BeautifulDisaster

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  1. I find that fear like that is a distraction from some thing or emotion you don't really want to face so then the physical symptoms become an easy distraction. It doesn't matter if it's something you want or not - it takes your mind off of things. And it becomes first one thing, then another and it becomes hard to distinguish what the root cause is. You don't fear the mass shootings or the car accidents because your mind truly believes that these things are rare and very unlikely to happen, but your mind is not convinced of this in terms of illnesses, and that's why illnesses are your focus. Recognizing that the body always makes "noise" in terms of physical pain or sensations will help you slow down the fear (as might seeing the chiropractor who can help with that), and only once the fear is slowed down enough, you can begin to consider what you may be subconsciously distracting yourself from. I have found that so much of my anxiety comes down to distraction from some thing or emotion in my life. Hope this helps.
  2. That's great that you are feeling better! Walking uphill 2 days prior?? And there's your answer!
  3. Yes to muscle tension. I have gotten this too. Stretching, massage, or even using a foam roller helps. It may take a few days of of trying to relax it before you notice a difference, so be patient!
  4. Same! I feel the exact same way! Thank you so much! This thread has definitely helped!
  5. @bin_tenn - thank you for reminding me of what mindfulness really is. You are spot on. I know this, but "conveniently forgot" in my panic. I have done a lot of work on myself and panic is not something I experience regularly, but as I am now, you and Chuck are making me realize that I am forgetting what I know in the midst of my anxiety. I really appreciate your post. You are not the first to bring up Eckhart Tolle to me! I haven't read his stuff or listened to him on YT, but I need to. I hear nothing but great things about him. Thank you for reminding me.
  6. @MobileChucko - I didn't realize it was white coat syndrome. I am struggling with the mindfulness - I think that's what I am trying to do when I focus on my breathing - trying to bring myself out of my head and in to the present. And I guess to some degree it must be working because I am not constantly panicked. I do have time off and on where I realize I am not worried about the appt. But I am panicking multiple times a day and this is something I don't usually do and I think that's why it's bothering me so much I feel the need to post. But like you said, it's a practice. I just need to keep practicing. I guess this just makes me aware of how much I do need to keep practicing it. @bin_tenn - this varies with me too. If I am sick and need to go to the dr, I still get anxious but not nearly as bad because I know I need a dr. In this case, my anxiety gets much much worse because I don't believe there is anything wrong with me, and I am going to a dr (this is how I feel) to "verify" this or to "just be sure " which creates self doubt "what if I am wrong after all and there is something wrong?" Yet I do see the value in check ups. Thank you both for taking the time to respond. It's nice to know I am not alone in this struggle.
  7. Hello. I am majorly struggling with my anxiety right now. I have a dr appt this week for a check up. I am not anticipating them finding anything, but the anxiety over this appt is getting to the point where I am feeling it physically (chest tightness and stomach feeling bad). My usual coping mechanisms aren't working so well. I feel like it's torture waiting for the appt to happen. From the moment I make the appt, the anxiety starts. As the days get closer, the anxiety gets worse. I know these check ups are important, but I feel like I am going for them to just look for things to find because otherwise, I wouldn't need to go. So it's the waiting. Then the hoping-nothing-is-found anxiety. And this time, it's actually with a new dr which I know is making it worse. Does anyone have any good coping mechanisms to share? I have been trying to slow my breathing down when the panic hits (it's off and on now throughout the day). And I have been telling myself to look at this as an opportunity to build a relationship with a new dr. But as the days get closer, the number of minor panic attacks are increasing as is the tightness and stomach issues. And it makes me question if it's worth making myself this sick over! I know this isn't good for me either! Any coping advice? Thank you in advance!
  8. I just love this. This is so spot on. We are just scaring ourselves when we are believing what's being shared in tv. The media is always going to look for "the story" - whatever is most dramatic to draw in the viewers or the sales. And we scare ourselves by falling into the trap. And we don't have to shut the world out or live in a hole, as you say, but we have to step back and say - it's a story for sales, not our story, and we don't even know the whole entire story. It's the separation that needs practiced. And it is a practice. It took me a long while to get good enough to be able to say that I can separate myself from the media stories. And also - so so true about not having an answer for everything. The drs don't even have answers for everything - i.e. "What's this redness?" "It's a rash." "What kind?" "Not sure but put cortisone on it and give it 2 weeks." End of story. Not needing an answer for everything takes so much practice too, but so well worth it.
  9. Hi there. I don't have experience with what you are asking, but I do have experience with emdr, and from reading your post, emdr sounds like something that could really help you. Even with emdr therapy, you need to have a therapist that you click with. Do you click with yours? Also, why did you only have 4 sessions? Typically emdr for your pressing issue can run 8-10 sessions and often causes more things that could be processed to come up. I am curious to know if your therapist stopped or if you stopped. I found it so helpful for me, and in the course of therapy, there were days where I would talk to her and she would say "let's do emdr to process this." So it can also be kind of ongoing. No doubt that you are suffering with PTSD and emdr is so good for it - I would say give it another try. I am not familiar with TRE, but as it deals with trauma, that could benefit as well. Are you working with a therapist? Working with a therapist is important when you start working with trauma. Also, anything that helps you reframe the past will help you move through this. I have even used reiki with past regression and found that very helpful and supportive of the emdr work that I did. And yes, severe knots in the stomach that last for hours is so common with anxiety. There was a period of time when I dealt with them too. Realizing that they were the result of anxiety helped because it took the fear away and I saw them as a sign that I needed to take care of my body - decrease the stress. It sounds like you are in the process of getting the help that you need, and you should be proud of that. As you continue to work through the trauma, the stomach pains will alleviate as well - we also hold the trauma in our bodies hence the stomach pains. Hope this helped.
  10. Antibiotics can definitely cause yeast infections - no doubt there. Fluconazole is the standard treatment drs prescribe for a yeast infection. Basically if you don't go the OTC route or the yeast infection keeps coming back and you end up at the drs, Fluconazole is what they are going to prescribe. Period. It has absolutely nothing to do with HIV. And that may make you think - well why didn't the dr just tell me to use monistat? They didn't because you are at the dr seeing them, and they know they can prescribe you a 1 dose pill instead of messy creams. So that's what they are going to do. FYI, the HIV note is there because yeast infections can be extremely common and chronic in those dealing with suppressed immune systems, and that's how it's recommended that they take the med. Saying that, I am not implying anything about you, I am just explaining why that is written there. Yeast infections are extremely common, and even moreso with antibiotics. In fact, you can get them without taking antibiotics. Even stress suppresses the immune system and can lead to an opportunistic yeast infection as well. After taking the pill, it will probably take 3 days or so before you feel a big difference so have patience, you should be feeling better soon. Hope this helps.
  11. Tension headaches are super common for me. Tension headaches can totally make you feel tired - your muscles are tight, hence the headache! Your body becomes tired from all of it. The warmth in your skin is probably a by product of it. Using your muscles (even just tension) produces heat. But you don't have a fever, which is all that matters, and your dr didn't say anything about it. So yes yes yes. All of it is a byproduct of constant physical tension and stress, and speaking from my own experience, tension headaches can take days to fully resolve, especially when I try to treat them without advil. I hope by now you are feeling a bit better. (I saw your post, wanted to reply, but wasn't able to after the site had been down.) Hope this helps!
  12. @JungleJulia Yes! I have her book! I have read it a half dozen times! She started me on my holistic journey to healing my anxiety. I have not done her online program, but I would in a heart beat if I was on medication trying to come off (I don't take meds). I am also pretty self motivated, and I have incorporated many of her suggestions in to my life. I hear she has a new book coming out in the fall! How do you like it? Have you incorporated any of her ideas in your life? Have you found it useful? I love talking about her work!
  13. Yes and it can linger even if you feel like you aren't anxious anymore. You may feel like you aren't anxious, but it can be underlying in your body - subtle anxiety that you aren't fully aware of. Also it takes a while for the chemicals released during panic to completely dissipate. Give it some good time. And the more you monitor it, the more you will be sensitized to your symptoms. Hope this helps.
  14. Yes! Diet totally plays a role in all forms of anxiety. Any foods that increase inflammation in the body will increase feelings of anxiety and depression in the mind - they are interrelated. Taking care of your gut health will most definitely help your mental health. There is so much research out there on the connection between the two. Cutting out extra sugar and processed foods and increasing foods that come from animals and the earth is a great place to start. You don't have to do anything fancy - eggs in the morning and fruit are perfect. And make the food changes slowly. To go from drinking pop and eating candy regularly to stopping both completely and at the same time (not sure if this is what you did) is overwhelming and too much. One thing at a time, and one day at a time. And if you hate smoothies, then don't drink them! You don't have to. Try taking our 1 thing from your diet (say soda) and adding something healthy (like eggs for breakfast instead of a bagel) and over time, you can slowly change your diet in a way that will support your mental health. And in a way that feels good to you. And as you do this diet change, you will most likely find the stomach issues improving too as many of those issues are directly related to diet. But it will take time to heal it. I wish you the best of luck with this! It will help in so many ways!
  15. Yes. HA is a form of OCD - the obsessions with the health related fears and doubts, the intrusive "am I ok or not?" thoughts, the compulsive checking. The root of HA is OCD, and from reading your post, it sounds like you have both the obsessions (in your constant thoughts of ALS) and the compulsions (in terms of your self checking ). And I understand - with my anxiety, I deal with this too (just not ALS). I wouldn't say that HA leads to OCD. I would say that you have OCD and it is manifesting itself as HA, instead of, say, checking the stove 100x a day or washing your hands constantly, which is what is commonly thought of with OCD. You say that you no longer recognize yourself. Have you considered therapy? After 30 some years of dealing with this, I have finally found a therapist that I mesh with and am hoping for the best. At the very minimum, a therapist would help you see through the obsessions and shed some light and support for handling the compulsions. I am personally glad I have found that support for myseld. I am sorry you are going through this - hope this helped.