Ashleyspicer84 84 Posted July 23, 2018 so I get the news that a very good friend of many years was found dead this morning in her home. I don’t know what happened to her or the reason she passed away. All I know is she had a massive migraine all last week that was making her nauseous and bluring her vision. The family is not doing an autopsy for some unknown reason. As if that’s not bad enough now I’m starting to panic because now my head kinda hurts and my vision feels a little blurry. I feel so stupid sometimes. Why can’t I just grieve the loss of a friend instead of worrying about myself. ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bobnnat 496 Posted July 23, 2018 Wow. so sorry to hear about your loss. If there's anything good about having HA it's that if we ever get a "massive' anything, we (typically, not all) rush as fast as we can to the ER/doctor. I obviously have no idea what was going on with your friend, but perhaps a cerebral hemmorhage? Anyway, we would insist we be checked out whether the doctor wanted to or not and if there was a life threatening issue going on, it would be discovered and hopefully dealt with. It's normal to think of our own mortality in a situation like this so don't beat yourself up. Bob 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PennyPanic 276 Posted July 23, 2018 First, I am very sorry for your loss. As for thinking of yourself...well, I have this theory that at least for me, I tend to worry and fret about health things as a way to not deal with other things in my life. It's like some weird and sadistic and useless coping mechanism. Would it be possible that thinking of yourself in this situation is a way of not dealing with the grief? In my case, many times, the answer to that question is "yes." That may not be the answer for you...but maybe then again, it might. Grief is a B*&tch and especially new grief like this. Again, I am so sorry. We're all here for you. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. 2 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashleyspicer84 84 Posted July 23, 2018 Thank you for your advice. I am sitting here thinking that maybe she killed herself and the family isn’t telling anyone. Who would find their 30 year old daughter dead in her bed and not want to do an autopsy? I can’t think of any other reason other than s****de. She was always such a happy and nice person and this last week her Facebook posts have been ranting, angry, and out of character for her. So I don’t know. I’m just happy I have you all to talk to. It’s kinda my therapy. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Holls 1505 Posted July 24, 2018 6 hours ago, Ashleyspicer84 said: Thank you for your advice. I am sitting here thinking that maybe she killed herself and the family isn’t telling anyone. Who would find their 30 year old daughter dead in her bed and not want to do an autopsy? I can’t think of any other reason other than s****de. She was always such a happy and nice person and this last week her Facebook posts have been ranting, angry, and out of character for her. So I don’t know. I’m just happy I have you all to talk to. It’s kinda my therapy. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That so very sad. I'm sure her cause of death will come out soon. I understand worrying about yourself. We are a here for you Again, I'm so sorry. Hugs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vandelsrock21 104 Posted July 24, 2018 Every family is different some want to remember how they lived instead of focusing on the death. All i can do is recommend the same for you. Dont focus on how or why. Turn your attention towards your friendship the memories. Easier said then done i know. Take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutmegbella 91 Posted July 24, 2018 Sorry about your friend. Selfish? It’s part of this anxiety gig. It’s hard not to be. Don’t feel like you are alone in that, because I’m the same. You’re friend could have had many things going on and it’s unique to her. And the best thing that I can think of; if I were in your shoes, and dealing with this headache. I would run it by my doctor, and tell them the reason why you are fearing any issues they will be the best to put you at ease on what can be causing YOUR headache. I know that after I hear someone I knew passed and the family or friends tell me how the person passed I start having those symptoms. So now when I hear someone has passed I shy away when they start telling me details. Or I tell them please no info on how they died. I hope you feel better soon. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Holls 1505 Posted July 24, 2018 4 hours ago, Nutmegbella said: Sorry about your friend. Selfish? It’s part of this anxiety gig. It’s hard not to be. Don’t feel like you are alone in that, because I’m the same. You’re friend could have had many things going on and it’s unique to her. And the best thing that I can think of; if I were in your shoes, and dealing with this headache. I would run it by my doctor, and tell them the reason why you are fearing any issues they will be the best to put you at ease on what can be causing YOUR headache. I know that after I hear someone I knew passed and the family or friends tell me how the person passed I start having those symptoms. So now when I hear someone has passed I shy away when they start telling me details. Or I tell them please no info on how they died. I hope you feel better soon. I do the exact same thing!!! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PennyPanic 276 Posted July 24, 2018 16 minutes ago, Holls said: I do the exact same thing!!! Me too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NervUs 140 Posted July 24, 2018 So sorry to hear this ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
