New Agoraphobic and homebound

[nate808 29]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum so I thought I'd share my story with you. I recently became agoraphobic and homebound this past October. It started after I had a major panic attack on the freeway going to school, so since then I've been homebound. Just recently I've been going on short walks (a couple houses down) outside and even been able to sit in my truck and start it for a few minutes. Though I'm happy I'm able to go outside somewhat, I still feel very impatient and feel like I shouldn't be this way; like tomorrow will be the day I snap out of this horrible funk. During the day (inside), I have highs and lows. There's times when I'm excited because I drove the car a little further or walked a few more houses down. But usually somewhere in the day, there's that dreaded despair (depressed feeling really). Sometimes it lasts a little while, other days it'll linger most of day. I'm not sure what other people in this situation have gone through, but any advice or comments would be nice

 

Plus, I just got sick yesterday, so it makes it even harder to try to feel better when attempting to go out :/

 

-Nate

[Always-onguard 20]

Hi Nate. Sorry you are going through all that. I have GAD, and health anxiety which sometimes causes me panic attacks. You are doing very well with the little steps you arr taking. It takes time to recover but keep at it. Also seeing a counselor will help. Did the panic attack cause you to have agoraphobia? There's lots of other cool people here going through the same thing and everyone has great advice.

[Gilly 1086]

Hey nate, welcome to AC I suffer from agoraphobia so I understand totally what you are going through. I know it's hard to try and be patient but it takes time to recover and get back out there without those feelings of dread. The good news is you are fighting back early, I have had it for many years and it has taken me a long time to face it, but I am doing great now and can go for short walks alone, I even made 2 miles twice recently And an hour long car ride. Keep doing the things you are doing, and when you feel ready challenge yourself to do a little more. It does get easier, and you will feel amazing when you are able to do more, that gives you the confidence and motivation to keep going.

 

Panic attacks are awful and it is very common to start avoiding going anywhere for fear of having one, (exactly what I did) The good news is although they are truly awful, they cannot harm you. There is some good tips on the forum on how to cope with panic attacks, fearing them is what makes it all so much worse. I decided to not let panic dictate my life any more, after over a decade, it's quite liberating

[Junie 26]

Hi Nate, 

I, too, and very sorry that your are struggling with Agoraphobia.  I also have Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, and I just couldn't explain the way I felt to anyone - unless they, too, suffered from the disorder.  I lost some friends, because they didn't understand what I was dealing with, and they took my absence personally.    I experienced numerous panic attacks in public, and my world would get smaller and smaller, because I would start to associate the environment that I was in with the panic attack....one by one, places, events, and extracurricular activities were crossed off of my list!!  I did lots of CBT, and tons, tons, tons of exposure therapy.  Just take a drive around the block, I felt safer in my car, than if I were walking alone, say, to check the mail.  On a brave day, I would get some gas for my car, mind you, I would drive around until I found a service station where I would be the only customer.  Sometimes, I would succeed, and sometimes I couldn't accomplish the goal I'd set for myself walking outside. I remember really struggling with feelings of worthlessness, being a failure, and feeling weak and ashamed.  Any failure in not completing something was just reinforced by that "committee" in my head who were just experts at making me feel worse and worse.  I found that my path of getting a handle (not eliminating the Agoraphobia), started with taking effective meds.  Then I would go out, not to accomplish a predetermined goal, but to seek out a place that felt safe to me.  I started to accumulate various safe places, for example, a beautiful cemetery to walk in, I found it to be safe, soothing, beautiful, relaxing, and I was able to get some fresh air and exercise.  I would also try to really be in the moment when I was out in a safe place, so that I could remember the positive feelings of accomplishment, strength.  For most a simple walk is just like breathing, but for us, taking a simple walk alone is a HUGE challenge...in my case a walk outside whether it be 5 minutes or 60 minutes was a victory!  I hope you will be able to get to a point of being able to manage your Agoraphobia, Nate.  I wish you all the best!! Don't give up, Tiger!

[Gilly 1086]

Junie that is a really good perspective on beating agoraphobia, finding and using safe places. It all started for me, when like you my world got smaller and smaller because of panic attacks, and fearing them. Soon enough the only safe place was home, then my bed, until my bed wasn't even a safe place any more. The CBT was really good for me too, now the supermarket is a 'safe place' for me, and the gym and my in laws house, and the car, as long as I am not too far from home (less then an hours drive) the world is starting to become bigger again. I have to keep going but I know I am working my way back out there again, I have been able to do a 2 mile walk alone twice now! One day and one step at a time, we will get there  .

[Sonia 2]

Hi Nate,

 

I feel your pain because I'm in a very similar situation. I have suffered GAD and panic attacks for many years, but 

recently I've started to develop agoraphobia too. It started by avoiding places where I have had a panic attack and I 've 

ended un being unable to walk across the street. 

 

I'm trying to cope with it and I'm starting to develop some strategies that maybe can help you too.

 

- Fist I have learnt to face panic attacks so they don't scare me as much as they used to. Now, when I see one coming (it happens almost daily) I welcome it, I don't try to avoid it. This way, most of the times, they don't get as severe as they used to.

 

- I make the effort to go out every day —Now with company because I'm not ready to make it by myself yet. Most of the times I go to places where I feel safe (this means avoiding places where I have experimented panic attack or places where I feel vulnerable, like long, quiet streets), but from time to time, I force myself to go to one of the "scary" places. Most of the times when I go to one of those places I suffer a minor panic attack, but I know some day I will not.

 

- I keep a journal about my feeling, my fears, my progress, my goals.

 

- I talk about it with my partner and friends that care about me, and this, believe it or not, helps a lot.

 

Keep going, Nate. We all can cope with it.

Sonia

[JOYCICLE 654]

Way to go Sonia ! Keep on keeping on