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About DefinitelyDeadThisTime

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  1. I burp constantly. This weird throat burp that ratttles and tumbles its way up from my chest. I’ve basically spit acid for days at a time. I legit had an endoscopy because every time I puke I spit blood afterwards. Sometimes for a good five or ten minutes. Endoscopy came back completely clear. Not so much as an ulcer. Get the reflux treated. You’ll be fine.
  2. Hey. I’ve been exactly where you are. The locus of my anxiety has since moved on to my heart, but I can assure you that for about a year I had all the exact same symptoms and fears you are having. I didn’t have colon cancer. You probably don’t either. Anxiety does all of the things you’re worried about. And more. I know it’s hard. I wish you well.
  3. I get that all the time. I’ve got it right now. If I went to the ER for it, it would be the third time this year. Another four thousand bucks to be told I’m fine. You’re probably going to be okay. Let us know.
  4. I’ve tried hard to stay away. But lately I’ve been troubled. My left arm and shoulder are often in pain. That’s definitely heart disease. My throat is often sore and I have bad reflux. I’ve surely got throat cancer now. I get chest flutters, and I can feel my heart beating often. That’s some kind of heart disease. Actually, the pain in my shoulder is lung cancer. Also I run out of breath easily. My blood pressure goes between 128/80 to 137/89. That’s heart disease, too. I’ve been to the ER three times this year. Had chest photos, nothing was found. Had ECG, ultrasound on my neck vessel thing, whatever that is, stress tests, all normal. I know I just have a few numbers that are slightly out of wack but not terrible. I know this. But every time my chest flutters, every time my arm hurts... it’s something they missed. Two ER docs, a cardiologist and my GP, they all missed it. Reality check, anyone?
  5. I’m on 10mg daily generic Lexapro. It kinda works. Like, I can function. But I also have obsessive thoughts about heart disease on the regular. I don’t really have intense panic attacks anymore, but I’m never 100%. Hard to explain.
  6. I know exactly how you feel. I used to worry about the Big C, now it’s heart disease. Heart disease is way worse to worry about. I wish I could go back to the other thing.
  7. I hear you there. I'm learning to not react to every feeling and assume it's a "symptom". I'm going to go to my cardio one last time, talk about what I've felt, ask him specific, pointed questions about my meds, and then if he says I'm fine and should follow up in a year, I'll just do that. I'll seek the help of a therapist and move on to curing what's really bothering me: health anxiety.
  8. Thanks guys. Still not dead. Scheduled a follow up with my cardiologist. It’s next Friday. That’s not too far off. Should be fine until then. Just going to talk about what I’m feeling. I’m also going to find a therapist. I think that’s probably more important at this point. I appreciate all y’all’s help.
  9. Hey! So my major health fear used to be colon cancer. I had all the same feelings you had. Especially incomplete emptying and a feeling like you always had to go. Along with mucous. That gross gross butt mucous. Eventually the fear just... went away. Along with the feelings. I haven’t worried about colon cancer since. Now I'm in constant terror of heart disease. The thing is, I saw a GI for awhile. Nothing he told me mattered. Nothing the doctors say matters (unless they actually tell you you have something) because reassurance can’t come from outside. It has to come from inside. Now if only I could make that thinking work for my “heart disease”. Good luck man. You probably definitley undoubtedly don’t have colon cancer. But you “know” that (for some definitions of know)
  10. I ended up not going. But I’ve had chest pain and a weird pressure feeling in my head all day. My limbs feel weak and I’m tired. Yawning a lot. I’m so miserable. I just know I’ve got undiagnosed heart disease or something. I can’t function. I’m taking my son over to my mom’s house tonight and as soon as I get there I’m going to the hospital. This has to stop.
  11. I’m typing this with my three year old son sleeping peacefully next to me. My chest hurts a lot. I’m convinced I’m either having or am about to have a heart attack. I don’t know what to do. Somebody please help. I need advice.
  12. This is an incredible story and you’re a great writing talent. Thank you for sharing.
  13. I get all the same pains you do and have the same heart disease fears. I’ve had more tests than you, though, and I’m about ten years older. I guarantee you i took worse care of myself in my twenties than you are taking of yourself now. (Unless you’ve got a heroin or coke habit, I can’t beat that) so I dont know how else to say it. Either we’re both dying of undiagnosed heart disease, or neither of us is. My chest hurts right now. Has most of the day. Shooting pains in my left arm and left leg. Fatigue. I dunno. I’m pretty tired of this. I’m sure you are too. I suspect we both have many many years of life left to live and should probably get a grip on this so we can have some fun in life.
  14. I’ve got family history, but heart disease tends to kill us in our late 80’s or early 90’s. Which is basically “something is going to kill you, may as well be this” territory. We’re typically a long lived bunch. I mean, I had a grandmother who died in her sixties, but she was an alcoholic bitch who smoked like a chimney (no seriously she was super mean). She kicked off with a heart attack, but you cannot abuse your heart and soul like that and live a long life. Frankly, I know what’s wrong with me. In the past two months I’ve moved out of my house, been divorced from my wife (not contentious - she’s a fine person we just don’t want to be married - even so, still super stressful), worked sixty hour weeks and travelled to three foreign countries on business. And I'm still not up to a pack a day. Not bad. Chest pain and arm pain and leg pain and panic attacks and googling and all those bad habits are to be expected. I’m afraid to die though. I have a three year old who i love and want to see grow up. I have aging parents I want to be able to help as they get into their seventies and eighties. I just don’t know how to cope with this fear that I have undiagnosed heart disease despite multiple recent tests. I’m probably technically in the best health I’ve been in in the last five years (dropped twenty pounds) but I feel worse than ever. I need to find a way to start exercising and stop being so afraid that the slightest bit of exercise will kill me or this will never get better. This is not like the panic attack that started this bout of fear in October. This is the hypochondria from a few years ago that convinced me I had colon cancer or lung cancer. I get both panic and hypochondria, they take turns kicking my butt. Actually, the panic usually kicks off the hypochondria. I have a massive panic attack, and then months or years of hypochondria. And then things calm down for awhile. Then something happens again. I cycle lower every time. I need to break this chain and start getting better, because this is not a fun way to live. Tl,dr: I’m a mess.
  15. Hey guys, not really sure what I’m looking for here. I guess just to talk about what I’m worried about. For the last few weeks I’ve fatigued easy. I was out of town the last week and doing a lot of walking and every time I did I just felt so tired. I’ve been getting headaches, intermittent pain in the chest, left arm and left leg. Sometimes pain in my neck. Basically the whole time I was out on business I was stressed out and convinced I had a heart condition. This is despite passing a stress test a couple months ago, and normal results in multiple ECGs. Which would normally make me feel better. Except of course for the internet. The internet likes to tell lots of stories about guys roughly my age (37) having cardiac events in atypical ways. Like feeling really tired or having limb pain. So of course now I’m convinced I can expect a heart attack any day now. Despite all the tests I’ve had I’m sure they missed my clogged arteries and I’ll be sitting at home alone and I’ll suffer a heart attack and nobody will be around to help me and that’ll be all she wrote. This sucks. I’m not that overweight (doesn’t matter, plenty of guys who are in shape still suffer heart attacks) I smoke but not too much (probably still enough to kill me) I don’t really exercise (another risk factor) and I eat too much salt. I dunno guys. My blood pressure isn’t great. I’m pretty sure it’s just a matter of time.