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About Weezie

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    Science, medicine, animals, calligraphy, writing, analyzing the motivations behind human behavior especially pathological behavior. Being a total geek/nerd.

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  1. Regyna....hello...I'm Weezie. I'm sorry you're having all these issues that are making you have panic attacks. I know that when my dizziness first started many years ago, it turned out to be the crystals in my inner ear having migrated to the wrong place so that any head movements gave me vertigo. With vertigo came horrible nausea. What is happening to you is that you are experiencing new physical symptoms and you are allowing the anxiety to catastrophize the possible causes. The possible causes of your issues are so numerous and varied, that really only a medical evaluation can properly sort them out. You may be having blood sugar issues or it could be problems with your inner ear as already stated in my case. Instead of trying to guess what's going on with you, the best thing is to see a medical professional. I know that nobody wants to do this because they are afraid that the doctor might confirm their worst fears. It is quite likely that this is something much more minor than the worst case scenario you have created for your anxiety and fear to grow off of. If these symptoms don't abate, please do go see a doctor rather than sitting up all night worrying. It's far better to consult a doctor, than to suffer in fear in this terrible way. I sincerely hope that you are feeling better soon. Weezie
  2. Weezie


    Hello Gypsy. I am Weezie. I am sorry to hear that such a moving experience as a spiritual emergence, which generally is associated with tremendous inner growth and new spiritual perspectives, is causing you so much distress (but without you having completely defined what you mean by a 'spiritual emergence', my comments and suggestions are based upon assumptions, so if I get it wrong, I apologize in advance). However, sometimes things that ultimately result in internal change can be frightening. New territory brings with it a feeling of unsureness and anxiety. Since you are presenting as a highly spiritual being, then this same spirituality will be one of your greatest potential sources of support. Terror is an extremely unpleasant state of mind, and could very well hinder your progress in evolving to the new level that you appear to be moving toward. If it were me I would try to just let go of the fear, attempt to put trust in myself, and place my faith in the powers that be. Help exists within you. There are also many techniques that will assist you in getting through the more intense times of terror, including such things as mindful meditation, where the mind is kept focused on the breath during short 15 to 20 minute sessions. I know many people, including myself, who have cut short major panic attacks using this technique without having to resort to medication. You will find many others here who can relate to what you are going through, and who will be able to provide you with more support and suggestions to assist you through this dark time. Warmest wishes. Weezie
  3. If you've done well in school in the past, there is no reason for you to believe that you are suddenly going to start failing. I used to feel that way, and I got tired of the mindset, so I tried to look at school from a different angle. I approached the whole thing more as a competition with myself and being the best I could be for me. I got into it in a way that I actually felt satisfaction and joy about my work, and also felt tremendous accomplishment for myself when I surmounted an intellectual obstacle. Fear of failure is very common among students, but please don't let it destroy your education and your future by quitting. Just go to school and honestly try to get off on the work. Sound crazy? Maybe...but if you can make yourself love information, love learning something new, and just love learning for the sake of learning, then you can let go of the anxiety and start to truly let your mind blossom. Yes, it's hard work, we all dislike that part of it, but don't let the fact that this takes effort turn into FEAR. It doesn't have to go down that road. If it were me I would just tell myself that I am simply going to push ahead, do my best, enjoy what I'm doing, and forget about the fear the best way I can. By staying in school, you will already be miles ahead of those who aren't in school - you are already way ahead at being a winner. If the anxiety gets to be too much, there are people on campus you can talk to, there are meditation techniques that you can learn to calm the anxiety and eradicate it, and if it gets really out of hand, get medical advice. I suspect, however, that once you actually get into it, that your anxiety will decrease - the anxiety of anticipation is often the worst of all. So, just go to school and do your thing, and try to give yourself enough breaks and perks here and there that you don't feel totally overwhelmed. Best wishes and best of luck with your studies. Weezie.
  4. Your anxiety about not being able to sleep or about having a bad night's sleep, is starting to become a vicious cycle. The less you sleep, the more you worry, and the more you worry, the less you sleep. Since this is a fairly new problem for you, you should be able to break this pattern fairly quickly. Just remember - lack of sleep is not lethal in the sense that it can directly kill you. There are many good suggestions regarding good sleep hygiene that can help you out at this time. This involves no heavy/spicy meals close to bedtime, no alcohol in the evening especially close to bedtime, no iPad or computer or TV in the bedroom, and of course make sure that everything is as quiet and comfortable as possible for you in the bedroom. If you can't get to sleep after 20 to 30 minutes, get out of bed and go do something in another part of the dwelling. So, go write, read a book, wash some laundry - when you start feeling tired again, then try going back to bed. It is important to not stay in bed tossing and turning and watching the clock. Eventually, this will start to give you actual anxiety about being in bed. This is why it is important to get out of bed when you can't sleep. Normally transient insomnia of this type is self-limiting, which means that it will right itself in a matter of weeks. If it does not, then it may be time to consult your doctor. He may make suggestions such as taking melatonin, tryptophan, or he may even give you some very short term sleep medication. The sleep medication has to be used very carefully or you will become dependent on it to sleep quite quickly. As I pointed out, the doctor may instruct you to use more natural sleep products. There are also special meditations that will help calm your mind before sleep. All of this information on insomnia and ways to overcome it can be found on the Internet. Please remember that anxiety just tends to breed more anxiety, so if you can break this cycle, your sleep should return to normal. And obviously you need to eat lighter meals late at night as this is what started the whole problem in the first place. Take care. I hope you sleep well soon. Weezie.
  5. Hello LovingLawliet: Death anxiety is an extremely common issue for many people, especially those who have health anxiety. It is at the root of most anxieties. I have struggled with it many times over the years, and it seems to come and go in waves for me. My previous profession required that I was expected to risk my life every single day at work. It became something I didn't even notice anymore, until AFTER I retired. Then the old fear of death fears that I learned during my childhood began to arise again. How do I deal with this? First I recognize that in scripture it is written that worrying will not add one minute to one's life. This is how I make myself become a little calmer and try to find ways to cope. In order to cope even further, I use my faith. In the end, our faith, for many of us, is the one thing we have that we can depend on to help us through these tough questions. I am slowly learning to try and live day to day, sometimes minute to minute. I tell myself that right at this moment, I am okay...that right now I am not dying, and I simply try to do something that pulls my mind out of itself - whether it be work around the house, caring for others, or just helping people on this website. I am slowly getting better at it, and I am grateful that I have found some periods of respite from this horrible fear. Ultimately, I believe that it is my spiritual beliefs that help me the most. I hope you are able to slowly eliminate this fear from your life. It is hard to do, but once you refocus your mind and trust in your spiritual path, it can be accomplished - it certainly can become a lot better for you. My best wishes for your well-being. I hope that your mind finds peace from this terrible fear. Weezie.
  6. I've suffered from varying degrees of depression since a child, so I emphathize. The reason your doctor is trying to get you to move is that the latest studies show that mild exercise, such as daily walking, is more effective than anti-depressant medication. My last psychiatrist, retired now, but a very wise man, pushed me to get off all of my medications, to start some mild exercise, and to take an online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course. After decades of drugs, I was weaned off of all my daily psychotropic medications, followed his instructions, and I have been drug-free for almost 10 years. Sure, I still get bouts of depression, sometimes bad enough that I feel like I can't get up off the couch, but then I just take those baby steps - maybe walk to the end of the drive and back, or go on my treadmill for a few minutes. Soon, the movement becomes more consistent, and I begin to feel better far faster than I ever did when taking medications. This has been my experience with this. I hope that you can find something that works equally well for you. I know how dark, abysmal, and hopeless depression feels, and especially how it physically takes away every ounce of our energy. Perhaps a few baby steps every other day may help you on your way in the manner that it helped me. Best of luck, and take special care of yourself. Weezie
  7. During my worst anxiety episodes I generally wake up very, very early and that is the end of the night for me. I once read somewhere that our Cortisol levels fluctuate throughout the day. If Cortisol levels are highest in the morning, we will be more prone to feeling nervous, jittery, etcetera.
  8. It is unpredictable how any individual is going to react to alcohol consumption based upon existing medical and psychological conditions plus the type of medications they are on. Not knowing your medical or psychiatric history or your meds, makes it very difficult to respond intelligently to your post. I can only say that I hope that if the chest pain didn't subside that you sought medical attention. True, anxiety and panic can cause chest pain, but as you pointed out the klonopin didn't work, for whatever reason. By the time I write this, days will have passed, and I hope that you are doing much better. As far as alcohol is concerned, it does tend to lower our inhibitions, and also makes many of us more vulnerable to anxiety/panic if we are prone to these problems - perhaps not right away, but more when it starts to wear off (at least this has been my experience). For this reason, I drink very little, only with meals, and in extremely restricted moderation. I just find it isn't worth it to me to have myself destabilized psychologically. I hope that you are doing much better. Weezie.
  9. Those of us who are vulnerable to panic attack seem to have a lower tolerance for any sort of extra stress. You have some major things going on in your life - moving to a new state, getting a new job, having to buy a new home. Any one of these events is extremely stressful at the best of times, so it's no wonder you are reacting the way you are. Hopefully (and likely), once you've settled into your new home and job, things will quiet down for you on the anxiety scale and the panic attacks should most definitely subside. This is one of those situations where the sooner you get these major life events out of the way, the sooner you will feel better. If it were me, and I felt that I just couldn't cope, I would see my doctor for some short-term, very temporary medication for occasional use only. Otherwise, you seem to be handling this well in that you seem to understand what is happening to you. Obviously you've had a lot of experience with your own anxiety and panic, and likely you will know best how to handle it. I hope things settle down for you soon. My best wishes, and congratulations on the new job. Weezie.
  10. My first panic attack was at 11 years old. I thought I was dying...totally convinced. The entire world turned to grey and I lived in constant terror of dying any second. Why? Because I had been convinced that I had ingested some rare poison and that any day it was going to eat through my guts and kill me. I told no one. I lived in terror and fear and it totally destroyed my childhood. PLEASE do not let this happen to you. As previously stated, headaches are very common to anxiety. Also, if there is a history of migraine in your family, it generally manifests in males for the first time around 15 to 16 years of age. I've had migraines since I was 15 years old and some of your symptoms may well be related... you will certainly find out in time...if you ever do develop a real migraine, there will be no mistaking it. But realize this, migraines are not deadly, just really painful, and honestly, I think that your stress and anxiety is what is driving the pain in your head right now. I empathize completely with the fear you are going through. I've been there and it is horrible. But, as also previously stated in another reply, you are not the first person to feel this way, and please do not think that no one understands what you are going through . . . those of us who have experienced what you are going through know very well what it is like. First and foremost . . please quit trying to self-diagnose everything that is happening to you. At Google, just about every road leads to c****r. Please don't do this to yourself. If you allow yourself to establish a pattern of fear and anxiety at this age, it could stay with you for the rest of your life. Once you get over the brain tumour scare, there will always be something new on the horizon to take its place in your anxiety. Tell your parents you may need psychological help. Try to find a way to see a mental health professional that specializes in anxiety. Believe me, living out your entire life being in a state of anxiety about this or that is no way to live. If I had to do it over again, I would have told my parents about it all, gotten the right help, and I would not have had to spend (waste) my life living in perpetual fear. You at least still have a chance to stop this from happening to you. Having said all of this, please do not hesitate to reach out to us on this site if you are afraid. Living with this in silence is horrible. If you can't talk to anyone in the real world, at least you can come here and express what is happening to you. We all realize that this is very serious and that you are terrified. We understand how horrible it is, and we want you to feel comfortable reaching out to us. But also, try to take the advice that has been given to you. These are the voices of many years of experience. No one here wants you to go through what we have been through. Take care and keep in touch. I hope you feel better soon and find a way to put a stop to this terrible fear you are experiencing. (Remember - mental health care professional)). SIncerest best wishes . . . Weezie
  11. Hi bOOts. I'm Weezie. What you are describing regarding waking up with your heart pounding is very familiar territory to me. I've had this happen so many times to me that I have lost count. Sometimes I wake up because I am having a full-out panic attack. This is all because of anxiety. Anxiety is a very nasty little monster that does all manner of horrible things to us and scares us out of our wits especially when it prompts our imaginations to run away with us. If you have been checked out by a doctor and he/she has reassured you that no heart problems or other physical issues are involved, you can pretty much be sure that this is indeed anxiety. The way you are describing your symptoms is pretty much classic and is almost precisely what I experience. Knowing this may help quell your attacks a little, or at least make them less scary when they do occur. There are many techniques that you can teach yourself to settle yourself down and ground yourself when it does happen, and these can be learned from the many excellent resources that exist in the form of reputable books. I have discovered that a vital good first step for me was to consult a mental health care professional to find out if there was specifically anything psychological triggering these episodes. This person was then able to direct me to the best resources and techniques to help me handle my anxiety in a way tailored to my situation, personality, and needs. I highly recommend seeing a mental health professional initially to get pointed in the right direction. I, myself, have developed my own strategies for dealing with the night time panic attacks. I generally get out of bed, and then go and do something that takes my mind off of my mind. This involves a variety of things such as watching TV, writing in my journal, cleaning something, writing emails to trusted friends, prayer, coming on a website to help others with their issues, and even practicing a technique called mindful meditation which I have found very helpful. All of these things help me to focus my attention outside of my mind and away from my anxiety, and I have to say they are all effective for me to varying degrees. When all else fails and if the attacks keep going on by occurring back-to-back, my last resort is medication specifically prescribed to me for occasional use for my panic attacks. The medication is extremely addictive and I have to be careful to use it only occasionally as an absolute last resort. By consulting a mental health care professional you have the advantage of accessing various resources that may be useful to you in both the short and the long term, such as medication, plus many other forms of support. Take special care and never be hesitant to reach out for help. Reaching out is a vital step in resolving issues and finding ways to feel better about what we are going through. We are all here to assist each other and as such, are all welcome. Do not be sorry that you reached out and please do not feel that anyone is tired of you. Everyone here has a personal need for support or to have questions answered. You have just as much legitimate cause to be here as many times as you need as anyone else on this site. It's all good! Best wishes and I sincerely hope you feel better soon. Weezie.
  12. Thank you jonathan123 for your kind and understanding response. I certainly feel better now that you have explained that this happens and is not really anyone's 'fault'. I very much appreciate your reply. Best wishes....Weezie
  13. Hi soccerplayer, Your last response that you hope things will get better once you are in college is concerning in that it gives the impression that you are going to put things off until a future date with the hope that the situation will improve. Most of the time, if left unchecked and untreated, anxiety and compulsive issues tend to escalate. College represents greater responsibilities and more pressure, so it is important that you have learned some solid coping techniques and gotten some professional advice before you get into more stressful periods of your life. You have done a wonderful proactive thing by joining this site to learn more about your issues - it is a great start. You should be congratulated for making this positive move for yourself - it is a thoughtful, mature, and intelligent thing to do. Best wishes to you and I hope that you begin feeling better soon. Weezie
  14. Hi Kerry. I'm Weezie. I have anxiety issues and every time I get an infection of any sort I end up getting panic attacks, worse at night of course. When I get infections, my heart rate goes up and I also get palpitations, so then this kind of freaks me out even though I know what's happening. It's kind of a chain reaction, but it revolves around anxiety. I was struck by how similar your experience is, so I thought I'd write to let you know you're not the only one this happens to. I could go into the detailed physiological response issues for why accelerated heart rates relate to anxiety, but I'll spare you the boring science lecture. Just know that this happens to other people, and that it is always important to have any potential infections checked out by a doctor. Palpitations that are persistent with no definable cause should also be reported to a health professional, if anything for your own peace of mind. Oddly enough, this whole scenario happened to me just last week and I am on antibiotics right now and doing much better both physically and psychologically. I hope this makes you feel better.
  15. OMG...did that dippy doc ever give you a terrible and totally unnecessary scare. How awful!!!! When I was 11 years old a cruel individual persistently convinced me that I had been poisoned and would die any day or minute. I lived in silent suffering and horrendous fear 24 hours a day for over a year. I stopped playing and smiling - the world became a very grey, bleak place. Nights were the worst and I suffered horrible anxiety attacks. It is a severely lonely experience to face living with your own death, especially when so young. I never really was the same after that incident. It left me with many health anxieties that I have to fight all the time. I think I do understand a bit about what you are going through, and I know that it is terrible and that no one can truly comfort you when fear is washing over you. Every little physical symptom becomes a disaster, and leads to anxiety and panic. It is truly a horrible, dark, and extremely lonely place to be. Knowing that you are going to be okay should be a great relief to you. You have a whole wonderful future ahead of you and you deserve to enjoy your recent success. Try to find ways to relax and create healthy distractions. Get help from a psychologist to teach you how to ground yourself and overcome the anxiety. There are also short term medications that you can take on an as-needed basis to get you through the more severe panic attacks (please use in extreme moderation). The sooner you seek psychological help and start working on battling the residual effects of this terribly traumatic experience, the more likely you are to get your life back to normal and start feeling better. There are ways and means to get yourself back to feeling normal, and to put your life back on track. It may be hard to believe right now, but you can once again live in a world of color, hope, and one that is anxiety free. Seeking support here is a positive step. Sometimes just letting others know what is happening helps so much. Here, you will find many people like me who actually DO understand what you are struggling with, and having others understand is priceless. One of the things that I do to help myself when going through a spate of severe anxiety, is to help other people try and cope with theirs. Strange as it may sound, it really does work since it forces you to focus on something OUTSIDE of your own mind. There are so many resources out there in terms of books, workbooks, etcetera, but getting professional help is probably the best thing for you right now. I wish like heck that when I was 11 years old that I had been given access to professional help. It would have made a huge difference in learning to control my anxiety earlier on, and would have saved me SO much awful suffering. Everyday help is always just a click away on this website, so you are never really alone in this. Use your local community hotline as needed when you're by yourself and experiencing severe panic. A sympathetic human voice can be extremely comforting. Just get help and this will get better. Take very special care and remember that we are always here for you. Weezie