All it would require is a few lines of how depression can feel, what its like, things you struggle to do maybe and how it effects your life. It does not have to be in depth, can just be a view or a summary of how depression feels. Its just to show Iv gained a wide perspective in the matter and see how other people view 'Depression'. I would be much appreciative of anyone wanting to share there thoughts with me. It will be entered in my research book but you can remain anonymous of course, I do not need to write your name or age, unless you felt comfortable with it. If anyone could let me know, Ill leave my email here too, so it remains personal of course. If it would be ok I may also like to ask you a few questions but that can also be done by email as well. One of the things I am curious of is if people feel judged? if you feel there is support out there? As my main aim of the book is to raise awareness. The book title I am currently working on is going to be named 'JUDGE ME NOT, Lucy's Story' as I do feel people still feel judged about suffering with this illness. My email is--- fosterbecca5@gmail.com Thanks Becca

Possible Trigger Warnings for Trichotillomania!! Cutting!! And Abuse mentioned: The name is Littlestbit, or Lil Bit, Bit, etc etc. I'm hoping hitting the web will help me manage my anxieties and hair pulling issues. I've been pulling since I was a little girl, and even had therapy sessions as a little one for a few weeks. For about 6 years I was free of the pulling episodes, I would occasionally pull out my hair, but I think subconsciously I didn't pull because I kept my hair in a near buzz cut. And dyed it about every three weeks, cutting it about every 4 weeks. Over the past year my life went from being homeless, jobless and ending medical bill dodging- to finding the first man in my life (let's call him Jim), a career and absolution with my family. Before Jim I bounced from woman to woman, fresh off a G.E.D and skidding from one menial job to another. The beginning of April last year I managed a certification in medical assisting, while going through a very abusive and toxic relationship with a woman who I would've given my everything for (and I did in the end). Jim snuck into my life a few weeks after my break-up and wormed his way into my life. At first the emotional dependency was terrifying. I couldn't let him know I had explosive panic attacks, that I'd pull my hair out in fist fulls sometimes. That I had no control over my paranoia and emotions at times. The months have flown by and I have let slip at times I can control, he now knows of my paranoia, my smaller anxieties and that in the past that I used to cut to cope with stresses. Lately my family and now Jim, have been finding little piles of hair in the carpet. I had no idea I was pulling again. The scariest thing for me? I've spent this past year purposefully growing my hair out, healthy and strong- all representing how I have grown this past year. I don't want to cut my hair off again! It's killing me slowly- I catch myself twinning my hair in between my fingers, that small bit in my brain screaming to pop it out. One by one. I start school in June and I've had a few meetings with my GP about anxiety meds, possibly starting on some medication to control my ADHD and having my insurance cover monthly therapy sessions. Im terrified that now I am pulling again I'll be bald by fall. What can I do?

I haven't felt too good today, started with some anxiety but later progressed to a deep depression. I've spent most of the day with horrible thoughts of harming myself. I've tried distracting myself with other things but it seems like the thoughts won't stop. I just wish this would all stop, I hate feeling this way and always entertain the thought of harming myself since it seems like the only way out sometimes. I want to be better

...."Where to start" Certain things that have happened recently ,have made me want to share my journey so far with you all and I hope you understand. So.. I was born on the 24th of May 1994 weighing a very tiny 1.5lb.. so I guess i didn't want to give up just then! I have two Loving, caring and supportive parents who are the nicest people anyone could ever meet. So as I grew up I'd like to think that they brought me up to be a respectful, kind and caring person. which sometimes I highly doubt, but I'll come to that later. So I was diagnosed from a fairly young age with NLD (Non Verbal Learning Disorder) I learn better by practical ways of teaching.. rather than reading text books. also I sometimes can't get everything down that I want to say that's in my brain to make sense.. .. so I apologize if some of this "Story" lacks structure or sense! As a kid I was always very very impulsive and hyperactive and had a wild creative imagination and it never really caused any problems up until I was about 12. When I was 12 I moved from primary school too my first secondary state school. Before the move my Primary school was a local Country Village school.. with a maximum capacity of (50) people! so I guess my hyper episodes and franticness could of been checked up on. So it was a big shock for me when I first arrived to the secondary school that had around 1200 students. So being premature at birth I have always been small, and as I was growing up no one really noticed it..and I didn't care about it.. until I started to get Unwanted attention from the local school jokers/bully type characters. The first few weeks at the new school I managed to get past them..without any trouble but that quickly changed.. being the smallest in my class I didn't really have the ability to defend myself.. so situations started to happen where Some days they'd try and put me in a locker or Bag and sometimes the bin. So after A few weeks of that happening, I started to lose myself as a person. to stop getting teased or put in a bin I decided to go with the " If you can't beat them, join them" way of things. So I almost created this completely different "George" to fit in..(But mine was extreme) My behavior started to get worse, I started to get into a lot of trouble at the school. I became constantly angry, and I hate to admit it but I became one of the "Bully's/Jokers". I felt like I had a sense of belonging. and this impulse was the hardest one to control.. The feeling of being liked, or to be someone different to fit in. Anyway after a year of being at that school, My parents moved me realizing if I stayed I was heading down a dangerous route. They moved me to a private school that was a lot smaller. and at first I felt alienated I hated everyone there and the concept of "Posh school".. So I'd been at the school roughly 6 Months and I had made friends but for all the wrong reasons.. I was known as "Nutter George" "Crazy George" anything to get that attention and feeling of safety and protection I'd do it.. whether it was to break something or general disrupt the classes I'd do it. It was towards the end of my first year that a friend came to me.. and said "Oi mate, there auditioning for this school play you should do it mate and take the piss".." My typical response as a idiot would say was "No way, Drama is for gay-boys.." eventually he dragged me to the audition room and I did an Audition.. this strange feeling came over me.. I WAS NERVOUS!.. Looking back on it now.. it must of been a good thing.... (This is only Half of what my Story) but my computer keeps messing up.. but I hope you guys enjoy the read. sorry for my bad grammar and punctuation... I'll do the rest ASAP.

I have had anxiety/panic for more than 30 years. I have tried every anti-depressant I think they make and some have helped and others not so much. Right now I am only taking Lorazapam and Deplin and they are not helping much at all. My anxiety manifest as burning fire in my stomach and then I get severe hot flushes all over my body. My heart pounds and skips around and I feel like I am just a hair away from dying. Sometimes I get the shakes on the inside of my body that last for 15-20 minutes. When I had my first panic attack at 17 my symptoms were very different. Then I would just suddenly have this impending doom feeling and felt like I was dying. My heart pounding and sweating profusely, I did not know what was going on. I grew up in a small town so no one really knew what to do with me and my "symptoms". Just feeling sad right now and sort of lost.

Hi I just came across this forum searching the internet for possible answers to my problem. So maybe somone here can relate or help. I will start with a little about me. I am a 37yo male, overweight and take meds for high blood pressure. I have been out of work for somtime because I just feel like im being judge as soon as I walk into a place to apply. I have quit so many jobs because im scared to learn new things to do the job afraid of lookin like a idiot in the process. My wife left me because I smothered her too much because of my own low self esteem i believed she was doing me wrong everytime she was away. I wanna start living and need to do it NOW. In my opinion i have always suffered from anxiety to some degree with being uneasy in public places not really wanting to interact with anybody including family and friends. I also believe I am suffering from depression and have been for awhile now. I have not seen anyone for anxiety or depression but have a appointment for Monday to do so. OK so now the present issue!!! About 2 weeks ago for no reason at all that i can think of I was layin on the couch watching tv and somthing felt wrong in my chest and I jumped up scared. After a little bit I didnt feel any better so I went to ER and they did blood work and EKG and all was fine. The next day I had heaviness in my chest and a little discomfort so again I waited. I ended up goin back to the ER where they did again blood work, EKG and chest XRAY but decided to keep me overnight and do a stress test in the moring. The stress test was equivocal with a slight depression during calm down phase of the test. But again they released me cause they said I was fine and to just follow up with my PCP. I lasted another day and was back in another ER that sent me to PITTSBURGH to a bigger hospital that I spent another night there. They did another stress test but this time with a NUCLEAR imaging dye and took pictures. The stress test found that slight depression in the calm down phase so that was EQUIVOCAL result again BUT the NUCLEAR imaging pictures were all normal. The 4 doctors I got to see said I was in no danger or heart trouble right now and have no idea what could be causing these chest issues. I was in one other ER since then with the same outcome. All that happened in a week. After the last visit I had 3-4 good days until yesterday it came back. Heavy chest, tingling in my hands and just over all dread of somthing really wrong. My appetite is almost NONE. I somtimes have cold chills then other times I feel warm. I start sweating badly for no reason. Last night I could not go to sleep because of it and this weird thing started happening.... Every time I would dose off I would awake to me takin a deep breathe. It happened a few times before I actually fell asleep. That was about 1am... At 530AM I woke up feeling OK but my right arm felt like to was asleep and like jello. I woke this morning with no heavy chest but just a little sore feeling like I was working out the night before or somthing. I am holding off going to another ER in fear of looking like a idiot when they dont find nothing wrong. HELP ME if you can understand whats goin on with me??? I am in the process of getting insurance so my options are limited. I am sooooo scared that they missed somtihing!!!

Hi. I'm jemray. I've suffered from anxiety my entire life. It's mostly a social thing. I get panic attacks (almost always) in uncontrolled group converstaions, especially when things get loud. I am very self-cousious. I hardly ever approach poeple to start conversations, and sometimes I don't even realize how anxious I am. I am in university, although I have not made many friends as I tend to keep to myself so I can avoid situations that cause anxiety. This practice, surprisingly enough, is quite conducive to depression. I also get panic attacks for seemingly no reason at all, and I have since I was a child. This is different from that panic I get in social situations which makes it difficult for me to breathe, impossible for me to think, gives me the trembles and heart palpitations and generally makes things awkward all around. This kind of panic sometimes comes on suddenly and is an intense feeling of dread that, once I'm in it completely, can be difficult to shake. I have been treated badly in the past, so I have difficulty opening up to people. It takes me a great deal of time to warm up to people, and I always worry about what they are thinking about me. This does nothing to lessen my anxiety. These days, I can make a great impression if talking to a person one-to-one, but rarely do well in group situations. In high school, I had panic attacks on a daily basis, barely made it through some days, found any excuse to skip class or school gatherings, did not socialize with anyone, and almost dropped out. So high school was a mess of pain, loneliness, and depression, which was lovely. University was not awesome, but was much better. Or is. Becuase I am still in university, for the next couple of months at least. I think something that was really helpful in getting me out of my shell was the program that I am in now; it requires a lot of talking to strangers, which I am now much better at. So I think that social anxiety can be improved, even though it is painful and stressful and seems impossible at times. I have never been on medication to treat anxiety, and have not had any therapy. I have recently started to infrequently see a counsellor which was somewhat beneficial. At the very least, it gives me someone to talk about my anxiety to, as I have no one in my life that I can talk these things over with. One positive thing that has come of my horrible experiences in high school was that I learned that life can get better. When you are going through a crisis--especially when you have not experienced anything similar before, and you know no one else who is going through a similar situation, and you have absolutely no one to talk to about your feelings--you may not know that life can get better. You tend to catastrohpize everything, which makes rational sense becuase your whole world is in pieces and you have lost all control. But no matter how bad you think your life is, and no matter how much it seems like you have no future, you should keep hanging on to whatever little piece of hope you have left, because life does, eventually (and sometimes really slowly) get better. I joined this forum becuase I had an awful day today, and I really need to let it out of my system. But when I think about where I was three years ago, and where I am today, I realize that all I need is a little more exposure to the situations that flood me with anxiety, and I will get better, and anxiety will have to loosen its grip on me. (Please God, let this be true). Anyways. That's all I have to say about me.

Hello Everyone, I just registered on this website as I had been doing a google search using terms like "anxiety", "relieving stress", "getting rid of palpitation"...you get the drift. I have been suffering from periods of tingling sensation and weakness in the left side of my body, on and off for quite some time now and on going to the doctor, I was told that my nerves were weaker. My mum has the same problem. It normally helps after a 15 day dose of vitamins. But for the past 2-3 weeks, this has increased. I cannot sleep. The thought of going to work leads to my heart fluttering like crazy, a slight feeling of loss of balance, heavy eyes, heaviness and tingling sensation in the left side of my body and face. When I am not feeling this, I feel extremely and uncontrollably angry. I am like this flammable person for whom one word is sufficient to feel under confident. I think practically and decide to not be affected by negative feelings, but this simply doesn't reflect in practice. I am at a point where I hate my job, but leaving it is not an option. I am only 26 and have hardly 2 years of work experience. I desperately want to feel happy, confident, relaxed and casual but am at such a loss. Plus, I don't really want to take any medicine. I want to try to deal with it by changing my attitude and taking small steps but for a permanent change, before its too late. These days I feel tense even before office calls and there's no way to get out of it. Please let me know if you have any suggestions to take control of my situation.

I recently took a neurotransmitter test from 2 differernt labs. One was called NeuroScience and the other was from a different company (can't remember the name, Geo-something). I was wondering if anyone has taken these tests before and curious of the validity. I got the results back from both and my brain chemistry is whack, to say the least. These tests were both given to me by my N.D., but when I brought the results to my pdoc he says they aren't valid and that "if testing for neurotransmitters was so easy, we would be able to do it for everyone and woulnd't have to play a guessing game with medications." Now, I did a LOT of research for each result I got and depending on what I was low/high in, was a dead ringer for my symptoms. Which leads me to believe the tests must be somewhat valid, no? Also, I got to thinking that maybe if these tests were more popular it would eliminate the need for pdocs. You could go to your GP, take the test, and get the exact medication you need. Why do M.D.'s not know about this test and/or validate it?

Hi There, I have been living with depression and anxiety for over 10 years. I am currently seeing a psycho therapist, who is great. But I'm here looking for support and a place to share my experiences and offer what I have to offer. I am currently not on any medication because I'm a little bit anxious when it comes to medication. I have heard that anxiety specifically seems to get better as we age, so I am waiting it out and kind of hoping for that to happen. In the mean time I am basically talking myself off the ledge when I have attacks and white knuckling it otherwise. Today has been a rather downer day which is what lead me to pursue this forum. That's me in a nutshell. Hope to have happy and healthy interactions and possibly help where possible Thanks for reading!

How can you deal with life knowing you have 40 to 70% lifetime risk of developing deadly pancreatic c****r? Genes were identified for hereditary pancreatitis which increases risk tremendously from developing the deadly disease. My mother passed away at 49 and grandfather around the same age. I've been a hypochondriac my whole life, dealing with heath anxiety issues. Visiting the various doctor over 30 times in 4 years. I thought I had brain/neck/lung/testicular/liver/oral/skin c****r. All came back negative. Now the new findings literally left me on the floor crying for hours. I am only 30 years old with a 4 month old boy who I adore. I can stand the thought of leaving him behind and not being able to see him grow up. I already suffer from extreme health anxiety which with new findings that are now leaving me in a deep depression. I find even hard to look at him without crying. My life is slow and boring. The thought of laying in my death bed regretting all the things I could have been or should have done to be happy. I never live in the moment. My life consist of sitting around working on websites all day. Please someone help me with tips, words of wisdom or anything! To top it off, I have the worst insurance for mental health, which is Kaiser. Only group therapy is offered and you're able to see counselor once every 6 weeks Every article I read -- and I read many of them, all point to the increased risk. It's on my mind all day and night. I cannot eat due to my nerves. Even when I'm having a good time, it's still in back of my head. You would think knowing this info would help diagnosing something early, but it's unlikely. My dream come true would to live to be 90 like my other grandparents.

I honestly don't even know what to classify myself at this point. I don't feel like my anxiety "issues" are even worth mentioning because it could be much worse. My anxiety attacks aren't really physical, but they are still very real to me. I do have the occasional shortness of breath, and sweaty palms... but I just don't feel my anxiety is as bad as most. Is it normal? Am I in denial? I am so utterly confused. Help me. I feel trapped.

Hi my name is tony and i am 26 yrs old. About 14 months ago i started seeing my current girl friend who is 30. Everything was going well and we soon fell deep in love with each other. About 4 months into the relationship my girlfriend told me that she was on anti depression medication by the name of citalopram. This was a shock to me as she always seemed to happy and easy going. She explained that in her last relationship she was very unhappy and tried to fix this with the pills. We talked and a yr down the line she decided to give them up. she started by cutting down and then stopped this was about 3 weeks ago. Now she seems so stressed and always crying. I really want to help her through this but i have no idea what she is going through. she seems to have a short fuse and we can row over the smallest things. I know i am no angel and can be the cause of the arguments we have. I really feel lost at the moment. How can i fix this and what can i do to support her so we do not throw our relationship away??

This article raises concerns that the use of antidepressants may actually be making health worse. I think they are a great help to anyone suffering from chronic depression, but I do feel that some doctors dole them out like sweeties. Maybe people should be encouraged to find more natural ways to boost their serotonin levels first. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2134863/Anti-depressants-harm-good.html

I've recently noticed my depression's getting worse and easier to set off. I had a massive problem with my soon-to-be-ex housemate and her partner basically nicking stuff out of my room, then returning it. Since then, I've locked my door at all times apart from when I'm in the room - even when it's just me and Jon. Now my other housemate is having a massive go at me cos we have someone (who may live with us next academic year) doing a house viewing on Sunday. The problem is that apparently this person might want to look in my room (why? She won't be in my room!) and cos I'll be at work, my door will be locked. Cue my news feed being clogged up by her and my fiance Jon having an argument over whether or not it's acceptable to lock your door in your own house! It's been really hard for me because my depression's been steadily getting worse, and although I have tried Sertraline, and also Citalopram, as well as Prozac, it's become very easy to set me off. For example, the situation above happened today after I'd spent the whole day with my fiance and my best mate having my engagement photoshoot done (by my best mate!). I had a great time, then came back to find my housemate having a go at me over the fact that I lock my bedroom door! Just fed up with people having a go at me for nothing.

Hello everyone. My name is Brittany and I was officially diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD in 2009. I have been on Citalopram since then, and just recently decided to make the huge decision to come off my meds and try to take life on by myself. I would not recommend that to anyone who has not first spoken to their doctor/therapist and really put a lot of thought into it. Meds are serious business and you need to make sure you come off them right. (I'm sure many of you know this already ) I have been going through a lot lately including my fiance' breaking up with me. I'm sure you can imagine how tough that can be on someone like me. I've been crying a lot and I'm just so glad to have this site now as a place to come and talk. I have so many emotions built up inside me and it's taken me a very long time to be open and honest like I am today. If you're reading this, feel free to message me anytime. I would love to chat with you. I actually hope to one day be a Psychologist! Anyway, if you want to know more about me, just ask

Lets share our stories how sleep disorder has impacted your everyday life! I had the least pleasent sleeping disorder period when I was 19, living in a new apartment that I had just started renting out. I could sleep maybe for 3hours (random timing) throughout the 24h period and it affected my college a lot. I was not able to study, train, go out with friends because I was way too sleepy, but I wasn't able to sleep either no matter how hard I tried. Everything started falling apart, but somehow I managed to overcome it in 6 months after the symptoms appeared. Never went to the doctor or said to anyone except my girlfriend. This is the period I don't remember much, which makes it easier to digest.

Hi! I am glad that I found this forum because for so long, I have been looking for a place for me to vent or talk to people who could relate to the things that I had experienced in the last few years. I lost my mother about 5 years ago, and ever since then, I have always had panic and anxiety attacks. I remember at one point, I was rather depressed. This was not something that I could share with my siblings or father, because I felt as if they would brush it off (not that they would, I suppose I was just not comfortable in confiding in them). So, I hope I would be able to learn from all of you.... thanks for having me here! Kind regards, Myst