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About DanStelter

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    Wisconsin, United States
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    healing from anxiety, sports, healthy living, personal development, entrepreneurship, NFL football, writing, online business

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  1. Hi ravenskye, First, thanks for sharing your story. That's exactly what you should use this forum for. It takes courage too...and a lot of it to share what's most difficult for you in life. I used to be the way you describe. I knew I'd fail in jobs. And it actually happened. Several times. My social anxiety was strong back then. Today though, I'm quite happy and peaceful working from home as a copywriter/online entrepreneur. I love it. And I don't feel like it's a way of avoiding social anxiety by not working in a physical workplace. Real jobs are tough. Stressful. Nearly 70% of Americans don't really care for their jobs. See: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/why-so-many-americans-hate-their-jobs/ I'm not saying you shouldn't bother working a job at all. But I am saying maybe a work-from-the-store job isn't for you. ...But don't worry. That doesn't make you a failure. You simply have to get creative. Consider self-employment. Work online from home. Work at a real workplace from home. Grow a business by advertising services for what you can do on Craigslist. I'm just throwing out ideas. Something may fit you much better than a job. You could also work 2nd or 3rd shift. Or, you take a job where you work independently (not in a cube) most of the time. Again, you'll have to look at your own skills to figure out what'll work best for you. But, certainly don't give up hope. You may also consider taking the job your boyfriend offers. But of course, if you're sure you'll only fail, you will. So now may not be the right time to take that job. On the other hand, you need money to survive. So you may want to give it a shot. Consider what's the worst that could happen if it doesn't go well. Check your other options. You have a place in the world of work. Every social anxiety sufferer does. It's just that you have to be a little more creative than the typical person. Hope that helps. And hope you find amazing work you love.
  2. Thanks for sharing your story Kaitlyn. I'm sure that took a lot of courage for you to do! Not easy. You fit the profile of a person with social anxiety disorder perfectly. My social anxiety still affects me, though not as severely as it used to. As a teen, I couldn't talk to certain people I didn't know well. I froze all the time. I was awkward. Simple things, like you say, became enormously complex. So at 14, you've properly self-diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. You did it because that's what people with this condition do. You're wired to do it. Can you get better and live happy and peacefully? You betcha. It takes time. Hard work. Patience. Medication can make your symptoms more manageable. However, it doesn't cure you. You still have anxious thinking. Just not so intense. At 14...try to make friends with people you trust not to judge you. Ones willing to understand what you go through on a daily basis. This could be your family. Or, your family may make things worse (like mine). I don't know your situation. Come to these forums for help. People can point you in the right direction. The hardest thing to do is open. That's the very thing you need to do as often as possible to the best of your ability. Always come back to these forums with questions. People here understand, and they can help you figure out what to do. Best wishes on your journey to recovery.
  3. Hey everyone - Brand spankin' new to this forum. Had social anxiety run my life for soooooooooooo long. And making some good progress on it (I'm now 34). Got a good career. Married, Got a house, and a couple dogs. But more than that, have more peace, joy, and confidence than ever before. Thing's aren't perfect. I'm not God. But good to connect with others who suffer from social anxiety. I know the hell it causes. Lost relationships. Missed opportunities. Getting fired from jobs. Feeling worthless all the time. Anyway, just saying hi Dan
  4. brit - That's rough. They're not good friends right now. #1 - Don't see it as "your fault" they treat you this way. How they treat you is their own choice. You do have some responsibility - to set boundaries and tell your friends you're hurt with the way they talk to you and treat you. #2 - You've tried that. Instead, they up the ante and torment you more. So if that boundary doesn't work, then consider telling them you can't spend so much time with you anymore. It's up to you whether you do that or not. If you do, and you really want them to stop, follow through. If you're okay with them acting as they are, don't say anything. What you do is your choice. You'll definitely feel better and more confident when you make the choice you really want. #3 - They're selfish friends. Not sure what's going on with them personally. But they clearly can't see beyond themselves into how they can help you. This, even though you've helped them already. Perhaps they're insecure. Perhaps they're parents spoiled them. I don't know. Right now, they can't be helpful to you or anyone else because they're so lost in their own minds. Anyway, it's up to you how to handle this situation. I'm just laying it out as to different options you can take. You'll probably feel a whole heck of a lot better when you set boundaries with your friends (versus taking their abuse). But again, you'll have to decide what to do.
  5. Thanks for your courage and honesty BunBun. Your anxiety sounds high. And your situation sounds par for the course for anxiety sufferers. The shadows most likely are anxiety caused. Good idea to see a psychologist. You may consider a counselor instead. Either way, having someone to talk to in complete honest about what's going on is one of the top antidotes for anxiety. Getting those thoughts outside of your head is the best thing you can do. I have learned my own head is a dangerous place to go on my own. Video games, as you see, don't work. They only distract you a little. I tried that too. The best thing you can do is tell yourself all this anxiety stuff is just anxious thinking. That's all. It's not real. Then let it go. And get on with your day. You may have to do this a couple hundred times per day at first. And seeing a psychologist or counselor helps you stay in reality. They may identify other issues you're struggling with too. Anyway, wish you a good journey. It takes some time to live with because you spent a lot of time being anxious already in your young life. It gets better though. Waaaaaaay better. Good luck!