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About Dawn

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  1. I don't. I should, because I need to be aware of what they are up to in case I can relate it to something on my website, but I'm just not particularly interested.
  2. A honk from me too. I'd really much prefer to stay home and away from other people. I the moment I just don't feel I can relate to strangers in a social context, at all and I'm not sure I even want to.
  3. I've just had to deal with Spanish bureaucracy at its worst. I used to be really strong and could manage to do things like this, but today I was faced with a man who went out of his way to be unhelpful. My Spanish isn't great but if the person speaks slowly and clearly, I can usually get by. This guy wouldn't do that even though I asked him (In Spanish) to slow down. Eventually I got a Spanish person on the phone who would have been able to help, but he wouldn't even take the phone from me to communicate with my friend. You would of thought I was trying to hand him a turd! I got so stressed I just burst into tears and then felt so silly. At that point I couldn't even gather enough Spanish to tell him what I thought of him. I felt such a fool and cried all the way home. I've now got to make another appointment and go back and I feel sick even thinking about it. I don't know where my confidence has gone but I wish I could get it back.
  4. I like to be alone. I can't bear it when someone tries to hug me or to offer words of comfort. Nothing helps so I just don't want anything that I have to respond to in any way.
  5. It is very sad that your Mum isn't trying to understand, but Gilly is right, you should try to talk to your doctor.If he isn't sympathetic then ask to be referred. There is help available, you don't need to go on feeling this way. Remember that you are not alone and are not the only one that feels this way. There are people on here who may not feel the same, but we do understand how crippling anxiety like this can be. Do you think you could try to tackle just one of the things that worries you? Even taking small steps can be daunting, I know, but every little achievement will boost your confidence a little. Maybe you could make a list of things that you could talk about to your boyfriend, so you have that in front of you when you speak. Think of a compliment to give him (They always like that) and a few questions to ask. If you make sure they are open questions, where he can't give a yes or no answer, that will help the conversation along. Good luck with the doctor.
  6. I love a glass of white wine, or three, or four, or more. In fact just give me the bottle and I'll be as happy as Larry. Not had any for a while though as I'm trying to diet, but just thinking about it is causing me a problem!
  7. I think people fail to understand because they relate everything back to themselves. If they can cope with life, then everyone should be able to. They have no idea how out of control it is to feel like that. They can't see the hurt so they can't contemplate it. The poem is so very well expressed. Thank you for sharing it.
  8. I feel that you need to do something about this. What an awful situation you have found yourself in and I agree that society is to blame. However you do need to eat healthy food or you will be storing up problems for the future. You have put your children's health ahead of your own and now you need to consider their needs again. You will not be much help to them in the future if you become ill. What you have is a form of Anorexia, which is basically the inability to eat. You need to get help, for your children's sake if not for your own.
  9. It is so difficult isn't it. especially when you see other people who lose weight when they're unhappy! Just one of the unfair things in life, I suppose. If you had the energy it would be good to take a walk instead of eating, but if you are anything like me, that's the last thing you'll feel like doing! I wish I had the answer to it.
  10. This article raises concerns that the use of antidepressants may actually be making health worse. I think they are a great help to anyone suffering from chronic depression, but I do feel that some doctors dole them out like sweeties. Maybe people should be encouraged to find more natural ways to boost their serotonin levels first. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2134863/Anti-depressants-harm-good.html
  11. That sounds awful, I'm really glad it isn't one of my symptoms. Does it last after the panic attack or just while you have it? I get a kind of burning in my throat but that's just because breathing is so difficult, I think.
  12. I don't think you can do this alone. It was a huge thing that happened to you and it isn't surprising that it is still having an impact on your life. However, now that you have a daughter your life isn't your own any more. Being depressed must have an effect on your daughter. There's every chance that professional intervention will help you and I think you owe it to your daughter to try. It is probable that you will find it difficult, and it is possible that you will feel a lot worse before you feel better, but in the long run, your life will improve. There's a wonderful life out there for both of you. I hope you can get the help you deserve and enjoy the future.
  13. The early morning phone call would do it for me too. I have three kids away at Uni and worry about them constantly. My kids know they can ring me any time with a problem and I've recently had "Mum, ***'s lying in the gutter and the police are coming, what should I do?" and "Mum, how drunk does someone need to be before you all an ambulance?" Definitely not the best way to start the day!
  14. I eat unfortunately. Chocolate works wonders for the mind but does little for the belly! After chocolate I need something that crunches. There's something wonderfully therapeutic about having a good crunch. Unfortunately I never seem to have any carrots or celery when the feelings take me. I have tried cleaning and that helps a little but I can eat while I clean (as long as I'm doing the loo, obviously).
  15. Sphinx, I think you sound wonderful! The world is full of boring people but I'd much rather spend time with someone with personality and kindness. I'm sure your friends really appreciate knowing you and having you in their lives.