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rainbow

how to cope with lonliness especially when your anxious

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Thanks Amber. Yes, for people who are alone it's doubly difficult. To have someone to talk to is such a help even if they don't understand. When feeling down and only having ourselves to rely on is not easy. If agoraphobic it's even worse. But we must make an effort to communicate in some way with people. Humans need each other. The best form of punishment is to cut a person off from everyone. This is why solitary confinement is so popular in correctional institutions. Most of us have friends or relatives that may pop in to make sure we are OK. But some haven't. It's one of the big failings in modern society that we can live in a City of millions of people and still feel isolated. It's also an indictment of modern society!                  Jon. 

Edited by jonathan123
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I'm not alone during day or evening, I'm either with coworkers or wife and kids. But oh God I feel alone when I wake up in the night with anxiety. I feel miserable and helpless. I have found tools that help me managing anxiety like exercising, occasionally seeing a psychologist, listening to music, do things that you love.

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I've actually found being alone, has helped me. Go with me on this. I like to use alone time to talk to people in my own mind about the stuff that bugs me, without them there. I can anticipate what they would say, and I don't have to bring them down. So when I'm actually around that person I'm happy and cheary. Weird I know, but it works. 

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Thats a coping mechanism WorriedJayhawk and if it works for you in a positive way, thats great stuff.

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I am the same, Jayhawk. When I'm under a load of anxiety, I want to be 100% alone. People, even family, can really irk me at that time.  I feel like I cannot focus or think clearly with all the background 'noise' that is chattering, the tv, etc. The normal noises of other humans makes me feel extra dicey when I need my me time.

 

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Yes, it's truly amazing how differently loneliness affects different people. I am gregarious. I like to be around people even when down. To me being alone would be like a prison sentence. My wife is exactly the opposite. She doesn't get anxiety and her idea of heaven would be an  island  with a  box of paints and brushes and all the art stuff, then we could all go away for ever. I wonder if a hermit is ever lonely? But as I said we can be lonely in the middle of a big city. Loneliness is in the mind, as is any such state really.

But there is difference between being lonely and being alone. Many people enjoy being alone with their own thoughts. Which brings us to what Joy is saying, or I think she is saying: Silence! There is so much going on all the time.  

I feel like I cannot focus or think clearly with all the background 'noise' that is chattering, the tv, etc.

But silence is not just the absence of sound. It's much more than that. You can have a silent mind in the midst of noise. I have met such people, rarely but yes, they do exist. There is a Buddhist monastery in the middle of the noisiest city in the world, Bangkok, where they sit and meditate in silence while the chaotic world goes on around them. They are unmoved by the noise. If we could do that, not mediate but be unmoved by what is going on around us, our anxiety would disappear.Take action if necessary, but still be unmoved. Pie in the sky stuff? Maybe.  

a

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I typically have no noise on all day. I have dogs so they make noise walking around on teh wood floor. I do LOVE music so every day I listen to a few songs but mostly quiet in the house. I kind of dread the end of the day when the others come in and turn things on . 

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