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fortheo last won the day on March 23 2020

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About fortheo

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  1. Start now. Oh and by the way, there's plenty of 20 year old guys out there who would be interested in you. Just do what you want and don't worry about what society makes you "think" people your age should be doing. If you feel ready to try some things, then go for it. Good luck
  2. For some people anxiety can be a lot worse at night. Combine that with the fact that you're at a friends house, and essentially alone while everyone else sleeps, then it's understandable that a bit of anxiety might pop up. The only advice I can really give is to constantly remind yourself that it's anxiety and that it will pass. You've had anxiety attacks before and they all passed, this one will too. Good luck.
  3. Gaining weight is basically just math. Keep track of what you eat on a normal day (yes, count the calories), and whatever amount you eat, add 500 to 1000 more calories to that a day, preferably in well rounded meals (carbs, protein, fat). One pound is like 3500 calories, so if you add only 500 calories a day to your normal intake, then you'll gain a pound a week, which is a healthy rate to gain weight. You could go the extreme route and try something like the GOMAD (gallon of milk a day) diet, which basically just works on the same principles (a surplus of calories) but you get them from drinking a ton of milk on top of what you already eat. Long story short: if you want to gain weight, you need to make sure you're eating more calories. If you're not gaining weight, then you're not eating a surplus of calories. It's easier said than done for us naturally skinny guys.
  4. I was diagnosed with depression years ago, and I know that's a problem; but I'm also extremely introverted, and I've been an introvert for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I was always on my own. My mom would vanish for weeks at a time, sometimes more, and I'd always just ride my bike or build tree forts or read alone. I was perfectly fine with that, in fact I preferred it. I would never go to friends' houses and I would never have friends over. I would never join clubs at school or stay for after school programs; I had no interest in that stuff. Fast forward to adulthood: I'm depressed, struggling my way through college, and I have almost zero interest in making friends or socializing. What I do have an interest in is my hobbies—I play guitar, study music theory, study french, read etc etc. The problem (so I'm told) Is that I actively turn down social invitations so that I can stay home and study these things. I'm very picky with my time; I have my whole day planned out from the moment I wake up, and it almost never includes socializing—it includes things that I enjoy doing on my own. I don't know if it's bad that I prefer my hobbies over socializing—I'd think my hobbies were a good thing because at least I have an interest in something. If I sacrifice time for socializing, my all or nothing thinking kicks in and I start to crumble thinking about how much time I'm losing from my interests....then I get depressed and become a human mole. I think what I'm trying to get at is this: My family tells me I need to open up more and broaden my horizons and meet new people and all that stuff (stuff I have no interest in), but if I do that, then that would mean I'm sacrificing time from the only aspect of my life that I enjoy, which is my hobbies. They think me being an introvert is because I'm depressed and anxious, but really I just don't value social life as much as I value bettering myself in other areas. I've gotten the "well, sometimes you just need to do what you dislike speech", but "getting out there" leads to me losing a part of myself and thus begins the cycle of my depression once again.
  5. Well, on the weekdays I sleep very odd hours. I'll nap a few hours here and there between my responsibilities. Then I will typical be up all night. It's come to the point where I don't even know If I want to change you know? like...I don't think there is anything wrong with me; I simply sleep better during the day than I do at night. There is just a lot of pressure for the majority of us to keep the same schedule as everyone else and I just suck at conforming I guess. I need to figure out how to work around my sleep schedule because I've tried my whole life to sleep better at night and it just doesn't sit well with me, both physically, and mentally. It also feels like I'd be sacrificing a part of myself if by some odd chance I ever fully acclimated to "normal sleep schedules". Maybe it's a control thing for me...I need this control over my life. I don't know really. It's not really hindering me at the moment though, it's just slightly annoying. I more so blame my exterior responsibilities placed on me by society than I blame my sleep schedule. Random rant over.
  6. It's been just about three years since I started this topic. It's depressing to see how little I've changed. Damn.
  7. Hey, welcome to the forum. I'm sure everyone will accept you here. I'm bad at introductions too, so......Hi. Have you read anything good lately?
  8. I'm not even agoraphobic—I'm just depressed as fuck these days, but that depression results in me staying home far more than I should. I think about how tired I am of the same four walls all the time, and I think about how it only enforces more of the same ole depression, and I think about how nothing will change when I'm stuck staring at the same fucking walls every day. However, I know that's not really the source of my problem because I do move around from my apartment to my relatives somewhat often, and despite that change I still start to feel shitty again once I settle in. I'm clearly meant to be a traveling banjo player.
  9. Honestly, the best natural thing I've done for my anxiety and depression is to exercise more and eat whole foods. It doesn't cure it but it definitely helps my mood. I use to drink chamomile tea every night too and I found that it did have a relaxing effect but it also gave me some weird dreams.
  10. Hey. I'm in a similar situation, kind of. Trying to get a degree with these disorders is extremely tiresome. I feel like I do really well one semester, and then fail or have to take the next semester off. I'm taking forever to get my degree, but fuck it. I too haven't had any panic attacks or bad anxiety for a while, I think my depression was like," fuck you anxiety, you're to much effort. Fuck all that fear and worrying, we're just going to be depressed and not care about anything anymore, and maybe eat lots of pizza because we're too lazy to cook. Anyways, Welcome to AC.
  11. Hey. You will be okay! first off, stay away from google. Do not, I repeat, do not google whatever symptoms you've had. You can visit your doctor to try and get a diagnosis. Then trust what he says and try to accept that the symptoms you are feeling are not because of c****r, but that they're because you have health anxiety. It's all thought patterns, you need to train your brain to think differently. Try to be self concious about your thoughts and try to notice the negative thoughts as they happen. This is one of the first steps towards recovery: Noticing the problem as it happens. Once you notice these thoughts, try to consistently assure yourself that it's JUST anxiety and that you will be okay. Obviously it's easier said than done. Best of luck!
  12. I actually failed my first semester at uni because of this, well, mine was more so depression. Anyways all I can suggest is try to make it to your classes and stay on top of your homework no matter what. I'm not just saying this because " school is important" blah blah, but actually doing something and forcing yourself to concentrate will help you get out of your own head and at the very least distract you. Also, when you're feeling lonely do you have any friends you could text and talk to ? That helps me a little. good luck
  13. Hey, glad to have you here. Medicine is definitely something different for each person. Try to figure out what you think is best for you. I'm sure your mom is trying to help, but you know how you feel better than anyone else.   Good luck.
  14. I get that feeling too, trust me it's the anxiety. It sucks, but it won't hurt you!