creative ineptitude

Thank you @Ironman

I have been trying to find a mental illness forum for months. This is the 3rd one i found i had an account in, a somewhat memory and my life's changes. But i haven't gotten a chance to see if Anxiety Central was "active". Forums have become a mess throughout the years, thanks to the red one. I have been looking for 2 forums for different things, mental is 1 of them and 3 months of looking and i am almost at the end. I read my posts from 2014 in here, a forum stating it's 6 years old. Which now that i am thinking about it, the owners and runners/volunteers of Anxiety Central don't care about it or just left not telling anyone.

Hello all, I just found out i have an account in this forum and i joined in 2014 but Anxiety Central is celebrating 6 years. I'm not a math-er kind of guy but 2014 + 6 = 2020 bot 2025..... hmmmm.... Anyway, i am back sort of. 2014 was around the time anxiety started to ruin my life. The past month or so I started looking for a mental health forum. 2 of them i had accounts in but they failed to be forums i could tap with people and just enjoy conversations, through threads. 1 i realized why i left but i still don't know why i didn't have the account closed. The other forum i made 2 posts and no responses came my way for over a week, 1 thread was similar to this thread, not even a like happened and that forum is 90% ads that are everywhere and would pop up while i tapped out a post/thread. I found Anxiety Central a few minutes ago and was told one of my email addresses had an account. A bit odd to me but hopefully i will re-remember joining this forum or a different forum that turned into this forum. I will go look at posts i made 11 years ago and see if that can help me re-remember i joined there forums.

I didn't need to fall. Forty years of dealing with this crap when is it supposed to get easy? I really hate those kinds of sayings. I am not being trained for what is to come later in life, cause if this is the training then I do not want to be here for what I am being prepared for.

Thanks for the link, in all my searches I never came across that site. There is no first or small steps. I need a job but my anxiety makes it hard to even look for jobs let alone go for an interview. Thing is there is not much I can do anymore. I can't take a job that has me dealing with people. I don't have the strength to work heavy duty jobs, I am lucky I can stand for more than an hour or so before I get really sore. Lately I have been having memory problems so even if I get training for a job I will most likely forget what I was taught. If yesterday is anything to go by. So I am pretty screwed with the job thing. If I go mental health, I just can't afford it. It also means trying to get to the doctor's office. And because this world is not equal I will have to pay full price and not be given any help. I trust osamacare as far as I can throw the idiot who came up with it. The care program works for a few groups of people, the very poor, the illegals and the rich. I join that site they will have police here arresting me for not getting a job sooner and paying into the system. Problem is to get anything done in this world you need money and a lot of it. Can't get a job until I can get help, can't get help unless I have money, it really is an endless cycle.

I am not sure exactly sure where you are going with your post.

About four months ago I lost the job I have had for nine years. I had tried a couple of times back then to get the help I need. It really didn't work, money and time were always a factor. Now I have the time being unemployed but no money. Is there anyway to get the help I need? As much as I hate to admit it, there is a small part of me that wants to get better. I have a lot of both physical and mental issues and it is just overwhelming. There is more of me that wants it all to end soon and a very tiny part of me, like a single drop in the Atlantic Ocean, that wants things to get better. It seems though that when I try to do better something ten times worse takes it away. Years ago I tried to do the healthy thing. I was working out and eating better. Nearly a year later I had problems with stamina and strength, I was also gaining weight. Frustrated I finally went to a doctor where he diagnosed me with low testosterone. I was given a prescription but could not afford it. The job I had I was finally putting money away and saving up, it wasn't much but for me it was a start. I was no longer just spending money like I would always have it. Well not long after the company closed it's doors. These are just a very minor selection of the problems I have had to deal with over the years. So how does an old, unemployed loser get the help he needs?

Ok I think that worked, nope changed the font on me. Oh well. I am using my pc I don't own all that other fancy electronics. Thank you for the welcome. I will be reading and checking out the forums over the next few days. We'll see how this all works out. EDIT: I tried to quote your post Gilly but it didn't work. Maybe it's flash or adobe giving me a problem? I'll mess with it later.

Hello all as the title says I am new here. I have been to the far reaches of the internet and back and cannot find a decent forum. The last one I joined recently was bad. We'll just say their chat room had little to desire also people not great with responding to posts. Especially when someone like myself work up enough courage to post. Like this one took me a bit to do. Also I can't seem to change the font colours or anything without them resorting back when I hit the bold is this because I am new?