How do you force yourself to do 'stuff' when all you feel like doing is sitting?

[Ihadcancer 321]

I have, in the last year or two, become more and more  lax about doing things I used to do.  I blame it on being alone from the time I wake until almost bedtime 9 to 10 months out of the year but it could be a slight depression.

How do you force yourself to do things?  

[BeautifulDisaster 68]

Sometimes I also find it hard to get motivated to do stuff. I find it helps if I write down, in a planner, 3 things that I really want to get done in a day.  Seeing them written down and then checking them off keeps me focused on getting them done.  If it's really bad, and I want, say a cup of coffee or tea, then I will tell myself that I have to do ______ before having my coffee or tea.  That is very motivating for me!

[jonathan123 2367]

How do you force yourself? You force yourself!!! No, I'm not being silly because there is no other way, and it has to be done. There are many times even now when I could just sit and say why bother, but my dear wife, bless her, says get off your backside and do something. And of course, she must be obeyed, so I do!! Lethargy, inertia are all part of this damned complaint.

It seems to be the rule in recovery that if we take the hard way it's always more beneficial than the easy one. Going out knowing you may panic, if you are subject to panic, is very very difficult, but it's the hard way, and while out you can practise acceptance. Sitting alone indoors will never defeat panic. Any sort of activity is useful. The younger ones can go to the Gym or go jogging, but us older ones have to put up with some more intellectual pursuits!!! But, lets face it, we are more clever after all. .

[Ihadcancer 321]

8 hours ago, BeautifulDisaster said:

Sometimes I also find it hard to get motivated to do stuff. I find it helps if I write down, in a planner, 3 things that I really want to get done in a day.  Seeing them written down and then checking them off keeps me focused on getting them done.  If it's really bad, and I want, say a cup of coffee or tea, then I will tell myself that I have to do ______ before having my coffee or tea.  That is very motivating for me!

I'd forgotten about that. I used to do that before anxiety because I was an overachiever. That's a great idea!  If I start small, instead of trying to force myself to do something huge, I think I can get 3 things done!  Thanks

[MsLLL 413]

I really like the idea with the planner, I'm also a list person and it gives me satisfaction to check off one thing after the other. That is a good first step if lists speak to you! Now about the forcing, I comprehend what Jonathan is trying to say in essence, but I think anytime we force ourselves we build resistance, and if we don't accomplish the things we set out to, we feel guilty we didn't get it done, and shame that we are not capable like we used to be.

I have a dear friend who has been battling clinical depression for 20 plus years, and we had many discussions about this condition that 'disables' her to  do the things she enjoys so much. She feels guilty when she has days where the depression 'makes' her lay in bed. When she can't pick up her kids from sports, when she doesn't feel like going out on date night with her husband and so forth. I can always tell when it's coming because by the way her voice sounds and how slow her reaction is in conversation. She feels so much guilt and shame when those days come, and it helps her when she is told she has a condition and can't do anything about it at the moment. So she stays in bed, or is slow for a few days, or slacks with her chores in the household BUT there will be the other days; where she is almost like her old self, enjoying her family, friends, going on trips etc. So I guess we have to integrate it in our lives and truly enjoy the good days? 

She doesn't have anxiety, it's clinical depression. Personally I have lots of energy, always had and anxiety has increased that energy because I felt so uncomfortable in that state until a few weeks ago, and had a very hard time sitting still because I was so scared what was happening to me

If you want to, you could get an accountability- buddy. You post (maybe here on AC) what you want to achieve for the day, week or month, and you guys motivate each other but don't shame each other if it doesn't happen. 

Best Wishes and let us know how it goes. 

[Ihadcancer 321]

Good Morning Jon!

since I'm alone 5 to 6 days a week and hubby leaves before dawn and gets home after the dogs and I are in Jammie's watching TV or coloring, it's hard to care about making the bed. I have NEVER  not made the bed until the last few months. Now I only bother on Saturday and Sunday. I always shower, do my hair, wear makeup and jewelry, do dishes, but the clothes I washed finally got folded but are still in baskets days later!  Today I WILL put them away. I have one load that needs washing and one I dried overnight to fold. 

I go to the gym 3 days a week and I'm 66. I missed a few times recently when I was sick and then doctor appointment with urologist. I do 2 to 3 hours of classes those days. I really enjoy that. We have 70 to 90 people a day in 2 or 3 classes all over 65. 

[Ihadcancer 321]

MissLLL, I like that!  Hubby has some errands to run in the next town today and wants to go sit with a friend who is dying. I'll come up with a short list I can accomplish in a few hours and then report back when they're all done or if I fail. Cool. 

[MsLLL 413]

Ok, we are on! Here is my list for today:

Do laundry

don't spend so much time on AC 

drive to see my Godchildren and play with them

write in my journal

Yoga/small weights

vacuum clean

dinner

relax/free time 

 

 

 

[MsLLL 413]

3 hours ago, jonathan123 said:

How do you force yourself? You force yourself!!! No, I'm not being silly because there is no other way, and it has to be done. There are many times even now when I could just sit and say why bother, but my dear wife, bless her, says get off your backside and do something. And of course, she must be obeyed, so I do!! Lethargy, inertia are all part of this damned complaint.

It seems to be the rule in recovery that if we take the hard way it's always more beneficial than the easy one. Going out knowing you may panic, if you are subject to panic, is very very difficult, but it's the hard way, and while out you can practise acceptance. Sitting alone indoors will never defeat panic. Any sort of activity is useful. The younger ones can go to the Gym or go jogging, but us older ones have to put up with some more intellectual pursuits!!! But, lets face it, we are more clever after all. .

Jonathan; I really liked (among other things in your post) how you stated:"....my dear wife......must be obeyed!" It put a big smile on my face! In the US we have a saying:"Happy wife=Happy Life!" I'm not sure if you guys have that in the UK but I think it's a pretty universal belief system

[Ihadcancer 321]

My list for today:

Laundry (wash and dry the 1 load plus fold clothes in dryer.  FORCE myself to put away the clothes in 2 baskets that are already folded)

Dust the TV room (dogs spend 50% of their time in there so it stays dusty from the Ga. red clay they bring in on their fur/ feet).  Hubby has to get a ladder for my top 3 shelves.  I can reach 3, two of which are The Walking Dead figurines which have to be rinsed instead of just dusted due to tiny crevices. 

Change sheets in master bedroom (I do this every Saturday) and make the bed

Go to store for cat food and cat litter

For supper, make my chicken in foil that my boys love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've already fed the animals, emptied and loaded the dishwasher and cleaned out the cat litter. Those are always done before I have coffee each day. 

 

[jonathan123 2367]

Jonathan; I really liked (among other things in your post) how you stated:"....my dear wife......must be obeyed!" It put a big smile on my face! In the US we have a saying:"Happy wife=Happy Life!" I'm not sure if you guys have that in the UK but I think it's a pretty universal belief system

I couldn't agree more. Without my wife I would not be talking to you now. She stood by me when I was going through the woes of GAD and still puts up with me! I would not want to live with me, no way!!!!! There was a TV series here in the UK about a lawyer in the High Court. It was sheer comedy, but one of the sayings he came out with when his wife said something was " She who must be obeyed". That reminded me of him.

DIANE!! Take it easy girl, you will wear yourself out!  And all that in one day. It doesn't sound as if you need 'force' yourself to do anything; it sounds like sheer determination to me. Good luck.

 

 

[Ihadcancer 321]

Jon, I was always super woman and now I'm super lazy woman.  

Jim will help me put the fresh sheets on the bed if he sees me doing it.  It's easier for two! 

Heading out for errands right now.

[MsLLL 413]

Diane, YOU are way ahead of me! I just got home from playing football with my godchildren I'd better catch up! 

[BeautifulDisaster 68]

MissLLL  - an accountability partner is an excellent idea especially in this situation!  Great suggestion!

[Ihadcancer 321]

I fell behind but here's what we did instead.

I needed a lamp for my bedpost so I can see to color at night. Went to Hobby Lobby and found one that can be put out of sight when not in use.  40% off coupon. I also found a pkg of metallic colored pencils.  Hubby needed to go to Tractor Supply. Now both of these stores are 25 miles each way, but within 1/2 a mile of each other, so we went to Tractor Supply and got what he needed plus cat litter and cat food.  

I did wash the final load of laundry and dry it, but haven't folded it yet.  I have the clean sheets out and ready to go on the bed. My old cat (fading quickly) is sleeping on my bed so I'll wait til she wakes to put the sheets on. 

We were going over to see our friend who is dying, but hospice has told the family 'no visitors now'.  

Oh, I did clean the microwave.  Our son went to work at 1 so he had warmed up something that splattered. It wasn't bad, but better to clean it before it got cooked on.

STILL HAVE NOT DUSTED but that's going to be a real chore.  Six shelves, 2 end tables, computer desk, TV stand with glass fronts but loads of DVD's to be moved and dusted and a double window sill that has been covered with a screen to keep the dogs from licking the window glass.  

I feel like I've failed BUT it's only 3:20 pm. 

[Gilly 1086]

Today I dusted and vacuumed, put the dishwasher on 3 times (yep that is how bad it had gotten) and made dinner. I have always hated cleaning, loved cooking and doing laundry but cleaning? NOPE 

Hubby used to dust, vacuum and take rubbish to the bins (3 floors down and at the end of our street) now I have to do it all and it's a constant bloody struggle. The cats just seem to throw hair on the floor and are the messiest eaters, they leave crumbs all over the kitchen floor, it's messy as quick as I can clean it. I saw a video where a lady taught her dog to help clean up, it was so cool and the dog actually did clean, it picked up a towel and cleaned up a puddle and put a can in the bin, plus it brought her snacks. My cats would just lay there giving me the evils if I tried lol

The feeling I have for cleaning and anything lately is apathy. Ugh, do I have to? Yes, cos no bugger else is here to do it. I end up doing it because mess makes me feel anxious. 

 

[Ihadcancer 321]

Me too Gilly! Apathy! 

[MsLLL 413]

Wow, maybe I'm overly optimistic or don't see what's really happening?! But... Diane...you did so much! I did maybe 30 % on my list and it's ok. I spent time with loved ones, the chores can wait But I'm interested getting my hands on that dog Gily mentioned! 

[Gilly 1086]

37 minutes ago, MissLiveLaughLove said:

Wow, maybe I'm overly optimistic or don't see what's really happening?! But... Diane...you did so much! I did maybe 30 % on my list and it's ok. I spent time with loved ones, the chores can wait But I'm interested getting my hands on that dog Gily mentioned! 

 

[Gilly 1086]

WHOAH did that post big enough?

[MsLLL 413]

Wow...just wow.... I'm in love....he is handsome, smart, good-hearted, cleans, fetches sodas, plays table-tennis and does YOGA! 

I'm sold. 

[Ihadcancer 321]

Okay, Sunday.  Today we had  a rough start.  My husband woke at 4 a.m. and first fixed something to eat which woke the dogs and cat and ME.  Then he came back to bed and listened to music with the headphones that don't block the sound.  Then he went downstairs and practiced some songs he's working on for church (right below our bedroom), so.... I was awake from 4 tho I did start to doze until I realized I was quivering with an anxious feeling.  I turned on the TV and watched until time to get up for church.

We had 13 in Sunday School.  The kids were very well behaved and sweet as could be. Jim was starting to feel sick to his stomach, so we stopped by the grocery store for some things we had to have and came home. 

I took a 1 1/2 hour nap but woke with bladder pain from really needing to go potty. 

Unloaded/ loaded the dishwasher, changed those sheets we didn't do last night and have supper planned but it's only 2:30.  

Going to watch The Walking Dead tonight! 

[MsLLL 413]

Hi Diane!  -   (and everyone else!) 

I'm sorry you didn't sleep well. Hopefully you got caught up on sleep!  We had a slow Sunday, I did most of my chores, even the ones I don't like too much. Glad you did the sheets! I love the feeling of sleeping in a freshly made bed, it's so cozy. 

I really need motivation and be held accountable for going back to the gym! I read your posts about the classes you attend, it reminds me how much better I feel when I go to the gym! It's just the matter of doing it for me... I stopped going last fall when my anxiety got bad, although I felt better after working out, I had a 'dreaded feeling' prior to going -and walking in. My pulse was pretty high but went down once I worked out . When I did the machines I would always stare at the defibrillator hanging on the wall . I would see older gentlemen working out and envy them for doing it. I'm much younger and have anxiety---not fair! But now I realize I don't even know what they had and they still did it. 

So what can I do? Any ideas? I really want to go and miss it, but this is one of my hurdles.... 

 

[MsLLL 413]

Guess what everyone!  I did it! I went to the gym today! I figured I don't need to way until Ms Diane wakes up, I can surprise folks here on AC and myself, and just do it.

And I did. 50 minutes only- but 50 is better than 0.

I almost took a picture of the defibrillator....but stopped myself

 

[Ihadcancer 321]

MissLLL,  I should be getting ready for the gym right now, but last night right before bed, I did something and pulled a muscle or tendon on the inside of my thigh.  It really hurt.  I was getting ready for bed so I laid real still and it hurt but not that horrible throb.  It's still pretty sore today and so is my back.  I moved a sofa yesterday to remove a screen we put up during certain seasons on the big double window in the TV room.  

I made my bed today the minute I got up.  I was awake at 6:30 but laid there until 7:50 when the dogs woke.  Hubby was awake at 3 a.m. and he'd changed to the headphones that block the music BUT he used the CD player like a DRUM and was banging out the beat, which woke me.  I don't say anything.  I know he has horrible problems with sleep.  Oh, and he'd turn on the heat sometime during the night!  I was so hot!  He was uncovered and sleeps in his T shirt and boxer shorts. I sleep in long p.j.'s but like a cold room.  I got up, turned the heat off and turned on the ceiling fan to cool the room. When I felt him grasping for covers, I got up and turned off the fan and slept for a little while.  Our house is not big by Georgia standards.  Our 3rd bedroom is my TV room.  It has a futon.  We tried to put a bed in here when we bought the house (new) in 1999 and you could only walk around the sides and couldn't open the closet plus barely close the bedroom door. So, we turned it into a computer TV room. The dogs are in here 90% of the time, so I switched to the futon so I can wash the sheet every other day or more if it's rained.  

I am supposed to pick up Track and Field batons sometime today but that's only 2 miles from home. IF the uniforms are ready, I'll go pick those up in Douglasville, which is almost 50 miles round trip.  It's all highway but the last mile or so.  I don't mind that at all.  That would force me to get out of the house.  Going to be almost 70° all week!  

My older friend who is dying 'transitioned' last night to actively dying.  His daughter in law posted the update middle of the night for our church friends but no remarks so far today. This is very hard on his son.  He was raised solely by his Daddy (94 in January) and has limited interaction with the mother who lives quite a distance away.  

So today I have a load of wash to dry and fold.  I haven't emptied the dishwasher yet but the animals are fed and coffee is made.  Our youngest goes to work at 11:00 but he's been up for hours.  

I will not sit all day.