PennyPanic

Well that's good news. Glad to hear it. Hang in there!

How are you feeling? I hope the achy feeling has gone away.

So I freaked out because now I have a big rash on my thigh - like a whole line down my thigh. I called Derm #1 and they got me in right away yesterday. He offered either a steroid shot but I've had those before for my RA and it works but it's hard on the body. So I asked him if it would be okay to just continue with the steroid cream and he said that would be fine but to call him if it gets too uncomfortable and I can come in for the shot. Now I have a follow up in a month. This morning, the rash is angry and everywhere. Derm #1 seems to feel that the breast issue is the same...that it's all some mystery rash. I'm prone to red spots, yes. But I've never ever had a rash like this let alone a full body rash. I just want peace. I want this done. I asked him if it was eczema...he said it's some form of eczema. He also said it looks like hives...but I wonder because I always thought hives were raised. Some areas are raised...some minor areas but not all. I asked him if it would kill me, if it was cutaneous lymphoma...he said to put that totally out of my mind. I have to trust somebody...so I need to trust him. Perhaps I should have just let him give the steroid shot. Anyhow, I'm pretty scared but just trying to remain calm as freaking out (further) is not liable to help my situation. This has certain been something.

Well, the plot thickens.... Now I have rashes on one ankle, both tops of feet, inside of both wrists and inside of one elbow. Seeing derm#1 again next week for a follow up. I called this morning, he said to continue to use the cream and use it in the new areas. What in the actual what....sigh....

Hi Holls! Long time no see...good for you on that. I'm glad you've been doing well. Deaths in the family can certainly cause all sorts of anxiety...and puppies, while so so so cute, are a lot of work. Sounds to me as if it's some kind of muscle pull or even tight muscles due to the stress of the deaths and new furry family members. I bet you were picking up those puppies and perhaps one weird move and you caused yourself some kind of pulled or cramped muscle. I don't think an xray would show muscle strain. Perhaps a massage? Perhaps some exercise to work out any muscle strains? Perhaps ask you doctor about those to see what she says? Anyhow, hang in there. Keep us posted.

Thank you for checking on me BeautifulDisaster. Still improving. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 was where it was when I saw him, I'd say I'm at about a 2.5(ish)...so significant improvement...still there but significant improvement. The area that Derm #3 had biopsied on my hip is completely gone but that went away by itself...I think it was a textile allergy...I had purchased "el cheapo" underwear and I think they were killing me. I also stopped using dryer sheets and am using dryer balls (non-wool, vegan dryer balls)...just in case. I had a reddish area on my thigh that came up...but that could legit be a bruise...I don't know if it's related...it's almost gone. I have a reddish area on my wrist..but I haven't put steriod on it as I wash my hands constantly and I don't know how to do that with washing my hands throughout the day. Also I'm so fair skinned that any little mark looks red on me so it might be nothing at all. Anyhow, the main area of concern is on the breast and that is far far far improved. I have a follow up in a few weeks with derm #1 to see how things are progressing. I don't know if it will be gone by then, but I sure do hope so. I'll call him this week though because I've always heard you can only use steroid creams for 2 weeks at a time...and Thursday will be 2 weeks. So if it's not resolved, I'm not sure if I should continue until I see him or not. Mentally I do feel better but since I have HA, the words of derm #2 telling me that it could be something really bad even if the biopsy is negative keeps playing through my head. Derm #3 told me that "something really bad" is off the table with the biopsy results as far as he was concerned. Derm #1 told me that Derm #2's comment was ridiculous...and then why would anyone run any test at all ever. So that makes me feel better...but being the HA person that I am....well...anyway, I'm trying to not let my mind go to a scary place because I have to relax and calm down. My own anxiety could be playing into this. BeautifulDisaster, thank you for caring...truly.

I get your worry because I too worry just like you do. I also find it difficult to trust doctors. Here are some positive things to keep in mind: 1. Your xrays and bloodwork were all good. That's very reassuring. 2. Great Dane's are epically good and wonderful dogs, but also large and powerful (they don't know their own strength!). I would think that maybe you were bruised or pulled a muscle or something. I mean those dogs are huge and not just huge...very strong on top of their size. I feel for you because I know what it's like to be in such a spiral state and also not having some kind of definitive answer is terrible, especially for someone with HA. Hang in there and keep us posted. We all care around here.

Update: So I had derm #3 send my records to my regular derm...derm #1. Derm #1 asked me to come in. He looked me over and reviewed the biopsy report plus total skin check. He reassured me that this was not going to kill me. He concurred with derm #3 that it could be any number of inflammatory conditions but instead of saying "just wait" he prescribed a steroid cream and oral steroids with a follow up in a few weeks. So far in less than a week the area is much much much lighter. Still there...mind you...still red...but much lighter. I've had eczema before...very mild. So has my mother. This doesn't look like that but it's also in a different part of the body so who knows. Overall, the fact that it is lightening and lightening in a way that I can see it for myself makes me feel better. I pray that it goes completely away and never comes back. Derm #1 did say that the biopsies were "overkill" and that he never would have done them. He said he was sorry that derm #2 scared me needlessly...so that made me feel better as well. I told him, I never would have gone elsewhere but he was out of the country on vacation. So I'm actually following doctor's orders and continuing to hope this just becomes a distant memory soon.

Honestly, I'm so over all of this and mentally exhausted. At this point, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Unfortunately I think it's new because (1) my husband noticed it a few days after the mammo and (2) the pink area grew a bit ...like a bruise would grow...after the first time I saw it. Something felt weird, pokey, at the gym. I thought it was a new sports bra digging in...about 2 weeks after the mammo. That's what prompted me to look. When I showed my husband he said "Oh you've had that few a while now...it's a bruise from the mammo." Sigh....

It is going to be hard not to look at it but I think I need to do just that. It's possible that my looking at it over and over again is actually delaying healing. I have to contort myself to see it...while the area is large it's not something readily seen so the breast tissue is being pulled over and over again (many times throughout the day)...because... you know...HA. That may also be why a stitched popped. I mean, I have to admit that. BeautifulDisaster, you are the voice of reason and you've really really really helped me more than I could ever convey. Know you are in my prayers daily as it's the least I can do for you to repay all that you've done for me. Just really thank you.

Thank you so much for worrying about me. I had to have my stitches removed a bit early because one of them popped and the wound was getting infected. After more cream and oral antibiotics, it's finally healing, I think. The doctor still doesn't know what it is but pretty much dismissed me saying "you don't need to come back." I had an appt for July 2nd...but he said it's not necessary and that it will just take time to fade. Honestly, I think he's tired of me...this is why I stopped going to see him before because he just doesn't like patients that advocate for themselves. When I saw pus at the wound, I asked to be seen. When the pus didn't go away, I asked for antibiotics. That all seems reasonable to me....but he's difficult. No matter, I had the biopsies and I had the answers...which is somewhat of a non-answer but at least we know (we hope) what it's not. It's not worse. The punch biopsy wounds are healing...so there's that. What it is still remains a complete mystery. To me it still looks the same. While I have calmed down, I can't say that I'm okay with it...but to be honest I have no idea where to go from here. Again, I thank you BeautifulDisaster for all you have done for you. You have no idea how much you've blessed me.

That's a very interesting question, Ironman. I would have to say that if this is a test, I have failed it miserably. I would say that the good things I've done is to go to the doctor(s) and advocate for myself and some kind of resolution. However, though I'm not in the state that I was in a week(ish) ago when I was waiting on the biopsy results, I can't say that I'm anywhere near comfort or acceptance...that's just the truth. I suppose it's the not knowing what it is and why it is that causes me to doubt everyone and everything including myself. I know that the body is a very complex thing and even the best of doctors don't have the answers - and that doesn't make me feel any better. I know that my own mother had a rash that lasted for months when she was around my age (hers was different, but still) that never was diagnosed, even after repeated tests, and it spontaneously went away never to return...and that's now been almost 40 years. The only "good" that has come of this is I feel like I've drawn closer to God and am more appreciative of what really matters in life - so there's that. If something comes up again like this how would I handle it? I think I'd freak out all over again. I'm not proud of what I just wrote above...I've not handled this well at all...not at all. I guess I don't know how to get from "here" to "there" and I don't know what "there" should look like because it legitimately feels as if I should have freaked out under the circumstances. Edit as I've given this more thought: My husband has had an itchy rash off and on for going on 2 years now (at least) It comes and goes. It looks terrible. He refuses to go to the doctor about it. He's happy as a clam. So who is smarter? Perhaps he is. I suspect, though, that a prudent, yet not anxious person, would not take either extreme (his or mine). They'd probably get checked out, calmly and then if they were told it's okay, they'd believe the doctor and go on about their life.

So I had my stitches out today as I had popped a stitch anyway and the doctor went over everything again. He reassured me that this was not going to kill me. He went over every scary thing that they tested for ...some things I didn't even know about...everything was good...nothing bad. That's not to say that anyone knows what it is per se. He did say that he thinks it's about 50% better than when he saw it last time. To me it looks exactly the same. Anyhow, he said I'm supposed to see him again in 3 weeks to monitor how it's fading and make sure that it continues to fade. He continued to say that his prediction is that "something" caused this but we may never know what or why and that it will go away eventually. He's certainly being very nice and very cautious. Getting the stitches out was no joke but I'm glad we're at this point. I'll make sure to note the progress here for all of us and for some desperate person in the future with something similar looking for reassurance, ideas, etc... Thank you in particular to BeautifulDisaster and Ironman who have stood by me like the champions that they are.

Not gonna lie...I wish it would just go away already. Sigh...but I'm trying to be logical. I must agree...I don't know of any other test that could be run...so...you know. I have to just wait. Thank you, BeautifulDisaster, for all you've done for me!