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About Elizabeth1976

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    New Hampshire
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    Reading, kindle, my family

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  1. I finally found someone who will help me with medication . They will not come to me, but they are not very far away from my house . There are little outside of my comfort zone but I have time to get comfortable . Before she will even give me an appointment though, she wants me to get a physical and blood work done. This makes me trust you more and have confidence that she will only do what is best for me . I have an appointment on Friday develop paperwork at the clinic not very far away from me . I have an appointment at the same clinic on Monday to see a doctor . Originally they wanted both of these appointments at the same time and I told him that would be too much. So it looks like they are willing to work with me . I am absolutely terrified.
  2. Feeling scared.  Snow day today so my routine is off.  I don't like that.

  3. no go on that one unless i ttransfer all my care to them. I am not currently willing to give up the therapist I have had for 5 years. I did get a lead on another possibility. Getting closer. I hope
  4. I may have found a way to get medication without hospitalization. I am waiting on a call back. It is a plqce that offers emergency services. It is very close to my house. They just might be willing to make an exception and see me more than once until I can get somewhere a little further away. I should know sometime in the next few hours. I am waiting on a call from the program director.
  5. I really understand where you are coming from. She may be upset, but I think it's a pretty big leap to say she is going to leave you. Has she said she is going to? Maybe there is a support group she could attend in her area that will help her with feeling frustrated and disappointed? My impression from what you wrote is she loves you very much and will stick by you. Here is why I think that: 1. You were upfront about your condition 2. You said you can go to her place, but only if she drives and she lives 2 hours away. So she is willing to drive quite a bit for you to spend nd time with her at her home. That shows dedication. 3. You have been together for 3 years. That shows she is committed. Personally I think if she was going to leave you should would have before now. She has shown herself to be loyal, dedicated, committed, and loving.I think it is the anxiety making you question it. I suspect you are making yourself feel worse based on how she may feel. She may be disappointed, but I bet she will be happy celebrating your anniversary as long as she is with you, at your place or hers. My only advice is to relax. Hard to do I know. Also be open and honest with her. Share your feelings and fears. Be open and honest.
  6. Thank you. I am so grateful this community . I'm really glad my therapist recommended it . I am taking it one day at a time , one moment at a time . I really would prefer the bicycle . I think I can set a further goal . I see your point about not worrying about getting home quickly . I will work on that . At this point I'm going with the bike simply because I'm stubborn . ?
  7. After my husband punched me Sunday I called members of his family, as mine is over 2 hours away, and asked them to take our 10 yo daughter for a few hours. My mother in law is now saying it was because of my anxiety and I was kicking my daughter out of the house. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was trying to remove her from the situation. I have never done anything to cause harm to my daughter. My mother in law told my husband he can drop our daughter off with a friend no questions asked because I won't be able to get her there. My mother in law thinks walking would be better than a bike. She told me I need to be able to walk a few blocks first. She does not get I want to be able to get home fast. I think I can go further and return home faster on a bike. My husband, well I have no idea why he has been agains it. I did get him to agree, reluctantly, that I can get one when our tax refund comes in. I feel like the two people nearest me, physically, that should be helping me are fighting me every step. I feel very alone.
  8. Hello and welcome . I am new here myself and can tell you you have found a wonderful community to find support and people to talk to.
  9. I have been wanting to get a bicycle for a couple of years. I think it will help me get out more and be more independent. My therapist is behind the idea. My husband is not. I think I finally got him to agree to it. My husband and mother in law are trying to discourage me. Has anyone else done this? Now I hear the two of them talking about moving my daughter out of our place and away from me. I am freaking out. I am also not dumb enough to let them know I heard.
  10. Am so sorry you feel alone . It's easier said than done , but , you really should reach out for help . I am not sure what it could be , but it's better to know what you're fighting then just let it take over . I wish you all the best and hope you do reach out for help so that you can conquer this as well . I am in your corner and enjoy talking to you
  11. Unfortunately my mom was about two hours away. It would mean either being away from my daughter are taking her away from everything she is known since she was born . In addition I have a therapist here I've had the last five years and I really wouldn't want to start over again . Plus my mom is told me she just doesn't have room . I am pretty stuck .
  12. I wish we had home visits from doctors here. I would use it to get on medication so that I could then get to the office . That is my problem I can't get help because I can't get to a doctor office to get it . I'm working on a couple of options , we'll see what happens . If all else fails mail me other choice is to check myself into a mental hospital . I really don't want to do that .
  13. I really need to get on medication . My problem is I can't get to anyone . What do I do? I feel so alone. This morning I had an episode , panic attack, because I couldn't find the phone . I like to have the phone near me and give any to call my therapist oranges I have a medical graces or something like that and need to call 911 . It's something I really worry about . And my husband woke up and he punched me in the back. I feel like I have no words and no support . No one even cared what I told them . My mom is the only one that cared NTQ hours away and there's nothing he can do . I don't know what to do . I can't leave because of the Agoura phobia . I feel so trapped I feel like a caged animal .
  14. Great job! I hate shopping too. I am in a down period. I know it is temporary, but is so hard to deal with. Every victory is so hard won. I am glad it is behind you and not consuming you right now.
  15. Last night, like I do several times a day ,, I went for a ride with my husband . We don't go very far usually no more than about six blocks . We got pulled over by the police because the light over the license plate in the back is out . He did not have his license or registration with him . Entire thing took about 10 to 15 minutes . I did not panic and I do not have an anxiety attack . Even now I am scared to death of cops . I emailed my therapist immediately when I got home and she said she was proud of me as well . At least it's a good moment I can look back on and feel good about . I would really like it if everyone that looks at this and reads this post post something they have done they are proud of . It can be anything . Perhaps you went to the mailbox to get the mail ? Maybe you got through a period of time without an anxiety attack ? Anything . I want to start something positive here where everyone can see they did something positive and can be proud of it . The thought process here is to make everyone feel good about themselves for a few moments . Anxiety robs us so much and makes us feel so bad about ourselves . Perhaps if we fight back with something positive it will help . Even if it just makes the next moment good we deserve that , all of us do.