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Im sorry you lost your dad. Mine passed in July. Big hugs. I was an ALS worrier so unfortunately, I know way more than I should. Pain and feeling off is not a symptom. That's actually the exact opposite. They have failure with no feeling. You can still do all of your normal activities even if you have moments of pain or feeling weakness and feelings off it's not a symptom. It's absolutely not Als. People with als would tell you to get it out of your mind and live your life. Als worry can be a rabbit hole that can steal your time and happiness..don't let that happen.

Ah ok I see what you are saying. And that the dr thinks they are related. I think it is typical to jump to the most catastrophic thing, but you were thoroughly checked in multiple spots and all Was fine - not the lymphoma. Rashes can be a pain and take forever to clear, but you know it isn’t life threatening. Because you were thoroughly checked. Keep reminding yourself of that!

That’s great that it is still improving! If you are very fair skinned, you are going to get and see all of the red marks- that’s normal. I am also wondering if you are more hypersensitive to the marks on your body now. If you get red marks, and you will, I don’t think you have to put anything on it besides a good lotion maybe. We all get red marks. Not sure about the steroid cream so calling to ask would be a good idea. I understand completely about the HA, but think of it this way: you saw 3 derms. Two of them completely disagree with the one. That should say something there. The second derm sounds catastrophic to me and overly dramatic. But you have 2 others that completely disagree! I would lean on that fact. There is no reason for your mind to go to any scary place now! You are ok and it is healing!

Honestly, I'm so over all of this and mentally exhausted. At this point, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Oh so you are pulling on your skin to look at it? Yes that can be keeping it red looking for sure and can definitely be a reason why you had trouble with the stitch and the infection. The skin is really sensitive and I know you said you skin is super sensitive anyway. So if it is a hard to see area, and there is nothing medically wrong with this area, could it have been there even before the mammo? Like maybe it has been redder for some time due to aging and hormone changes? That is a question to consider. It may not be new, but new to you, and the only reason you found it was because of the pain after the mammo. Otherwise you wouldn’t have known it was there? Thank you for the prayers… that is much appreciated!! 🤗 glad i could help during what was a really scary time. I know you are ok. It’s a mind thing right now- not liking it being there. But I am so glad that’s what it is.

I am glad to hear the infection and the biopsy sites are healing- exactly as it should be and that is a good sign that the tissue is healthy. I think one of the hardest things to tolerate is not knowing. They don’t know what it is, but they know what it isn’t. He thoroughly checked it and looked for all kinds of nasty things- which it wasn’t. I know you feel like he dismissed you, but could it be because he knows it isn’t life threatening but doesn’t know exactly what it is so it’s not something he feels he needs to treat and thus, he doesn’t have to see you anymore? I would think that would be a great sign because he would in no way jeopardize his medical degree by brushing you off. Maybe he just doesn’t see a need for you to go back because he has nothing to treat- which is good! I know you don’t like it but maybe it is the way your body is changing over time. All that matter is - it is nothing that needs to be treated. I wonder - if you spent a few days not looking at it at all, if it would look lighter to you. I have been there before where you look and focus on a color or mark on your body and it looks so much darker than it really is because you keep looking and you expect it to look that way. Try not to look at it at all for even one week and see how it looks different. That’s ok to do because you know the tissue is healthy and you know it is nothing to be treated. It may look lighter after that break.

I think this is a part of the health anxiety journey. You had all of the tests and very thorough tests and 4 drs actually see you. There is no direct explanation for it. This is a good time to practice accepting that sometimes we don’t know the answers. Sometimes you won’t know what caused something and that’s ok. And when the anxiety comes up, you look back at the evidence of …. It was clearly thoroughly tested and 4 people looked at me. So whatever it is, it isn’t harmful. I would go to say …. You just don’t like it. And that is creating the anxiety. You want it gone now and it isn’t and you want to know what it is and you don’t, so you don’t like it. I have been there before. But since you have had all the tests and been all checked out, you can use that to help you practice accepting the body as it is right now.

It’s going to look the same to you because of the anxiety. I have been there before. And when you keep looking and looking you won’t see any changes because you are looking so much. And with all of the anxiety you had around it waiting and waiting and being scared by the drs, you aren’t going to see the subtle changes. Your husband, who is more clear minded right now and not constantly looking, can see the changes. And to be honest, it doesn’t matter if it changes because 4 drs have seen it and the last one thoroughly checked you out, biopsied, and asked the pathologist to check for every scary possible thing - and it’s not. So to be truthful…. It doesn’t matter right now how fast it is going away or changing or even what it is because we know what it is not. Skin also is very sensitive to anxiety and it could be taking a while simply from all of the very high stress levels you have been under. But overall…. It doesn’t matter for all that I have said above. This is a good time now to practice letting go and allowing the body to show you it can heal on it’s own

I want you to know, BeautifulDisaster, that I thanked God for you today. There's no way I could have gotten through this without you.

So glad I could help even a little. Sometimes having someone to talk to makes all the difference. 🤗

BeautifulDisaster, I will most definitely keep you posted. You've been at my side every step of the way and I can't express how much that has helped me. At this point, what can we do other than wait and pray (and cry)? Thank you again. You are an angel...truly.

the site is up - awesome work. If you see spam, report it!

You absolutely will get back to yourself soon. Your future is big and bright! Definitely start making plans. I too at times want to sleep and escape reality.. I have a 20 month old and she is a fireball! she keeps me running all day. Honestly if it wasn't for her I would be in worse shape. I'm doing therapy too.. it's a new therapist so it's slow going. That's good you are in therapy too, it really does help. I'm so sorry about your dad. I can't imagine what you went through. That sounds traumatic.. My dad told me he didn't want me or my sisters with him when he passed..he said that was a Private moment and he didn't want us crying over him. We left my brother in law at the hospital and when he stepped out of the room my dad passed. He had his private moment..I regret it and then I don't..I know that's all part of grief. It's like one hell of a rollercoaster. I hope you are giving yourself a lot of grace. Sounds like your dad was a great man and y'all were close. I'm sure he's still close by you. Do you ever feel him?.do you feel he leaves you signs? I asked my dad if he would and he said no lol!! He said he would be too busy having fun and he would see me when it was my time. I'm here if you ever want to swap dad stories and vent about it all, just sent me a message. Don't worry about your thumb though. It's absolutely fine.

I'm so excited for y'all! You have helped me so much too! I'm forever grateful!

The twitches have subsided again. Now it is a sore spot in my throat but it has already lessened by 75% in one day of ignoring it. Anxiety is stupid and I usually do great at ignoring things and moving on. New babies bring a lot of stress though. We are any day now. 😅 Glad to hear from you again, @Holls. You were paramount in my early anxiety success 5 years ago when I found this site. Glad you are doing well!

Morning update: No pic this time, not necessary. Feels like some of the swelling has gone down a touch, but some still remains, as expected. Pain isn't as intense, just need to be careful how I walk. The "marks" I was upset about are basically nothing so I scared myself into a panic with the help of nefarious Dr. Google and Nurse Reddit. All told, I think I'm gonna be okay, and I have Ironman and Holls to thank for keeping me in check. I'll give the frozen veggie trick a go later, see if it helps me out some.

He sounds awesome. I hope you're taking care of yourself as best you can. Things will change eventually. They may not get "better", but your hurt will evolve and you'll learn to carry it with you.Grief doesn't mean you're broken or that you have a problem that needs to be fixed. It's just love in its most raw form. Tests aren't a terrible idea IF you can walk away content with the results. I've done the MRI thing before and felt that relief when I've been told "all normal, no need to follow up". But paying out of pocket? Geesh, what would that even cost? My anxiety has been awful for months now. Dad had been sick for several years and it was an ugly decline. He took a real turn for the worse around Thanksgiving and we lost him January 4th. I was there all through the night before, when he was in a coma and his organs were starting to shut down. And then I saw him take his last breaths the next morning. It was fucked up, to be blunt. I've been spiraling ever since. That, along with whatever is going on with my thumb, cranked my neurodegenerative fears WAY up. I'm in a fairly bad place with depressive symptoms. All I want to do is sleep and eat junk food. I'm terrified to even let myself daydream about the future. But I'm going to therapy and putting in the work. I'll get back to good eventually. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself.

Honestly, not well. I'm 44, I'm incredibly lucky and happy I had so many years with him but it's never enough. He was my hero and I miss him daily. My anxiety is through the roof. I was just on tik Tok and every post was about someone with cancer it freaks me out. My dad passed from a UTI that made him septic and fungal pneumonia very odd things. He was my opposite, he lived in the now and never ever worried. I wish I could do that. I want to run to the e.r and do a CT scan just so I know everything is fine lol. I've thought about paying out of pocket for those MRI full body scans but I've read that sometimes that leads to unnecessary worry and testing down the line. I expected this uptick in anxiety but it really sucks. How are you? Has your anxiety worsened since your dad's passing?

Hi holls. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. How are you doing with everything?

Congratulations on your new baby! How exciting..I have a 20 month old. She's been so much fun. She's our 4rth. (I'm 44) lol. My oldest is 20 😆 I had the lip twitch it felt so bizarre lol but it's harmless. I actually went to my Dr about it. I also couldn't see mine move in the mirror. I have had eyelid twitching. My eye Dr said it's stress! Ugh stress! it really can cause havoc.

Sounds something like carpal tunnel. I used to game a lot and I often had weird pains in my hands and shoulders from it. Just fyi, that’s sounds nothing like what you fear.

You answered your own question. It's just nerves and you're on edge, so it will happen. Life has stress, unfortunately. This is going to be a very volatile year, too. I have been saying "Buckle up, Buttercup!" quite a bit. ....and congratulations on your family addition!

Hi, My health anxiety is at an awful state, my mind keeps thinking of any possible illness I could have but I try to distract myself. My doctor diagnosed me with benign lipoma yesterday (soft lump above my right collarbone) and since then I felt a burning sensation from the back of my neck running to my entire back . I also feel tension on my neck and back and a headache . Really trying my best to convince it's nothing .

I am so sorry to hear about your dad’s passing. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you. This past year, I started therapy again as well with a new therapist. She does a therapy called Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and it has helped me immensely. I struggled with OCD and HA in the past and things have really shifted for me. It is similar to EMDR (which I have also done in the past but it didn’t really help me). It helps you reprocess the trauma by calming the body down using eye movements (like emdr) and then using your imagination to reprocess the events. I never had heard of it before and I didn’t seek it out - I was looking for a therapist and I thought she would click with me and then she tells me about this therapy I hadn’t heard of when I thought I had heard of it all lol. Anyway, it has really helped to eliminate the intrusive thoughts and the overthinking which would then trigger the HA behavior. I think it depends on the person- emdr is highly effective too but it never resolved the ocd for me like this therapy has. But just something you could look into. In the meantime at least, be kind to yourself. You have been through so much. This is your first holidays without him. Of course you are going to feel all of these things. Hope this helps.

The small increase in Klonopin has helped with my hand tremor and almost 100% of my twitches. Physical Therapy is very helpful but my copay is $40 and I was going 3 times a week. I do have some days that I have problems walking or standing in line at a store. My PD PT says it's anxiety because my exercises measure leg strength. Most days I'm positive and should say my symptoms have not changed since Oct. 2021 except getting out of bed. Still NO meds except Klonopin. I see my specialist again early February. I turn 73 tomorrow.

If there is a pattern of these not developing, then this would not be any diferent.

I would take a few deep breaths here. You have the appointment scheduled. The doctor himself says he wouldn’t worry about it. And that the mammo is for your peace of mind. Doctors know what they are feeling. He wouldn’t have said that if he wasn’t confident. Yes - I had a breast biopsy once that both the ob and the breast surgeon told me was only happening because my mother had breast cancer in the past - that it all looked fine but we are doing it because of that. So basically over checking. I was so freaked out, I couldn’t think clearly and I had it done. And everything was fine. That is likely what is happening to you. Please stop checking it. No need to. The dr thinks it’s all fine and you have a test scheduled. No amount of checking will change anything and can actually irritate the tissue and make it sore or inflamed. And you don’t have to check to see if it changed. If it goes away, you will still do the testing anyway. Just let it be. Having your doctor be that confident is very reassuring. Also are you near your cycle? Because you are more likely to feel all kinds of things then if you are. Hope this helps.

Stress causes anxiety....and the other way around too. You broke the cycle by getting rest!

This is more common than you think. If you are anxious, you are hypervigilant and are subconsciously trying to remember too much at once. We take in more information, so naturally something out of the worry zone can get pushed aside. Even master multitaskers can only handle so much at once.

Thanks for your reply. I got bilateral EMG on my arms and hands and it came back normal. Didn't test my neck though but I don't have any pain there unless my trigger points are active. I was seeing a Chiro a few years ago but stopped when I needed physical therapy for my shoulder and insurance wouldn't pay for both. Maybe I should start again.

It's normal - you just have to stop thinking so much about something that is involuntary.

My hands look like they twitch with the heartbeat. Yeah - it's normal.

Hi everyone.....quick update...still having daily headaches. Still waiting for a letter telling me when i am going for my CT. Headaches are mostly across my forehead or over my right eye. I go to the gym and the workouts don't make the headache worse. Tylenol, excedrin etc dont really help. My sinuses do feel a bit irritated, maybe that's it, who knows. I'm going for a massage on my neck and upper back this morning, hopefully that will help a bit. Still pretty worried this is something serious like a brain tumour.

Well, it's been a while! I'm currently in the throes of a skin cancer scare. I've had this mole on the side of my foot for several years now. I never really thought much of it, but over the years, I think maybe the color has gotten a little darker? It's still brown, just a darker brown maybe. It's also not totally symmetrical, but it's smaller than the size of an eraser. Not sure exactly how long I've had it, but long enough that I can't put a number to it. I've been fixating on it recently though, probably because my husband had to get a mole removed about a year ago, so my mind went to this one on my foot and latched on. Then last Christmas, my parents were visiting, and my dad looked at it and asked what it was, and I said it was a mole. So just him asking about it reinforced to me that it's probably a weird one. After having it stare me in the face for years, I finally decided it was bothering me enough to get it looked at. Went to the dermatologist yesterday and got a full body scan by a PA. So she first saw one on my thigh that I'm pretty sure I've had looked at before, but I couldn't be sure, so she biopsied that one. Then she gets to my legs and says, "I see the one you're talking about on your foot." Which automatically makes me nervous, because I was really hoping she'd be like, "Oh, that's nothing to worry about." So she asks to biopsy that one as well, because, to quote her, "We don't really mess with the ones on the feet, because the ones on the foot have the potential to change quickly." OH GOOD. So I said, is it like REALLY weird??! And she said, "Well, it's just a darker color and it's not symmetrical, so we'd just wanna check it out." So she leaves, and another nurse comes in to prep me for the biopsies, and the PA forgot to mark the one on my foot as needing to be biopsied, so she asks where the other one is, and I show it to her. And then I asked HER, hey, does this thing really look bad?? And she said, "No, it doesn't look bad, it's just not symmetrical." And I said, "So should I be worried?!" And she reassured me that I shouldn't be that worried about it. The PA came back and removed the two spots, and I asked again, "So, HOW worried should I be about these??" And the PA was like, "Well, I'm not getting cancer vibes from either one of them, so you shouldn't really worry about it." So now I get to play the game of waiting two weeks to find out if I have melanoma or not. I think I'm just worried, because it's been there a while, and I'm scared it's too late to do anything about it, if it's cancer. 😕

Are you picking at your skin? I am doing this. I have been out in the sun, and then I use a scrunchie thingy with Dr. Squatch soap (Bay Rum - I have to wonder if I am either scratching too hard or I am allerigic.) I have little pimples on my arms, and I pick them lol. I have even had weird dark spots on my face, they went away, and then I find a pimple. Just keep the area clean , don't pick, and then see what happens.

Tight muscles can get the nerves going, too. The nerves were probably expecting the muscles to relax.

It did let up almost entirely yesterday and today barely bothers me. I’ve noticed that when I feel the shaking I’m super tensed up. I mentally force myself to relax and it goes away. I believe this is the same as my twitching was five years ago. I didn’t realize how stressed and tense I was and I twitched all the time. Working on rest and relaxation right now. At this point, worst case is MS and that just isn’t all that scary.

@sTeaLth Yes, onset of PD is usually after 60, so without a family tie, you’re probably too young for that. I’ve been in the MS fear boat before too. It’s encouraging that your symptoms go away when you aren’t paying attention to it or when you’re exercising. I used the gym as a way to prove that I was still able to do things and push myself, and I figured I wouldn’t be able to do that if I had something like MS. Keep it up if you’re doing that.

With doctors, no news is good news. I was lucky to get a print out from a CAT scan. I had a sinus infection so bad, I burst a blood vessel and had a hemorrhage in my eye, It was from an electric air purifier that wasn't working right.....but it scared the heck out of two eye doctors. One said I would be blind in that eye for the rest of my life, and then sent me across town to a specialst in 90F July sunshine with dilated pupils!!!! I didn't have any sunglasses - and didn't know that I would need them! The CAT scan was because one doc thought I had a stroke. No sign of one, and they really never told me!!

They are good at handling this stuff. I had a wart removed from the side of my nose. It was on the soft area where they tell you not to put Compound W or home cryo stuff. They shave cut it off and told me to use Vaseline on the spot and cover with a Band-Aid for a week or so. They also test it, but I didn't hear anything.

I finally made myself beat it, after wasting time doing side quests haha. Such a good game. So I'm not a big follower of yoga or meditation, but I did download this guided meditation app at one point called Headspace, and I used to listen to it before I went to sleep. The sessions are only a few minutes long, but I found that it helped me a lot when I was trying to quiet my mind down. Might be something to look into. Hope you feel better soon.

I don't have anything helpful to add besides saying I've had this too, and it definitely goes away when I'm not thinking about it. You also mentioned it felt like it would move around, and I feel like these things would likely affect one area and then spread, not jump around, you know? If one area feels better while another one suddenly feels worse, I'd imagine it's anxiety. Side note, love your avatar. 🙂 Have you played Tears of the Kingdom yet?

It is...believe me...I know it is. Going through my own struggles right now as well. Sigh... HA is a beast. For me, I was equally as freaked out about the symptom and then just sort of "gave up." I just stopped fighting it because I had literally worn myself out about it. I didn't "try" to stop it. I just plumb wore myself out. That's the only way I can explain it. I wish I could do that again now with my own fear du jour but alas. Anyhow, once I gave up...it's like the HA said "Darn, this isn't working any longer. Okay, bring on the next symptom." Meanwhile, I can also tell you this I have other family members that have complained about the same internal shaking/trembling feeling and they are all alive and well for decades...but of course, they too battle anxiety. I'm the calm one in the family. Ha ha! think about that!

I have absolutely had that and it has absolutely gone away...for years. For a while I was having it off and on, on the regular but when I finally just gave up it went away. I'm sure for me it was anxiety. Hang in there.

I think it's stress. It plays with the mind.

Done...nothing too sinister...but sadly and of course, had sketchy stuff burned off that I hope will go away. My dream is to one day go to my derm and not have to have anything burned off. Alas...

The only thing I can think of would be a hangnail or an ingrown hair. All you can do it wait it out and keep it clean. Wash it with peroxide or antibacterial soap.?

I had basal cell carcinoma on the upper right part of my nose 14 years ago. My dermatologist sent me to a Mohs surgeon. The surgery was performed in his office. I sat in a special chair and a heart monitor and blood pressure cuff was put on me and I had local anesthesia and the surgery began. He had to go in twice as he said the tumor was bigger and deeper then he had originally thought. He said there was a 99% chance it would not come and so far it has not. I get a yearly checkup by my dermatologist.

@Total Eclipse Thank you!!

*sigh* ....I have all of those I hate when I tell someone I have anxiety and they tell me its all in my head n get over it. People who dont suffer anxiety dont realize its as much physical as it is mental. :/