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About MeiEden

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  1. I absolutely love super hero movies, and when I heard that Joss Whedon (of Firefly fame) was directing The Avengers, I knew I had to watch it. He did NOT disappoint. I loved the characters and their conflicts. I loved the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) humor! I loved the action sequences and pacing. Everything about that movie was awesome. Of course I'm also looking forward to the Incredible Spiderman and the new Batman movies!!
  2. Yes, I definitely do feel judged - mostly by my family and sometimes by friends. I think they still don't believe that I really have an anxiety issue. Or if they do, they don't fully comprehend how awful and soul-consuming it can be. Instead, they think I'm just weak and moody. I am blessed however to have a husband who supports me and believes in me. It helps to have even 1 person you know you can lean on when it feels like the whole world is judging you.
  3. My favorite is coffee ice cream. Unfortunately, I'm incredibly sensitive to caffeine, so I can't eat it in the afternoon or evenings. My second favorite is probably mint chocolate chip (because it's so refreshing and tasty!).
  4. So You Think You Can Dance is my all time favorite dancing TV series! If you haven't watched it, I would highly recommend watching it this season. It just started 2 weeks ago. Look it up on the Fox website for showtimes.
  5. char2011: The Game of Thrones series on HBO is based on a fantasy book series by George R. R. Martin. He is considered by critics to be the "modern-day Tolkein". The series can't really be described easily in a few words. The basic premise is that different "families" are vying for the throne in a fantasy kingdom. It is so easy for the viewer/reader to become immersed in the world and characters portrayed in both the series and the books. Personally, I enjoy the TV series more than the books. George R. R. Martin gets a little wordy in his descriptions, in my opinion.
  6. A few months ago, my workplace became a place that triggered so much anxiety in me that my husband and counselor both strongly suggested that I quit my job despite the loss of income it would bring. I was afraid that my anxiety would then just shift to worrying about not having enough money to pay the bills! In the end, the anxiety resulted in depression, violent mood swings, months of insomnia, and sickness to the point that I had to quit my job. The way things were going, I couldn't even enjoy my life. It was the best decision I've ever made. Removing myself from that situation and becoming a homemaker has helped my anxiety tremendously. People I don't even know that well have come up to me and commented on how happy I look compared to before. I'm not saying this is a solution for everyone. Some people can't afford to quit their jobs - but if you can, at least make it a point to take a vacation/time for yourself every quarter or so. This will help to give you time away from your anxiety triggers (if they are work related). Even if it isn't a work situation that triggers your anxiety, it is still important to find a way to remove yourself from your triggers every once in a while to balance yourself. Good luck!
  7. Wow - it's great to finally hear someone who had the same experience as me. When the doctor put me on medication, I also felt horribly worse and zombie-like. I felt so horrible I immediately stopped taking the medicines, and set a goal for myself to try to find a natural solution to help my depression. Everyone else I've talked to has said they've had great results with medication. I thought there was something wrong with me!
  8. JungleJulia - I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I hate how depression seems to come in cycles. One day I think I'm completely cured, and then a few months later it's back in full force. Even if you don't feel like it, it helps to write down small lists of things to do for yourself (in those few good moments you may have). Then when you're in a depressive episode, pick 1 item from your list and focus your energies on accomplishing that task (As you mentioned above, it's best if the goal involves getting out of the house or seeing people so that you are more distracted from the dark thoughts). I know, it's really hard. I wish you all the best during this difficult time.
  9. Thanks Gilly. I agree with most of the tips you have listed, and they are definitely very helpful for those of us who suffer from anxiety. Unfortunately, I personally have issues with #1. Sometimes, when the anxiety is really bad, it becomes extremely difficult for me to sleep. I'll try exercising during the day to make myself tired (at least 4+ hours before I sleep), and I still won't be able to sleep. Naturally, this becomes a vicious cycle as I become more tired and anxious the next day because I haven't slept, and then the anxiety of not sleeping keeps me from sleeping again!! When it becomes that bad, I find it helpful to take a few days off from work (if I can) and force myself into a different routine by taking a vacation somewhere, volunteering, or hanging out with a different set of friends. Not sure why, but that helps me!
  10. Thanks Gilly - glad to be a part of the forum! tajnz - That's a great idea. Some days it's really easy to think of things I like about myself, but on other days I can only think of the bad things (That's when it gets really bad). A list of things I love about myself and why would really help, I think.
  11. I do start worrying about how much sleep I'll get - and then it makes it harder for me to sleep. The racing thoughts are the worst because once they start, it's definitely impossible to get to sleep, even after a long day of exercise (like xavalonxxx). Anyway, if any of you have ideas on how to help the insomnia, it would be much appreciated. Good luck to everyone!
  12. I think it really depends on what the triggers that worsen your anxiety are. Is it more stressful for you to figure out how to pay the bills when you're on your own? Or is it worse listening to your parents bicker nearby and have your parents nitpick your every action? Then make that choice and pick the lesser of 2 evils. Once you make that choice, don't look back and question "what if?" because you'll drive yourself crazy that way. Make a decision and try to make that choice to make the best of that decision. Good luck? i know it's difficult to choose when you're faced with 2 undesirable situations.
  13. One of the things that has helped me the most in working through my anxiety is starting each day by intentionally thinking and praying about 5-10 things I am thankful for or happy about. By focusing on these things, I prevent my mind from wandering back to my constant worries and negative thought patterns. One of the biggest problems I have with my anxiety is falling into the trap of constantly wallowing in my pain and thinking I can never be free of it. By remembering all of the good things, people, and events in my life, I begin opening my thoughts to the positive aspects of life. This prevents me from falling back into my natural anxious state. To all of you struggling out there - try this exercise everyday for a week and see if it helps to make a difference. Best wishes to all of you!
  14. That's awesome!! Congratulations for taking that step forward to make a positive difference in your life and in the world. I actually am doing the same thing as you and recently started trying to volunteer with different local organizations and with my church. It definitely makes you feel great and refreshed at the end of each day/session. Good luck to you on everything!
  15. I have had bad insomnia for the past 6 months or so. It was so bad at one point that my husband and I decided together that I should quit my job because I was becoming so stressed out at work from lack of sleep and work pressures that I couldn't function well anymore. My usual general feelings of anxiety were degenerating quickly into depression, and I was constantly having mood swings. My memory and concentration were also suffering. Since I quit, I have good days and bad days, and I like the idea of working at home with my own hours because it means I can choose when I want to be productive and work extra hours when I'm doing well and maybe fewer hours when I have bad nights. Of course, I am definitely blessed to have a husband who is our main source of income and supports me in this. Have any of you been affected by insomnia to the point that you had to make changes to your lifestyle?