PennyPanic

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PennyPanic last won the day on August 24

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  1. One thing that gives me great comfort. My mother in law is 94 she's had a lot of skin cancer...a lot lot lot...all kinds except the really bad kind. Never gave her a lick of trouble...just had them dealt with and moved on. She never even worried. She never wore sunscreen. She just didn't care. She never seemed to worry about anything ever. Her husband (my father in law) also also had skin cancer....the really bad kind and that was dealt with and he never had any other issues...he also lived well into his 90's and passed from old age.
  2. I'm in a similar situation. My derm blows it off as "just one of those things" I hate it...I hate all of it. I hate the constant fear of it. I go every six months for a skin check and more if I find something hinky in between. Sigh... Not sure I've helped other than to tell you, you're not alone. From what I've read, those can actually turn into BCC or SCC...even though most places online overwhelmingly mention only SCC (BCC is less awful). Some places say that up to 10% can "one day" turn into something sinister...other places say that transformation is rare and then spreading is even rarer. Some things I've read say that they would have to be "badly ignored" to be truly life threatening...other places or scarier saying that they ALL need to be dealt with. I've also read stories of anxiety not helping in these matters with it potentially affecting development of at least BCCs. The best thing I've done is find a good derm that I trust and go regularly and any time in between something seems bothersome. Also some of the AKs might actually be a SK seborrheic keratosis which is totally benign. My derm says there's no way to know for sure without a biopsy and the treatment is the same either way so he just removes them either way. Apparently, he deals with these things all day every day. I suspect your derm does as well. Hang in there. Keep us posted. We're all in this together.
  3. Totally happens to me as well if I'm not getting enough rest AND/OR if anxious. Since, you're both...there you go. All I can say is "I feel you." Hang in there.
  4. You are absolutely correct, Ironman. I almost think I cause myself to freak out as a coping mechanism for all the other stuff going on.
  5. So like I literally live in absolute terror of my own skin. I found a new cherry angioma (benign...I have lots of them for decades) and that freaks me out. I have a new small scratch on my knee (no clue where that came from) and that's freaking me out. It's scabbed over on my knee with little scabs. Literally no clue...though a friends cat sat on my lap for hours this weekend and their little claws could have dug in (the cat loves me and never wants to get off my lap) and/or my little dog is always scratching and stuff...or whatever. I recently went (yes again) to the derm because I found another sketchy spot...that he burned and cauterized...it's taken a while to heal, there's still a small scab left...and that's freaking me out. Any blemish, imperfection, freckle, whatever that's new is freaking me out - and since of "of a certain age" and have lived in Florida my whole life...and gotten loads of sunburns from before people ever wore sunscreen.... I completely realize that this is NOT okay and NOT normal. I can't go every week to the derm...it's not right. I'm just terrified y'all...literally terrified of separation from those that I love. Terrified. My mother-in-law is doing very poorly...she's likely to pass soon and is suffering a lot. My own mother is not doing so hot either. My husband had a freak accident a few months ago which required surgery and months of physical therapy. Thank God he's okay...but he has permanent damage from it. My dog is old. She's mostly in great health for her age (God bless her) but she has her issues and her recent checkup had me freaked out. I'm just tired y'all...tired, scared and trying to keep everyone alive including myself. Of course add to the the horror of the last few years world wide and scary news all of the time. Thanks for listening.
  6. Yeah I picked and prodded trying to assess what it is...you know, is if I would know. Good point, I may be making it worse and delaying healing. Sigh...thank you.
  7. I'm trying to think logically and not let HA ruin my life...yet, I also want to do what is prudent and right and best for my health. So I had a skin check on August 3rd. Had some sketchy stuff burned off but whatever. Meanwhile, in the last 2ish weeks I noticed some new potentially sketchy spots. Some of those spots just resolved (they were likely pimples or bug bites or who knows what). One spot persists and looks like other spots that have persisted in the past and were subsequently burned off as sketch. I mean how quickly does an actinic keratosis just come up after a skin check, you know? Like it literally wasn't there 3ish weeks ago during my skin check, but now it's here and ....well...you know. One one hand, I want to call my derm and get in to see him to have him decide what to do. On the other hand, I'm tired. Like literally, emotionally, physically, tired of looking at my skin. Yet, I still have a desire to live ... What would you do? What's the right thing to do?
  8. It is...believe me...I know it is. Going through my own struggles right now as well. Sigh... HA is a beast. For me, I was equally as freaked out about the symptom and then just sort of "gave up." I just stopped fighting it because I had literally worn myself out about it. I didn't "try" to stop it. I just plumb wore myself out. That's the only way I can explain it. I wish I could do that again now with my own fear du jour but alas. Anyhow, once I gave up...it's like the HA said "Darn, this isn't working any longer. Okay, bring on the next symptom." Meanwhile, I can also tell you this I have other family members that have complained about the same internal shaking/trembling feeling and they are all alive and well for decades...but of course, they too battle anxiety. I'm the calm one in the family. Ha ha! think about that!
  9. So 2023 has be a sh&*^tshow for me. If I told you all of the things that have happened, you'd be like "girl, how have you made it?" But made it so far, I have. Now that things have settled down a wee bit, in marches the HA with a vengeance. I was actually doing really pretty good until my last skin check...which required some freezing off of stuff. Since then, I've found 2 new "skin things" but I think they were either pimples or bug bites because they are almost gone. Of course, I'm still obsessing about them. Yesterday I found a weird red thing around my ankle. Could be a bug bite or ingrown hair from shaving my legs...but it feels flat. Although it doesn't look sinister really. Literally popped up yesterday afternoon. I know this for sure because in the morning I was looking at a darkish spot on the same leg that frankly flaked off...I think it was dirt...but I digress. Now this morning, I noticed a big ole bruise on my right forearm. No clue where that came from. I don't necessarily bruise easily...but sometimes I do. Never Google bruising, I'm just sayin. Anyhow, I'm hoping it was from taking my dog on a car ride almost a week ago. She goes bonkers and I have to hold her back from trying to get to my husband (who is driving). She always wants to sit on the driver's lap but that's not safe. I get pretty beat up in the process...so I'm hoping it's from that...but you know...HA...it freaks you out man. There's enough real crap going on in my life right now. Big crap. Scary crap. I almost wonder if the HA is a coping mechanism...but then again, I wonder if there are things I need to be worrying about that I just mentioned above. Am I stupid to just try to live my life in spite of the worries or should I be running screaming to another doctor? Today, I'm tired and I'm just going to wait and see what happens...and deal with other the sh**&t that life has thrown my way. Just venting...thanks for reading.
  10. I have absolutely had that and it has absolutely gone away...for years. For a while I was having it off and on, on the regular but when I finally just gave up it went away. I'm sure for me it was anxiety. Hang in there.
  11. Not gonna lie, I cried a lot yesterday...and that makes me a spoiled brat, weak and a negative thinker - but that was yesterday. You are 100% correct and I need to be immensely grateful. I thank you first for responding - it helps. I thank you second for confirming my own self tough talk that I had with myself this morning.
  12. Done...nothing too sinister...but sadly and of course, had sketchy stuff burned off that I hope will go away. My dream is to one day go to my derm and not have to have anything burned off. Alas...
  13. That is all...just sharing with you that I have my normal, routine, skin check tomorrow morning and I'm nervous. I go every 6 months. I don't really have any "areas of concern" this time to show him...so there's that. I hate this but I know it must be done. Thanks for listening.
  14. So early in June a big, huge, glass bowl fell on my ankle/foot in the kitchen. To be honest, I'm not completely sure how it happened...in that I didn't see it actually happen. Long story short, it fell out of an over loaded pull out kitchen drawer. The main takeaway here is: clean out your cabinets people! Anyhow, glass went everywhere, I was cut and the pain was really really really bad. The spot on my ankle where I was cut, swelled to the size of a golf ball. The next day it was half the size and so on. It was bad bad bad...the top of my foot from my ankle to my foot went numb with electric shock sensations and my ankle swelled a lot into my foot for days. Obviously, I went to the doctor. They took an xray. Nothing broken. Doc thinks I bruised a nerve and not much can be done about that but let time pass. He said to come back if it wasn't improving. So...it is improving. The bruising is 99% gone, the swelling is much much much better...really virtually gone though it's still a wee bit swollen. The shooting electrical shocks are gone...now just weird nerve sensations.. Small scab from the cut is gone. Still numbness through the foot and ankle but the sensation seems to be coming back bit by bit. I understand nerves take a while to heal. So why am I here? Well, the spot where it was cut, there's a little moveable knot. I had/have a ganglion cyst in my wrist that comes and goes. This reminds me of that. But you know...all sorts of weird horrible and creative ideas come to mind. What say you?
  15. I've had several now... they freeze it off. Scares me to pieces...but not much I can do. Apparently they are really common. I get a skin check every 6 months. My doctor is pretty dismissive about it and tells me I have great skin.