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About Cassandra

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    kendo. photography. art. glass. music. cats big and small.

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  1. I'm taking my imaginary Kylie with me for my drive today. In fact I'm just gonna fill my car with all you inspirational people. I may just make it to the ferry after all.
  2. Well, I'm going whether I feel up to it or not. Ferry is booked and paid for, plus I can't miss dad's birthday. So no real choice in the matter. Doesn't make it easier though. I'm hoping the first part will go well, then I'll be confident enough for the second.
  3. Mark, got 5 minutes to spare in AC? And yes, I know I'm predicting the worst, but I've been so damn anxious this last week this trip has gone from a little nervous to "i don't want to go".
  4. I hope you're right. I'm driving myself bananas here. And I'm supposed to be focused on packing. Partly done now.
  5. I'm feeling sick at the thought Early night tonight, so at least I'll have had plenty of sleep. Best I can do, I think.
  6. Thanks Joy Just the person, actually, any tips on stopping reflux getting worse while driving? Because driving = increased reflux = chest-pain = heart attack panic. Pushing away the "oh i'm having a heart attack" thought isn't all that easy. I do have a bottle of gaviscon ready in the car, hoping that will help a little.
  7. So tomorrow I need to make a 5 hour drive, with a 6 hour drive the next day. I'm visiting my family and celebrating my father's birthday. My anxiety has been all over the place these last few weeks, and I'm tying myself in knots worrying about driving. I love driving. But have never really had to drive while anxious. I'm having intrusive thoughts of getting dizzy and crashing the car, panicking and having a heart attack, being mugged (a lot of that going around lately, apparently), and basically being unable to complete the journey, and ending up just turning around and coming home. I've considered cancelling the trip but it isn't really one I can back out of. My whole left side feels as if i've been lifting way more than I should, and I STILL haven't started packing. I have a dozen separate emails and messages from family members reminding me to bring over certain things, gifts in various parts of my house that really should be wrapped and ready by now, and a ridiculously difficult diet that I'll need to take supplies over for. Utter chaos, and I don't know where to start. On a more positive note, I adore my new therapist. Challenging and difficult (the questions, not the therapist), and making my brain think instead of panic like a headless chicken. It has really made me realise that the last one I dealt with was,..., well,..., just really not anywhere near good enough. So if you don't get on with your therapist, switch. And keep switching until you find one you are happy with, one you are confident with. It will make all the difference. There is hope. Alfred Pennyworth: Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.
  8. I second the massage suggestion. I go once a week to try and keep my shoulder at an acceptable level. You don't realise how tense your muscles get until someone starts poking them You'll feel amazing afterwards. Follow up with an epsom salts bath and you'll sleep like a baby. Drink lots of water. Aside from tension, dehydration is the most common cause of headaches.
  9. I think the same can be said for keeping stuff in, bottling it up. Release is needed, however repetitive complaining about the same things without taking action to fix them is detrimental.
  10. With photography people think they pay for the actual printed photos. What they arepaying for is your expertise, and the hours of preparation and post-processing that comes with wedding shoots. Just remember the basics. Back-up memory cards, back-up camera. Shoot more than you think you'll need, and have a list handy if the shots you can't afford to miss. For the rest, trust you know what you are doing. They hired you which means they have confidence in your work. You should too Good luck!
  11. Hi Shelby, Your heart is fine. Chest-pains an hour after meals are quite common if you suffer with reflux. If it happens a lot and over the counter antacids aren't doing the trick check with your gp in case you need prescription acid reducers (ppi). In the meantime, smaller meals more often should reduce the symptoms a bit. Try 6 small meals rather than 3 bigger ones. Avoid fizzy drinks and caffeine, and drink from glasses not bottles. I find applying heat to my left shoulder also helps. Or a really hot bath. Because you are anxious it may be heart trouble you are tensing the muscles in that area, making it worse. I hope you feel better
  12. Thanks KH The breathing control I'm ok with. It's what goes on inside my mind that plagues me most. Saying that, yesterday was good, all in all, and today seems to be going the same way, so far
  13. Thanks Mark, So far so good today. Not quite as sparkly as I was this morning as my stomach is playing up but I'm ok. Btw. Tried to send you a "thanks for listening the other day" but message won't send. Not forcing anything today! Just going with the good buzz, while ignoring my stomach. Hope it lasts.
  14. Sunshine? Oh. Yes. That big yellow thing last seen about a year ago! Woke up feeling more positive today, I hope it lasts. Kylie, you are as always an inspiration. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it right. You seem to have an endless reserve of positive energy You're right, I am stressing about a million things and predicting their outcomes. My specialty. This morning it all seems silly. My stomach feels ok so that always helps. Why worry about test results if I'm pretty sure they'll be fine? Why worry about driving if I know it's something I enjoy? (Or at least used to enjoy ). If I could bottle how I feel right now I'llget through today in one piece
  15. Hi Ruby, If you're not sure what to do with free time, experiment Try out things you've never done before. Take a class and learn something new. In fact, I think taking up new things is a great way to distract from anxiety and get your mind and body back on the right track sooner. Do something creative, try out a different sport, learn a new language, cook something you've never had before. There's an endless supply of thingfs to do out there, and the only way to find out what you like is to try them all