LovingLawliet

I can't take it anymore. I go absolutely hysterical whenever i just think about just not existing. Can you imagine having no thoughts, no soul, no personality, just being surrounded by a never ending blackness. You wouldn't even know it though because you'd be nothing, wouldn't you? And if there is something beyond death, if there is a heaven and a hell, then how do i know if i will be burning or be in peace? How do i know which religion is true? I was raised muslim and still am, but the sheikh just tells me to accept it, but oh God i don't want to die. I don't want any of my family to die. The fear just seeps into the deepest parts of me and takes over my entire being. Everyone says it'll be terrible to have immortality, but i will do anything for it for me and my family. I don't know whether to be more afraid of oblivion or burning in the deepest parts of hell. I can't sleep or do anything without being drugged into a lullaby with how much of these thoughts are running through my head. Through all of my being, i can say that i am suffering. I am Palestinian and have experienced the trauma of the war, but even with all of that, this issue to me is much worse. Everyone dies no matter what, but i can't accept that. I can't just accept the fact that it's normal. Please, what do i do to make this stop. How do i know what is true? Please help.