Trudy

Here I go again

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It is so irking I can have great months at a time and poof 1 physical ailment or drama within my life and here it comes ANXIETY PANIC. The jumping out of my sleep, Tmj issues, crazy scary ruminating, is this my day will my kids make it without me, jitters, sweats, heartbeat all over the place. My anxiety isn't just a 1 time poof it came and went see you in 6 months nope I am keyed up and freaked for days and days on end. Am I the only 1 this happens to?

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1 hour ago, Trudy said:

It is so irking I can have great months at a time and poof 1 physical ailment or drama within my life and here it comes ANXIETY PANIC. The jumping out of my sleep, Tmj issues, crazy scary ruminating, is this my day will my kids make it without me, jitters, sweats, heartbeat all over the place. My anxiety isn't just a 1 time poof it came and went see you in 6 months nope I am keyed up and freaked for days and days on end. Am I the only 1 this happens to?

Nope. I was fine for many months and just a few weeks ago had a tingle start on my heel. Then a tight muscle in that same leg that won’t go away. I had about a week of anxiety before I accepted that I can’t control it and found peace. Our bodies just do things for no reason sometimes. Could it be sinister? Yes. Fearing every little thing though isn’t sustainable. Try to accept that it’s probably nothing. If it is, you’ll deal with it once you know that. But it probably isn’t. No matter what it is. 

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That's the course of my HA as well. A few good weeks maybe months if I'm lucky and them bam down the rabbit hole again with no light in sight. All I know is the sun will rise again...somehow we'll get back to zero...eventually....somehow. Meanwhile, it's a horrible place to be. You are not alone.

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Thanks guys its like we feel miserable and afraid of the other shoe to drop then on the other hand I feel guilty about my issues because by comparison other people have way more drastic issues and here I am complaining can't win for losing.

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A good friend of mine who just turned 67 was having a bit of chest pressure sometimes when he walked. He is pretty heavy at 255 and is 5 foot 10 and a half. He went to his physician and was sent to a cardiologist. The cardiologist ordered a cardiac catherization right away and told him stress tests are worthless. One of his arteries was 100% blocked and they tried to put a stent in, but it could not be done as the plaque was too hard, so he is scheduled for a bypass a week from today. He told me he now has trouble sleeping and is stressed out and I told him that is normal. I suffer from HA also and when I hear about these type of issues, it helps put things in perspective. 

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Not even close to being alone, I have problems of being unbalanced that never goes away aside from maybe months at a time. 

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I think the ruminating is the worst part of all of this.  There is always something to think about, and then I get anxious because I am not thinking about something.

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Posted Wednesday at 08:49 AM

No. Trudy, you are not. What you have is GAD, but you know that. ALL your symptoms are so typical of anxiety that if you look up '100 symptoms of anxiety' you will find them all there. And that's all it is, anxiety!! Now in no way am I minimising your feelings, god knows, been there. It does so often come and go, and that is the frustrating part of it. We can be somewhere enjoying ourselves when WHAM!! seemingly out of the blue it hits us. Something has triggered it off. It can be a sight, noise, voices shouting, a smell or anything. It's no use trying to find these triggers becuse they can be elusive and the more you try the more anxiety you cause. It still comes down the the old word ACCEPTANCE. I know, over the years I have said this so often and it's still true. No fighting or struggling with IT. That's a fight you can never win.  Slow down and take it a day at a time, even an hour at a time. The more you try to loose it the worse it will get. Give up the struggle, not give in, that's different and can lead to despair. Are you on any medication? It can help a lot in the short term, but only that prescribed by your dodctor. Go easy on yourself, what you have is so common in anxiety.

 

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To confirm Jonathan's point.  Several weeks in the future, you are going to look back at this and wonder what was going on in your head.  I would have a panic attack over that because I wasn't still thinking it or had moved onto something else.

We have to separate the thinking into what we can change and what we can't.  If we can't change it, we have to let it go.  What we can change can be further broken down into steps so even that won't be overwhelming. 

Accept and go with the flow - use the nerves in a motivational way.  I have had my med dosage dropped to half in June....and like the fates, I had to start standing for myself in multiple areas to get things done around me.  I more than stepped out of my comfort zone (picture Moses parting the Red Sea), and actually got a lot accomplished!  I had issues with car repairs, my anxiety med refill, AND work interpersonal issues - ALL AT THE SAME TIME!  On half the meds, I could have easily let it take me down a bad path of old thinking - leading to lack of sleep, nausea, and non-functionality.  Thursday, it was supposed to end when an upper-level manager at work wanted to follow up on an email I sent him (half hour).  He could fire me, he could wonder how things are, he could give me an official warning for pulling him into things - personnel file.  It was TEN minutes and everything had cleared up in my email before that.  He acknowledged that resource was not where it was supposed to be and that he would track it since my project is important.  It was originally supposed ot be two years at the most - I am now in YEAR FIVE and there was NO movement in 2021.

Well, that meeting went well and I wanted to celebrate.....by mowing my lawn lol.  Guess what, DUMB ME put the bottom of the gas can's contents into the six-year-old mower so I could refill the can for future runs.....I gummed up the carburetor of the mower!  Another test was finding a repairman since Sears Roebuck & Co. (United States department store chain) closed a bunch of stores in my area in 2018.  I used to take the mower to where I bought it and it would be gone for three weeks lol.    Anyway, I found a local hardware store who said it would be a week before they could get to it, but I am okay.  The next thing will be hiring a mower to do a one-time job if I can't get it back in time. 

**Moral of the stories - anxiety will NEVER go away!  We must take things one at a time, and not let it overwhelm us.  It definitely takes practice.  I use one of God's parables - He doesn't put more on me than I can handle.  He's got my back.

----> And that upper-level manager said that everybody stepped in - because they respect me!  How's that for hidden gems in trials!  Not bad for my 250th post!

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Yes, recently I went through a week of googling symptoms and back-to-back panic attacks. I was utterly useless for that week, could not function at all. I'm still anxious - always am - but at least I'm keeping it together enough to get stuff done. You are not alone. 

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