Morris_The_Cat

Sorry for the long response. Lol. In summary : 1: like you, I never remember feeling this bad, unwell, or sick since before last November when that event triggered my fears. 2: since then. I've never felt good. Not one day, without either worrying about my health, or....get this.. WORRYING ABOUT WORRYING about the fear. Yes you read that right. I've ruined entire days, just scared that i might begin worrying about something health related. 3. Worrying-about-worrying has triggered other anxieties i never had before! Example: I had a panic attack once i learned my wifes parents were coming this December, frightened they may find me to be overweight because they'd made the comment to my wife (who is Chinese) that I'm fat. That's literally never happened in my life before. Having a panic attack about what someone else thinks of me. One day my wife went grocery shopping and i called to ask her to pick something else up while she was there. When she didn't answer i immediately thought she was in a car wreck and began freaking out briefly for a few minutes until she pulled into our driveway. Once again, i was never this bad until this lady last November, WHO I DON'T EVEN KNOW on my Facebook page was diagnosed with a terminal illness and triggered some underlying fears in me...sending me into this panicked state. Isn't the mind fascinating in that kind of way? Lol. Anyways, sorry to flood so much text in response. I guess i was venting because i haven't been here for over a month.

Last November my world fell apart, when I had a Facebook acquaintance (not even someone I really knew), get diagnosed with a terminal illness out of nowhere. She was a healthy triathlete. I read her daily posts for a week, as she grieved over her diagnosis (she's still alive, still fighting and doing well btw wirh her treatment. She's winning the fight). It immediately triggered something in my head - and ever since, day-after-exhausting-day I have been fearful I too could have some sickness or disease unbeknownst to me that suddenly gets diagnosed. Cancer has wreaked havoc on both sides of my family so naturally it terrifies me, and I've been health anxious all my life but never this bad. 1. Every morning I wake, the first pains I feel I immediately believe are cancer-tumor related. It's literally the first thought. Immediately my adrenaline pumps, and i get roused up with that pit feeling of fear in my stomach, until i rationalize that its just a bruise or sore muscle. But the damage was already done because now my day is ruined from the outset, and im going to question my self diagnosis all day. 2. Every cough I have, I immediately consider terminal or cancer-related just because "I" think the cough "sounded weird". 3. Heart palpitations from fear cause me to think I'm having a heart attack. 4. Any normal PVC or arrhythmia (thats known, i have by my doctor) i immediately begin imagining my arm going numb or tingly. Not because ive ever had a heart attack. But because i assume thats a classic symptom so i begin feeling something that's really not there or happening. 5. My job requires me to fill out service requests and work orders on the company provided smartphone all day. Looking down all day puts pressure on my adams apple. After 8 hours of this (not including how often we look at our own phones in our free time), my throat feels odd due to the constant pressure. I convince myself its throat cancer, and clear my throat the rest of the day until its irritated and actually becomes an issue, BECAUSE OF ME. lol 6. You think sleep would be great. Until i over think it and i lay down and listen to my breathing. As i start to go under, my brain asks "What if you stop breathing in your sleep?" Immediately images of my wife waking up next to my dead body floods my mind, with her screaming and crying and shaking me and i immediately sit up, terrified and can't sleep the rest of the night. I'm seeing a therapist, whom doesn't seem to really be doing a good job addressing this stuff. I think she's inexperienced in this field. Anyways, depression plays a lot into this as well. So much over thinking is exhausting throughout the day and at times i wonder if it will ever stop or become controlled. It feels like we're on tiny islands alone, because nobody around me, in my circle of friends or family really suffers from these like-minded thoughts or fears. My therapist doesn't seem to grasp or understand it. And my wife doesn't know how to address it or interact with it. You're not alone. Venting my fears here helps a little. And in a strange way, hearing others potentially irrational fears and the stories they come up with to justify what illness they believe they have (because ive done it too), sort of makes me feel more normalized and less alone, if that makes any sense.

I'm pretty sure my health insurance company hates me. They offer free "preventative care" and I'm using it to its fullest to qualm many of my HA fears (one being my first colonoscopy at age 36). I was recently reached out to by a rep of my insurance and told based on my medical and procedural history that they wanted to enroll me into a "behavioralist" program. I felt violated in that while I know my medical conditions are being tracked by the insurance company - that this might be a way for the insurance company to attempt to curtail the costs I'm ringing up for expensive xrays, or what they (the insurance company) perhaps deems to be unnecessary tests or procedures on my part. Specifically, with the representative outlining over the phone to me: "everyday stress in our lives can cause anxiety which overtime can lead us to overthink issues or concerns we may believe are health-related but not necessarily true". Am I a hypochondriac? Potentially. However, I didn't need some customer service representative whose not a doctor making that assumption of me, based on my billing and test results history. I actually found it insulting, but hey. They're a business and of course they're looking out for their profits. I guess I just needed to rant. I woke up hot and sweating at 2AM (darn memory foam mattress) and immediately started thinking I was having "night sweats" or a fever from some undiagnosed form of cancer I always believe I have. I hadn't been here for awhile, thinking (and hoping) I was actually mentally, getting better. Lol. GUESS NOT! BACK DOWN THE HEALTH ANXIETY SLIDE I GO! WEEEEEEEEE! What a blast!

I need A little reassurance please. About 3 months ago, I think I stretched a chest muscle while trying to do a push up (I never work out, so my muscles regularly strain when I try). When I bend a certain way or flex my chest a certain way (hunched over or twisting), take a deep breath in a certain position or get ready for a sneeze, I feel a sharp pain in a localized spot on my left side of the chest. It seems to be under my rib cage, because I can't feel the pain over the top when I press my fingers into my chest feeling for a strained muscle or something. I dont cough, no blood or mucus coughing up, no itchy lungs, no fevers, night sweats or flu symptoms and I seem to heal regularly which I guess means I have a working immune-system and I'm trying to tell myself it's not lung cancer for 3 months now but the fear never goes away. I keep imagining that the pain I'm feeling is a tumor or cancer nodule on the OUTSIDE of my lungs and that's why I only feel it in this one localized spot. But the pain goes away, the more I flex it and reoccur that pain. Then I stop, and flex again two minutes later and it's a little more sore. Could this just be a simple strained muscle? Pinched nerve? Bone bur on my rib cage? Couldn't be cancer, right? I'm currently trying to lose weight, so my weightloss acts as a trigger of fear making me think that my healthy weightloss is due to cancer.

I pop and crack my jaw all the time. LIKE, EVERYTIME I OPEN MY MOUTH. lol. It's done this my whole life. I can exacerbate it and get some really good cracking and popping sounds from moving my jaw in circles or back and forth. Eventually after 10 minutes my jaw is tired and I stop. Guess I never knew (and don't want to know) what TMJ is because I'm 36 and it hasn't killed me yet. Doesn't sound serious.

Same. My larynologist said I had "white bumps" on my vocal chords from acid reflux damage and that my throat was raw and there were ulcers on my vocal chords. Changed my diet. Stopped over eating. Tried to lower my anxiety and took additional acid reducers. It's gotten better. The body is incredible in its ability to heal itself. Post nasal drip sucks. I wake most mornings, coughing whatever drained down my sinuses into my lungs...back out. I was scared of course until I found it was fairly common for most people. I had my tonsils removed at 5 (when that was an actual thing, they did. I guess they don't regularly do it anymore). Best day of my life as a kid, lol, laying in a hospital bed, watching cartoons and Charlie Brown on TV and eating ice cream like a king all day long! Got the week off of school too!

Your first mistake: "This can't be normal" You've already - by that statement, taken the stance that you are in a worst case scenario and that you're absolutely certain something "sinister" is going on. But yet you don't know that, and that's evident by your posting your concern here, looking for validation from us that you won't ultimately believe and / or will only believe for a couple hours until you rationalize rather acutely: "Well how would THEY know if I'm okay? Maybe I really am sick?" You're an intelligent human being. You don't need our telling you, that you're okay to come to that conclusion on your own. You can begin to rationalize that yourself, which is the first part to getting control over your HA fears. I always advocate the following, before falling off the deep end into fear. 1. Make a healthy change you know is good for your body that you might have been lacking in before. Example: 30 minute walk in a park breathing fresh air, listening to soft / chillstep music on headphones at a coffee shop and people watching, get more sunshine, get more active and if physically possible incorporate a light exercise routine to work anxiety out, increase healthy fruit and veggie intake. 2. Time. After making a healthy change from the norm of every day life. Give your issue 2 weeks to get better. If it doesn't, see a doctor. 3. Preplanning. You could even set your doctors appt now, two weeks out - taking comfort in knowing you're going to see someone about your issue if it doesn't change. If it does change, cancel the appt in time (before they charge you) and you've lost nothing. 4. Relax. We hear stories about people that die suddenly every day. It's part of life. But it's not you. We can plan, try to avoid bad habits, bad decisions, try to stave off momentary bunches of bliss (like scarfing down a chunk of chocolate cake with milk. Mmmm) that ultimately lead to our down fall (there goes the 2 hour jog I just did! Right out the window!) But we're all gonna slip and fall from time to time. That's why... 5. Have the courage to stand back up. Dust yourself off and grab that loose, chaotic drivers wheel spinning out into panic mode and take control. Example not specific to you: "NO! THAT ISN'T INTESTINAL CANCER! I JUST HAVE TO FART!" And then LET IT RIP! Lol.👍😃

It's great, isn't it (sarcasm)? Everything is going good and then something just gets lodged on a rock and won't move down along the river of your mind. Like a branch. That hems up, and collects other leaves, bottles, wrappers, empty cups, trash and more branches till your mind is bogged down and backed up, flooded and stressed (leave it to me to make an analogy out of pure randomness and a river. like this lol). I have had a pulled chest muscle for 2 months now. Thought it was healing (relieving those fears of heart attack, angina, acid reflux, cancer), but when I bent over and took a deep breath while working yesterday, the sharp pain surprised me. Wasn't bad as it was 2 months ago, but showed me by surprise that it's still healing after all this time. Suddenly, you could say a "branch got lodged" in my once smooth, free flowing demeanor and calmed reserve. And then anxieties built on it, one after another. "Is this ever going away?" "Why me?" "Will it ever heal?" "Was I wrong? Is this really cancer?" "How long does it take to heal muscle strains in the chest?" Then I Google that info to get clarification, only to find in the search results 1,000s of links that say "How to tell your muscle pain is really a heart attack". Add another fallen tree, to an already clogging river. I just closed the browser out, without giving into what I knew would be more fear gathering. I've been realizing the pitfalls, and steps I fall into and how it gets me into fear mode. It's almost a step by step process of mistakes we make, coupled with bugs in search engines, and our culture as a society that plagues HA sufferers like us through clickbait. More and more, being apart of this community has opened my eyes and mind and made me stronger. I'm glad to see you use this place to rationalize your thoughts publicly. Its helped me a few times as well.

I told my doctor I wake up to pee 2 or 3 times a night, at 36 years old, like I was a grandpa or something. I rremember when in my early 20's getting drunk, passing out and not waking to pee until noon the next day (can't live like that anymore! Lol). Doctor was unconcerned. Sounds like your anxiety is back again. I have night sweats too. Even when keeping the house at 67 - 70 degrees. Sometimes too many blankets were left on. I'd only be concerned about "night sweats" if I were waking up soaked, or over and over again. Even then, I'd check for a fever first before worrying about anything unless it continued for more than two weeks. The bodies temperature range regularly fluctuates between 3 degrees constantly. Too many variables to be convinced its something bad or deathly.

Sounds like a pinched or damaged nerve. I get them a lot, and all sorts of odd sensations on my toes or feet (i do a lot of hiking over rough terrain). I once jumped 3 feet off a rock face into what I thought was a deep enough stream bed. Hit a rock just right, and my bottom foot was numb, and bruised for 6 days. Then as it healed, it spasmed enough to cause my toes to move by their selves. My health anxiety told me I'd burst an internal large vein in my foot (completely stupid). But it healed after a week. Wasted that whole time worrying instead of relaxing and healing.

This is great information. To the OP, this is awesome and accurate advice.

It all sounds anxiety related At the end of the day, we aren't doctors. We don't have your medical history or understanding of how whatever symptoms you experience correlate to what. But based on your last 3 recent threads, most of it sounds anxiety fueled. Once again, I'm not a doctor but I've experienced what you've described and it's gone away after my nerves calm down. I would suggest meditation (look for YouTube videos), deep breathing, exercise, drink more water, healthy diet augmentation (introduction of more fruits and veggies) and get more sunlight for a week or two. Compare and track your mood day-to-day in a journal as well as your thoughts during this process. If you don't notice a reduction in anxiety or stress, maybe seek some therapy or a counselor to help get your anxieties under control. It's easy to jump to the worst fears or conclusions imaginable because most times in fight or flight scenarios it keeps us safe, right? But health anxiety is a disability (that can be overcome), so we're incorrectly subjecting ourselves to a fight/flight mentality over something that could ultimately just be imaginary. CELEBRATE! LAUGH AT YOURSELF! As I laugh at my fears as well. You're creative and imaginative enough to feel sensations that maybe aren't even there. You've got an incredibly powerful mind! The reason I suggest "changing things up" in a healthy manner, is because we know you feel bad and nervous right now. Going to a doctor for "verification" or seeking validation on here from others in itself can be counterproductive. Hopefully making healthy, positive changes for a week can draw you enough out of that pit and help you to realize you're smart and strong enough to tackle and make many of these decisions on your own, without validation from others. If you wanted, change things up for a week or two like I suggested to see if it brings positive changes in. Keep track of your mood changes each day and read over them when you've reached your stop goal. If you've noticed a positive mood and feeling change, maybe you don't need to do anything other than introduce healthy interests into your life. If you're still feeling bad, then seek therapy or a doctor's advice. Take care, and don't let fear control you.

See, you've had your lungs xrayed and checked out. I've always wanted to do that to ensure my lungs are healthy (following a pneumonia infection 7 years ago, and just general lung cancer fears, despite symptoms) but i don't want the radiation fears that come with that. So I've got to convince myself to purposefully not get the xray unless suggested by a doctor. I'm still struggling now that I've started counseling (as of last week) to learn to let the fear go.

That's exactly why I never went back myself. After the $5,000 botched bridge job I received, I didn't trust dentists anymore. Was scared because every time I went back, "looks like you need a root canal". Or "oops, looks like you need some fillings ". Go on YouTube and you can see any number of dental scams, where dentists rake in the money claiming you need fillings only for the person to get second opinions and find out they don't. 20/20 and CBC have done news segments on this kinda stuff. Its scary! And how would we "the consumer/patient" even know the difference? I'm not a dentist and so if he says "you need a filling here" I just stupidly agree because I wouldn't know. I was lucky I got away from my old dentist and found a good one. Doesn't stop my fear, but I've gotten it under control enough to get my 6 month check ups.

Popcorn lung! All it took, was a picture I couldn't even decipher - of a pair of lungs (might have been healthy, might not have been. Who knows? I'm not a radiologist). I don't smoke or even vape. I wake up and look at a cousins Facebook post speaking on the dangers of popcorn lung from vaping. I immediately think about everything I've ever inhaled in my life time - and start to think about the culmination of air particulates, carcinogens, molds, industrial dusts / chemicals, car fumes breathed in over a lifetime, pneumonia or respiratory infection scars and how or when it'll culminate into lung cancer, or lung disease of some sort for me for me. It's an irrational fear. Because the past is something I can't control. It's gone. It's done. Nothing I can do to change it. My (constant) fear I've got lung cancer (even with no troubles breathing, no fevers, no coughing, no bloody phlegm, no night sweats) is pushing me to want to get xrays I know will later scare me and develop into radiation fears down the road. It's so hard to bite the bullet and tell yourself you're okay when you don't want to believe it. To keep from ever getting that "last test" (xray in my case) because you know that by doing so for clarification - you're enabling your fears. I can rationalize and tell myself why I don't have lung cancer. But has anyone else here, purposely avoided getting unnecessary tests and chose to just trust your body and doctors? But with a lingering feeling of always wanting to get the test done anyways? How do you get past the "What if something was there...?"