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Hi Holls! Long time no see...good for you on that. I'm glad you've been doing well. Deaths in the family can certainly cause all sorts of anxiety...and puppies, while so so so cute, are a lot of work. Sounds to me as if it's some kind of muscle pull or even tight muscles due to the stress of the deaths and new furry family members. I bet you were picking up those puppies and perhaps one weird move and you caused yourself some kind of pulled or cramped muscle. I don't think an xray would show muscle strain. Perhaps a massage? Perhaps some exercise to work out any muscle strains? Perhaps ask you doctor about those to see what she says? Anyhow, hang in there. Keep us posted.

I joined this site some 11 years ago and I know it has gone through a lot of ups and downs since then. When Gilly and friends founded the site it became one of the best, and I hope that will now continue. Does anyone know how Gilly is? It is a fact that anxiety is on the increase, and at a fast rate. Is it any surprise with the world as it is? Sites like this are badly needed. When I had GAD there were no such sites and not many had a computer. (Dinosaurs were around then!!😉). The books by Dr. Claire Weekes helped me so much, and her books and recordings are still available. I hope to be able to contribute to the site again.

Thank you @Ironman

The owners do come around. Both Anxiety Central and Anxiety Space. That "6 years" was likely the image left behind and not updated. I have known the owners for years. We were on other forums and saw the same business you have. My forum was "powder blue" lol.

You're overloading yourself and then freaking out about things that you can't balance on that overloaded plate. At that point, you have to stop and assess what you can handle and let the rest go.

You were right too. I have been getting that spacey feeling lately. It’s usually when my anxiety and “memory” issues are freaking me out too.

I had issues with swallowing - it was definitely stress-related. Eventually, you'll relax, but it's an annoying process to get there.

We had to fix some database issues.

Ah ok I see what you are saying. And that the dr thinks they are related. I think it is typical to jump to the most catastrophic thing, but you were thoroughly checked in multiple spots and all Was fine - not the lymphoma. Rashes can be a pain and take forever to clear, but you know it isn’t life threatening. Because you were thoroughly checked. Keep reminding yourself of that!

That’s great that it is still improving! If you are very fair skinned, you are going to get and see all of the red marks- that’s normal. I am also wondering if you are more hypersensitive to the marks on your body now. If you get red marks, and you will, I don’t think you have to put anything on it besides a good lotion maybe. We all get red marks. Not sure about the steroid cream so calling to ask would be a good idea. I understand completely about the HA, but think of it this way: you saw 3 derms. Two of them completely disagree with the one. That should say something there. The second derm sounds catastrophic to me and overly dramatic. But you have 2 others that completely disagree! I would lean on that fact. There is no reason for your mind to go to any scary place now! You are ok and it is healing!

I understand. Doesn’t sound like there is really anything left to do but let it be.

Honestly, I'm so over all of this and mentally exhausted. At this point, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Oh so you are pulling on your skin to look at it? Yes that can be keeping it red looking for sure and can definitely be a reason why you had trouble with the stitch and the infection. The skin is really sensitive and I know you said you skin is super sensitive anyway. So if it is a hard to see area, and there is nothing medically wrong with this area, could it have been there even before the mammo? Like maybe it has been redder for some time due to aging and hormone changes? That is a question to consider. It may not be new, but new to you, and the only reason you found it was because of the pain after the mammo. Otherwise you wouldn’t have known it was there? Thank you for the prayers… that is much appreciated!! 🤗 glad i could help during what was a really scary time. I know you are ok. It’s a mind thing right now- not liking it being there. But I am so glad that’s what it is.

I am glad to hear the infection and the biopsy sites are healing- exactly as it should be and that is a good sign that the tissue is healthy. I think one of the hardest things to tolerate is not knowing. They don’t know what it is, but they know what it isn’t. He thoroughly checked it and looked for all kinds of nasty things- which it wasn’t. I know you feel like he dismissed you, but could it be because he knows it isn’t life threatening but doesn’t know exactly what it is so it’s not something he feels he needs to treat and thus, he doesn’t have to see you anymore? I would think that would be a great sign because he would in no way jeopardize his medical degree by brushing you off. Maybe he just doesn’t see a need for you to go back because he has nothing to treat- which is good! I know you don’t like it but maybe it is the way your body is changing over time. All that matter is - it is nothing that needs to be treated. I wonder - if you spent a few days not looking at it at all, if it would look lighter to you. I have been there before where you look and focus on a color or mark on your body and it looks so much darker than it really is because you keep looking and you expect it to look that way. Try not to look at it at all for even one week and see how it looks different. That’s ok to do because you know the tissue is healthy and you know it is nothing to be treated. It may look lighter after that break.

I think this is a part of the health anxiety journey. You had all of the tests and very thorough tests and 4 drs actually see you. There is no direct explanation for it. This is a good time to practice accepting that sometimes we don’t know the answers. Sometimes you won’t know what caused something and that’s ok. And when the anxiety comes up, you look back at the evidence of …. It was clearly thoroughly tested and 4 people looked at me. So whatever it is, it isn’t harmful. I would go to say …. You just don’t like it. And that is creating the anxiety. You want it gone now and it isn’t and you want to know what it is and you don’t, so you don’t like it. I have been there before. But since you have had all the tests and been all checked out, you can use that to help you practice accepting the body as it is right now.

It's not necessarily a failure. You opened up You were willing to take advice, even through the stubbornness of anxiety. You are willint to take a look back. Overcoming anxiety is a process. Each one of these situations is a chance to analyze and learn. How we think - how we react. The goal is to not react as severely to the next situation. 🙂

Well that should make you feel better that he had the biopsy test for all kinds of things and it all came back negative. It is also great that it is getting lighter. You won’t notice it so much because I am sure you are looking at it often and the anxiety will make you see it worse than it really is. this is a good time to practice trust in your body. Everything was thoroughly checked out. He doesn’t know what it is exactly but knows it isn’t anything life threatening. So now you trust your body to heal it to whatever degree it does and then you trust that it is ok even if it takes forever to fade. Sometimes we don’t get the answers, and that’s ok. But you know for sure what it isn’t, and that should bring you peace of mind. Yes please keep us updated!!

It is possible that you may always have coloring there. May stick around for a while. May never know what it is. But that is all ok be you have been thoroughly checked.

It’s going to look the same to you because of the anxiety. I have been there before. And when you keep looking and looking you won’t see any changes because you are looking so much. And with all of the anxiety you had around it waiting and waiting and being scared by the drs, you aren’t going to see the subtle changes. Your husband, who is more clear minded right now and not constantly looking, can see the changes. And to be honest, it doesn’t matter if it changes because 4 drs have seen it and the last one thoroughly checked you out, biopsied, and asked the pathologist to check for every scary possible thing - and it’s not. So to be truthful…. It doesn’t matter right now how fast it is going away or changing or even what it is because we know what it is not. Skin also is very sensitive to anxiety and it could be taking a while simply from all of the very high stress levels you have been under. But overall…. It doesn’t matter for all that I have said above. This is a good time now to practice letting go and allowing the body to show you it can heal on it’s own

I want you to know, BeautifulDisaster, that I thanked God for you today. There's no way I could have gotten through this without you.

I am SO happy for you!!! Go out and celebrate with your husband tonight!

It really does...really.

So glad I could help even a little. Sometimes having someone to talk to makes all the difference. 🤗

I could never ever ever repay your kindness BeautifulDisaster....never. You literally have kept me sane.

BENIGN!!!!!! So I talked with the Dermatologist. It is not lymphoma and he is no longer considering that. It came back as "dermatitis" but they have no idea specifically or how to treat it. It could be a drug reaction, could be Lupus (Derm doesn't think so because he says it doesn't look like it...though it wouldn't surprise me because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis)...to be honest, the same meds for RA are used for Lupus...so I really don't care. Plus I had a complete workup for my RA recently and all my bloodwork is stellar and it would show the Lupus - I really don't think that's it either. He said it could be a drug reaction. He said it could be pityriasis rosea which is benign and self limiting. He didn't think that was it. He was honest in saying that he was unsure as to the cause of the skin inflammation. I told him my husband thought it was getting lighter. He said, it might just take time to resolve and we may never know the cause. He said he didn't want to treat it with anything...just leave it alone and let the body do it's thing. I asked him if it could be morphea...which wouldn't be surprising given that I have Rheumatoid. He said it was possible but the tests didn't show that. Regardless he said that he "wouldn't lose sleep over this" and that "he doesn't see anything life threatening." So we watch and wait...for now. At least we know that as of right now it is not cutaneous lymphoma as he specifically asked the pathologist to look for that. BeautifulDisaster and Ironman...God bless you both for your help through this horror. I pray this redness resolves soon but until then at least I can sleep. Praise God for the miracle...all Glory to God.

Yep - don't google. You'll scare yourself!

Awe that is sweet of you to say 🤗 thank you. I am glad my words have helped. Sending you all the positive energy and thoughts. I am still holding fast to: it’s going to be ok🤗

BeautifulDisaster, I will most definitely keep you posted. You've been at my side every step of the way and I can't express how much that has helped me. At this point, what can we do other than wait and pray (and cry)? Thank you again. You are an angel...truly.

It's hard to do. The doctors will know what to do one they have their info. It's early in any case so it would be faster to treat.

No worse is a good sign. What you are worried about moves very quickly. You said the color is dramatically different- did the dr feel that way about it? (Either dr?). Are you married or have a partner? If so, what are their thoughts? I ask because I have had fears over this too due to skin color. And the skin color I would question always looked “dark” to me or “red” but I was always told “nope - that’s not “red””. I am definitely not saying there is nothing there to see, but I am wondering if it looks worse to you than it is because you are so worried which is understandable. The fact that it isn’t getting worse is great news. Hopefully the derm can help. I am assuming you will contact them again this coming week? You believe this was caused by the mammo right? What did the gyn and derm say about that?

the site is up - awesome work. If you see spam, report it!

I had basal cell carcinoma on the upper right part of my nose 14 years ago. My dermatologist sent me to a Mohs surgeon. The surgery was performed in his office. I sat in a special chair and a heart monitor and blood pressure cuff was put on me and I had local anesthesia and the surgery began. He had to go in twice as he said the tumor was bigger and deeper then he had originally thought. He said there was a 99% chance it would not come and so far it has not. I get a yearly checkup by my dermatologist.

@Total Eclipse Thank you!!

*sigh* ....I have all of those I hate when I tell someone I have anxiety and they tell me its all in my head n get over it. People who dont suffer anxiety dont realize its as much physical as it is mental. :/