Dying from fear

[garypayton 14]

 

hello guys, maybe some of you remind me for various posts about my fear of having colon cancer. By now I am going crazy and day after day I am more and more convinced of having a tumor. it all started a few months ago with simple abdominal discomforts, which have disappeared by eliminating gluten. From that moment, however, I became obsessed with my feces, while anxiety devours me day after day. I went two months ago to a gastroenterologist, who palpated my abdomen, gave me an intestinal ultrasound and told me he didn't see anything strange. For a while I was better, now since twenty days ago my anxiety has increased again. Once a week I'm having a bout of diarrhea, almost always after breakfast, which didn't happen to me before. My gastroenterologist is on vacation and returns in 10 days, i could contact another gastroenterologist via the internet who is convinced that I suffer from IBS. Fear, though, is killing me, I can't do anything during the day, I just think I'll die, that I'm sick. Two weeks ago I did blood tests, with liver and pancreas values also, and everything turned out normal. Yet I can't get better, I have crossed the line and I find myself in the territory where I don't understand what symptoms are real and which are caused by anxiety. Help me guys

[Walking Circles 53]

It's far, far more likely that you suffer from something like IBS than colon cancer. Anxiety can also wreak havoc on your body and many people have stomach troubles when they are worried. I doubt you have anything to worry about. You might try doing something to keep your mind busy, like getting involved in a hobby or the like.

[Bobnnat 492]

Gary, remind me how old you are and whether any of these things apply to you:

-  you have a family history of CC, especially occurring prior to age 50

-  you were or still are a cigarette smoker

-  you are extremely obese (BMI > 30)

Unless any of these pertain to you, especially 1 + 2, you are at no increased risk than a normal person and need not be screened until age 50. Pain is a late symptom of CC and it would not be relenting, the way your pain has.

Bob

[garypayton 14]

Hi Bobnnat, i'm 38

- nobody in the family had colon cancer

- i don't smoke

- i'm fit

I don't have pain, i had some disconfort probably caused by gluten because when i stopped to eat pasta and bread that kind of disconfort pratically disappeared (i sometimes feel it slightly but lasts like 2 seconds). What worries me is my stool and the fact that the last weeks, once a week more or less, i have a bout of diarrhea (in the morning i go "normally once, then after a while i go again). I understand what you're trying to tell me, but as you may imagine, being an hypocondriac, i did my researches on the web and red some horrific stories about young people having colon cancer.

[Holls 1496]

48 minutes ago, garypayton said:

Hi Bobnnat, i'm 38

- nobody in the family had colon cancer

- i don't smoke

- i'm fit

I don't have pain, i had some disconfort probably caused by gluten because when i stopped to eat pasta and bread that kind of disconfort pratically disappeared (i sometimes feel it slightly but lasts like 2 seconds). What worries me is my stool and the fact that the last weeks, once a week more or less, i have a bout of diarrhea (in the morning i go "normally once, then after a while i go again). I understand what you're trying to tell me, but as you may imagine, being an hypocondriac, i did my researches on the web and red some horrific stories about young people having colon cancer.

My friend had colon cancer. She's is 7 years cancer free. She was 23 when diagnosed. She had been having blood clots for half a yr when she would have a bowel movement. She thought it was colitis. But when the blood became severe she went to her Dr. It wasn't hidden or something that came up out of the blue.. it was clear something was seriously wrong. 

You have been to a gastroenterologist and he wasn't concerned and I understand our anxious minds second guess but I wouldn't second guess a specialist who has your best interest at heart. He didn't feel the need to do anymore testing and that's a good thing. Your diarrhea in the morning is probably from your anxiety. My tummy is the first to act up when I'm anxious. 

Hugs. You are in good hands with your gastroenterologist.. 

[garypayton 14]

9 hours ago, Holls said:

My friend had colon cancer. She's is 7 years cancer free. She was 23 when diagnosed. She had been having blood clots for half a yr when she would have a bowel movement. She thought it was colitis. But when the blood became severe she went to her Dr. It wasn't hidden or something that came up out of the blue.. it was clear something was seriously wrong. 

You have been to a gastroenterologist and he wasn't concerned and I understand our anxious minds second guess but I wouldn't second guess a specialist who has your best interest at heart. He didn't feel the need to do anymore testing and that's a good thing. Your diarrhea in the morning is probably from your anxiety. My tummy is the first to act up when I'm anxious. 

Hugs. You are in good hands with your gastroenterologist.. 

I know.

The rational part of me tells me exactly what you are telling me, but my anxious-me is way stronger. 

I don't know if my diarrhea is because of the anxiety, it could be, but as you surely know, anxiety suffocates one's discernment ability. You just don't get if it's "real" or if you're doing it to yourself.

[angrry 52]

hi Gary, I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through the same fear you are right now. I'm 56 and am having mild abdominal pain and flatter stools. Having said that, you have been tested and seen a gastro dr...I believe you are going to be fine. You've had some great responses fro Bobnnat, Holls and Walking.....you may want to consider therapy for your HA, it may be quite helpful. Try to keep in mind what your gastro told you and believe what you were told, trust me I know how hard that is, but you need to keep convincing yourself. Take care Gary....and I hope you can get a handle on your anxiety  

[garypayton 14]

9 hours ago, angrry said:

hi Gary, I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through the same fear you are right now. I'm 56 and am having mild abdominal pain and flatter stools. Having said that, you have been tested and seen a gastro dr...I believe you are going to be fine. You've had some great responses fro Bobnnat, Holls and Walking.....you may want to consider therapy for your HA, it may be quite helpful. Try to keep in mind what your gastro told you and believe what you were told, trust me I know how hard that is, but you need to keep convincing yourself. Take care Gary....and I hope you can get a handle on your anxiety  

Hi angrry, thank you for your kind words, since you are living my same fear, i appreciate it even more. Hope you get better soon.

I'm taking some natural pills for my HA, also seeing a psycologist who's helpful for the moment, but the day after i see him i come back to my fears.

[angrry 52]

i hear you Gary. I have suffered with HA off and on since I was 27. It is not an easy disorder to get over. Holls and Bobnnat have helped me out quite a few times over the past few years. I have always sought out and welcomed their advice  

[angrry 52]

if you ever want to talk Gary let me know...we can use the chatroom.....i really wish it got more use....better for immediate conversations rather than waiting for the forum

 

[Holls 1496]

1 hour ago, angrry said:

i hear you Gary. I have suffered with HA off and on since I was 27. It is not an easy disorder to get over. Holls and Bobnnat have helped me out quite a few times over the past few years. I have always sought out and welcomed their advice  

You have helped me many times too my friend!!! I hope you are doing well..reach out to me anytime. I'm a little more active on the forum again. 😍 Hugs. You are the sweetest. 

[garypayton 14]

well guys, as you can imagine, my symptoms are getting worst so every day i am more convinced i have cancer.

I've always been a 2 times a day guy. Now suddenly there are days i only go one time (happened 2-3 times). I really don't know what's happening. I talked to a gastro on the internet, i told him my story and he says i have IBS caused by my anxiety, and the symptoms get worst because of my anxiety.

The only symptom i still don't have is blood, and i am calling it, cause i see it coming, because it looks like every symptom i read sooner or later i have it.

Yesterday i was thinking "Well at least i am regular i always go twice a day"... and look now

i am really scared guys, really.

On 7/17/2019 at 5:26 PM, angrry said:

if you ever want to talk Gary let me know...we can use the chatroom.....i really wish it got more use....better for immediate conversations rather than waiting for the forum

 

Thank you so much angrry, i need all the help possilbe now

[Holls 1496]

Anxiety can effect the guy and change bowel habits. If a gastro Dr. Is telling you this then I would absolutely trust him. Gastroenterologist are specialist. You can't get any better reasurrance than that. 😘 Hugs. 

[Iugrad91 501]

I’ve always gone once a day but there are times I go two or three times and others where I skip a day or even two. Lots of factors go into digestion and bowel health. Going once a day is totally normal and healthy.

[otten 23]

Hello fellow digestive system worrier. 

You are obsessing about your stools. I have a challenge for you. For two weeks, don’t look. Don’t pay attention to how often either. Try it for two weeks. 

[lofwyr 215]

A good friend of mine passed young from colon cancer. He had numerous, numerous symptoms, which I obviously won't go into here. But it was not something confusable with IBS. It was obvious he was extremely, extremely sick. He did not sound like you at all.

As an aside, with the limited number of people I know who have anxiety, who I have shared a bathroom related conversation with, we all sound like you. Anxiety wreaks havoc on our digestive systems, and if the digestive system is the source of your anxiety, it becomes like an anxiety feedback loop.

You absolutely need to take @otten's advice and make a concerted effort to quit obsessing about the contents of the toilet bowl. It will help for sure.

[garypayton 14]

23 hours ago, Iugrad91 said:

I’ve always gone once a day but there are times I go two or three times and others where I skip a day or even two. Lots of factors go into digestion and bowel health. Going once a day is totally normal and healthy.

yes, but it's called a change in the bowel habits. I used to go always 2 times, now i'm only going once.

 

10 hours ago, lofwyr said:

 

You absolutely need to take @otten's advice and make a concerted effort to quit obsessing about the contents of the toilet bowl. It will help for sure.

I wish i could, i really wish

[lofwyr 215]

1 minute ago, garypayton said:

I wish i could, i really wish

Are you taking any steps to make it happen? Not to be blunt, but just wishing for it won't make it happen. Beating back anxiety is a fight. It isn't passive at all, it takes a lot of work and diligence. You can get healthy again, but you will need to get help and really work at it. Are you seeing a counselor or therapist at all?  

I am not saying any of this to be mean, and I have been where you are, absolutely. I know what you are feeling, and I know how far away "feeling healthy" seems. But you can absolutely do it. I was a total wreck, and feel pretty good these days. I have learned to live with, or perhaps along side, the anxiety. I doubt I will ever be completely free of it, and it comes back now and then, but I have an assortment of tools to keep it in check, sometimes with great success, sometimes with a struggle. 

But you have to fight it, brother. 

[garypayton 14]

Hi guys, thank you for your great support.

 

@lofwyr : i know i have to try it. I am seeing a psichologyst, but he's still not a big help. He told me i'm not hypocondriac, he says i'm just in an exhistencial hole of my life and since i don't find the way out i concentrate 100% on my so called diseases. 

I really thank you all so much for being here

 

[otten 23]

I didn't give the advice lightly. I am where you are, obsessing over digestive stuff. I realized I had to do something when I dropped my phone in the toilet trying to shine a light on it (gross right omg). 

If two weeks seems impossible start smaller. The point is to make it seem more achievable than saying I'm never going to check. Start with 5 days even. I promise you that nothing dire will happen in that time and you will feel less anxious. Then you can build on that. 

If your therapist isn't helping maybe you need to find a different one. Not all psychologists are really trained in dealing with health anxiety. 

[MARC 404]

My wife once had diarrhea every day for around 6 weeks. No organic cause was ever found. It was attributed to stress or unknown causes. It resolved on it's own. 

[garypayton 14]

On 7/23/2019 at 10:40 AM, otten said:

I didn't give the advice lightly. I am where you are, obsessing over digestive stuff. I realized I had to do something when I dropped my phone in the toilet trying to shine a light on it (gross right omg). 

If two weeks seems impossible start smaller. The point is to make it seem more achievable than saying I'm never going to check. Start with 5 days even. I promise you that nothing dire will happen in that time and you will feel less anxious. Then you can build on that. 

If your therapist isn't helping maybe you need to find a different one. Not all psychologists are really trained in dealing with health anxiety. 

Don't it happen to you guys that you feel UNLUCKY ?

 

I mean. The last 2 days i was feeling fine, my anxiety was low, maybe because the natural pills i am taking are starting to have an effect on me, my stool were fine, stomach feeling great eating with hunger... and then... i don't know why, tonight, 15-20 minutes after dinner, i had diarrhea.

now it's like once in a week i have diarreha, always after eating. Tomorrow i will call my gastro to see what he suggests, but really, every time i feel better, something happens ...

 

 

[garypayton 14]

Guys

 

is pellets like stool a symptom of IBS? I'm trying hard not to look, but today i felt small pieces coming out and i had to look

they looked like horrible pellets pieces.