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About 25andScared

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  1. I've always struggled with ocd and anxiety. I found over the years whenever something goes away something else pops up to take its place. Heart disease, kidney disease, cancers, end of the world, fear of dying itself, etc. I'm only 27 years old yet I feel like I'm out of time to change, to enjoy life. I feel like my clock has run out. A lot of things are changing for me which doesn't help but I know losing my father at 40 to heart disease plays a factor. I don't believe I'll get old and that terrifies me. My father did drugs, ate terribly and made a lot of bad decisions that lead to his passing but for some reason an ending is all I see for myself. Please I'm desperate for any and all advice.
  2. I was wondering if anyone could help or maybe had a similar situation. Since I hit my 20s I've had terrible health anxiety....I've thought I had breast cancer, brain tumors, als, melanoma, nail melanoma, lung cancer, appendicitis, ovarian cancer, mouth throat cancer, hpv and so on. What I've started to notice lately is that every time I calm down I'll hear something in the news, on tv or see a post on facebook about someone having a certian type of cancer and itll set off all these alarms. I've recently been struggling with this breaSt cancer scare again my fears were calming until I saw an article about some 26 yr old tennis player and oral cancer SOMEHOW I felt that was the universe confirming my breast cancer. Can anyone tell me why I do this ? If this is logical and has anyone struggled with the same ? Or feel like everywhere they look its cancer and sickness.
  3. Thank you both. I do want to start treating my anxiety and diabetes things I know I have. I do still just get upset at the what if factor. Granted my tests were for other things but I find it hard to believe that something wouldnt be off with this growing inside me. Like my white blood cells or my chest xrays or something. Even other symptoms like swollen lymph nodes or something else concerning after 2 years seems like something else would come up. In my heart I can feel it's probably nothing but anxiety is continuing to ruin my life and I really don't know what I can do to save myself.
  4. I'm 26 now, I have always had anxiety about many things. I'm so scared of dying and not knowing where I'm going that I'm constantly in a freak out about something. Lately past week or so its been breast cancer. I came here to see if someone could help and found that I'd posted about this fear before about a month ago. Something must of made it go away now I'm just wondering if anyone can help me this week has been miserable I am constantly having panic attacks, left work over it and my family is going nuts. Sometime in 2017 I read an article about checking for dimples and what not saying they were a sign of breast cancer, I immediately freaked and begged my wife to take me to urgent care that night. She refused as she was fed up but eventually gave in the next day or so. To be clear we have no history of cancer in our family. We finally went and the woman examined me I distinctly remember because she was pregnant ( my anxiety convinces me things didnt happen sometimes) it wasnt a dimple I had found but a slight dent under my left boob and ONLY when I flex. She felt around and did an examine but didnt find anything of concern told me breast are naturally lumpy and mine were larger so it was nothing out of the ordinary. Now I'm here and I've had check ups since multiple doctor visits with blood tests, chest xrays, ct scans, cdcs everythings all come back normal. I had wondered would this be the case with breast cancer wouldnt something small have shown up if this disease was in me? It's been driving me crazy I've had this for nearly 2 years and I rarely think of it. Because usually its melanoma or skin or heart disease or something new. I'm just afraid that now that I'm 26 I dont have much longer on this earth. Please I'm begging someone to help me, tell something that can help with this anxiety because 9 times out of 10 I'm sure that's what it is. Please help, 26andscared
  5. Wondering if anyone can ease my fears. Last year I read an article about getting dented breast checked. I went to the bathroom and checked myself nothing out of the ordinary so i tensed up flexed my muscles and every time I do I can see a little dent on one side more than the other. I remember going to urgent care where I'm a regular and getting checked and the doctor saying nothing was wrong but im still in a panic. I'm terrified to die from cancer. Its been over a year and I know im only scared because I have nothing else to fear right now but id still love help. I have no other symptoms or pain or anything. Just on both sides when I flex the breast rise a little the doctor said breast were naturally lumpy and fat. I'm still so scared. And im driving my family crazy. Please help ease my fears
  6. Sorry not just the nail. The entire tip of finger was ripped off.
  7. When I was 6 years old the entire nail was ripped off by a bike chain. Its always grown back crooked, never correct. Although I remember in the past getting scared about this exact thing I don't know how long ago it was. Its not bothersome really, I just noticed it today. And my anxiety is in overdrive.
  8. Wondering if anyone can help me. I'm terrfied i have melanoma under my pinky nail. I have had trauma to this nail before but I cant remember if I had these pits here before. They say its rare but due to my anxiety I am awfully scared. I also can't find any pictures on google that look like what I have. Please can anyone help me.
  9. I've been trying my harderst to get my anxiety under control but I've been failing. I've been obsessed with my throat lately and getting throat cancer. Everyone I show says they see nothing wrong, I have no pain or discomfort, no swollen lymph nodes or pain of any kind. The more I think of it the more I feel a lump in my throat when I swallow. And i think the veins in the back of my throat look weird. I'm only 25 years old and I'm always scared of one thing or another but this really has me by the throat. Can anyone help?
  10. I'm lost. I had gotten on medication and things were fine but over the past few days they've gone down hill. I was watching a movie with my wife and a woman mentioned she had hpv, the women then said, "Well yeah we've all had hpv." I I immediately went to google and found that it can cause warts and multiple types of cancers. Since then I've questioned my wife about her history knowing shes only had one other sexual experience which was her rapist when she was 11 years old, I cant imagine how I made her feel asking if her rapist had given ger hpv. I felt terrible. But I kept going convinced I had gotten it from a girl I briefly kissed, or a stranger who had kissed my wife. If my mind wasn't on HPV, it was on the fact that i may have sleep apena because a friend of mine made a post about her daughter who has down syndrome that had a sleep study and found she had sleep apena. I know if I hear another disease itll start all over. Now I'm left wondering is this my life? Am I just going to spend my life worrying, driving myself crazy and waiting to die? please someone help me.
  11. That was concern. The woman was a lesbian and I can't be sure if she contracted it somehow and passed it through kissing my wife. And there is no early test to detect oral cancer from hpv. Has me frightened. I really don't wanna go backwards with my anxiety but it seems I already have.
  12. Not all of sudden. I just hadn't thought it mattered since it was so long ago. Then I get on Google and spend all night worrying and being anxious. I know she was ****d when she was 11 but I was more concerned with what had happened recently.
  13. I've never had another sexual partner, don't plan to. My wifes only other sexual partner was her rapist at age 11. Which scares me as well, idk if he had hpv and has somehow passed it to her because hpv lays dormant for so long.. shes 26 years old now. I'm scared somehow I will contract it and get cervical or oral cancer. I know it isn't rational, i know the chances are slim but it scares me and idk how to make it stop.
  14. I don't know if anyone really knows about the subject but I'm terrfied of getting head and throat cancer from HPV. A couple months ago i was here with fear of als. It crippled me, i was in bed for weeks. My mom finally took me to the hospital, i was prescribed ablifiy and hydralazine. I had to stop abilify due to losing insurance. Now im here. 4 years ago some woman pushed my wife against a wall and gave her an open mouth kiss. There was no sexual activity whatsoever. Just a kiss that lasted seconds. Idk that person so I have no way of knowing if they have hpv. My wife isn't concerned but I AM. Since oral cancer can be spread through oral sex and I have no way of knowing if this woman had oral sex with someone who had hpv and spread it to my wife and in turn to me. I am terrfied of getting head and throat cancer and as of know there is no sure way to test for hpv inside mouth. I am scared and right back to where I was. Can anyone help me ? Please. I have only ever had one sexual partner as has my wife.
  15. Not sure if I mentioned it yet but I'm a little nervous worried about my pinky toe. I can bend all four toes but sometimes I have to try a little harder to push the pinky toe down. After flexing toes for awhile its going down with the rest now but I'm afraid it's a sign of muscle weakness. It is a crooked toe so idk if that's normal. I'm really scared I don't know signs for things like this. Any help would be appreciated.