River Song 4 Posted February 12, 2015 I am a mother of a 9 month old baby, She is our world and she has several cousins that have birthday parties. I am so sad about the thought that she will not have birthday parties like theirs. 1. I really don't have friends 2. I cannot handle the socail stress of throwing a party. I feel so heart broken that she will not get to experince birthday parties the way her cousins do. Perhaps in the future when she is older and has friends to invite. What are some thoughts on this matter? What would you do to make your childs birthday special if you knew she wasnt going to have parties ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lizzymae 3 Posted February 13, 2015 You don't have to have parties with friends. You can just do family parties with the cousins. Family is generally much easier to deal with than friends. I know many people that only have family birthday parties, and then once the child gets to school-age they're only allowed to invite one or two friends, but it still remains mostly family. Also, instead of you throwing it, maybe you could ask your siblings to help you? I'm sure they would be happy to throw a party for their beautiful niece! Or, if you can't do that.. make that day a special day for you two and dad (if he's there). Every year, you three can go out to dinner and make it be all about her. It doesn't need to be a big party and a big celebration. What's most important is that she knows you both love her deeply and care about her. She doesn't need a party to make her feel special, especially if you have other traditions. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
River Song 4 Posted February 13, 2015 thank you for that! It started to dawn on me when i was at my nephews birthday party and saw all the people there for him I got really sad. I will definetly make it a memerable day for her for sure. family can sometimes be stressfull but I can cope with them better not mixed company though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan123 2367 Posted February 13, 2015 Hi River Song. Now how do you know she will never get to have real birthday parties? In anxiety things can change overnight and to look years ahead is self defeating. As lizzy says, if you give her your love then you have given her the most precious gift anyone can give another. All the fancy trimmings and parties can mean nothing if there is not love. Do your best for the moment, that's all you can do and don't let it worry you. When you are well again you can have a rave up if you wish but for the moment, take it easy. Jon. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
River Song 4 Posted February 13, 2015 Thank you Jon. I will have to make it speical which I know it will be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stones345 32 Posted February 15, 2015 River.... the future is way too far off to be thinking about this. She is 9 months old and won't remember parties until she is at least 4. By that time she will probably be in pre-school. I was a pre-school teacher for 17 years and can tell you that on her birthday you bring the cupcakes to school and the class sings happy birthday to her. There... done. I had 3 kids and my youngest, who is now 19, didn't even ask for a party with friends until he was 7. So no need to go giving yourself anxiety over something that is years and years away.... For now, just celebrate with her and your close family. That's what makes it special... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KH84 42 Posted March 20, 2015 My first bout of anxiety was after my first child. I was worried about the same thing. For her first bday I knew I couldn't handle a lot so I had just family and cake and ice cream. I had a few appetizers but nothing big at all. I just made it clear it was just cake and ice cream and I put up a few decorations. As the years went on and Pinterest was created I now do way over the top parties (my anxiety went away for 5-6 years) which is one of the reasons my anxiety came back a few months ago. I can tell you since I have been doing the over the top parties the kids could actually care less how I decorated the house and all the work I did. Your little one will just be happy with cake and some decorations even if it's just her parents and if you can handle some cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents if they live near you. You don't know how you will feel years from now. You could be better and be able to give her the parties you think she should have. I am already worried I won't be able to give my kids the kinds of parties I've been giving them this year and I just have to realize if I can't do it then I can't do it. No need to stress and cause more anxiety. Good luck! I actually found that having that little bday party made me realize that I can do things that make me uncomfortable and I felt proud that I did it. Also it helped because I was doing it for my kid. I notice if it's for them I push myself more because I worry about how my anxiety affects them and want them to not have to suffer because of me. ( not saying your daughter will suffer. Just my own personal guilt with MY kids) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan123 2367 Posted March 20, 2015 'I am already worried I won't be able to give my kids the kinds of parties I've been giving them this year and I just have to realize if I can't do it then I can't do it. No need to stress and cause more anxiety'. What a sensible attitude! We have to realise our limitations otherwise we just store up trouble. How many with anxiety have gone to a party and had a good time only to realise afterwards that they have 'overdone it' and are exhausted. A kind of mental hangover.That is not to say we should not go out and enjoy ourselves, but moderation needs to be exercised and limitations observed. Fatigue is a common anxiety symptom and we should not add to it. Jon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steve4AM 14 Posted March 20, 2015 there's no reason that you must have parties, especially to keep up with others! but if you wanted to try it, maybe you have family members who could lend a hand and take some of the worry off your hands? someday, i would like to have children, but finding a mother who could stand my OCD may be difficult! and it probably isn't great if we both had it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
