my trigger...

[walkingwithGod 169]

Hey guys. Haven't been able to get on here as much as I usually am able to but the past couple of days, my anxiety is up. I am pretty sure it's caused by the fact that my husband had to leave Saturday for a job in Texas, 1100 miles away from home. It seemed like I was fine Saturday and Sunday but then yesterday and today, the mornings have been kind of bad for me. Just same stuff... chest discomfort, chest tightness, a few little weird aches and pains around my heart area and BOOM.. my mind starts to go off wandering and thinking... "oh no, what if this time it really is a heart attack" and thus the cycle begins.

Logically, I am aware that if I truly was having a heart attack or about to have one, I doubt I would be able to type a message on here or think rationally about it. I guess I am looking for reassurance... once again... so if anybody has any words of reassurance or encouragement this morning, I would LOVE to hear it!!

Thanks everybody!!

 

Wendi

[rainbow 333]

Hi Wendy 

you recognize  its just anxiety. Which is a good thing. You just have to convince your stubborn mind of that. The fact that your hubby had to travel thousands miles away from home has triggered your anxiety. 

Have you tried some relaxation techniques? I have had abit of a setback as well, work stress and home stress. So when I get a chance I will start that up again. 

Good luck and know your not alone 

Amber xoxo

Edited January 19, 2016 by rainbow

[Mark G 1186]

Well today i had my first panic attack in years, shaking hands, sweating, that awful feeling i had mostly forgotten about, the residual feeling afterwards that feels like a hangover and it all happened as i was going through a very difficult EMDR session with my psychotherapist.  I faced my greatest fears, old memories that started my anxiety in the beginning, memories i had suppressed for far too long.  It was horrible, it was tearful but it was necessary and i'm glad i did it as one of the drivers of my anxiety was put to bed.  During that moment, all my fear of heart issues came flooding back.  "i must be ill", "why is this happening now" i recognized these old thoughts, they were unpleasant but you know what?.. i'm still here, i'm still me, i'm no different than i was before.  I bought up in my mind all the advice that i have gained through this site and i floated through it and got to the other side.  I guess what i'm trying to say is, i'm felt the same thing you felt today Wendi and we are both here, on the forum sharing our experience, we are all going to be ok, we have the knowledge and even though we may feel crap at the moment, it never lasts.  No fear!    

[DeannaMarie 4]

Hi Wendy,

i know the feeling of separation anxiety. I get it when I'm away from my spouse or son. It's a terrible feeling...I usually get on here and read posts! Knowing that I'm not alone in this fight. You can message me if you ever want to chat. Between our heart issues and not liking to be away from our spouses, we seem to have stuff in common. Friends in the same boat can always help!

[Mrsrpmddo 222]

Same here Wendi. I totally freak when im alone. My husband has been off for a week and goes back to work tomorrow. Im already feeling panic about it. I've been getting a lot of weird tingles and other problems lately. I think we all have things that trigger us. I'm sure you will get through this. 

[jonathan123 2367]

Hi Mark.

In Homeopathy they say that you can often experience all the old symptoms before a cure begins. It as if the mind has to backtrack and experience, once again, the fears and emotions that happened before and which caused so much pain. What you went through Mark was a catharsis. A shedding of old fears. When I talk on this site about reliving old experiences and coming to terms with them well, that's exactly what you went through. Now I believe, based on my experiences in this field, that good counselling will bring these fears to the surface. If they remain Repressed, (as opposed to Suppressed), they will cause problems all the time they remain in that state. The analogy of a lake whose bottom remains undisturbed comes to mind. We can go through life leaving the bottom alone, and many do. But in an anxiety state the bottom gets stirred. Something 'triggers' it and the bubbles rise to the surface. The bubbles are the symptoms of anxiety. We need to jump in the lake and swim to the bottom to find answers, but as I said, that takes courage. It's a step into the unknown, and that's frightening. Tears are inevitable because such a catharsis digs pretty deep and raises so much emotion. But that's good, very good. It bring out into the open fears we have had for years and we can look at them in the light of our adult reasoning and come to terms with them. So many shy away from such experiences because it is frightening but without that experience the suffering continues.

"I faced my greatest fears, old memories that started my anxiety in the beginning, memories i had suppressed for far too long"

Not 'Suppressed' Mark, 'Repressed'. Suppression is a voluntary act. 'Repression' is involuntary.  If we Suppress a thought it can be recalled at will and the emotions relived in the conscious mind. But Repressed memory is something we have no control over because it happens in trauma.  A frightening childhood memory will be Repressed; that is to say it remains hidden in the unconscious until 'triggered' in adult life, where it causes the same fears and anxiety that occurred in childhood or early adult life. PTSD is a good example. But the memory does not return, only the feelings and emotions. Good therapy will attempt to bring back the memory so it can be dealt with. That is what is happening to you. And it's not necessarily childhood memories that cause problems. Many who have been in a major accident will remember events up to the accident but then there is a blank. The mind, to protect itself, shuts off the pain of remembering. The memory is 'Repressed'. It may well come up again later as anxiety, but the memory remains forgotten. That's why anxiety often comes 'out of the blue' and for no apparent reason and why it's so bewildering. " I was OK yesterday but today......"

People freak out when alone but why do they and not others have that feeling. We never bother to try and find out because of the fear of what may be revealed. So the suffering goes on and on. They suffer the fear of separation all their lives.

This is where I differ from Dr. Weekes. Childhood experiences DO have a profound effect on adult life and, while acceptance is good and basic, the need to dig deeper is always more effective in the long run. Now this takes courage and determination.

"i'm still here, i'm still me, i'm no different than i was before".

But something has happened. Yes, you are still you, but you have gained ground toward recovery. The experience of catharsis is unique to each individual.  It's very painful at the time but 'no pain no gain' is true. We avoid suffering, and rightly so, who wants to suffer? But the suffering of the anxious person has no redemptive quality. The suffering in a catharsis has. Well done Mark for having the courage to face those fears.           Jon.

 

Edited January 20, 2016 by jonathan123

[Mark G 1186]

Thanks so much Jon,  and you're right,  repressed,  I always get them  two mixed up.   It wasn't easy and at one stage I almost quit as the fight or flight became so strong,  the psychotherapist noticed this also as I was shaking uncontrollably.  This just highlights again the power of the mind doesn't it.   My psychotherapist is an absolute diamond,  she said 'be a friend to yourself" and something just clicked.  I do feel more grounded today I must admit.  I'm now having to accept renued thoughts of panic attacks for the time being.  No biggie

[jonathan123 2367]

A pleasure Mark. "be a friend to yourself". Oh yes, yes. So important. You give a lot on here so give yourself as much. We all have to learn to love ourselves.     Jon. 

[JungleJulia 235]

Hey Wendi, I'm actually going through the same lately. Ive been having heart palpitations and chest tightness/ pain. I kept trying to tell myself it was anxiety but ended up going to the doctor yesterday. I got an ECG which was normal. So I have to accept that its anxiety. I woke up again today with the chest pains and pounding heart. Its not my 'usual' anxiety symptom so its playing absolute havoc with me, I'm terrified. Hope we are both doing better soon xx

[Mark G 1186]

Anxiety will throw new symptoms at you if it deems the old symptoms are in check.  Thats what it does with me at least.  My back started aching last week and so my anxiety ran with it, it created tonnes of tension and got me catastophizing all sorts.  I eventually settled with it and thought 'no, i know this is anxiety' and calmly, willingly got on with what i was doing and it started to fade out then after my session at the psychotherapists yesterday, i noticed the pain went completely as i relaxed.  Anxiety is so cunning.  Don't be terrified Julia, i know how easy it is to feel that fear and how you will be thinking worst case scenario's, but your heart will be elevated due to the adrenalin opening your veins up and that chest pain/tightness will be the physical manifestation of your worst fears.  Your ECG was good, that rules out heart issues so the only other explanation is anxiety.  My hearts been giving me palps a few times a day too at the moment, especially when i stand up and walk.  It's so easy to react to that palp with a rush of adrenalin but that only goes to set the cycle.  If any of you need a chat or anything, i'm around a lot of the time  

[rainbow 333]

Is there something in the air because it seems like a lot of us are  going through the setbacks at the moments. 

Mine is tension headaches, tense shoulders. Yes my chest did tighten up today at work. Light headness.  Getting easily irritable at people. 

Glad to know I am not alone and we are all there for each other even if it's virtually. 

Love 

Amber 

p.s. Thanks Mark, you and Jonathan are so giving of your time and it is appreciated  

Edited January 21, 2016 by rainbow

[jonathan123 2367]

Not at all Amber. I know Mark feels as I do, that the suffering has to have some purpose painful as it is. If that purpose is to help someone over a problem then OK. This is a fantastic site. I have experience of many others and this is the tops. So many are badly managed and allow all sorts of nonsense to be posted. It's good to see the Mods on here keep an eye on things. It struck me when going to the other anxiety sites that more harm was being done than good. So many got upset by what others had said. I don't remember one incident like that here. Well, not on the Forum anyway. So folks, give yourselves a pat on the back, and a personal thanks to you all for helping me at times too.     Jon.

[LADA 44]

Hello everyone,

I too am feeling like I have been back to square one. But thank Goodness for this site and all of the wonderful posts, tips, positive energy etc When I go through my anxiety I tend to shut down A lot. Keep to myself and go through the motions alone. But! I can honestly say AC is my anxiety life savor. I can always refer back to certain posts I have read or articles that have been shared. It helps me put things back into perspective when it comes to how I should deal with anxiety and how I can overcome. I am so Thankful to you all for your help. Jon, Wendi, Mark, Amber EVERYONE! Thank you 

[jonathan123 2367]

Now that is a really appreciative post, and thank you so much Lada. But what we all do we do from love and caring because we KNOW what it's like, believe me. Now I know the word 'love' is not one that is generally used on sites like this because it can be misinterpreted, but I am talking about unconditional love.  When a Salvation Army woman goes out at night in a big city to give help to those in need, she does it from love for her fellow man. A soldier who helps his comrade who has been injured is doing it from love. On this site we also help but would hesitate to use that word. Why? Because of its connotations. It's a much used and abused word and, unfortunately, has almost become meaningless. BUT, it's still there in the hearts of genuine people who do care. Thanks again Lada.       Jon.

[rainbow 333]

hey lada that is what this site is for like jonathan said to help each other out unconditionally and respectfully.... but its nice to know that our help its appreciated, so thanks for that.... don't mind the underlining ....this site is acting up at least for me it is.... i know Gilly..... your working on it.... no pressure LOL 

Amber 

[Mrsrpmddo 222]

I couldn't get by without you guys. To take the time to help me and others is such a wonderful thing. I appreciate each one of you. I also am having major problems. Thanks for trying to help me

[Mark G 1186]

We got each others back,  we will all see the back of anxiety