Obsessive thoughts/fear of death

[25andScared 3]

I've always struggled with ocd and anxiety. I found over the years whenever something goes away something else pops up to take its place. Heart disease, kidney disease, cancers, end of the world, fear of dying itself, etc. I'm only 27 years old yet I feel like I'm out of time to change, to enjoy life. I feel like my clock has run out. A lot of things are changing for me which doesn't help but I know losing my father at 40 to heart disease plays a factor. I don't believe I'll get old and that terrifies me. My father did drugs, ate terribly and made a lot of bad decisions that lead to his passing but for some reason an ending is all I see for myself. Please I'm desperate for any and all advice.

[Ironman 190]

Well, you answered your own question about your father.  If you don't do drugs and eat moderately well, that's more than half the battle.

I lost mine January 22, 2007 - he was weeks away from turning 61 and retiring! at the time - heart attack. 

I have a six-month checkup with my doctor tomorrow morning (I am 45). 

[Bobnnat 496]

JJ, curious about your relationship to that site, which you reference in every one of your post?

[MARC 429]

I agree with Bobnnat. 

[jonathan123 2367]

Hi 25.  I think we all know how you feel because the fear of death is present in every human being. It's usually ignored and only arises when we see someone else in pain.  We just can't believe that one day we will not be here. BUT!! you are not your father, and such illnesses as he had are not hereditary. You are scaring yourself with your own thoughts. Now that must be obvious to you. The more you think such thoughts the more entrenched they become. In anxiety, and especially OCD one thought is replaced by another. It's bound to happen so let it. Don't fight and struggle with the thoughts or try and not think them. That won't work. It's like trying to push a cork under water. It keeps bobbing up somewhere else. See the thoughts for what they are. Nothing more than anxious thoughts in a  tired mind. Rather accept them for the moment without resistance. Now that may seem odd to you, but it's so important to ease the strain of negative thinking. Keeping occupied does help, but eventually your thoughts once again revert to the old routine. I know I always go for acceptance, because it does eventually work. Being scared makes you want to fight 'IT' off. So the body goes into the fight/flight mode with all the symptoms of fear and anxiety. Fighting and struggling makes matters worse. 

Try, just try to accept how you feel without resistance.  best wishes.

 

[Lauren_Green20 0]

I was extremely close to my Nana and she passed away two weeks ago. I resonate with every word of yours. 

Life feels empty and meaningless when someone that woke you up with everyday just leaves this Earth. I have cried all that I could and now I am just lost. 

She was not just my Nana but a mom to me, who will pray for me day and night, call me thrice if I go out, press all my clothes when I didn't even have anywhere to go. 

I am just trying to put up a strong face for my family but I am shattered. You will have to be strong for the ones that are around you too. Do not live the life your father did, it's a lesson for you to choice a different path. You and I do not know how much longer we will live so fretting over an inevitable death is pointless. Just live today, smile, smile at your pets, smile at your family, laugh because we only have right now. 

[Doug97 19]

On 1/28/2021 at 10:31 PM, 25andScared said:

I've always struggled with ocd and anxiety. I found over the years whenever something goes away something else pops up to take its place. Heart disease, kidney disease, cancers, end of the world, fear of dying itself, etc. I'm only 27 years old yet I feel like I'm out of time to change, to enjoy life. I feel like my clock has run out. 

A big part of getting better will involve challenging false beliefs like this. What help are you getting?