sphinx

Is there any other option you could look at like sharing a place with another adult? Or offering lodgings to one student? So that you have slightly less financial worries without moving back.

Yes it needs baby steps but I think it essential to take them. I always remember when my kids went to playgroup how there would be mums who could not leave their children - to start off with the children were OK leaving mum but after a couple of times of mum panicking you ended up with kids who worried about mum leaving purely because they had seen mum get anxious before. I know its hard - the first time i was apart from my eldest son he was about 4 months old and my then mother in law who lived a couple of hundred miles away came down and took him out for a couple of hours - I cried my eyes out for 3/4 of an hour and it took all my husbands patience to get me to leave the house for some us time - when I he was returned safe and well it did underline for me that I needed to get used to him not being with me and I started with my husband taking him out for periods of time and worked from there.

I think doctors surgeries need to start considering health anxiety and finding ways to help it - I have suggested elsewhere (not sure if on this forum or a different ones - i struggle to keep track cause of the fibro) that maybe surgeries should start doing a monthly "tea and biscuits" session with the practice manager and one or 2 of the GPs present (different GPs each month) to let people attend the surgery in a social setting. Obviously there would need to be a rule about no medical talk but I think it would help. I know my GP from outside the surgery as well and it definitely makes a difference.

Yes I did Brave new world as a teenage and still read it now - it does present some very deep ideas I think teens need to consider about perceived role in society versus what you want to do, and the idea that there are alot of things that have to be done that people might not necessarily want to do.

I think one problem is the tendency with some conditions (like fibromyalgia) to blame them on a mental illness rather than blame the mental symptoms on the physical illness - like I mentioned in my opening post. Its like some doctors (and other medical staff) decide that the pain, exhaustion and confusion of fibro is all caused by the depression the person suffers - when actually the depression is caused by the pain exhaustion and confusion. You ask them whether they would be depressed if they were in stupid pain 24/7, with all their dreams reduced to ashes, left feeling totally useless and they look at you like you are an alien. I mean getting depressed in certain situations is a normal response - it only becomes a problem if it doesn't resolve or go away - why do some medics think it can only ever be a problem and that all problems result from depression not depression can result from other problems.

What do you call it when you keep seeing pictures of bad things happening? I mean a classic one for me, which sends me straight the doctors is when I am travelling and have a constant image of either the car breaking down or something crashing into me.

I think this can be seen both ways - If the evaluation is just an information gathering tool that allows the person to be aimed towards those most able to provide what they most need then it has to be supported - if its a pass or fail punishment orientated exercise it cannot be condemned enough. I mean lets say someone is in a car accident - when they get to hospital they are going to be checked from stem to stern even if they say they feel fine to make sure there is nothing needing treatment, and to assess what treatment is needed from what department - nobody would dream of questioning this or saying it was a bad thing even if it can be invasive. So if someone coming from an abuse situation is assessed to check they are not at risk of abuse from another quarter (how many young women run away from abusive parents only to end up with an abusive man - and if they manage to escape that they feel they have nowhere to go except back to abusive parents), to make sure they are not suffering PTSD, to make sure they have food shelter money etc, to make sure they are not at risk of depression etc then I say that is a good thing so long as any points that are highlighted are properly treated. However no-one would dream of getting the car accident victim to take a series of tests with them having to get a set score for insurance to pay for everything and if the assessment is going to be of the type that says you werent a proper victim or you were partially responsible then it should be thrown out immediately.

You have to be careful not to mislead though - I mean there is the thing that if you do not tell a prospective employer about something that may impact your performance you can be fired simply for failing to tell them even if your performance has not been impacted. I mean obviously the place to do this is in the application itself rather than at interview but if you are asked about health or reasons for a long break from work you have to honest.

It also works the other way around - if you feel good you stand straight and tall and if you feel awful you slouch and slump - it is one of those things where cause and effect are not obvious. Yes you can change your mood by consciously adopting a different posture - but if your mood changes unconsciously then so will your posture.

Definitely worth a go - and the lecturers may grab you with your consent to talk to students about the beneficial effects on health from the patients point of view.

My pleasure. Sometimes the best thing to hang on to is a sense of humour.

I imagine myself as playing the role of a defence barrister with the negative thoughts as the prosecution. The thought says "you are lazy" I defend with a list of what I have achieved. The thought says "you are ugly", I defend with always being chatted up. The thought says "you are stupid" I defend with what I have learned. I treat it as a high pressure court appearance with me as the star defender - which also serves as positive reinforcement.

Maybe you could try your local library as well - mine has computers people can use for free - you might have to book but even a couple of hours should be enough for you to get the essentials cleared up.

Sherlock was briiliant and I cant wait to find out how he faked his own death - I cant believe they made us wait from the end of one season the start of the next to find out. (if anyone has read the spoilers I do not want to know until I see the episode)

Notes are the way to go - and just take it one day at a time - and then one step at a time.