BirdieS

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BirdieS last won the day on January 19

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About BirdieS

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    Boston, MA, US
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    Musician and athlete

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  1. Thank you so much for the reply, Marc. I’m doing a bit better but still feeling shaky, weakness on my left side, and generally off-balance. I know the mind is a powerful thing, especially for us folks with HA, so I know it could be all in my head and I’m spending lots of time using the tools my therapist gave me. I’m guessing this could all be due to the increase in my dosage. And to be honest, I’m not allowed to google or body check as per my treatment (sometimes I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing), so I don’t even know what the symptoms are of ALS.
  2. Hi Penny. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry. I was also doing better and now I’m not. Sending calming vibes your way.
  3. I was doing so, so well... In therapy once per week doing CBT and on a low dose of Lexapro. Then I read an article about a woman with ALS and I’m incapacitated. I’m having weakness in my left arm and tingling in my hand. Went to the doc and was diagnosed with carpal tunnel. That was Friday. But now the weakness has spread to my left leg. And I swear I’m feeling twitches. All of a sudden I’m right back where I was, with the obsessive thoughts, hyperventilating, and uncontrollable crying. I can think of nothing else. My therapist has insisted that I do not have ALS, but why am I feeling this way? My head is also feeling loopy, almost like an out of body experience. If anyone has any way to help with this, please let me know. I would be forever grateful to you. I should mention that my dose of Lexapro was increased approximately 10 days ago. At first I felt no different, but felt like this was worth mentioning.
  4. Perhaps? I think my mind had a hard time accepting it due to the severity of the sharp pains. It was pretty surprising that it was not a heart attack in my case!
  5. I’m 38. I recently went to the hospital with sharp pains in my chest and a fast HR and was convinced I was having a heart attack (I have a history of heart disease and high cholesterol in my family). They gave me an EKG and took blood to run labs and I still wasn’t convinced, so the PA did an ultrasound and gave me a tour of my heart. Long story short, it was not a heart attack.
  6. Well, I’m back with more worrying, even after a very good session with my new therapist on Wednesday. I’ve had a small, hard, pimple-like dot on the back of my calf since August and I’m petrified it’s skin cancer. It’s not dark (it’s flesh-colored). I have an dermatologist appointment on Monday and I’m really hoping I can make it through the weekend without having one of my drop down panic attacks and ending up back in the ER. Does anyone have any positive stories about skin cancer worries that turned out to be nothing serious? I’m having some muscle aches in that calf which could be from my anxiety.
  7. This made me cry. Thank you so much.
  8. Thank you so much for the reply. You’re right, I am punishing myself and I don’t know how to stop. I am a runner. I went for a run because that usually helps, but lately nothing is helping. I really wonder if I’m a lost cause.
  9. How are you holding up? Unfortunately I can’t tell the difference between anxiety and healthy anxiety 😞
  10. I’m so sorry. No advice as I’ve been in a constant state of panic for over a week now, but following this thread as I’m curious as well.
  11. I went to the ER last night. I developed a lump on my forearm and convinced myself it was a blood clot. A massive panic attack ensued. They gave me an ultrasound of my arm and my neck and my veins were clear. Well the panic never really went away, and now I’m having weird sensations in my legs. It feels like a burning in my veins and now I can’t breathe. I went for a run just to blow off some steam and now I feel like vomiting. I just don’t know how to feel better and I’m really really struggling. I can’t stop crying. My first appointment with my first therapist ever is on Wednesday but I’m really thinking I should check myself into a psych ward until then. Please help.
  12. Thank you for the replies, Ironman & Marc. I’m working through a massive anxiety attack today, I *think* - shortness of breath, a dull pain in the left side of my chest behind my ribs when I breathe in and out, dizziness and leg cramps. I am trying to reassure myself that I am fine, but the pain when breathing is making it worse. The good news today is that the therapist I have been trying to see finally has an opening, and I’m hopeful that some therapy might be helpful.
  13. I am so sorry you’re feeling this way and can completely relate. Every symptom you’ve mentioned I have experienced as a symptom of anxiety. Tingles, headaches, loss of sensation, and stiffness. It’s awful! I am on a low dose of Lexapro which also does little for my obsessive thoughts. My HA was present when I was a teen, after I discovered I had a severe allergy to aspirin and went into anaphylactic shock. I survived obviously, but it was so traumatizing that I could never really shake the fear. My anxiety went into remission for the most part and came back with a vengeance in 2020, I really believe that the pandemic is a contributing factor for its return. In April 2020, I began spotting in between periods, which is extremely unusual for me. I cried myself to sleep almost every night, worried that I had cervical cancer. The obgyn was closed due to Covid, so I couldn’t be seen. Turns out, I was pregnant with what what have been my fourth baby (I miscarried, most likely due to the enormous amount of stress I was putting my body through with all of the panic). In November 2020, I unexpectedly experienced a thunderclap headache. The pain started at the base of the back of my neck, shot up, and engulfed my entire head. It only lasted 45 seconds or so but it was terrifying. A virtual visit with my doc resulted in an appointment for a MRI of my neck and brain - scheduled for one week from that day. For seven days I cried, hyperventilated, had shooting pains throughout my entire body, numbness, palpitations, you name it. Every night I begged my husband to take me to the hospital because I just “knew” I was dying. I took bathroom breaks at work to hysterically cry in the bathroom. My kids were so worried and I felt like I was losing my mind. I had the MRI and everything came back normal. Symptoms subsided almost immediately. My doc thought that maybe I should have my eyes checked just to be sure the headache wasn’t vision related, so in mid-November I went to see an ophthalmologist. I was expecting to get glasses for vision. To my shock and horror, on that day I was diagnosed with a rare, degenerative and genetic eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa. For weeks I cried and cried, and sincd then I’m at the point of no return. Every minor ache pain, bump, etc has me completely spiraling out of control. Worse is that the fear is now spreading onto my loved ones. Anything I would’ve written off as a minor bump or bruise in my children is now another call to the doctors office. I can’t read the news, or magazines, watch movies, or anything where death, illness or cause of death might be mentioned without it triggering me. Last night my husband said he was feeling a little anxious; I immediately burst into tears and started suggesting he might be having a heart attack. He is very kind and supportive, but I can’t forget the deeply concerned look on his face when he witnessed my reaction. I went to the ER a few weeks ago for what I thought was a heart attack. I mentioned that I was also concerned about blood clots. Well, it was a panic attack. They ran so many tests and I even had an ultrasound on my heart and left lung, all of which turned up completely normal. The physicians assistant even complimented me on how healthy I am. I’m in my 30’s, a vegetarian, exercise regularly, don’t smoke and have a glass of red wine every other night. It’s still not enough. The list of supplements that I’m taking keeps growing - Ginko Biloba (for breaking up blood clots), Garlic (blood clots), Coq-10 (heart health), turmeric/ginger (general health and also may help prevent early onset Alzheimer’s)...the list goes on. I honestly don’t know how to feel better, but reading these posts from others really really helps. Also, sorry for the long reply. This has been my HA experience and you are not alone.
  14. Thank you for the replies! I’m still fearful because I’m getting weird aches and sensations in my legs, but I know the power of my anxiety and I know it could very well be the cause of what I’m feeling. I tend to have a couple really good weeks and then I fall into this frantic state again. I’m hoping to make it through this soon.