Moving Back in With Parents?

[SEA81 2]

I've been thinking a lot about moving back in with my parents lately because I am mostly unemployed and having a hard time affording my bills. I feel like all I do is scrimp and save so I can afford rent/utiltiies.

However, I'm afraid that moving back in is going to be a big anxiety trigger. My parents bicker and argue constantly, and my mom's health is not that great. Those things are triggers for me. I also know that it's going to be hard to be an adult and have my mom trying to control me all the time. She doesn't work or anything, so she has nothing else to bide her time.

Anyway, what would you do? Keep scrimping and saving and spending nearly 24 hours a day it seems sometimes doing work for pennies so you can keep on your own or move back in with the parents and risk lots of anxiety triggers? I still have anxiety at my house, but I can handle it in whatever way I see fit. At my parents' house, there's no escape!

[JungleJulia 235]

Its a tough decision. I recently moved back in with my parents to save money. My anxiety is actually probably not much different to before. But at least i'm not worrying about bills all the time! Good luck deciding :/

[shaun 6]

I have been in a similar situation, I moved back with my parents when I lost my job. Both my parents work and I had time to find another job while they supported me, it turned out to be a good decision and I eventually moved back out.

Your situation is different because it will cause more stress for you rather than being a place of solace. Is there a way you can make the experience at home more tolerable? If you can't support yourself you will have to move back eventually.

[Quirky Jessi 2]

Talk to your parents about it. You're an adult now and boundaries would need to be set. While it's their house and their rules and they -are- your parents, you also will need your own privacy and open structure compared to what it would've been like before. For example, if you work online at all and will be inside the house a lot, but busy, then make it clear that you need to be left alone completely between 4 and 9 pm, etc. This will help keep your mom from coming in constantly to bug you for things because she's bored or lonely. Make it clear that you love them and thoroughly appreciate them letting you stay there, but that in order for you to eventually get back to a position where you can move out, you can't be playing middle man with their arguments constantly or taking care of your mom fulltime, etc.

It might be hard to bring up some of these things, but if you want to minimize the anxiety of doing it, it helps to get it out there. And it'll help make it easier to walk away from the negative situations later because they already know where you stand.

[Gilly 1082]

I know its hard scrimping and saving, I am on benefits and I have to be strict but it is doable I guess you have to decide what would cause you the least stress, knowing you are stable financially under their roof or having your freedom and own space but having to struggle financially to keep it.

Personally I would stick it out the best I could. It would have driven me crazy to move back home. I'm a bit of a control freak and in my own home I at least feel some control over my anxiety.

[Tecca_Nina 3]

This is something you have to decide on personally after thinking about it for quite a bit of time. Is it worth it for you? Will the anxiety you get from your parents be worth not worrying about your finances 24/7?

[kinser 3]

That is a hard decision. I moved back in with my parents temporarily after my first marriage fell apart, and it was really hard. I just didn't feel like it was my personal space, and I felt like an intruder (even though they asked me if I wanted to stay there, and never indicated that they felt like it was an intrusion). I just couldn't do it after having been out on my own. I would avoid it again at all costs. Have you considered getting a roommate? That's what I ended up doing after moving out of their house after staying for a few months.

[sphinx 0]

Is there any other option you could look at like sharing a place with another adult? Or offering lodgings to one student? So that you have slightly less financial worries without moving back.

[ValerieAnne 0]

I moved back in with my parents in July of 2010 when my lease was up after losing my job and not being able to pay my bills anymore. I am soon to be 28 and I think they are ready for me to get back out there on my own. I work online mostly at the moment though as I have a hard time during interviews and a lot of issues with working alone so I'm afraid to go out there and try to look for another outside of the house job. My parents have been great for the most part though.

My situation is completely different than yours since I am alone most of the time. When my parents are here, they don't talk too me and I feel so alone in the world. I am saving all the money I make so I can move back out on my own. It's even harder for me though since I don't drive, I can't pass the written part of the test. I've never been able to take tests, not even in school. I panic when I am asked questions.

I would suggest saving everything you can, if it is possible.

[BonnyC 1]

It just comes down to which situation will cause you less anxiety. How will the reduced financial stress compare to the amount you might gain by spending time with your parents?

Also, if you do move in with your parents, you'll have a better chance of getting back on your feet and becoming independent again. If you don't, you might just continue living the way that you are since you can't really afford to spend the time to find something better that will help your financial situation. I think it would be worth the sacrifice, personally. But, I don't know your family. I know that my mother is unbelievably controlling, picky and critical, but I think I'd deal with it if it meant I could possibly be independent indefinitely.

[xavalonxxx 0]

When my Anxiety first came on I was actually in the process of moving back home. I was in school and my roommate moved out so I could not swing the rent alone. At first it was nice especially since I was being medicated for the first time but after a month or so I was going nuts. I was out of there in 6 months. Each situation is different but I would think maybe some short term savings for you would be good and you can bolt when you are on your feet.

[melissa 0]

I personally would go for it. I mean why not? You can sace alot of money at your preants then move out and get you rown place again. Is is possible to talk to them abou thow they make you feel?

[Jennib 0]

I have a friend who has two children who, after a bad marriage and no money, moved in with her mum. Her mum is someone who doesn't express her affections easily and being elderly, is very set in her ways. Besides that, her mum only had a three bedroom, one bathroom, small home so each week the children took turns sleeping with my friend in her bed while the other child slept in the separate bedroom. She had the added stress of coping with the emotional turmoil of a divorce and looking for work to earn money. She lived like that for three years before she finally found work to support herself and her two children and might I add, a new husband.

The point of this story is that you can make something work if you really want to or you have to, even though at times the situation proves to be difficult or impossible. Whatever decision you make, I wish you all the best.

[MeiEden 1]

I think it really depends on what the triggers that worsen your anxiety are. Is it more stressful for you to figure out how to pay the bills when you're on your own? Or is it worse listening to your parents bicker nearby and have your parents nitpick your every action? Then make that choice and pick the lesser of 2 evils. Once you make that choice, don't look back and question "what if?" because you'll drive yourself crazy that way. Make a decision and try to make that choice to make the best of that decision. Good luck? i know it's difficult to choose when you're faced with 2 undesirable situations.

[boyuancy 1]

Have you considered an intermediate way out? Stay away from your parents, but ask them for some financial support? If I were you, I would probably do that.

[racechick79 2]

I wish any of us could tell you exactly what would be the best decision to make (doesn't it always seem like we wish that somebody would just tell us the right thing to do?!)

I moved back in with my parents for about a year before I got married in order to save money and start of my married life on the right foot. I have a great relationship with my parents though, so it sounds as if it were a much different situation. I agree with some of the other posts that it might not hurt to sit down and talk with your parents. Whether that means asking for some help or setting some boundaries if you would move back in.

It sounds as if you know what your anxiety triggers would be, could you work with your parents at all in order to avoid some of those triggers? As an example, certain discussions with my parents would sometimes trigger anxious feelings in me (especially before the wedding); and I had a really serious conversation with them before I moved back explaining that to them. It worked out well for us!

Good luck.

[classy_ally 2]

I'm sorry hear that. A lot of people are struggling to keep just the basic necessities of life. I could not imagine moving back in with my parents. Maybe you can earn extra money online. If that's not possible, maybe you should invest in some good ear plugs. You have to make space and time to keep your anxiety level manageable. I know you love your parents and you need a financial break.

God Bless!!