butterfllyflyaway

I am on anti depressants and klonopin for anxiety. Some days are better then others, but today I've had to drag myself out of bed to cook and clean and feed my children. Because if I don't do it, it won't get done. We got a snow storm. They want to play and build snow men, instead of telling them my whole body aches from this perminent cloud over my head... I fake a smile and throw some snow balls. They happily go In for cocoa and I go back out to shovel the walkway with gusts of wind so strong that no one can hear my cries. Then I wipe my face, and go back in to watch cartoons under the blankets and snuggle with my two favorite people In the world and remind myself how lucky I've got it. But like I said, some days are better than others.

Welcome back! I'm new here myself, but am really enjoying this site. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this anxiety battle. If you ever need to chat, feel free to message me.

Read a chapter from my novel and tell me what you think.

Well thank you!

Hello Jamie Welcome to the site. Thank you for serving our country. I'm very sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been having. I'm also sorry to hear about the deaths of your friends. With that being said, may I just say... You're one strong s.o.b.! Everything you've been through and you're still going strong! Not on drugs, and work ay a demanding job. Good for you! You should feel proud. Sounds to me like you have come a LONG way and you're not afraid to keep on going. Kutos! When I read the part about the dog at your brothers house I teared up. Lol dogs are very smart like that, knowing when you need them.... And always being there for you. They're also great for company, someone to cry to, they'll keep all your secrets, they'll work out with you. My son's classroom has a therapy dog... specifically meant for children with anxiety and somehow just petting her and playing with her helps children break out of shell... over time of coarse. Have you ever considered getting a dog? If so, maybe one of those big German shepherds so he can keep up with you and push you to your limits with going for a jog ect Okay now that I'm done rambling, seriously take it easy on yourself, you've been through ALLOT. And there's nothing wrong with taking one day at a time.

Hello everyone I'm new to this site, so far I love it. It's very informative, easy to use, and I feel like I can relate to allot of people here. Anyways, nice to meet you all!

I can definitely relate. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. But at least you're keeping up with the medical tests and making sure you are there for your children. That shows a lot of character! I was talking to my therapist a few weeks ago.... well I was crying to my therapist lol... and in between sobs I growled, "I'm so sick of crying! My personal goal is be able to NOT cry uncontrollably at inappropriate situations!" Her response shocked me. She said maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, and maybe you should just accept the fact that you're an emotional person. Some people aren't and some people are. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Or worry about. Not to mention if you cry, its because your body feels the need to release Stress hormones such as cortisol. She told me to try instead of feeling guilty about crying (which adds more emotional stress) just accept that you are going to have a cry, and its a healthy emotion. Everyone does it. Some just do it more then others. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway I hope this helps. Thoughts and prayers your way! Feel better.