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About SarahLizzie

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  1. I do not answer numbers I do not know. Now do I answer private calls. Texting is also my preferred methof of communication, unless I am talking to my boyfriend or my mom, then i will call I dont want to wait for a response. I guess I do get this, I do not even call my friends, I only text them. I never put much thought into it before.
  2. I am a musician. i listen to mostly rock music, but perform classical. My main instrument is the oboe, and I also p,ay the eglish horn, flute, piccolo, trombone, mallet percussion, piano, drums, clainet, and the harp. The oboe will always be my true love. I have beeb playing it for 19 years and counting.
  3. I completely agree! This is one of my favorites. I really enjoyed the performance on this oast season of American Idol by Elise. But like you said, nothing beats the original.
  4. I am glad to meet another survivor. Though I am sorry for the things you have experienced. I too have been ****d also, althoug it was by my abusive partner. He put me throug every form of abuse you can find. Do the traumatic experiences yoy have still play heavily on you after all these years? I am hoping for a light at the end of tunnel Being haunted by what that man put through me becomes qutw draining.
  5. No, I did have any feelings of anxiousness prior to the abusive relationship. I was a happy, hard workimg, dedicated, energetic person. The relationship I survived changed me in so many ways as a person. To this day I still atruggle with nightmares and such from it.
  6. The downward spiral my life is spinning in right now is a huge trigger for my anxiety. Fiances are the biggest problem right now, and my youngest child's health. Everythimg that can go wrong does and will in my life, at least right now.
  7. I love blues, and enjoy jazz on occassion. Blues is so relaxing for me.
  8. Rock is my heart and soul! I love almost every form of rock music.
  9. I believe it is possible. However, from the readings I have done, I feel as though it depends on the type of trauma you have experienced to whether or not you will ever come out of it completely. And what you can do with yourself to help yourself recover entirely. (So to speak) I pray someday that i stop suffering from it. It affects my daily life so much, that it is frustrating when I think back to how I used to be.
  10. I used to suffer from panic attacks daily. Then I began self medicating, slightly each day, which has slowed my panic attacks down to once a month or every other month. I will never forget the first time I experienced a panic attack. I had no idea what was going on. We were getting off a halloween cruise, which my costume had 13 inch heels. All of a sudden I could not breathe, and was dizzy, felt as though I was going to pass out, and could not help but cry. The area I was trapped in was wall to wall people, you literally could not move. I felt like I was going to die. It was terrifying. My boyfriend at the time though I was faking it so I could get out of the crowd quicker.
  11. Absolutely. One of my biggest things was when I was on Effexor XR for my anxiety. It helped me tremendously, except it numbed my emotions so well that I virtually was emotionless, but everything else was normal again. While I was on it, my mother and boyfriend insisted I did not need it. It really did not do anything, and so on. I ended up having to stop taking the medication cold turkey, which is extremely dangerous to do. While my emotions were spiraling out of control, and I was s*****al (all due to the withdrawal effects), everyone thought I was pretending so some one would give me the money to go buy the Effexor. They did not understand that it stabilized my moods so I did not have drastic mood swings. When my anxiety begins to flare up, i tend to try cry. Well, I work in a kitchen with all men, and it takes a great deal for me to pushed to this point at work, but when it happens, look out the crying begins! So they men think I should not be there because I am so emotional. But it is disrespect that gets me every time at work. I find that it is difficult for others to understand who are not experiencing similar things. I too have been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety. But everyone thinks it is bogus. Which results in me keeping things to myself, or just writing in a journal. After a while, I tend to snap and freak out for a day or two, then I am good to keep everything in for a couple more weeks again.
  12. Welcome! I can tell you classy_ally, jointing this forum was one of the greatest things I have done. Even though I have not been here that long yet, the support you receive is incredible! I hope we can help out, and you can help us!
  13. I do not know where to start my venting! Everytime I turn around something is getting worse. My financial situation just keeps getting drastically worse. Meanwhile I work between 40-55 hours a week already, plus I have been freelance writing for some extra money. The freelance writing money is SUPPOSED to be being saved for our vacation in August. Well, due to the our current situation, the vacation fund, which only had like $50 anyway, is being drained. All my energy and effort for nothing. To add to it, the kids have just been insanely bad the last several days. Any my 22 month old, who is severely asthmatic, is sick and having a horrible time breathing again. Can I tackle one thing at a time please? No? why not? Ohh because everything always needs resolved by the end of the day! *sighs*
  14. I feel the same way. Each day is a struggle half the time, and I have to take care of children on top of working and everything else. Both work and the children aggervaite my stress and anxiety even more. Sometimes I feel the best thing for me to do is take a nap so I can slow my brain down. I have been battling with it for the last 7 years. I have also been diagnosed with PTSD due to an abusive relationship I was in for 5 years. I have been free from it for the last 3 1/2 years, but my symptoms have not eased up one bit. Every day is a struggle, so is every night. Sleeping is not so easy either. I keep myself busy though, which sometimes makes it even harder. But it is necessary to keep me goint. I agree, it is helpful and nice to know that you are not the only one struggling with these things.
  15. First I want to thank everyone who has commented and will comment in the future for you understanding. Generally when I try to get some one's opinion on the matter, I get judged right away. Thank you everyone for allowing me to open up to you. And thank you all for being so understanding. Based on everyone's recommendation, I am going to schedule an appoint with my doctor. Just as soon as I get my health insurance straightened out with my new employer. (I don't know what is going on HR is looking into it. I have been paying for it since January 1, 2012, and I have not received any information. HR shows now record of it, but it shows n my pay stubs, blah blah blah) . In an attempt to be able to afford enough for too feed everyone in the family every meal, I have begun doing some online work to make extra money. If I put forth enough effort, I think I will be able to earn an extra $200-250/month which will be a huge help with purchasing food. Once I am able to get in to see a doctor I will update you all with he says. I have to admit, I am scared now. I will admit, for quite some time now I have been suspecting that my financial situation aided in the development of anorexia, or something along those lines. Having others confirm my fear, is absolutely terrifying. I appreciate everyone's honesty. This has been a huge reality check. And again I will update you all once I am able to see a doctor.