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After watch Guy Winch at TED about Emotional First Aid I got really pump up and it's look good for me, So I decided to create content about It. Hope you like it.
 
So what it emotional first aid come for ?
 
Imagine you are in park, observing a group of children playing around on the playground. Apparently, the taller of the two are pissed off because the shorter keeps following him around. Then he pushes the other, causing the latter to fall and scrape his knee. Three other kids stop playing. One runs to her home and come back carrying a first aid kid.
 
Everybody is familiar with first aid kid, the little white box with a red cross on its front surface. The kid with first aid kid put a band aid over the fallen kid’s knees, and they’re back to playing. In a glance, it’s all sunshine and rainbow again for those children. But are they really?
 
Everybody worry about the fallen kid’s knee, but it’s been treated and it will be okay. It will heal. But, who worry about the fallen kid’s heart?  His feeling is very hurt, and it doesn’t show but from that time the younger kid is afraid to approach older boy.
 
But there is no such first aid kit for the boy’s heart. No band aid to heal his hurt feeling and to recover his trauma.
 
But, you see, just because it doesn’t visible to eyes, doesn’t mean emotional injury doesn’t need band aid.
 
Because human knows the risk of leaving physical wound or illness untreated, they make first aid kid: a box full of easy to reach medication and health tools. Yet despite knowing the risk of untreated injury, people seem wonderfully indifferent toward emotional injury.
 
But how about leaving emotional injury ?
 
So, what do we need to do to make this emotional first aid? According to the book, the treatment will be different according to each type of the emotional injuries: rejection, loneliness, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self esteem.
 
Let's discuss one by one :cool:
 
Loneliness
 
 
Loneliness isn’t a ‘door shut on your face’ type of hurt like rejection. It comes slowly, creeping between your day and night, even when you’re surrounded with people. 
 
Loneliness makes you sad, constantly on guard and tends to mistrust other people. Often because of that it drives people away, so you’re going to be even lonelier.
 
how about the first aid for loneliness ?
 
Stop bullying yourself !!! :mad:
 
We frown upon bullying when we see one, yet we often bully our own selves. We often blame ourself for everything that goes wrong, even when those things are just coincident. In our head, we often call ourselves ugly, stupid, and other demeaning words. When we succeed, we seldom praise ourselves.
 
In fact, bullying ourselves will just add negative thinking into our head. When we’re too deep in negative thinking, we may regard everything in life with negative lens, including connecting to people. That makes us even lonelier.
 
Borrow other people’s eyes
 
Are you afraid you won’t meet other people’s expectation when you’re interacting with them? Let me ask you something. Are you afraid other people won’t meet your expectation when they’re interacting with you?
 
No, right? You don’t expect something from others when you’re casually interacting with them, except basic manner of course. So, remember that that’s what exactly other people think of you in conversation: they don’t expect anything from you. Knowing this will help you relax in conversation.
 
For rejection, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self esteem, I will continue it  If this is post get a good respond ;):throb:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Hi Diaz.

I have just looked at that website and it looks real good. By all means continue. My goodness, yes. A broken heart does not show on an X Ray or an MSRI scan but, my God, it does hurt badly. Rejection, failure, loss of self worth and self esteem no one can see, but the mental damage is far greater than the physical. The physical will heal but mental trauma, well, we all know about that don't we?

Thanks for a great post and the insight.

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Really interesting, thank you. I remember listening to an audio recording, it was in french so I will do my best to translate: when we call ouserve stupid, ugly or thinking or saying something negative about ourselves, even if we are joking...well the subconsious doesn't have any sense of humour, meaning it will process all this negative information no matter what.

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Now that is real truth about the unconscious. No, it has no emotions whatsoever, and that is a fact. Dreams, which come from the unconscious, are statements of facts that can be very helpful in getting to the root of problems, but a sense of humour, no way. The unconscious stores ALL information and is totally neutral in doing so. It cares not a jot where the info came from or if it's positive or negative. It's like a big filing cabinet into which goes all life's information but, and this is the difference between that and a computer, we can't have any access except through dreams or waking experiences that throw up symptoms.

You have no 'delete' key to press, it doesn't work like that. It's all there and may remain untouched all your life, UNLESS something 'triggers' it. Simple things like a sound, a memory, a laugh or even a pleasant experience can do it. It came out of the blue' is a cry so often heard from anxious people.

Repressed material is often the basic cause of anxiety symptoms. Gaining access to it is tricky and requires skill. It can be done alone but is better done with a skilled therapist. Thanks for that Pistol.

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That is really intereresting Jonathan, I would like to know what do you mean by waking experiences that throw up symptoms. I had seen a psychologist and I remember how my dreams was important for him and my perception of them. Since that time, I often write down my dreams and of course nightmares to help me interpret them.

Sadly, my dreams are more often creepy and weird, making them very hard to decrypt.I wonder how and why the unconsious distort information like this.

 

 I really like reading your posts Jonathan, your give valuable information. thank you

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Hi. Pistol.

Have you never been lost in a reverie, as if you were not where you are, but thinking about something so strongly you are almost there in your mind? Memories and visions that throw up emotions? But in regard to the unconscious I was thinking more in terms of repressed memory manifesting as symptoms. Can I explain repression and suppression? Suppression is when you CONSCIOUSLY try to forget. An argument with someone may upset you. You put it to the back of your mind, you try and forget it, and may well do so, but it can be recalled at any time. Brought back into conscious thought. Repression is when something occurs, usually of a traumatic nature, that the mind can't cope with so, to protect itself it 'represses' the incident. It UNCONSCIOUSLY does so. There is no immediate recall possible.

This is what happens in PTSD. A soldier sees a comrade killed. He goes into shock, but can't remember the incident afterwards. He seems to be OK then one day a sound, an incident, brings up the emotions he had at the time of the original incident, but NOT the incident itself. This is why people involved in an accident can often recall what led up to it but not the accident itself. It has been repressed into the unconscious because it's too difficult for the conscious mind to cope with.

A child seeing something awful happen will repress the memory. It's to all intents forgotten. But, as an adult a sound, a voice, a smell, a piece of music will bring back the emotions felt at the time, but NOT the memory. This is why it's so difficult to know what causes the anxiety and why therapy is important. Symptoms are bubbles rising to the surface from deep seated occurrences that we may think we have forgotten. Nothing is ever forgotten. It's filed away but never lost. This is the only point with which I disagree with Dr. Weekes. Childhood  memories DO play a major part in anxiety and finding the cause IS important.

'Creepy and weird' dreams! But there are no such words in the unconscious'. Dreams about death do not mean someone is going to die. It may mean something in YOU may needs to die, or is dying. Dreams about sex may have nothing to do with sex but may mean a 'joining together', there needs to be a 'union' of something in your psyche. It's all about messages that can help if we listen. Unfortunately the answer so often is 'well, it's only a dream', and then the importance is lost.

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On 27/8/2016 at 6:29 PM, jonathan123 said:

Hi Diaz.

I have just looked at that website and it looks real good. By all means continue. My goodness, yes. A broken heart does not show on an X Ray or an MSRI scan but, my God, it does hurt badly. Rejection, failure, loss of self worth and self esteem no one can see, but the mental damage is far greater than the physical. The physical will heal but mental trauma, well, we all know about that don't we?

Thanks for a great post and the insight.

jonathan, thanks a lot. what you say give me a a lot of power :)

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On 30/8/2016 at 6:05 PM, Pistol Star said:

Really interesting, thank you. I remember listening to an audio recording, it was in french so I will do my best to translate: when we call ouserve stupid, ugly or thinking or saying something negative about ourselves, even if we are joking...well the subconsious doesn't have any sense of humour, meaning it will process all this negative information no matter what.

thanks so muchhhh :)

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On ‎2016‎-‎08‎-‎30 at 8:03 AM, jonathan123 said:

Now that is real truth about the unconscious. No, it has no emotions whatsoever, and that is a fact. Dreams, which come from the unconscious, are statements of facts that can be very helpful in getting to the root of problems, but a sense of humour, no way. The unconscious stores ALL information and is totally neutral in doing so. It cares not a jot where the info came from or if it's positive or negative. It's like a big filing cabinet into which goes all life's information but, and this is the difference between that and a computer, we can't have any access except through dreams or waking experiences that throw up symptoms.

You have no 'delete' key to press, it doesn't work like that. It's all there and may remain untouched all your life, UNLESS something 'triggers' it. Simple things like a sound, a memory, a laugh or even a pleasant experience can do it. It came out of the blue' is a cry so often heard from anxious people.

Repressed material is often the basic cause of anxiety symptoms. Gaining access to it is tricky and requires skill. It can be done alone but is better done with a skilled therapist. Thanks for that Pistol.

Hi Jon,

It is almost like the uncounscious is another distinct person in us. Kind of weird. I dont understand why the uncounsious  would trigger an anxiety or panic Attack on 'himself'.

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I find the concept of emotional first aid interesting. This is a lot like what my wife is facing. A series of circumstances in her workplace triggered her anxiety and depression very powerfully, but what we're dealing with more now is the lingering effects of the emotional injury related to it that causes her anxiety and depression to keep flaring up when she tries to deal with work. That seems to be the most difficult thing to resolve now, the lingering emotional injury and scar that makes the whole thing seem fresh every time we approach it.

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