(CSP) Compulsive Skin Picking

[Gilly 1086]

I was just reading this article and I think I may have this. It's something I have done most of my life, picking at scabs mostly, I grew up with infantile eczema. But over the last few years I have done it compulsively. I have scars on my arms and shins from it, I have a horrible scab in my ear that I pick every night, for the last 3 years. My husband says it looks gross but I just cannot help it, it gives me pleasure to pick it. If I'm not picking at it I pick at the skin around my nails or pull at skin on my lips. (I know I'm grim) I try to keep my hands busy to avoid it and even resort to sitting on my hands sometimes. I thought it may have been linked to restless leg syndrome, I did read it can happen in the arms. It is always at night that I pick, now I'm thinking it is the picking that is the problem not that it is from restlessness in my arms. Coming across this article is eye opening for me!

 

http://www.slam.nhs.uk/patients-and-carers/patient-information/patient-stories/liz#.UZZWf2cMJ1g.facebook

[Taran 8]

I never realized other people actually do this. I haven't told my therapist, but I pick at the skin, often squishing individual pore until something like a blackhead or blood comes out, especially around my shoulders and chest. I also pick at my legs loads so am covered in scabs all the time, which I scratch at night, and wake up screaming scratching at my chest so there's a fuckload of scabs there too. I never thought this would be an OCD thing... but it sort of makes sense now...

[Gilly 1086]

I've never mentioned it to mine either taran. It's been one of those 'lightbulb moments' for me. I don't know how I'm going to stop, it feels unthinkable..

[DonF 5]

I've always picked at my cuticles on my fingers, to the point where they're gone on some of them.  Then my nails grow out with ridges on them.  I wish I could stop, but it's tough.  Stress makes it worse. At least I don't do it on every finger at once.  I tend to move around to different fingers at different times.

[JungleJulia 235]

I saw an episode of Dr Phil about this. Haha yessss I sometimes watch Dr Phil ahahaha anyways there was a girl who would compulsively pick at her skin, and he said it was a kind of anxiety/ depression related thing. So it isn't really surprising that some of us do it.

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi Julia. Whose Dr. Phil? I watch a bit of TV here in the UK but have not heard of him. Anyway, we have the Ashes series coming up here and that will increase my anxiety by about 100%. Cricket is my sport and having seen the Ashes come and go over the years I am hoping they stay here this time. No doubt you will not agree!!!!!!  Very best wishes and it is good to hear from you again.   J.

[Gilly 1086]

http://www.drphil.com/

[JungleJulia 235]

this is the episode http://vimeo.com/58154025

[Hoshi 4]

Hi guys, just wanted to share my experience as I suffer tremendously from this. More formally it's called dermatillomania (like trichotillomania, which is compulsive hair-pulling, and slightly better known?) I've done it for over 10 years and I suffer from OCD, anxiety, depression and body dysmorphic disorder- I've had to focus a substantial amount of therapy on this particular condition to stop it from ruining my life entirely.

 

My face is generally where I'm the most affected. I have rosacea as it is so my skin has never been great, and pretty much every day any spots or bumps I have to aggressively scratch or squeeze them even until the skin is damaged and bleeding, then constantly pick at the resulting scabs in order to smooth them down and painstakingly conceal them with foundation until they heal. My face is constantly blotched in dark pink scarring, and as a coping mechanism on other areas of my body that can't be seen, I cover blemishes or scabs with patches of microporous tape to lessen the urge to pick them, which I then have to renew every few days.

 

To be very graphic, at the worst points I would spend hours or even days at a time, obsessively picking all over my body and my face so brutally I would have raw, bloody, gaping lesions, and effectively render myself housebound because (in my view) anyone who saw me would think I had either some flesh-rotting disease or had just walked out of a car crash.

 

When I had the therapy it took a while to filter out which of these the skin picking may have been directly related to, or whether it was something separate entirely. It's still very ambiguous because it kind of is related to all of them in some ways.The OCD aspect of it is 'I must be clean, I must carry out my cleansing ritual' where as the BDD aspect is similar, only more specifically 'I must look perfect, therefore my skin must be clean, smooth and perfect.' The two kind of feed off of each other in my case.

 

On the other hand, the depression comes into it more like 'Why do I think like this, I'm so exhausted from obsessing about being perfect all the time, but if I can't be perfect I don't want anyone to look at me so I won't go outside or do anything. And why is everyone else so much more perfect than me anyway, I just want to crawl into bed and forget it all'.

 

And then inevitably the anxiety when I'm thinking as above, and I HAVE to see people, go outside and do things because I have no other choice, 'I can't go out in public looking like this, everyone is staring at me, I'll have to cover with make-up but that will look more awful, everyone at work will notice'.

 

And etc.. It's honestly a full-time commitment to deal with.   

[Gilly 1086]

Hey Hoshi, welcome to AC, and thank you for sharing!

[jonathan123 2368]

Thanks Julia and Gilly. All is now revealed.

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi. Hoshi. Thanks for your post and welcome. You seem to be fully aware of all the reasons for your problem but, as with most of us, this does not solve it. Without knowing more about you it is difficult to suggest anything but I understand that this particular form of skin picking can be related to a childhood incident although, no doubt, you have gone into this with your therapist. Depression will naturally follow when you are constantly having to look at yourself and try and reason why you behave the way you do. It is exhausting and it depletes your  energy. Perhaps you can think along the lines of 'Perfection is impossible. None of us can ever accomplish it so give up the effort'. This sounds feeble in the condition you are in. I am so sorry I cannot help more as this is not something that is in my experience but if you want to unload anytime this is the place to do it.   Very best wishes.    J. 

[Hoshi 4]

No problem Gilly, and Jonathon, and thanks for the welcome!

 

I was mainly posting my experience as a benefit for others who wanted to know about the condition from a first-hand point of view, since especially in the UK it's a very little known aspect of OCD. But I've spent many years researching and finding out about the condition in order to better understand and cope for myself, and felt it would be worth talking about here. 

 

Nevertheless, through great support from family, friends and a lot of hard therapy, I have made a lot of positive progress over the years. I am able to maintain great joy and well-being in other areas of my life, and I don't let the condition define who I am as much as I did back at the worst points.   

[jonathan123 2368]

Wonderful Hoshi. Your attitude is so encouraging. 'Great joy and well being' is what we all seek and it is so good to hear it on the site. Your condition can never define who you are because it is not you. It is something laid on you by circumstances. The word 'circumstances' means 'things that happen around' and that just about sums it up. Good luck to you and keep up the progress.   J.

[Hoshi 4]

Hey guys, just thought I'd add this link that I got emailed recently, it's a really informative interview about this topic with a professional CBT therapist:

 

http://www.skinpick.com/node/3259

 

Just go through the 'read full interview' link

 

 

Wonderful Hoshi. Your attitude is so encouraging. 'Great joy and well being' is what we all seek and it is so good to hear it on the site. Your condition can never define who you are because it is not you. It is something laid on you by circumstances. The word 'circumstances' means 'things that happen around' and that just about sums it up. Good luck to you and keep up the progress.   J.

 

Thankyou Jonathon

[Gilly 1086]

That's great, thanks Hoshi

[Kls2303 0]

Hi, I just made this account in the hopes that I might find someone to talk to who is going through the same thing as me. For many years I have been unable to stop picking at my face. Today I picked my acne raw and I already had scars to begin with. No one else I know and have talked to understands. I feel hopeless and right now I am wearing a face mask just to cover up the mess I have made. I am so ashamed. If there is anybody who would be willing to talk to me I would really appreciate it. Thank you

[Kls2303 0]

Hi guys, just wanted to share my experience as I suffer tremendously from this. More formally it's called dermatillomania (like trichotillomania, which is compulsive hair-pulling, and slightly better known?) I've done it for over 10 years and I suffer from OCD, anxiety, depression and body dysmorphic disorder- I've had to focus a substantial amount of therapy on this particular condition to stop it from ruining my life entirely.

 

My face is generally where I'm the most affected. I have rosacea as it is so my skin has never been great, and pretty much every day any spots or bumps I have to aggressively scratch or squeeze them even until the skin is damaged and bleeding, then constantly pick at the resulting scabs in order to smooth them down and painstakingly conceal them with foundation until they heal. My face is constantly blotched in dark pink scarring, and as a coping mechanism on other areas of my body that can't be seen, I cover blemishes or scabs with patches of microporous tape to lessen the urge to pick them, which I then have to renew every few days.

 

To be very graphic, at the worst points I would spend hours or even days at a time, obsessively picking all over my body and my face so brutally I would have raw, bloody, gaping lesions, and effectively render myself housebound because (in my view) anyone who saw me would think I had either some flesh-rotting disease or had just walked out of a car crash.

 

When I had the therapy it took a while to filter out which of these the skin picking may have been directly related to, or whether it was something separate entirely. It's still very ambiguous because it kind of is related to all of them in some ways.The OCD aspect of it is 'I must be clean, I must carry out my cleansing ritual' where as the BDD aspect is similar, only more specifically 'I must look perfect, therefore my skin must be clean, smooth and perfect.' The two kind of feed off of each other in my case.

 

On the other hand, the depression comes into it more like 'Why do I think like this, I'm so exhausted from obsessing about being perfect all the time, but if I can't be perfect I don't want anyone to look at me so I won't go outside or do anything. And why is everyone else so much more perfect than me anyway, I just want to crawl into bed and forget it all'.

 

And then inevitably the anxiety when I'm thinking as above, and I HAVE to see people, go outside and do things because I have no other choice, 'I can't go out in public looking like this, everyone is staring at me, I'll have to cover with make-up but that will look more awful, everyone at work will notice'.

 

And etc.. It's honestly a full-time commitment to deal with.   

I really really can relate to how you feel and what you are dealing with. I avoid going out as much as possible, and am really anxious because my fiance is coming home soon. I usually hide myself in my room and lock the door and pretend I am asleep. My skin picking has left scars, today is the worst I have had in a while. If you want someone to talk to I am here.

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi Kls. Why do you feel ashamed? You have every reason not to. What you have is another form of anxiety. It takes us in all sorts of ways and skin picking is only one of them. You didn't ask for this and have no reason whatsoever to feel guilty about it. Have you had any professional advice? If not you really need to as there are many therapists and therapies that can help. And, of course, your doctor.

But it is the anxiety that is at the root of the problem. You are picking because you, unconsciously, want to get rid of what you regard as a blemish to yourself. You are imperfect or so you think. You can never be that skin or no skin. But you are doing the very thing that will keep the problem going. Get some help if you can. I don't know where you live and I know that in some places this can be difficult but you really can't go it alone.  Kind regards.     J.